The Kids of the Isle
by ncistennis
Summary: Mal, Evie, Jay and Carlos have been in Auradon for almost a year. Jay realizes in order for them all to be happy he has to protect himself just as much as he protects his friends. Mal, Carlos and Evie do everything they can to convince him that in order to be happy he has to deal with his past and they are there to pick up the pieces. Jay/Lonnie, Mal/Ben, Evie/Doug, Carlos/Jane
1. Chapter 1

"So how's it going with you and Jane?" Jay asked Carlos as they sat in their room after Tourny practice

"Pretty good" Carlos said smirking

"Dude you're blushing" Jay said laughing at him

"It's just weird, you know?" Carlos said scratching Dude's belly.

"What do you mean?"

"Jane's great and i love spending time with her but at the same time, I don't know what I'm doing. She hugs me and it's literally the greatest feeling ever"

"Carlos and Jane sitting in a tree. g" Jay said laughing

"Whatever, at least i told her how I feel. You said a few months ago before cotillian you were gonna dance with all the girls and you were practically attached to Lonnie" Carlos said

"Was not"

"Dude you were. Why don't you tell her how you feel"

"What? I don't have feelings for her" Jay said trying to change the subject

"It's fine if you do" Carlos said

"Yea well at least I don't show more affection to a dog than I do a person" Jay said

"Um ouch" Carlos said

"Sorry" Jay said fumbling the open textbook sitting in front of him

"Jay you like Lonnie and believe me i know how hard it is to tell someone that you care about them but I think she feels the same way, she's pretty great"

"What if she doesn't? Jay asked worriedly

"Then she's not the one for you, man. We never knew what these feelings were until we came here, it's all new still" Carlos said

"What if I'm not who she thinks I am?" Jay asked closing his book and laying back on his bed

"You two have been spending a lot of time together, she knows your from the Isle, I mean I think she's handled it pretty well"

"Yea and what happens when she finds out the real stuff, the hard stuff, the stuff that still bothers us?" Jay asked

"I thought you were doing ok?" Carlos asked

"I do most days, but some days. God some days Mal just pisses me off. She tells Ben what she wants to tell him but the rest of us have to keep it a secret unless Mal says's it first"

"You tell her any of this?" Carlos asked

"Nope" Jay said

"Maybe you should, I want to Jane more too. She doesn't get why I thank her after every hug. I just don't know how to not be appreciative of them"

"How much has Evie told Doug?" Jay asked

"Not much, we all promised Mal we wouldn't discuss it"

"I don't think I can carry these secrets any more. Lonnie will come up and surprise me and the other day I almost spun around and knocked her to the ground. If she hadn't talked when she walked up behind me, I probably would've hit her. I'm just used to having to watch my back"

"Always be ready to fight" Carlos said

"I would never forgive myself if i hurt her" Jay said

"You tell her to stop sneaking up on you?"

"Sorta but it was more like I don't like this but I think she seemed a little hurt" Jay said

"Jane doesn't get why I stiffen when she hugs me, it always takes me a second to realize it's not a bad thing"

"Can i be honest with you?" Jay asked Carlos

"Yea, I'm always here for you. Dude go to Jay" Carlos said pointing to Jay's bed.

"I don't think it's fair to Lonnie to tell her I have these feelings for her when I don't know what these feelings are, I don't know if I'm capable of it" Jay said while looking away from Carlos and scratching Dude's belly.

"I get that, the way I feel about Jane is different from how I feel about the three of you or my mother"

"Well I would hope so" Jay snarked

Carlos rolled his eyes before he continued.

"Look were're always gonna be the kids of the Isle, the kids of villains. We can choose good and we can be Auardon kids now but at the same time, the Isle is what made us, us for good and bad. I think it's time we tell the people we want about the Isle. Our own baggage, we don't need to spill each other's crap"

"Good luck convincing Mal, she can be a real dragon bitch sometimes" Jay said

Before Carlos could say anything, Evie barged in.

"Knock much?" Jay asked

"It's the middle of the afternoon" Evie said rolling her eyes

"What's with you?" Carlos asked

"Did Doug hurt you?" Jay asked getting defensive

"What? No" Evie said calming Jay down

"Can I sleep in here tonight?" Evie asked

"You having night terrors again?" Jay asked softly

"Sometimes, but no. I'm pissed at Mal" Evie said

"Here we go" Jay said, hating when him and Carlos got in the middle of the girl's drama

"Doug, he surprised me today with breakfast and when I opened the door I didn't have any makeup on and my hair wasn't done. I was in old pajamas, not the new ones and he saw me like that"

"And?" Jay asked

"AND HE SAW ME WITHOUT MAKEUP" Evie said

"Evie, if Doug doesn't like you without makeup and just waking up from bed then he doesn't deserve you" Carlos said

"You know that line of advice is not always gonna work Carlos" Evie said

"Evie we all know how crazy about you Doug is, I'm sure that he didn't care"

"He told me I looked beautiful" Evie said looking down

"Yea nope, not talking to Lonnie. Too confusing" Jay said grabbing his sword to polish it

"What" Evie asked spinning back to him

"Another story" Carlos said waving Jay off "So you're mad at Mal because Doug saw you without makeup and said you looked beautiful?" He added confused

"Ugh" Evie groaned

"I'm lost with Jay" Carlos said and Jay nodded along

"My mom always told me I wasn't beautiful enough to let a boy see me without makeup, what if Doug breaks up with me?" Evie asked in a small voice

Carlos and Jay knew this should have been Mal's territory but ever since Carlos decided him and Jay should be apart of girl talk, the girls shared everything with them and Carlos realized somethings were better left between them.

"Evie, you're the fairest of them all, makeup or no makeup, you're beautiful" Carlos said putting a hand on her knee

"You can't let what your mom used to tell you, affect you here. If Doug doesn't think you're pretty enough I will personally see that he gets his ass kicked" Jay said hugging her

"Thanks" Evie said hugging him tightly back

"I just wish we could escape our parents. We're an ocean away and here I am still stuck with my mother's messed up thoughts"

"Evie, the way she talked to you was abusive, I know it's hard to accept. I don't think any of us have accepted what happened to us" Carlos said looking at Jay

"Most days I'm an Auradon girl but then some days I still hear my mother's voice telling me everything that's wrong about me" Evie said wiping her eyes.

"So what happened after he said you were beautiful?" Jay asked

"I slammed the door in his face, Mal came out of the bathroom and I told her that I wanted to tell Doug about the Isle but she said I couldn't" Evie said looking down

"See" Jay practically yelled to Carlos

"What?" Evie asked

"Jay feels like he can't tell Lonnie about the feelings he doesn't understand without explaining more about his past" Carlos said

"Why don't you put it into an e-mail blast to the whole school" Jay said annoyed

"Guys, Mal might not know she's doing it and she might honestly be doing it to try and protect us but her trying to control us is only hurting us" Carlos said "We gotta tell her we need to talk"

"Um when have you ever stood up to Mal?" Jay asked

"I'm working on not being the scared pupping of the group"

"Who would've thought it would take living here for Carlos to grow a pair and stand up for himself.

"I don't think we can move past it if we keep ignoring what happened to us" Carlos said

"I agree" Evie said

"Me too" Jay said

"So what do we do?" Jay asked

"Call Mal over" Carlos said pulling out his phone

* * *

"No we all promised that we wouldn't talk about the Isle unless we needed to" Mal said, hands on her hips

"Yea Mal and we need to" Jay said

"No we don't I tell Ben what he needs to know. I'm a lady of the court, I can't have other people knowing what actually happened" Mal said

"God Mal, listen to yourself. You tell Ben, people can't know your past because your on the court. It's not always about you Mal" Jay said

"What I think Jay meant was that somehow you determined that you can tell Ben about the Isle to explain why you are the way you are but we promised you that we wouldn't and it's not healthy. We can't explain why Jay can't tell Lonnie how he feels, or why I stiffen every time Jane hugs me and then i hug her for much longer than is normal or why Evie doesn't want to be seen without makeup" Carlos said

"Don't you get it M, we try to make everything seem fine but we all have scars. Emotional and physcial and I get we all want them to come out on our own terms and we have to be careful who we trust but I don't think I can keep the act up"

"E" Mal said before Jay cut in again

"Mal we're not a gang anymore, we get to finally just be friends. We don't have to constantly bail each other out of trouble. You're not this big leader anymore. You said it yourself, you're a lady of the court now" Jay said

"Excuse me, my mother is the most evil" Mal said offended

"Yea and now she's a tiny Lizard, so how did that work out for her?" Jay yelled

Mal stood there stunned, it had been awhile since anyone challenged her. Even though none of them wanted to steal Fair Godmother's wand, they all still had her back.

"What you don't want to be friends any more?" Mal asked

"No Mal, we all still need each other. We're family. I just mean..." Jay said before drifting off

"Mean what?" Mal asked sarcastically

"He means that you might have ruled the Isle and it's no secret we all followed your lead as little kids because your mother was the most evil so it made you the leader but somewhere along the way we became more than just a gang of kids running around a grimy Island. We were friends and a family long before we came here. We all saw each other for our strengths and helped each other with our weaknesses. Admit it Mal, Jay's had to bail your ass out of trouble more times than any of us can count but because people feared your mother more and just didn't like his father he needed that protection" Carlos said stepping back from Mal

"Carlos?" Mal asked shocked that he went back at her

"He's not the little puppy of the group any more" Evie said smiling

"Fine Jay, you want to be leader of the group. Go for it" Mal said

"Mal that's not what I meant" Jay yelled

"You have it all figured out? You're in Auradon now and don't need to protected from your daddy?"

"Mal you're out of line" Evie yelled

"Mal come on, physically Jay took a big brunt of the Isle, if he needs to talk you gotta let him" Carlos said gently

"I still remember the night you cried and begged me to get my mother to get your father to stop hitting you"

"MAL" Evie yelled

Jay backed up against the wall quietly looked at Mal.

"I've always had your back Mal, I'm asking you as my friend and as my family to let me talk to at least Lonnie about what I went though on the Isle. I won't share any of your guyses stuff but I can't tell her how I feel without telling her where I'm from" Jay said gently looking away

"You want to take over, just go for it" Mal said storming out

"Well that could have went better" Dude said

"Dude" The three yelled at him

* * *

"Guys I know you're both hurt but there's gotta be a reason Mal doesn't want to talk about it"

"And just like that Carlos is back" Jay said

"No I'm gonna go find her and make her tell me why she doesn't want us to talk about it" Carlos said walking out of the room

"You always said the stuff your dad did wasn't that bad" Evie said gently leading Jay back to the bed

"I didn't want you to know how bad it was and look at me like I couldn't protect you. I figured if you and Carlos knew you wouldn't want to be friends with me anymore because I would not have been able to protect you" Jay said looking down at his hands

Evie tilted his head up to meet hers. "I would never have thought that, Jay" Evie said hugging him

Jay tightened before he wrapped his arms around Evie's stomach and hugged her tightly.

* * *

I hope you all liked it. Don't forget to leave reviews!


	2. Chapter 2

Carlos jogged after Mal and caught up with her in the courtyard outside of the boy's dorm.

"Mal, wait up"

"What Carlos" Mal said looking down. She knew her friends were right and she knew she was being unfair to them but at the same time she wasn't ready to share all of the Isle with their new friends.

"Come on Mal" Carlos said leading her to a row of benches

Mal didn't say anything, she just fiddled with Ben's ring.

"Mal I think you need to hear out Jay, Evie and I" He said taking a deep breath "I know we promised but I think our secrets are hurting us more now than helping us"

"Carlos everyone here finally slightly accepts us. You want to jeopardize that?"

"The people we want to tell have accepted us awhile ago. This wouldn't change it Mal, and the rest of them with opinions like Audrey and her grandmother, they don't matter"

Mal didn't say anything.

"Jay and Evie are really hurt. I am too. I wish you would realize that. Mal us, the four of us we should always come first. We're family. I wish you would at least give us a better reason for not wanting to talk about it" Carlos said gently

"You don't think I don't care about you guys?" Mal asked shocked

"I didn't say that" Carlos said shaking his head

"Didn't have to" Mal said looking away

"You don't want to tell the others why, can you at least tell me?" Carlos pleaded

"No, there's no reason. I just want to put it all behind us" Mal said

"You know I'm not buying it"

"I don't care" Mal said

"Yea well you better come up with a better answer than that. You're hurting us but you're also hurting yourself. Evie said she's gonna stay with us tonight. Maybe it'll give you time to think" Carlos said as he got up

"Have fun without me tonight" Mal said bitterly

"May we just need some space from each other" Carlos said sadly

"You three aren't needing space"

"Maybe you need space from us" Carlos said as he walked away

"You know where to find us" He added before turning around

* * *

Mal sat there for a minute thinking about what Carlos said. She couldn't believe that they wouldn't just drop it. She had her reasons, she didn't know why they couldn't respect that.

Carlos got back to his room and saw Evie and Jay sitting there talking.

"You guys ok?" Carlos asked

"You kiss princess dragon's ass and make it all better?" Jay asked

"Jay, come on" Carlos pleaded

"Did she tell you why, she never told me"

"No she didn't give me a reason. More of a because I said so" Carlos said sadly

Carlos looked at Jay and Evie and could see how tried they both were.

"You guys ok?" Carlos asked

"It just feels weird" Evie said

"I know" Carlos said hugging her

"Do you feel like we've all been pushing so hard to fit in with getting accustomed to school and then the hype of cotillion that now, now it's just all rushing back" Evie asked the boys nervously

Jay immediately looked up. Evie put into words exactly how he was feeling.

"All sports are over for the semester now. We only have finals to focus on and then summer. I didn't realize how busy I had been"

"Um I could've told you that. Those Saturday practices were a killer that you convinced coach to have" Carlos said

"We won didn't we?" Jay asked

"Yea we did" Carlos said beaming

"But I get what Evie's saying. We didn't have time to think about the Isle after Cotillion, and believe me I don't want to go back but a lot of what I tried to bruied had been resurfacing" Jay said

"Jay why didn't you tell us you still had nightmares" Carlos said

Jay didn't say anything, he only shrugged and looked away

"Is that why you were in the bathtub the other night?" Carlos said shocked

Jay didn't make eye contact with Carlos but nodded.

"You told me it was a stomach bug or food poisoning" Carlos said

"What?" Evie asked looking between them

"My nightmares have been coming back, I just didn't want to burden you buys with it"

"Jay, it's not a burden. You should tell us these things" Evie said gently

"Jay" Carlos said

"Once I realized that I was having them again almost every night I would wait till you were asleep and then go sleep in the bathtub and move back to bed before you got up" Jay said turning red

"Oh Jay" Evie said taking his hand in hers

"You could've told me" Carlos said

"You both, but especially Carlos have been doing so well here, I didn't want to upset you. So when you got up to use the bathroom the other night and saw me asleep in the tub it was easier to tell you to that I threw up. I'm sorry you went and got ginger ale, gatorade and a bucket in the middle of the night" Jay said ashamed

"I'm you're best friend, you know I would do anything for you" Carlos said

"I know" Jay said nodding, swallowing the lump in his throat

"What have they been about?" Evie asked putting her hand on Jay's back

"Just my dad" Jay said drifting off

"Jay I've known for years that you hid how bad it was" Carlos said

"I wish I had known sooner" Evie said

"The one night that keep coming back was the night I walked Evie home after we stayed in the loft. She had purged all night beucase she knew her mom wouldn't be happy and so I walked her home and stayed in her closet while her mom yelled at her. When I went home in the morning, my dad. He knew I had stolen food from him, but Evie needed to eat even if she purged it later. Then he asked where I was the last few days and why I hadn't stolen anything. I was tired of stealing, sometimes I needed a break from it"

"Jay why didn't you tell me?" Evie asked shocked with tears in her eyes.

"I wanted to protect you. Mal's mom had sent her to my dad's store and when she asked about me he slipped and said I was in trouble. She immediately left and came to find me. My dad had, he..." Jay said before stopping

"It's ok, you're safe" Evie said softly before hugging him

Jay was in a trance as soon as he felt Evie's touch he stiffened and then elbowed her off of him, hard. Her hands felt like his father's and all he could think about how his father had grabbed him from behind.

"Jay!" Carlos yelled

Jay looked back at Evie as her collarbone began to bruise. His eyes began to water and he stammered his way to the door. "Ev, E, I, sorry" Jay said before he ran out of his and Carlos' room.

"Evs you ok?" Carlos asked shocked

"Yea I'm ok." Evie said rubbing her chest. "But Jay's not"

"Should I give him space or should I follow him?" Carlos asked

"We both know Jay can out run you when he's not upset. I think it's better to wait till he's calmed down. Did he take his phone?" Evie asked worriedly

Carlos looked around for the usual spots Jay left his phone.

"I think so"

Evie just nodded and pulled out her phone and sent him a blue heart emoji.

"What did you send him?" Carlos asked

Evie showed him her phone and Carlos nodded.

"I should've remembered he would go into trances like that" Evie said shaking her head.

"Don't worry, we'll make sure he's ok" Carlos said

"How did you adjust so well?" Evie asked

"I pretty much told dude everything, I would scratch his belly and just talk, it really helped. This was all before the truth gummy. But I also think that because I was basically my mother's slave, I knew it was wrong and I wanted out. Your parents weren't great and clearly we didn't know everything with Jay but I think because my mother was so crazy that everyone knew what I had to put up with. It was less of a secret"

"You could be right. I'm glad you have dude, even if he is sarcastic" Evie said laughing

"Evs we gotta let Jay talk to us and or Lonnie because he clearly is sturggling and it's not fair to him" Carlos said

"I know" Evie said nodding

* * *

Jay had run out of the boy's dorm, feeling hot tears in his eyes. He was so thankful that he hand't changed out of his workout clothes because he needed to run and run fast. He didn't run anywhere near the barrier, only running around the wharf and to town. When he was far enough from campus he found the local park and sat on a bench.

He thought about how he wasn't any use to anyone in this state. He couldn't even take care of himself. He had hit Evie, Evie of all people. She tried to hug him and he elbowed her. He couldn't look at her, he couldn't face her. He didn't know how she would ever forgive him.

He was on the bench when he head his phone go off, it was a text from Evie with a simple blue heart emoji. He knew he was about to cry so he started running again. As he was running he collided with Lonnie, who was on a run with Ariel's daughter Melody.

"Jay?" Lonnie asked as she hit the ground

"Lon...Lonnie" Jay asked swipping a hand across his face

"Are you ok?" She asked looking at her clearly distraught friend

"Let me help you up" Jay said holding out is hand

When Lonnie took his hand, his whole body tenses until Lonnie's voice broke him from his trance

"Jay, what's wrong?" Lonnie asked concerned

"I gotta run, I'll see you later" Jay said running away from them. Lonnie stood there confused and Jay pulled out his phone as he ran and texted Evie back telling her she could stay with Carlos and he'd camp out somewhere. She answered him more or less telling him to get his butt back to his room with Carlos.

Jay procrastinated a little longer going back before he finally reached his door. He turned it slowly and saw Evie with an ice pack which she quickly dropped when she met his eyes.

"Evs" Jay said, voice wavering. Big, hot tears in his eyes.

"It's ok I know it was an accident. I should have remembered the trances you go into. Can I give you a hug?" Evie asked closing the distance between them.

Jay just nodded, he couldn't talk over the lump in his throat.

Evie was in front of him in seconds and quietly told him she was going to hug him before she did. He nodded and she gently put her arms around him and he froze for a second before he wrapped his arms around her and buried his face in her shoulder.

"It's ok Jay" Evie soothed

"I don't want to be like Jafar" He said shakily, tears still rolling out.

"You're not. Jay I promise you are not like your father" Evie said fiercly.

Evie gently led him to the table and chairs in the middle of the room and sat there hugging him as he drained the tears out of his eyes. He hadn't cried since being off the Isle, not that he really ever cried there. It was like all of the years of abuse, neglect and stealing were coming out in gut wrenching, big, hard sobs. Carlos moved to the chair on the other side of Jay and sat down.

He looked at Jay before he quietly spoke "I'm gonna put my hand on your shoulder" Jay nodded and Carlos clutched Jay's shoulder. Dude moved as well and laid on Jay's feet. Carlos knew that Jay needed to talk to get past the Isle whether Mal liked it or not and if Jay couldn't stand up to Mal, than Carlos would do it for him.

* * *

I hoped you all liked this chapter. Don't forget to review! It will be a core four story but what happens when they are feuding with Mal and what happens when Carlos has to be the brave one. I hope Jay isn't too out of character. I wanted to show some of the vulnerable side of him.


	3. Chapter 3

The three of them weren't sure how long they had been sitting there.

"Jay" Evie said gently

Jay looked up, his face meeting hers and Evie realized how much her friend had been struggling.

"I'm so sorry Evs. I never would want to hurt you. You must think I'm a monster" Jay said ashamed

"I think that you're my best friend" Evie said

"You don't hate me?" Jay asked

"Of course not. You didn't do it on purpose" Evie said

Jay gently brushed her shirt to the side to see the damage he had caused. He gently ran his thumb over the blueish green spot at her collarbone.

"It's okay" Evie said taking his hand in hers.

Jay didn't say anything he just nodded.

"I'm getting kinda hungry, anyone else?" Evie asked

"You guys go, I'm not very hungry" Jay said

"Why don't we just order from Royal Pizza and get it delivered. We can talk and eat and no worry about anyone hearing" Carlos said

They all agreed and Carlos called and placed their order for pizza and mozzarella sticks and Evie went to get a change of clothes from her dorm.

"Are you sure you'll be ok?" Jay asked her

"Yea, Mal's probably with Ben anyway"

Jay just nodded.

Shortly after Evie returned with an overnight bag and ice cream, their pizza wasn't too far behind.

"Jay how long have you not been sleeping?" Carlos asked handing him a plate

"I liked it better when you didn't know how to start girl talk" Jay said which made Evie laugh

"Jay come on, it's just us" Carlos said

"I had a dream one night that Uma was still in the ocean and somehow got the other Villains out and my dad was one of them. He found me here and started hitting me and then I woke up" he said taking a deep breath "after that the nightmares have been pretty consistent"

"Why didn't you tell me or Evie?"

"I knew you both had horrible nightmares when we first got here, I didn't want to trigger anything in you guys"

"I still get them pretty frequently. It's why I like sleeping in here or having you guys sleep over. It makes me feel safe" Evie said

"Mine slowly started to go away once I started talking to Dude" Carlos said

"I think that maybe we should've checked in with each other more regularly" Evie said

"The funny thing is though, even though I wasn't sleeping much I wasn't tired. I loved the day and going to class and practice and getting meals with you guys. It kept all those thoughts at bay. It was only when..." jay said before ever cut in

"Only when you stop and think that those thoughts come flooding back" Evie said

"Yea" Jay said quietly

"How long ago was your Uma dream?" Evie asked

"Shortly after we got back from fighting her and Cotillion. I guess it was being back on the Isle and fighting Uma and her crew. I was scared that our parents, or I guess mostly my dad. That if he found out I was back on the Isle he would prevent me from coming back with you guys"

"You never led on" Carlos said surprised

"I couldn't. We had to protect Mal and get Ben back. I had to make sure Lonnie was ok and I had to have your backs. I didn't have much time to worry about myself" Jay said "I knew we were all uneasy about being back and our parents finding out. But I know I'm supposed to be the muscle, the enforcer, the dumb guy that stands in the back with his arms folded showing no emotion" Jay said

"Jay, you're so much more than that" Evie said feeling her eyes tear up. "You are a fantastic best friend, you're the most loyal guy I know, which is so ironic since you used to say there's no team in I. You are smarter than you give yourself credit for. I know Carlos has been helping you and that you pulled your grades up. You might have a tough exterior but anyone that's seen you coach the pee-wee leave for tourny knows how great you are with the kids. You found a loophole so Lonnie could be on Swords and Shields. You might be the muscle but that doesn't mean that you can't also be smart or have emotions" Evie said squeezing

"Have you been drawing at all?" Carlos asked

Evie looked surprised when Carlos said it and looked at Jay.

"He knows. I told him after coach yelled at me for being too aggressive on field"

"I have kept it up. Before when Evie first reccomended it I started off just doodling but then I started drawing the Isle" Jay said

"And Evie" Jay added

"Yea"

"I like how you reworked my speech to you" Jay said smiling

"I don't know what you mean" She said smirking

"How I told you that you can be more than just your looks, that you can be smart and you don't need a king" Jay said jokingly reminding her

"Oh yea" Evie said laughing

"What do you guys say we schedule a time once or twice a month to actually check in, sit down and talk about anything we want. Isle related or not. Not just a oh hey let's grab dinner and hang out but more of a therapy session" Carlos said

"I like that plan" Evie said

"It might not be the worst idea" Jay said

"Good"

* * *

They had finished their dinner and watched a movie when Evie told the guys she was getting tired.

"I'm gonna get ready for bed" Evie said getting up from the chairs

"You gonna try actually sleeping your bed tonight?" Carlos asked

While he knew that Jay didn't always sleep in his bed, he had no idea it was from nightmares and not just needing to get used to having a bed.

"I'll try" Jay said

"You know you can wake me" Carlos said

"I know" Jay said nodding "I just know that for the last fifteen years you didn't sleep good and now you sleep like your dead and I didn't want to be the one to mess that up" Jay said

"I've never felt safer sleeping than I do here. Even when we stole that loft back on the Isle, I knew there was always a possibility of my mother finding me but being here, you sleeping closer to the door. I didn't know sleep could be that good" Carlos said

"See I can't ruin that for you"

"But you deserve to have peaceful sleep too" Carlos said

Jay looked away.

"Dude you know you deserve to be here and have fun and feel safe"

"You didn't really hurt people on the Isle. I stole from them, I hurt them" Jay said

"You were doing what you needed to do to survive" Carlos said

"Doesn't change the fact I still did it" Jay said "Every once and awhile I get the urge to steal just to make sure I can still do it"

"If Mal can turn into a dragon you can have the urge to steal, you just can't act on it" Carlos said knowing that Jay will steal stuff from him and return it before he thinks Carlos notices.

"What if I do?" Jay asked

"I know you will put it back before you think I'll notice" Carlos said laughing at Jay's shocked expressoin

"You knew?!" Jay asked shocked

"Yea buddy I knew" Carlos said laughing

"Why didn't you say anything?" Jay asked

"Because I figured you needed it" Carlos said "As long as it's just me"

"It is" Jay said

"So I have a request" Evie said walking out in her blue and gold plaid pajama pants with a matching oversized blue tee with a red heart and her gold slippers with red hearts on them

"And that would be?" Jay asked

"We push the beds together tonight. Like we used to do on the Isle"

Carlos and Jay just looked at each other and rolled their eyes. The girls loved all four of them sleeping in the same bed. Honestly they both did too, there was a strength in numbers but there would never admit that.

Jay and Carlos pushed their beds together and Jay grabbed his pajamas and went to get ready for bed

"You miss Mal?" Carlos asked her

"Yea" Evie said sadly

"Me too" Carlos said nodding

"Evie!" Jay yelled

She and Carlos quickly reached the bathroom door which revealed Jay standing there in horror

"What the heck is all this stuff?" Jay said looking at the counter

"Makeup remover, cleaner, serum, toner and moisturizer"

"And all that fits on your face?" Jay asked shocked

"Yes" Evie said confused

"How long are you staying for?" Jay asked still staring at all the bottles

"It's my night time routine"

"You know both of your skin is looking a little dull" Evie said

"Um thank you?" Carlos siad slightly insulted

"You guys have been out in the sun a lot with tourny and between the dirt and sweat your gonna cause breakouts" Evie said rolling her eyes at them

"Um Ev, we don't need all that" Carlos said

"You don't either" Jay said

"Come on let me put it on you guys" Evie said

They both shook their heads no which only earned them some pleading from Evie.

"Please it'll be fun" Evie said

"Um fun for who?" Jay asked her

"Both of you could do with a hydration mask" Evie said

"I'm out" Carlos said

"Me too" Jay said

"Evie, you look just as beautiful without make up standing in front of us right now as you did an hour ago before you started all of this" Carlos said

"Like I said Evie, you don't need all this stuff"

"But..." Evie said quickly looking away from the guys

"Evie" Jay said gently

"What if...what if when we see our parents again, my mother doesn't like how I look. I can hear her already. Evie you are gaining too much weight, your face is getting puffy. How will a prince ever love you?" Evie said tearing up

"Oh boy" Carlos mouthed to Jay

Jay just nodded, knowing that even though Evie said she had been doing ok, her mother's thoughts were still running thorough her head.

"What about Doug?" Carlos asked gently as Evie walked away from them over to the couch

"What about him?" Evie said

"We thought you were past the whole needing a prince thing" Jay said

"I am, I think I am. I really do like Doug and he makes me happy and he is so understanding of everything. But there's no way my mom will approve of him. Carlos you really think that your mom approves of Dude? Or Jay, you think your dad is gonna be proud of the fact that you stepped down as captain and let someone else do it, or that your two favorite sports are team sports" Evie said lashing out at them

"Um, ouch" Carlos said

"Way to kick a guy when he's down" Jay said

"Oh god" Evie said running to the bathroom and slamming the door

"We need Mal here, we need all of us to come together for each other. No more lying about how we're doing" Carlos said

"Mal hasn't exactly been helping the situation" Jay said

"None of us have" Carlos said

"Evie needs us though, now" Jay said quickly closing in on the bathroom door.

He knocked lightly but all he heard in return was sniffles.

"Evs, come on. Open up" Jay said gently

Evie didn't say anything so Jay turned the knob and was surprised it was unlocked. When him and Carlos walked into the bathroom they saw Evie sitting on the bathroom counter, back to the mirror, knees to chest.

"I'm sorry" Evie sobbed

Jay didn't say anything he just walked over to the counter and hugged Evie. He was a lot better with starting the human contact than he was receiving it but he knew Evie loved his hugs.

"Ev, come on out of the bathroom ok" Jay said

Evie nodded and Jay stepped back and held a hand out to help her down.

She walked over to Carlos' bed and sat next to Dude and began petting him. Carlos said next to her as she folded her feet under her and Jay brought a chair up and sat in front of her.

"You promised me you were eating normally again. I should've checked in more, I got so busy with practice. But Evie you promised" Jay said looking directly in her eyes

"I am" Evie said tightly

"Evs" Carlos said gently

"Mostly, it was only around Cotillion that with Mal's drama and making all the dress and your suits that I sorta just forgot. It wasn't because i wanted to. Doug picked up on it and I did tell him about how I struggled when we first got here because I finally was gaining some weight because we actually food to eat. I know what I'm supposed to do, and I really do try everyday, but some days...Some days my mother's voice wins out" Evie said voice breaking

"But you promised" Jay said, surprised at his own tone

"Jay" Carlos warned

"I'm sorry" Jay said putting a hand on her bent knee

"I did promise, but recently I have been having a hard time with the little bit of weight I've gained. And on top of it I love makeup and doing my makeup, but I don't always need a full face. I will never give up my blue eye liner and red lip because it's who I am, but I also don't always feel the need to cake it all on to look perfect. But then I get a glimpse in a mirror and my mother's voice comes flooding back" Evie said putting her head in her hands

"I'm sorry I pushed" Jay said sincerely

"I think we both just wish that you would see yourself the way we see you, the way Doug sees you" Carlos said

"I'm sorry. I've just been having a hard time lately. I should've been more honest earlier" Evie said

"It's ok" Carlos said

"Just thinking about the way she used to speak to me, makes me really emotional. Then when i said those things to you earlier. i could hear the evil in my voice and I never want to hurt you two."

"So running to the bathroom was the way to fix that?" Jay asked giving her a smile

"No, you Villains barged in anyway"

"What we do best" Jay said

"Now I know that we need to check in with each other more. Coming here was a huge adjustment and yea Fairy Godmother and Ben tried but we weren't exactly loved at first. We've been on the Isle our whole lives. Those scars aren't gonna go away in a year" Carlos said

"You're right" Evie said putting her hand on his cheek

"I mean you're doing the best" Jay said

"I know I never want to go back" Carlos said "Let's face it, I wasn't a great villain, no one took me seriously" Carlos said

"You got that right" Jay said

Evie just shot him a look.

"Evie can you promise me that you will tell me if you are struggling with eating. I didn't steal food for you to not eat free food here" Jay said giving her a smirk.

"I know I'm sorry. It makes me feel guilty" Evie said

"NO" Jay said forcefully "I don't want you to feel guilty. I want you to feel good and be yourself" Jay said

"And feel like you can come talk to us, even though we're not Mal" Carlos said

"I know we're all mad at her, but I miss her tonight"

"Me too" Carlos said

"I do, even though I'm still mad. I do miss her. We're a family, we no longer are just four people in a gang" Jay said

"We've been a family long before we came here" Evie said

"We need to stay one" Carlos said forcefully

"I love you guys" Evie said wiping the remaining tears that were in her eyes.

Jay put his hand on top of Evie's and looked right at her.

"You're beautiful and smart and I love the person that you are. Don't let your mom's voice change who are you" Jay said squeezing her knee

"We're proud of who you are, that's all that matters. Not our parents" Carlos said taking her other hand

"I think we need to spend the next few days talking everything out" Evie said squeezing both their hands

All three of their phones rang at the same time and Carlos grabbed his off the nightstand.

"It's Mal in the group chat" Carlos said

Jay and Evie both looked at him and he continued. "She sent the purple heart and said she was sorry, that she should've listened to us better and that she misses us. She wants to know if we can all talk tomorrow. She said she'll bring breakfast over if we want to" Carlos said

Evie and Carlos both looked at Jay, knowing he was probably the most hurt and he nodded.

"We're a family" Jay said nodding

Carlos answered her and Mal sent back her trademark "evil dreams"

"We really are the best friends anyone could have" Evie said

Carlos and Jay nodded and both went to get ready for bed. Carlos changed in the bathroom first and then Jay.

"Evs I'll take the floor" Jay said pulling back his comforter for her

"Jay you deserve a bed" Evie said

"Can't let Princess Blueberry sleep on the floor" Jay said jokingly

Evie saw right through it and knew Jay still wasn't comfortable in bed. Sleeping on a rug, in a stolen goods shop with heavy nonworking TVs over your head can really mess with a person.

"Can we share a bed like we used to in our hideout?" Evie said

"We can't all fit in one of these beds" Carlos said

"Push them together, like we did in the beginning when we first came here" Evie said

"I can do that" Jay said

"Me too" Carlos said

Jay and Carlos pushed their beds together and Evie grabbed her own pillow and blanket and the small red bear with a heart dress that Doug had given her.

"Stuffed animals?" Jay asked smirking

"One teddy bear from Doug. Her name is Val" Evie said

Jay and Carlos couldn't help themselves from laughing. Valentines day was pretty comical for all of them. A day set aside to tell people you loved them, well that was definitely knew to them. Doug had no idea that when he went to Evie's room she would have thought he was playing a prank on her but she quickly grew to love her teddy bear.

Jay put the big fitted sheet on over his and Carlos' sheets that Evie said made so no one fell through the middle of the bed when all four of them would share a bed.

"In you go" Jay said waiting for Evie to get in the middle before he got in on his side.

He made sure that Evie's blanket was fully on top of her before getting in bed and avoiding laying on her blue hair.

He turned on his side put an arm across Evie's stomach. He would deny it forever, but he loved when they shared a bed. He always had a good night sleep and he knew they all slept better. While it looked like they were cuddling, on the Isle they held on to each other for warmth and protection, and it stuck with them.

Carlos got in on his side and fixed Evie's blanket on his side before he also put an arm around her.

"I love you guys, I'm glad I have you both"

"Love you too" Jay said

"Love you too" Carlos said

"Wake me if you have a nightmare" Jay said to Evie

"You too" Evie said back to them.

Jay nodded and kissed the top of Evie's head

* * *

I hoped you all like it, I am excited to go more into what could have potentially happened on the Isle. Don't forget to review and let me know what you think Mal is gonna say.


	4. Chapter 4

Thanks so much for all your support, here's the next chapter!

Jay tossed around for a while trying to get comfortable. The more he tried to ignore the Isle, the less he liked sleeping in a bed. A part of him didn't want to get used to it in case they got sent back. Why get used to something so comfy and wonderful when it could possibly be ripped away. Evie could feel him moving all around and turned on her side to face him. Carlos was fast asleep, one hand on Evie's pillow and Dude asleep at the foot of the bed.

"Jay would you lay still, seriously go to sleep" Evie said slightly annoyed for what felt like the thousandth time after Jay kept tossing and turning

"I was asleep" He whispered

"How with your constant flipping?" Evie said

"Why aren't you asleep?" Jay asked trying to change the subject

"Becuase every time I start to drift off you turn and flip and flop and I got your elbow to the boob, and to the back" Evie said

"I'm sorry Evs" Jay said sadly, trying to get out of bed

"Jay" Evie said gently putting a hand on his harm to stop him. Both of thier eyes had adjusted and now they could actually make out each other's forms in the dark.

"It's the bed"

"What's wrong with it?" Evie asked

"Do we need to do this now?" Jay groaned

'You gonna go to sleep?" Evie asked

"Probably not" Jay said "But we don't want to wake Carlos" Jay said "And why aren't you asleep?" He added sarcastically

"Because you will not lay still. Everytime I fall asleep you spaz out and your limbs go flying" Evie said

"I'm sorry" Jay said

"It's ok" Evie said putting a hand on his shoulder

"Do you ever wonder what will happen if we get sent back to the Isle?" Jay asked her

"No, Ben promised after we saved his ass that he wouldn't send us back" Evie said

"Yea but what if something happens" Jay said "You really think my dad would even give me a rug?"

"Oh Jay" Evie said hugging him "You're not gonna get sent back"

"What if I do?" He asked quietly

"Are you planning on being bad again?" Evie asked him

"No but I feel like I can't fully relax here, like I'm just waiting for everything to get taken away from me" Jay said

"Jay we're safe here" Evie said

"I know. I know..." He said trailing off

"I guess i just keep waiting for something to happen that will get me sent back"

"You dad can't get you here. You're an AK now, you need to trust yourself and Auradon" Evie said

"I guess you're right" Jay said

"You deserve a nice bed Jay" Evie heard him sniff when she said that and she put her hand on his cheek and felt that it was wet

"Jay"

"It's just usually when these emotions come out. When it's me and my thoughts" Jay said wiping his eyes

"You don't have to go through it alone" Evie said

"I know" Jay said nodding

"Hey you deserve good Jay, you deserve to be happy" Evie said

"Then why is it so freaking hard?" Jay asked squeezing her hand

"Because until a year ago, you weren't allowed" Evie said truthfully

"Why me? Why us four? Why were we chosen out of all the VKs to get a better shot at life?"

"I don't know. I wonder all the time about that too" Evie said

"I almost feel guilty because I know that I'm not the only kid that didn't have a bed"

"Is that why you don't like sleeping in it?" Evie asked

"Partly. Also because what if one day all this ends and we have to go back. Then what? I'm back to the floor. Might as well not get used to it" Jay said

"Jay you can't live your life like that"

"Seriously though Evie, like what if I do something stupid or slip up and get sent back to the Isle and I've been sleeping in a bed here all nice and comfy. How would I go back to sleeping on a ratty old stolen rug if my father even gives me that?"

"I don't have an answer for you" Evie said sadly

"I don't wanna mess up. I don't want to go back. I don't think I'd survive any more. I don't know how much longer I can keep this exterior up" Jay finally admitted

"You love Tourny, you love Swords and Shields, you love coaching Tourny. Why do you think you'll mess up?" Evie asked

"I can't tell you" Jay said trying to roll away

"Why not?" Evie asked

"You promise you won't get mad?" Jay asked

"I promise" Evie said

"I steal from Carlos. And before you yell at me. He knows. I figured he did but I wasn't sure but tonight he said he knew. I always put it back but I do it to feel something you know?" Jay said ashamed

"What does Carlos think?" Evie asked looking to make sure the youngest of the group was still asleep

"He said he's fine with it if that's what I need to do. But that I can only steal from him and no one else" Jay said

"See Carlos gets it" Evie said

"But what if I end up stealing from someone else?" Jay asked

"You need to first figure out why you still do it" Evie said propped her head up on her elbow

"Theres a few reasons" Jay said

"Yea I figured" Evie deadpanned "Care to elaborate"

"Usually when I think things are going too good here, make sure I still have it for when we get sent back my father won't totally beat the shit out of me" Jay said bluntly

"You're not gonna get sent back" Evie said "Ben promised and I don't think Ben would break that promise after he saw what we lived with" Evie said

"Yea things go south with Mal, you don't think we'll get sent back?" Jay asked

"No. We've proved ourselves" Evie said

"You're too trusting" Jay said

"Jay you gotta learn to trust people again" Evie said

"I don't know how" Jay finally admitted

"You trust us. You trust your team"

"Of course I trust you guys. I trust the team because I have to and the guys on the field prove that I can trust them on the field. It's different off the field"

"Is this why you can't tell Lonnie how you feel?" Evie prodded

"Partly. I don't... I don't trust myself to not hurt her" Jay said tears welling

"Oh Jay" Evie said sadly

"I don't want to talk about it. Please" Jay said

"Will you two shut up or at least include me?" Carlos said from his side of the bed

"What?" Evie asked

"How long have you been awake?" Jay asked

"Long enough to know that you really need to talk to us more" Carlos said "And long enough to know that you should trust Lonnie. She hasn't let us down since we became friends with her"

"Carlos is right" Evie said

"Of course I am" Carlos said

"Great yea, everyone knows Jay is messed up, Jay has trust issues" Jay said

"Jay is also talking in the third person" Carlos said

"We will help you through them" Evie said

"I know you will. I just want to feel happy and be happy and not constantly worry about getting sent back or feeling guilty that we're here" Jay said

"You gotta start opening up, you can't keep everything bottled inside anymore" Carlos said

"I'm sorry guys"

"If I hold your hand will you try to go to sleep" Evie asked

"You guys stay in the bed, I'm gonna go sleep in the shower" Jay said

"That's ridiculous" Evie said

"Evs, we're all tired, please" Jay begged

"Please try to stay in your bed. We're right here with you, ok?" Evie said

"We got your back, dude" Carlos said reaching across Evie to pat Jay's head

"Seriously" Evie said laughing at Carlos' arm on her face

"Tomorrow we talk to Mal, we all talk and work though everything and then Jay you talk to Lonnie when you're ready. You need to talk it out with her" Carlos said

"Alright" Jay said

"Go to sleep ok?" Evie said "Roll on your stomach"

Jay did as he was told and Evie climbed over Carlos and ruffled through her bag to get out her lavendar spray. She sprayed some around the room and then onto the back of Jay's shirt and climbed back over Carlos and got in bed.

Her foot got caught on the blanket and she tumbled to the bed half landing on Jay and half onto Carlos

"This is your idea to help me sleep?" Jay asked getting her situated again

"I would've moved" Carlos said laughing

"There we go, you stay on your stomach" Evie said to Jay

"Why?" Jay asked

"Just do it" Evie said

Carlos just laughed at the way Evie mothered them. Mal provided the tough love but when Evie wanted something done, Carlos knew not to mess with her, she was the mother of the group.

Evie slowly and methodically ran her hand up and down Jay's back, applying pressure to get him to relax.

"s'nice" Jay said sleepily after a few moments

"I used to do this for Dizzy after her grandmother made her work for days on end and she was in too much pain to sleep" Evie said "It's comforting and relaxing"

"I'm not rubbing your back everynight" Carlos said, which caused Evie and Jay to burst out laughing

"We'll get through it guys, I promise" Evie said

"Before Evie knew it Jay was sleep and Carlos not far behind. He had slung an arm around Evie, that way they were all connected.

* * *

The next morning all three started to stir awake. Jay was shocked when he woke up in a bed. His body felt better and he had never felt calmer waking up.

He could tell Evie and Carlos were still half asleep so he just laid there rubbing Evie's back like she had done for him. Eventually they both woke up and it took them a few seconds to figure out where they were.

"Thank you" Jay said sincerely as soon as Evie moved

"Huh?" She asked groggily as she stretched, which earned Carlos a hand in the face.

"Ugh" Carlos said

"Sorry" Evie giggled

"I slept in my bed" Jay said "Thank you for that. I didn't know my body could wake up without pain and my head could be clear" Jay said

"I just wish you had told me sooner" Evie said cupping his cheek

"I will next time" Jay said giving her a small nod

Evie had Carlos hand her her phone and when she checked in she had a few missed texts from Doug and Mal.

"Mal wants to come talk" Evie said

"Tell her to come over" Carlos said

"Can one of you text her, I have to call Doug real quick"

"Sure" Carlos said texting Mal to come over

Jay grabbed a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and got washed and dressed. Carlos did the same once Jay was done. Once Evie got off the phone she grabbed a pair of dark blue leggings and her Auardon Prep tee and got washed and dressed in the bathroom. She decided against putting on makeup. It was just the four of them today. Mal said she'd bring breakfast with her and they needed to talk. She figured not wearing makeup around Mal and the boys was the first step to getting comfortable in herself. While she loved putting it on, she wanted to want to wear it, not feel like she has to wear it.

As Evie walked out of the bathroom there was a knock on the boys door.

Evie could see Jay tensed up a little and Carlos went to get the door.

"Hey" Mal said walking in. She looked about as good as the three of them did. Her purple hair in a bun and just in purple sweats.

"Hey M" Evie said

"Hey" Carlos said looking towards Jay

"Jay. I'm sorry. Please forgive me" Mal said walking in.

"Depends what you brought for breakfast" Jay said, eyeing the bag. He was still hurt but he knew there was no reason to be pissed as soon as Mal walked into the door.

Mal put the bag on the floor and ran to Jay and gave him a hug. It caught Jay off guard but he slowing wrapped his arms around Mal's waist.

"Let's eat first" Carlos said

"I missed you last night" Evie said to Mal

"I figured you would have stayed with Ben. But I missed you too" Evie said hugging her

"I needed to think, to process what you guys said. Realize that Jay was right. I was being selfish" Mal said

"We did some thinking too, but we need to eat first. I'm hungry" Carlos said

They all agreed and Evie and Carlos walked over to the table and chairs and started to take food out of the bag, Mal grabbed Jay's arm and stopped him.

"Mal, I'm hungry too" Jay fake whined

"Jay, please" Mal said seriously

Jay nodded, getting serious again

"I'm really sorry for how I've been acting and how I've dismissed the fact that you guys are also dealing with lingering feelings of the Isle. My reasons for not wanting to talk about everything were selfish. You've been loyal to me, to all of us and it's been hurting you. I have no right to keep you hurting. I'm sorry I blew up yesterday. I'm sorry I hurt you" Mal said, tears forming

"It's ok. The three of us talked last night and it was good. I know we all need to talk. I'm still hurt but I get why you took it out on us, on me specifically" Jay said

"I hope I can earn your trust and loyalty back. I missed all three of you last night" Mal said

"We missed you too" Jay said

"I should never have thrown your dad at you. I was out of line. I knew it would hurt you and..." Mal said before she started crying

"Mal?" Jay asked

He was still guarded with Mal, his hurt wasn't going to go away in a day and he knew that Mal knew that, but she was trying and so could he.

"I was scared that you were gonna forget about us, and me"

"What?" Jay asked like she was crazy

"Everyone likes you, I know you've been doing well in school and you have all your sports. I was scared that you we're gonna realize I'm more trouble than I'm worth, that you don't always want to bail me out of whatever mess I got us into so I lashed out. I was wrong and I'm very sorry" Mal said

"We're family, I would never leave you, Carlos or Evie" Jay said, voice growing thick.

"I know that. I just..." Mal said trailing off

"Went all dragon bitch on me?" Jay asked smirking

"Ha" Mal said letting out a laugh "I kinda did, didn't I?"

"Just a little" Jay said laughing

* * *

The four ate their breakfast and moved the two couches around and got comfy to sit down and have a proper discussion. Jay was sitting on the floor, Evie on the couch behind him him and Carlos and Mal were on the other.

They sat there just looking at each other when Jay spoke up.

"What up?" He asked smirking, knowing that would break any of the last tension between them.

"Ha" Mal laughed

"We really nailed out first girl talk" Carlos said

Evie just laughed and played with Jay's hair

"I think I would like to hear why Mal said all that yesterday before we all start dishing our issues" Carlos said

They all nodded and looked at Mal who took a deep breath in.

"Hooo, ok" Mal said shakily "I was scared that if we started talking, that it would come out who my father is" Mal said

"I didn't know you know who it was" Carlos said surprised

"What it's not like it's Gaston or Hook" Evie said

"It's not Jafar is it? We're not related are we?" Jay asked

"Have you looked at each other? How could you possibly be related?" Carlos asked

"Guys" Mal said frustrated

"Sorry, go on"

"I have one question" Jay said

Mal nodded

"Why didn't you tell us before?" Jay asked

"My mother swore me to secrecy. She didn't want anyone to know because I am technically more powerful than her. I mean once all my powers come in and I learn how to use them, I will be"

"Who is it?" Evie asked

"Hades" Mal said

* * *

I hope you all liked it. Don't forget to leave a review or a message!


	5. Chapter 5

"Wait what?" Evie asked

"Your father is the" Carlos said stunned

"God of the Underworld?" Jay finished

"Yea" Mal said looking away

"How long have you known?" Carlos asked gently

"He left when I was about four, last time I saw him was when I was about eight" Mal said

"Wow" Jay said

"Why didn't you tell us?" Evie asked

"He left my mom, Maleficent wasn't exactly thrilled so it was never discussed" Mal said "It's not like most people have two parents that they know on the Isle" Mal said

"I know that our gang originally started because it was either me or Uma in first grade and I didn't want you guys to leave me because of who my father was" Mal added looking away

"It doesn't change anything, Mal. I think we're just a little hurt as to why you didn't tell us sooner" Evie said

"I didn't want you think I was too evil" Mal said wiping a tear away.

Carlos put his hand on her knee and she placed her hand on top of his

"It doesn't change anything Mal" Jay said

"What if it does for Ben? That's why I'm scared of him finding out. I'm already daughter of the most evil, add in half goddess of the underworld and then what happens?" Mal asked

"Ben likes you for you. Ben has already proven he knows who you are. I don't think this will change anything for him" Evie said

"It would be better coming from you too" Carlos added

"I think you can trust him" Jay said looking up at Evie who nodded at him

"I know, I just don't know how to tell him. I'm sorry I took that out on your guys" Mal said

"You need to tell him M" Evie said

"I will, I promise. And you guys should talk to whoever you want to talk to" Mal said as she looked at Jay

"Jay what's been going on with you? I'm sorry I didn't know you guys were struggling too"

"Can I go last?" Jay asked

"I'll go. Somehow I think I've adjusted the best" Carlos said

"Once Ben introduced me to Dude and told he wasn't a rabid pack animal I started talking to him. No matter what I said to him he would lick my hands and want belly rubs. Ben said that he's never seen Dude show that much affection for any other student. Talking to Dude helped. I know it seems crazy but I got it all off my chest, I wasn't holding on to these things anymore. And dogs were such a huge fear that by conquering that fear and proving my mother wrong, it showed me I could be more than just her slave, more than just one of the VKs" Carlos said

"I wish you could've felt that you could talk to us the way you do to Dude" Mal said

"I knew we were all trying to move on, and that we all needed to do it a different way" Carlos said "I was the most protected since I'm the youngest. Jay drug me to Tourney and stuff and gave me the confidence to play and be apart of the team. I got closer with Jane and then I finally worked up the courage to talk to her. I think I needed to know what affection was before I could ask Jane out" Carlos said

"I'm glad you knew I had your back" Jay said

"Always bro" Carlos said

"I just want to be able to talk to Jane about the Isle, to tell her why I love her hugs so much. Sure you guys had hugged me before, but outside of the people in this room I had never been hugged before" Carlos said

Mal immediately hugged him and Carlos laughed.

"I finally know that I'm safe and that Cruella can't hurt me here. I like school and Tourney and science club. And everyday I wake up here in a bed with food to eat, I'm grateful to be here" Carlos said "We all know I really wasn't bad, I'm not cut out to be a Villain" Carlos said "None of us are" Carlos said

"Evs" Carlos said looking to Evie

"I know I struggled with needing a prince and everything and then when Chad used me for his homework and turned me in. Doug helped show me that I'm not just a pretty face, and then my designs took off and the more I did the less nightmares I had from being locked away and starved. I know I struggled with eating once we finally had proper nutrition but I realized I'm finally healthy. I know Jay wore himself out making sure I ate and most days I'm fine with eating now. Sometimes I still have nightmares but I didn't want to freak you guys out so I didn't say anything. Then with Doug seeing me without makeup in pjs I was worried he wouldn't like me anymore but I know it was just my mother's voice in my head telling me I was too big, and not pretty enough. And it scared me that she can still mess with me even all the way here" Evie said wiping a tear.

Jay and sat sideways next to the couch and took Evie's hand in his. Handing her a tissue, he gave her hand a squeeze.

"Thanks" Evie said dabbing her eyes and not letting go of Jay's hand.

"E why didn't you tell me?" Mal asked

"Because you were busy being a lady of the court. You haven't been around a ton and I get it, you know. So i just kept it to myself. I knew the boys wouldn't want to talk about it" Evie said

"If something's bothering you Evie you need to tell us. We'll protect you" Jay said

"I think we all were trying to portray these perfect lives but I was slowly unraveling" Evie said

"I'm sorry E" Mal said, tears in her eyes

"I hope you know now that you can always come to us, no matter what it's about" Carlos said

"I know" Evie said nodding

"Jay" Evie said gently

Jay froze and then eventually nodded.

"The three of us talked a lot yesterday" Carlos said to Mal

"I don't know where to start" Jay said

"From the beginning" Mal said "All of it"

"Coming here, I mean we came with a mission and yea we were "bad" when we first got here but the day that I won MVP for Tourney, I felt a way I've never felt before. I was truly happy. And then there were all these people that were just as happy for me. It was weird" Jay said "But I liked it"

"I'm sorry I still tried to steal the wand after you said that it wasn't so bad here" Mal said

"After we chose good I felt like we were safe and while I still didn't sleep in my bed, I was starting to lay in it more. Then when you freaked out and ran back to the Isle, I knew you weren't going back alone, so I didn't want to sleep in it to only lose it"

"Jay I..." Mal started before Jay cut her off

"Please Mal, I gotta say it all now before I chicken out" Jay said which earned him a nod from Mal.

"I've always been protective of you guys, and I wasn't gonna let Mal go back to the Isle by herself. We all got soft here and I knew she couldn't handle Uma without us. Then I started spending more time with Lonnie and she came to the Isle to fight with us and I felt a way I've never felt before. It was different from wanting to protect you guys. I love you guys or at least I think that's what it is. I mean I don't have a lot of experience with it. But I know I want you guys and that I need you guys. Once we got back I didn't want to lose my touch, incase we went back to the Isle so that's when I started stealing from Carlos just to make sure I still could do it" Jay said looking at Carlos who nodded for him to continue

Evie could hear the change in Jay's voice and she slid off the couch onto the floor next to him. She brought her knees up to her and wrapped her arm around Jay's.

"After we got back my nightmares started again and a lot of them were about the day we fought Uma only my dad showed up and everyone ended with him beating me, starving me or ... or trying to. Trying to kill me" Jay said, eyes growing wet. Evie grabbed his arm tighter.

"You guys were all doing ok. Evs was eating normally and I knew she was ok. I didn't have to protect her from herself anymore. Mal worked out her issues with Ben and he knew who he was and Carlos was happy with Dude and Jane. Happier than I've ever seen him. And I kept having these thoughts and I stopped sleeping. I couldn't stand to see my bed because I knew I would never have one if I ever got sent back. Lonnie and I were getting closer and I was so scared of hurting her. The day she came up and surprised me with cookies she startled me and I tackled her to the ground. I saw the fear she had and I don't...I don't want people to be scared of me life I was scared of my father. I knew I couldn't get close to her without telling her about the Isle but I had promised Mal so I tried to keep my distance but it's not what I want" Jay said stopping as his voice betrayed him

"Come here" Evie said hugging him

"Shh, it's ok to let it out. You're safe" Evie whispered him

Jay buried his face in Evie's shoulder and covered the rest of his face with his hands.

Carlos and Mal moved to sit in front of him

"What do you want buddy?" Carlos asked gently putting his hand on Jay's leg

"I just want to happy like you guys" Jay said crying, voice thick with emotion

"Jay" Mal said basically jumping on him to hug him

"We'll help you" Evie said, her own tears falling

"I don't want to be like my dad, I don't want to ever go back to my dad. I wouldn't survive again" He said through broken sobs

"Why didn't you say anything sooner?" Mal asked

"I was ok taking care of you guys and protecting all of you but then somewhere when my nightmares came back I knew I couldn't protect you guys, I couldn't protect myself. I didn't tell you everything my father did to me because I didn't want you to think I couldn't protect you. And those memories all came back. I felt useful in the beginning, Carlos from dogs, Evie from Chad and herself, you from screwing up Auardon and stealing the wand. But I couldn't protect myself and that scares me" Jay said

"Then you guys started to be ok, and I wasn't and I didn't want to put that on you" Jay said wiping his eyes but keeping his head on Evie's shoulder

"Jay you're nothing like your dad. You care way to much about people, you like being on a team. You're not him" Carlos said

"You're dad scared the poop out of me, but I knew you always had my back. I was never scared of you" Carlos said giving him a hug

"You helped me see I'm more than just a pretty face. I will help you see you are so much more than just a fist and a thief"

"I wouldn't have survived without you. You always understood me, I'm sorry I didn't realize you were struggling. You always have our backs, but you don't need to carry the weight of the world on it" Mal said hugging him

"After I freaked out the day Lonnie had surprised me she was helping me work on my emotions but part of me knows that what we went through is far from normal and that we need to process it and that crying isn't a sign of weakness but then I hear my father's voice telling me how worthless and useless I am. How I have friends I protect and care about and how I like being on a team and it scares me what will happen if we ever get sent back" Jay said putting his head down

"Jay I think we need to get you some real help" Carlos said

"NO!" He yelled

"Jay, Carlos has a point" Mal said

"We can go with you, you won't be alone" Evie said

"No way"

"Why not?" Carlos prodded

"When then find out what happened to me, who I hurt on the Isle. I will get shipped back with yesterday's trash faster than Ben can turn into a beast"

"No they won't. It's in Ben's declaration that we don't get sent back" Mal said

"Is there anything darker going ok?" Mal asked

"No, no I promise you guys that. I love being here and I have big plans for the Tourney team next season. I'm not going anywhere. I just need to figure out how to get rid of some of the past" Jay said

"You can't get rid of you, you can move on from it but the Isle will always be where we came from" Carlos said

"You do need to stop bottling it all up" Evie said

"Why don't you try talking to Dude, it helped me. And if it doesn't help and you still can't talk to Lonnie, then we're talk to Fair Godmother about you needing to talk to someone" Carlos said

"I like that idea better"

"You can always talk to us" Evie said

"I know" Jay said wiping his eyes

"You feel any better?" Evie asked

"I do, my head feels a little clearer" Jay said

They talked some more the rest of the day and they decided that they would have Ben, Doug, Jane and Lonnie come over the following day and they would talk to them about everything and they would do it together.

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed it! Don't forget to review!


	6. Chapter 6

"I'm really sorry I made you guys promise not to talk about the Isle. I was out of line and selfish. I never thought about it hurting you" Mal said

"It's ok" Jay said "We all needed to be more honest with each other"

"I just can't believe we're gonna tell them tomorrow" Carlos said

"I hope Doug is ok with it" Evie said

"I think that we need to take that chance. It's who we are, we can't change it"

"You two should be fine, it's Mal and I that did more of the bad stuff" Jay said

"You guys did what you needed to do to keep your parents off your backs" Evie said

"Jay we all know what your dad was like" Mal said

"He was truly a terrible person" Jay said sadly

"You're not like him bro" Carlos said knowing what his best friend was thinking

"What if Lonnie can't handle it? I mean she even said she thought villains loved their kids" Jay said

"I think you need to give her the chance" Evie said

"What if she hates me after she finds everything out?"

"She saw the Isle, I really don't think she's gonna hate you. She likes you too according to Jane" Carlos said

"She might not after we talk"

"Then she doesn't deserve you" Mal said

"Do you want to talk to her separately tonight?" Evie asked

Jay shook his head "I think I need you guys with me to do it"

"Crap, I have a ton of missed texts from her. I've been sorta ignoring her all week"

"Maybe you should talk to her tonight, just tell her where your heads been and tell her you're gonna explain everything"

"That's not a bad idea blueberry princess" Jay said which Evie just rolled her eyes at

It was now late in the afternoon once the four had talked some more. Jay had asked Lonnie to meet him in the courtyard outside of their dorms after dinner. They four stayed in the boys room all day and just hung out and talked, making them all feel better.

"I think I'm gonna be sick" Jay said pacing around his room

"Then sit down" Carlos said

"You're gonna be fine. You're just going to talk to Lonnie" Evie said grabbing his arm

"Be honest with her" Mal said

"ok I'm going" Jay said putting his hair into a bun and throwing on his warm up jacket.

He was pacing around the fountain waiting for Lonnie. It was after dinner, not late but still dusk out.

"Jay" Lonnie said giving him enough distance so she didn't scare him

Jay saw the way she flinched when he spun around and he felt like immediately crying

"Lon" Jay said pulling her into a hug as soon as he could reach her

"Hey is everything ok?" Lonnie said putting her hand on his cheek

"Yea I think so" Jay said

"Where have the four of you been, away plotting?" Lonnie asked laughing

Jay laughed and smiled at her. "No, we needed to come together as a family and handle some stuff" Jay said leading her to the bench

"Is everything ok?" Lonnie asked concerned

"Yea, I mean it will be" Jay stammered

"You know you can talk to me right" Lonnie said gently putting her hand on his

"I know" Jay said, voice thick with emotion

Lonnie didn't push and Jay stayed silent

He waited a little before taking a deep breath and turning to look at Lonnie.

"I'm sorry I've been MIA lately. I just have been having a hard time and it all sorta just exploded yesterday. I know it feels like I've been avoiding you and I sorta have been" Jay said looking away at Lonnie

"Is this about when I snuck up on you?" Lonnie asked "I shouldn't have done that"

"No, god Lonnie no it's not anything you did" Jay said taking her hands

"Please I need you to promise me that, that what I'm gonna tell you won't change what you think of me. I've been trying to forget the Isle and that wasn't working. Tomorrow we're gonna have you, Jane, Doug and Ben over and talk about the Isle. It's time you guys know why we are the way we are. I wasn't gonna talk about anything till then. Honestly I need the other three with me to do it but I do need to warn you its not warm and fuzzy stories" Jay said, hands shaking.

Jay saw Lonnie shiver and he wasn't sure if it was from the Spring chill in the air or if it was what he said but he shrugged out of his jacket and put it on her shoulders.

"I know you guys didn't have it easy" Lonnie said

"I don't think you have any idea how bad it was" Jay said

"I can take it Jay. I've wanted to know more since I went with you guys to fight Uma but I didn't want to scare you away. You were different after Cotillion but I didn't know how to ask about it" Lonnie admitted

"It's ok. I would've said everything was fine anyway" He said giving her a smirk

"You know I'm always here for you" Lonnie

"I do" Jay said nodding and closing his eyes

"Lonnie, please don't judge me differently" Jay said not making eye contact again.

Lonnie was smart she had her suspicions but she had never seen this side of Jay. She had seen him be cocky, a ladies man, a leader and super protective of his friends but she really had never seen him vulnerable.

She took both of Jay's hands in hers and tried to get him to make eye contact with her.

Lonnie felt like she had been waiting forever when she heard Jay take a sharp inhale and finally start to talk.

"I was abused Lonnie" Jay said finally finding his words. He couldn't meet her face so he looked past her.

She squeezed his hands, letting him know she was with him.

"Physically and emotionally. My father, Jafar, he well he would beat me if I didn't bring back a decent enough haul. Hell sometimes he beat me for the fun of it. There was a few times that he came within inches of taking my life. If Mal, Evie and Carlos hadn't come when they did. I...wouldn't have, he would've..." Jay said, tears over coming his voice

He finally looked up at Lonnie, she had tears streaming down her face but she never flinched, she never looked away. She was looking right at him. His biggest fear that she would run dissipated and when he made eye contact with her, the last bit of resolve left him. The tears started and he didn't know if they would ever stop.

"Can I hug you?" Lonnie asked, her own voice thick

Jay couldn't answer but he squeaked out a noise and Lonnie instantly had him in a hug. He froze at first but Lonnie kept tightly hugging him, he held her just as tight and cried.

Lonnie didn't let go, she couldn't imagine how much courage it took for Jay to tell her. She wasn't surprised based on how aggressive he can be and how he doesn't like physical contact but hearing someone actually say a parent abused them, she couldn't fathom it. She didn't know what to say, so she just hugged him.

"I'm glad you're here" Lonnie said, Jay just nodded against her shoulder

She had her hand on his back and one on the back of his head, holding him as tight as she could. She was running her hand up and down his back, trying to sooth him when he flinched.

"I'm sorry, I'm sorry did I hurt you?" Lonnie asked quickly pulling back, new tears forming

"No. I, I guess there's no use in hiding it" Jay said pulling back and wiping his eyes

"You ok?" Jay asked her "I didn't mean to make you cry" Jay said, feeling like he would never stop crying

"I'm ok. I just, my heart hurts for what you went through" Lonnie said

Jay nodded. "I flinched, there's this scar that I have, that I didn't want you to see, But since you felt it" Jay said trailing off

"Whatever you're comfortable with" Lonnie said

Jay stood up and lifted his shirt, revealing a six and a half inch scar running from his hip up the side of his torso.

Lonnie sharply inhaled and mentally kicked herself.

"It's old now" Jay said still staring at it.

"It's ok" Jay said seeing Lonnie scanning it to try and see how deep it was

Lonnie hesitantly put her shaking fingers up to it and ran her hand over it, shocked at how deep the scar went.

She looked like she was trying to form words and Jay placed his hand over hers on his side when he answered the question she couldn't get out.

"It involves protecting Evie and why I was late to get home and had a small haul needs Evie here since it's her story too but I took her home and stayed with her to protect her from the Evil Queen and when I returned home my father was livid. He tied me up for I'm not sure how long, didn't give me food or water. Kicked, hit, punched, threw things at me. I was half broken free when he pulled giant knife. It's part rope and part knife" Jay said shaking

Lonnie sat his back on the bench, she could tell he went to a bad place. She didn't touch him but she never broke eye contact once they sat.

"It was...I almost. Somehow, if they hadn't" Jay said stammering

"It's ok, tell me when you're ready"

"The night they found me, Carlos brought stuff he had stolen and offered to trade it to my father for me. Carlos told him it would open the barrier but that it didn't always work. He failed to mention that a few parts were missing. We had this clubhouse that somehow they got me back to. Evie's sewing skills were really perfected from stitching us up. My father literally took a pile of junk just so he wouldn't have to take care of my body. He made the three of them promise that if I died they wouldn't bring my body back to him to deal with" Jay said crying again

He looked down at his hands and started to cry again. He hadn't planned on telling her this much or crying but it all sorta just came out.

"Jay" Lonnie said gently, not wanting to touch him

"I begged Mal that night to never let my father near me again. I wanted to die that night, for some reason I made it through and I've been terrified of ever becoming my father since then" Jay said, ashamed

"From what it sounds like you are not Jafar" Lonnie said

"I'm scared of hurting you" Jay admitted as he continued to cry

"You won't" Lonnie said softly

"You don't know that. When I tackled you after you startled me, I saw the fear in your eyes, it was the same way I looked at my father and I can't hurt you" Jay said in between broken sobs

"I'm not good for you Lonnie, you deserve so much better. You deserve someone that you can have fun with, not someone that you're scared of. I can't hurt you, I would never forgive myself" Jay said walking away from the bench

"Jay" Lonnie said standing up but giving him space

Jay turned around and saw her standing there, right with him, with his jacket on. Tears streaming down her face because of his words. He wouldn't, he couldn't keep telling her more. He didn't know what love was but he knew that he needed to protect Lonnie from himself.

"Lon, you deserve better" Jay said

"So do you" Lonnie said closing the space between them

"I wouldn't forgive myself if I ever hurt you" He said looking down at his sneaker clad feet.

"I'm a big girl, why don't I tell you what I can and can't handle. I have fought pirates before" Lonnie said letting out a laugh

Jay smiled when she said that. She was badass, he really liked that about her.

He closed the rest of the distance between them and took her face in his hands and kissed her, hard. Tears still falling from both of their eyes, he kissed her, tongue darting into her mouth. She ran her hand through his hair and had her other on the front of his stomach.

He pulled back first, alarmed at what he had done.

"See you didn't hurt me" Lonnie said biting her bottom lip when she realized how nervous he was.

"You deserve someone that's not broken and messed up" Jay said creating more space between them

"I don't care if you're broken or messed up. You've been hurt Jay, you deserve so much more than that. I know it will take time to process everything that's happened to you" Lonnie said

"But what..." Jay said before Lonnie cut him off

"I'm gonna come hug you, ok?" Lonnie said

Jay nodded. Whenever she hugged him, he just wanted to cry

She walked over to him and hugged him and placed her cheek on his chest, over his heart.

He hugged her and put his head on top of hers.

"Thank you for trusting me enough" Lonnie said which sprung fresh tears in his eyes

"I don't know to do this. I think I need to get past being scared of hurting you. I don't know what love is Lon, I don't..." Jay stammered trying to get away from here, afraid of hurting her.

She clutched his t-shirt to keep his steady.

"You don't need to figure anything out tonight. I'm telling you that I'll wait until your ready, but I'll also help you put yourself back together" Lonnie said into his chest

"Thank you" He whispered

"Why don't I walk you back up to your room. You're shaking" Lonnie said

Jay was dazed and just nodded.

They walked back up to Jay's room and Lonnie fished his keys out of his jacket and then shrugged out of it to give back to him.

"Thank you for being honest with me" Lonnie said

Jay just nodded, the magnitude of the night hitting him

"You want me to stay?" Lonnie asked

"No, no it's ok. I'll see you tomorrow" Jay said

"Are the other three in here?" Lonnie asked, not wanting to leave him alone

"Yea" He said giving her a small smile

Lonnie nodded and unlocked his door and walked him in. The other three started at the two of them. Jay looked rough, he looked like he had all the wind knocked out of him

"What did you do to him?" Carlos asked Lonnie quietly

Now in the light she saw how tired and worn out Jay actually was. His clothes were messed up and his hair was coming out of the bun, although she thought that was from their kiss.

"Nothing, we just walked" Lonnie said getting a look in the mirror of her self with Jay's jacket half on, her hair messy.

"We'll see you tomorrow. We got him" Evie said hugging Lonnie, as Mal went to get Jay some water

"Lon, text me when you get to your room safely?" Jay called out

"Of course" Lonnie said walking out

Once the door was shut Carlos was the first to talk as he sat down next to Jay.

"Uh rough night?" Carlos asked smirking trying to cheer his friend up

"What? No you weirdo" Jay said coming out of his trance

"You totally kissed her didn't you?" Evie asked sitting on the other side of him

"Yea, after I told her I wasn't good for her" Jay said

"Oh no, what else did you tell her?" Mal asked

"She asked about this" Jay said pulling his shirt up and pointing to his side

"What did you say?" Carlos asked surprised Jay told her about that night

"I told her...I told her how I was abused" Jay said crumbling, face into hands.

"Oh Jay" Evie said

The other three hugged him and they sat that way for awhile while Jay processed everything he had told Lonnie that night.

* * *

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	7. Chapter 7

"That was really brave" Evie said sitting next to him, careful not to touch him.

"How'd she take it" Carlos asked

"She said she could handle it but she cried, I cried. I can't do that to her" Jay said "I told her that I'm broken and damaged and she deserves better than that"

"Maybe you should let her decide that. Yea she seemed upset but she brought you back, I think she wanted to stay but she knew we had you" Mal said

"Lonnie doesn't exactly need protecting Jay, she can take care of herself" Carlos said

"She even beats Carlos in Swords and Shields" Evie added

"Um she beat Jay too" Carlos said feigning insult

"Yea but I put up a better fight" Jay said giving his friends a small smile

"Sure you did" Carlos said smirking

"How do you feel after telling her?" Evie asked

"I almost feel worse" Jay said

"Why?" Mal asked

"I don't think she had any idea how bad it actually was. I think she suspected that my dad didn't treat me great but I don't think she ever dreamed how bad" Jay said sadly

"What do you mean?" Mal asked

"She also felt my scar. It just, I mean she's never seen that side of me" Jay said

"Your side scar?" Evie asked

Jay nodded. "I said I couldn't talk about it without you" He said to Evie

"It's ok, you can tell her when you're ready" Evie said

"You sure?" Jay asked

"Yea. It doesn't seem like she's backing down from you" Evie said

"She was shaking when she felt how deep it was" Jay admitted "I told her that if it wasn't for you guys getting me out of there...that. Well you know" jay said not being able to say the words again

"You took a big step tonight you should be proud of that" Carlos said

"I just hope I don't scare her away" Jay said

"It doesn't seem like she's gonna run" Evie said

"She looked as rough as you did" Mal said

Jay just shot her a look.

"You both looked rather disheveled" Carlos said smirking

"Dude seriously?" Jay said annoyed

"Um her lipgloss was smudged and her lips were a tiny bit swollen" Mal said smirking

"You both had a guilty look on your face" Evie said

"Guess he didn't warn her about the lip biting" Mal said laughing

"Seriously? Yea ok I kissed her. But it's the only one there will ever be" Jay said walking away from the other three, annoyed

"We're only kidding" Evie said realizing that they were upsetting him

"Why man?" Carlos asked

"Who tells someone they were abused their whole life, kisses them and tells them they don't know how to freaking feel anything" Jay practically yelled

"You're telling us you don't want to kiss her anymore?" Carlos asked

"No you idiot" Jay yelled "Of course I do" He said throwing the pillows off his bed and flopping down

Carlos flinched at the word idiot and Jay saw it out of the corner of his eye and mentally kicked himself, again no better than his father.

"C, I'm sorry" Jay said

"It's ok. You're frustrated. I get it" Carlos said

"I mean I made her cry with everything I said and it wasn't the worst of it. How can I possibly tell her the rest?" Jay asked softening

"Did you tell her that there's more?" Carlos asked

"Yea I told her that wasn't all of it" Jay said

"How'd she react?" Evie asked

"She said she could handle it" Jay said

"Jay, she saw the Isle, she's pretty smart, you really think that she didn't know some bad stuff happened over there. She hasn't run from you yet, you need to give her the chance" Mal said

"What are you really scared of?" Carlos asked him

"Hurting her" Jay said barely above a whisper

"I don't think that will happen. You've never hurt any of us before"

"It's different, you guys know what I used to be like. She doesn't" Jay said as his phone beeped

It was a text from Lonnie telling him she was in her room safely and asking him if he was ok.

"Dude what's it say?" Carlos prodded

"She said she's back and asked if I was ok. Can you text Jane and make sure that Lonnie is ok. Jane's her roommate she'll know if she's not" Jay said

"Jay" Carlos said not wanting to get in the middle

"Please Carlos" Jay practically begged

"Alright" Carlos said firing off a quick message to Jane

Jay didn't say anything until he heard Carlos's phone buzz and he grabbed it before Carlos could.

"Dude!" Carlos yelled as he tried to grab his phone from Jay

"Hey Carlos, I miss you too. Lonnie was upset when she came in but said that she was glad Jay finally opened up to her, and felt he could trust her enough. She says she's here for him no matter what he needs" Jay said mumbling

"Gimme that" Carlos said finally getting his phone from Jay

Before Carlos could read it, his phone buzzed again.

"Tell Jay not to worry, she know's he won't answer her tonight but she'll see him tomorrow" Jane's text said

"See you're predictable" Carlos said reading off the second text to Jay

"She seems ok to me" Evie said sitting on Jay's bed next to him

"Let her help you" Mal said

"I don't like feeling like this" Jay said

"Like what?" Evie prodded

"All weird" Jay said

"They're called emotions" Evie said giving him a small laugh

"Yea well, my insides feel like they want to come out. I don't know if I wanna laugh or cry at the fact that I told Lonnie about my father. I feel so...naked" Jay said trying to find the right words

"Again they are emotions" Evie said

"Well it's dumb" Jay said sitting up

"I think once you work through some of them you will feel a lot better" Mal said

"You know Carlos' dream where he's standing in the middle of the Tourney field butt naked?" Jay said

Carlos turned a deep shade of red and Mal and Evie exchanged glances

"Um no they don't because I only told you that!" Carlos said horrified

"Wait what?" Evie asked

"It's when I was first nervous to play" Carlos said tightly

"I'm sorry bro, I didn't know they didn't know" Jay said

"Well it's out now" Carlos said

"Jay it's called vulnerability. It's ok to feel that way, it's gonna happen sometimes" Evie said

"You remember how i bolted to the Isle?" Mal asked

"How could I forget" Jay deadpanned

"I felt like I was being smothered here, like I couldn't breath, like I was gonna explode if I didn't get some air. I was uncomfortable with being in the spotlight like that. I was scared i would let Ben down, I was being someone I wasn't and when I was myself I didn't think I fit it. And that vulnerability was eating me alive"

"You got through it though" Jay said

"Yea because of you guys. You gave me the space and then stepped in when I went off the deep end. We've given you space, let us step in and help you now. Remember you told me to go to Cotillion and if I still hated it you would personally take me back to the Isle?"

"Yea" Jay said nodding

"I never felt alone once I opened up to you guys. Once I admitted I was a mess, it made me feel so much better. You all made sure I wasn't alone. You don't have to go through this alone. You've been hurt Jay, more ways than one and we want to see you happy. But in order to get there, you need to deal with your past. I don't want it to keep hurting you" Mal said, tears forming

"I don't know how to let myself process all this" Jay said, voice growing thick

"Why not?" Evie said gently

"I'm scared" Jay admitted looking down

"It's ok to be scared" Mal said

"Being scared never got me anywhere" Jay said

"But you're safe here" Evie said

"You guys don't get it" Jay said annoyed

"Then tell us, you have too much hair for us to try and read your mind" Carlos said trying to lighten the mood

"I'm scared that if I bring it all up again, I'll never be able to forget it. That my dad wins, that I'm not capable of feeling anything but aggression and anger. That I'll hurt people around me..." That I won't ever be able to be happy like you guys" Jay finished, voice breaking with emotion

Evie and Mal both had tears and Carlos was trying to prevent his form forming.

"You're dad won't win, we promise we won't let that happen. You've always had our backs, let us have yours"

"I think once you start talking about everything, it will slowly get easier. You won't be hiding from it and it's sorta empowering to know you can move past it" Carlos said

"You'll be ok, we'll make sure of it" Mal said

"Do you still want to go through with tomorrow?" Evie asked

"I think so" Jay said

The four were tried and all moved to get ready for bed. Jay and Carlos were moving their beds together so that they could all share when Carlos asked about Lonnie.

"The girls can't hear us now, tell me the truth if you didn't think you were 'broken or damaged' would you have any hesitation kissing Lonnie or asking her out?" Carlos asked

"I would be nervous for her to say no, but not scared of hurting her" Jay said

"Then I think you need to go for it. Jane has helped me so much I can't even explain it. Maybe once you stop burying it all down you'll feel better. It worked for Mal, she kept it all hidden, exploded, turned into a dragon and now she's living her happily ever after" Carlos said

"Maybe" Jay said

"We're not our parents, Jay" Carlos said hugging him

Carlos expected his best friend to push him away but instead he hugged Carlos back.

"I think I'd rather be hugging Lonnie" Jay said

"Yea and I wish you were Jane" Carlos said smirking as they separated

"Can we talk more? I think I would get less emotional with just you than with the girls too" Jay said

"I can do that" Carlos said

"I do feel a little better" Jay said

"I just wish you would've told us sooner, so we could've helped you" Carlos said

"I thought if I ignored it, it would be fine"

"Yea and how'd that work for Mal?" Carlos asked laughing

"I see your point" Jay said finally laughing

Once they all got ready for bed, they climbed into the joint beds and slept the same way they used to like on the Isle. Jay and Mal bookended with Evie between Jay and Carlos and Carlos between Mal and Evie.

* * *

"I'm gonna be sick" Jay said as it got closer to 10am

"You got through last night, you can do this too" Carlos said handing Dude to Jay

Jay sat on the floor and just rubbed Dude's belly and then cuddled him to his face, instantly feeling better

There was a knock on the door and Mal opened it to reveal Jane and Lonnie holding a basket of chocolate chip cookies, muffins and fruit.

"Hey guys, come on it" Mal said

Jane went put the basket on the table and went to hug Carlos while Lonnie went over to pet Dude, figuring it was better to talk to the door and let Jay talk first.

"Hey Lonnie" Jay said quietly

"Hey" Lonnie said smiling sweetly at him

"Are""How" They both said at the same time

Jay blushed and told her to go first.

"I made some chocolate chip cookies, I brought you your own bag" Lonnie said pulling the bag out of her sweatshirt pouch

"Thank you" Jay said giving her an awkward high-five

"Um, thanks for coming today and for the cookies" Jay said

"Of course" Lonnie said

She looked around to make sure no one else was in ear shot.

"You doing ok?" Lonnie asked him but only looked at Dude

Jay was grateful that Lonnie knew better than to look at him when she asked that

"I'm ok. I don't know where all this stuff came from but it was slowly wearing me down" Jay said only looking at Dude

"You're trying now and that's the best thing" Lonnie said

"I'm more messed up than Mal was before Cotillion"

"Well then it's a good thing none of us are perfect"

"Yea but you guys all know how to put yourselves back together" Jay said

"Today is about you, but I will tell you about last year when Chad wouldn't let me on Swords and Shields. But you don't need to "fix" yourself Jay. I like you for you. Just because your sword gets a little dull doesn't mean you just throw it out. You sharpen it and polish it and it's shiny and new and stronger. You just need to take care of yourself a little and you'll be as good as new" Lonnie said putting her hand out for him

"Thank you" Jay said fully understanding what Lonnie was saying, grateful she used a metophor he could understand.

"Can...can I hug you?" Jay asked her

"You don't need to ask Jay" Lonnie said smiling

Jay sat up and pulled Lonnie into a hug.

* * *

I hope you all like it, don't forget to review. Kinda wondering if people are reading this or not! Next chapter will be the eight of them talking about the Isle. I'm excitied to write it!


	8. Chapter 8

Flashblacks are in italics! I am reporting this chapter because it was not showing that it was updated. I am not sure what the reason is for hardly anyone seeing it but my friend did say that the two newest chapters were not showing up so I hope this fixes it. Please let me know what you think it's really encouraging to get feedback!

* * *

Lonnie and Jay were in their own little world when Ben and Doug walked in.

"Hey guys" Ben greeted them

"Hey, I missed you" Doug said to Evie

"I missed you too, thank you for giving me some space" Evie said hugging him

"Of course" Doug said taking her hand

Mal and Evie had arranged pillows and blankets around the couches in the boys room and moved the table and chairs out of the way. This way they could all be together and be comfortable.

"Time to walk the plank I guess" Carlos said

"Just promise me..." Jay said before Lonnie interrupted him

"I promise it won't change anything" She said putting a hand on his cheek

"Thank you" Jay said

He wasn't sure if he wanted to sit next to Lonnie or not. He went and sat between Evie and Carlos, the new four sensed that the core four needed to be together and sat across from them.

"Ben, I don't want you to hate what you're gonna hear" Mal said taking his hand

"It's ok, I know who you are" Ben said kissing her

"Jane, if it's too much just tell me ok?" Carlos said a little nervous

"It's ok, I want to know. I think we all do" Jane said which just earned her a nod from Carlos

"God where do we ever start?" Mal said letting out a nervous laugh as she sat next to Evie

"Why don't you start with how you guys met" Ben said

"Seems like a good place" Evie said

"Well we met in what I guess you would call Kindergarten at Dragon Hall. It's school but sometimes we show up, sometimes we don't, sometimes the "teachers" do, sometimes they don't" Mal said

"You don't exactly start when you're six either, you kinda just show up" Jay added

"I started early because I had convinced my crazy mother I would get better at cleaning if I went. But I really just wanted to get out of the house" Carlos said

"My mother wasn't going to let me go because what prince would want a smart princess. But eventually one of the older girls told her that I would be able to learn more makeup tips from the older students"

"When you start at Dragon Hall, gangs form fairly quickly based on who has the more powerful parents. I guess it was Uma and me at the time. I didn't mind Uma at first but she said something about me being a dragon and baby and so I called her shrimpy and stole her half of a broken crayon"

"On the first day" Carlos added

"So your issues started right away?" Ben asked

"You could say that" Mal said nodding

"People didn't particularly like my father because he stole their stuff and sold it back for a higher price so no one really wanted to be friends with me, Uma tried recruiting me to be a pirate since Gil and I were actually what I guess you would call friends back then. But the pointy hat wasn't really my style so after Mal called Uma shrimpy I stepped in because Uma was about to smack the smile off her face and I kinda have had Mal's back ever since" Jay said

"My mother was always trying to kiss Maleficent's ass and get on her good side so in addition to learning makeup tips I was instructed to be friends with Mal"

"But my mother thought that the Evil Queen was a suck up and so I wasn't allowed to invite Evie to my birthday, which I really hope she's forgiven me for after all these years" Mal said taking Evie's hand.

"So where does Carlos fit in?" Jane asked

"Well no one new Cruella had a kid, I mean who would procreate with someone that nuts" Carlos said shuddering "So when I got to school and said who I was, everyone was shocked. No one really wanted to be in a gang with me because of my mother but then after Mal and Uma had it out, later that day we were in the sandbox and Uma threw sand on Mal so I messed with Uma's chair and she fell out of it. I knew I needed someone powerful to protect me and Mal was it. So I had to prove my loyalty and I did" Carlos said

"That's..." Ben said trying to find words

"Messed up" Doug said

Jane and Lonnie shot him a look and he instantly regretted his words

"Not exactly your typical first day of school" Mal said

"So we started causing trouble after school, it was us trying to outdo Uma, Harry and Gil. We fought them several times before we had to rescue Ben" Jay said

"I think we realized pretty early on that we needed each other to survive the Isle. At some point we started getting the Auardon channel and our parents always talked about plundering and overtaking it but we all kinda wanted to see what it would be like" Carlos said

"So you guys were friends long before you even knew what it was?" Lonnie asked

"We knew we liked being with each other better than being with out parents" Evie said pulling her feet under her

"How did your parents react?" Jane asked

"They didn't love that we actually cared about each other" Mal said

"My dad thought I would just constantly steal from them but I didn't, I couldn't. I tried but I felt weird about it. Which I now know is guilt" Jay said

"So you always stuck together?" Doug asked

"Pretty much yea" Evie said nodding

"Sometimes our parents took it too far" Jay said, a dark look crossing his face

"How so?" Ben asked gently

"I had it the easy in the parent department. Luckily for me my mother wouldn't do anything that could harm my physical appearance. She just used her words" Evie said

"Evie stop not you didn't. You mother locked you in a tower and starved you from the time you got your period until she deemed you pretty enough to come out" Jay said, hating when she down played what her mother did to her

"JAY!" Evie yelled

"It's true Evie" Jay said

"Yea I wasn't exactly sure I was gonna share all that" Evie said

She looked up to meet Doug and Ben who seemed a tad uncomfortable and looked at Lonnie and Jane who looked shocked but were trying to hide it.

Carlos and Jay didn't care when her and Mal talked about it, they shared everything with each other because they knew they were the only ones that cared.

"Evs, I'm sorry" Jay said gently reaching for her hand "You had it pretty rough too, it affected you. I don't like when you try and take downplay it"

Evie didn't say anything. Carlos and Mal were a little surprised that Jay said it, but knew he was trying to do the right thing.

"How, how old were you when she locked you away?" Doug said trying to find his words

"Twelve, almost thirteen" Evie said sadly

"Evs I was out of line, you don't have to share it" Jay said

"No, it's ok" Evie said shaking her, all anger at Jay disappearing

"She let these three see me because she knew Maleficent would say something if Mal complained too much. And she deemed Carlos and Jay not prince worthy enough to marry me so she had no problem with letting them in to see me. I'm just glad she let them in" Evie said

"Well I might have threatened her to let us see you" Jay said

"I told her I would start bringing my mother with us" Carlos said

"We knew how to get our own way" Mal said

"They would sneak me food..." Evie said tears forming

Jay put his arm around her and Carlos took her hand. Doug tried to move forward to her but she shook her head. She knew she needed to tell him but couldn't with him trying to hug her.

"My mother told me I was getting to fat and that no prince would ever love me so she locked me in the tower and would only bring me a few pieces of rotten potatoes every morning" Evie said shedding a few tears

Carlos handed her some tissues and put his hand on top of her's and Mal's. Jay glanced up to see that Lonnie had tears in her eyes but she caught Jay's eye and nodded.

"Jay and I eventually stole a loft that became our clubhouse, the only place we ever felt an ounce of safety" Mal said

"How do you steal a loft?" Ben asked shocked

"It was abandoned and I stole the keys and then Mal threatened the person I stole the keys from. You saw the loft Ben" Jay said

"The flying rocks sign?" Ben asked

"Yup" Carlos said

The other three AKs looked at each other confused but didn't say anything

"We knew we had to get Evie out of the tower and hide her somewhere she could get stronger" Jay said

"We fixed up the clubhouse and in a weak moment I demanded my mother to make the Evil Queen let us take Evie out" Mal said

"I had stolen a stockpile of food and then once we got her free I carried her to the clubhouse because she was too weak to walk, especially all the way to the top"

Evie squeezed Jay's hand and he gave her a small nod.

"Our parents didn't know about the clubhouse and we didn't want them finding out so we had to be careful" Mal said

"We found out that her mom was demanding we bring her back but..." Carlos said trailing off

"I knew I had to go home the way I left it, or I was scared she was gonna lock me up again" Evie said

"E?" Mal asked knowing what she was gonna say next.

"Doug, please. I don't know if you should hear this" Evie said, her teary eyes meeting his

"I'm ok, I'm here for you. I want to know" Doug said moving across from her

Evie closed her eyes and took a deep breath. "We came up with a cover story about learning new makeup techniques and fashion tips. I had Dizzy do my hair over. I finally looked and felt better but I knew I had to lose some weight before I went home. I started starving myself and purging" Evie said looking away from everyone

No one said anything so Evie continued. "All our parents were beginnning to wonder what happened to us and so I told Carlos to go home because Cruella already gave him more chores than any eleven year old should do and Mal had to go home because no one wants to piss of Maleficent and we were scared of her henchmen finding us. I told Jay to go..." Evie said looking at him

"She told me to go because she knew my dad was going to beat me" Jay said taking a deep breath.

"He abused me for as long as I can remember. I knew it was excessive but I thought it was normal for parents to hit there kids" Jay said looking down. He felt Lonnie slide closer to him and he put his right hand out for her left one.

"I told Lonnie that I was abused last night. It's something that in trying to forget about, has only made it harder and I've been having a hard time processing it all"

"Jay I had no idea" Ben said sadly

"I'm not the only one Ben" Jay said looking right at him. Ben nodded knowing he needed to get those kids away from their parents.

"I knew I couldn't leave Evie alone. We've all said we don't know what it's like to love someone or care about someone but I chose Evie over my dad and I knew what my punishment would be. Carlos had been stealing stuff for me but it wasn't as much or high quality. I had taught him pretty well but he usually would be the innocent one and I would then take the stuff when he distracted them. My father also hated when I didn't come home every night, I'm not sure why but he would hit me and stuff if I didn't steal enough or come home when he wanted" Jay said

"I didn't want Jay to get hurt because of me. I knew how much it affected him and I didn't want to be the cause of that but I was happy when he decided to stay. We stayed in the clubhouse for a few days until I look gaunt enough to go home" Evie said

_"Evie I'm not gonna leave you" Jay said annoyed at her pestering _

_"I sent Mal and Carlos away, why won't you just listen" Evie said annoyed after throwing up _

_"Because you're gonna get too weak again and then you won't make it back to your castle" Jay said _

_"I'm not gonna lose all the weight I gained back, just enough so my mother doesn't know I've been eating again"_

_"IT'S NOT HEALTHY" Jay yelled _

_"Yea well neither is two black eyes but your rocking that look" Evie said annoyed _

_"Whatever Evie" Jay said walking up to the railing in their clubhouse _

_"Why won't you just let me be?" Evie said sadly _

_"Because you're scared and it's my job to protect you guys" Jay said _

_"You can't protect me from her anymore than I can protect you from your dad hitting you" _

_Jay spun around so fast Evie thought he was going to fall over _

_"Yea you can't, not without eating" Jay said trying to let his anger go. He and Evie weren't actually mad at each other, they were mad at their situations and sometimes they took it out on each other _

_"At least if I go back now I have a better change of my mom not locking me in the tower" Evie said sadly _

_"Then let me go with you. If she wants to lock you up, I'll flirt with her and then tell her I'll lock you up and I'll figure out a way to make sure it's easy for you to slip in and out of" Jay said _

_"You don't have to flirt with my mother, I know how much you hate it" Evie said_

_"Well it's worth it if I can protect you" Jay said sitting down next to her _

_"What are you gonna do about your dad?" Evie asked sadly _

_"Lately he seems to beat me for anything so it's gonna happen one way or another, might as well be for a good reason" _

_"There's never a good reason to beat you" Evie said taking his hand _

_"Come on blueberry, one more round of the old berry leaves and that's it. You're too skinny already, you need some excess incase she won't feed you again" Jay said _

_He used to make fun of Evie for her blue hair by calling her the blueberry princess but along the way it kinda became her nickname among the four. _

_"Two more?" Evie asked _

_"No, you need some strength" _

_"Please" _

_"I don't want you to use this last one" _

_"Jay you know I have to" Evie said darkly _

_"And that's why I'm staying to make sure you're ok" Jay said _

_"I want out of all of this" Evie said putting her head on his shoulder as she chewed her leaves _

_"I do too" Jay said sadly taking her hand _

"Evie, I'm so sorry" Lonnie said

"Evie?" Doug said shakily

"Yea?" Evie answered, new tears forming

"Is that why?" Doug said before Evie answered

"Yea, it's why I had so much trouble eating when we got here" She said looking down

Lonnie wasn't surprised that Jay wanted to protect Evie, she knew he had to be able to feel in order for him to willingly put himself in danger to protect his friend.

"She should never have locked you away and starved you" Ben said

"Especailly over something so natural" Lonnie said

"How long were you up there before the other's found out?" Jane asked

"I think it was two and a half weeks. My mom wouldn't tell them where I was. Once Maleficent threatened my mother she told them where I was and let them see but she Jay finally got it out of her why she locked me away"

"I would like to never revisit your mother telling me that you needed a prince now more than ever so you could bear his children since it was time and you were now women enough to handle a prince" Jay said cringing Evie doing the same but also laughing at her mother's antics

"In Jay's defense he's fine with it, but the Evil Queen made everything dramatic" Mal said

"How did you get her to tell you?" Doug asked

"She's pretty vain so I just had to smirk at her and tell her she was the fairest of them all" Jay said looking anywhere but at Lonnie

"He did what he needed to do, for me" Evie said squeezing his hand, knowing what he was thinking

"Thought you didn't know how to be a team player?" Lonnie said smiling at him and gently kneeing his though with her knee

He smiled at her, grateful she was so accepting of the situation and put his hand on her knee while he held tightly onto Evie's hand

"Did you end up having to protect her?" Doug asked

Jay and Evie just nodded and Evie quietly whispered an I'm sorry to Jay.

_"Evie what is going on?" Jay said frantically running to her corner of the clubhouse_

_"I, I took a second leaf" Evie said as she started to cry and get sick once again_

_"WHY?" Jay yelled as he held her hair back_

_"I didn't want..." Evie said before reaching for the bucket again_

_Jay had only given her half a leaf, not that he told her that and now she had taken a full one so close to the half. No wonder she was so sick._

_"Evie" Jay said gently helping her to sit_

_"I just... I didn't want her to be disappointed in me" Evie said crying_

_Jay tied her long blue hair up into a bun that if Evie knew how bad it looked she would be horrified. He could do his own, usually one of the girls did it for him but she was pale and sweaty and he didn't know how long this would go on for. He pulled her into a bone crushing hug, knowing that it wouldn't likely comfort her at all._

_"Evie I should have told you I had given you only a half a leaf" Jay said_

_"I knew you stole the other half from me, but I ate it when you weren't looking" Evie said ashamed._

_"You took two whole leaves?!" Jay asked worriedly_

_Evie just mumbled as she climbed over Jay to get to the fresh bucket._

_"Evs" Jay said sympathetically_

_They all wanted to please their parents, like any other kid. Only when they didn't please their parents they took their punishments to the extreme._

_"It'll be ok" He said rubbing her back_

_"Make it stop. I'm...I'm sorry" Evie said before she crumpled to the floor_

_"I got you, ok. You're gonna be ok" Jay said hugging her again. He could feel her ribs and her spine and her pointy elbows had gotten even pointier._

_"Shh it's ok" Jay said as he held a sobbing Evie._

_He carried her to her makeshift bed and gently laid her down and covered her with a blanket and put a clean bucket next to her. He was about to walk away when he realized she had gripped the leg of his jeans._

_"Don't go anywhere?" Evie said in a shaky voice_

_"I won't I promise" Jay said laying down next to her._

_The next morning, it was early she had been feeling slightly better, Jay had managed to feed her some stale bread and water but she wasn't in a condition for the long walk up the stairs of the castle. He still wasn't really sure how the Evil Queen or Maleficent had managed to get such large castles but they did._

_"E, I really gotta get you back" Jay said as he made sure everything was put away_

_"I know" Evie said nodding and grabbing her backpack_

_"Maybe I can convince her to let you eat some every day. That way we can sneak you in food and she won't be as suspicious" Jay said_

_"I know you hate having to flirt with her" Evie said_

_"It's ok, if it means you're healthy"_

_They started the half hour walk to Evie's, they had made it about half way when Evie really started to lag behind Jay. He silently picked her up piggy back style and carried her the rest of the way to the castle. Evie knew she had to go up the stairs herself so they took a break at the bottom of the hill. She also was in no rush to go home._

_"I can make it, you really should go steal stuff so your dad doesn't hurt you" Evie said_

_"Carlos said he'd cover me once he got done his chores"_

_"Like he'll ever be done" Evie said sadly_

_"I know what I'm walking into" Jay said coldly_

_Jay stood and held his hand out and Evie put a good portion of her weight onto him. He gently helped her up the stairs and before they knew it the Evil Queen had flung open the heavy wooden doors. '_

_"My little Evilette, where in the world have you been?"_

_"Evil Queen" Jay said bowing slightly_

_"Hi mommy" Evie said_

_"You look puffy. Jay does she look puffy to you?"_

_"She looks like the second fairest of them all after you" Jay said in a sickeningly sweet voice._

_At least Evie might get fed after this performance._

_"Come dear, we really need to work on finding you a prince" The Evil Queen said_

_Evie rolled her eyes to Jay who just gave her a small reassuring nod._

_"I'm quite hungry mother" Evie said_

_"Excuse me" The Evil Queen yelled_

_"I just... I mean" Evie said stammering_

_"I think she means that she needs to keep her strength up to find a prince. I know someone more suitable than me would like a healthy appetite" Jay said trying to help her out_

_"Well what would you know" She said dismissing Jay_

_"He happens to get a lot of attention from the girls on the Isle mother" Evie said_

_"Really? Before or after he steals from them?"_

_Jay turned red and Evie looked horrified._

_"He's strong and muscley and tan and cute" Evie said looking at him hoping their plan would work_

_"Yes and he is not fit for a princess" The Evil Queen spat as a time went off_

_"Time for my beauty nap. Evie take yourself up to the tower" She said trailing off to her room "Jay take her stuff up for her"_

_"So it didn't completely not work" Evie whispered_

_"Isn't she gonna get pissed that you wanna date a thief's kid and not a prince?" Jay asked_

_"Probably but she won't want to see you, meaning I got Mal to start working on her mom and about why the four of us need to stick together so she'll sill have to let me see you and since she won't want to see you, I'll get to leave this tower" Evie said_

_"I need a map" Jay said trying to piece it all together_

_"It's fine ok. I appreciate you pretending to date me and walking me home"_

_"You're the closest thing I have to a sister, of course I'm gonna protect you" Jay said giving her a hug_

_Jay had been scoping out the easiest ways into and out of the tower when he heard the Evil queen call up for Evie to come down._

_"Stay?" Evie asked in a small voice_

_"of course" Jay said hiding in case she came up_

_A little while later Jay knew it was getting dark. He knew he was a dead man walking, his father was really gonna hurt him this time but he couldn't leave Evie._

_He heard the door open and Evie called out to him. He came out of his hiding spot and saw her tear stained face._

_"Evs?" Jay asked walking over to her_

_Evie laid on her bed and buried her head in her pillow._

_"Why did the Isle make me cry so much? I don't think I can take her insults any more" Evie said into her pillow_

_Jay sat on the edge of her bed next to her and tried to get her to roll over. He gently grabbed her arm and when he did he could practically wrap his whole hand around it._

_"You know whatever she said wasn't true" Jay said tightly_

_"I'll never be pretty enough or thin enough or have the perfectly plump lips or the right size nose or big enough boobs" Evie said crying_

_"You're beautiful Evie, I mean it" Jay said_

_"You're just saying that" Evie said rolling over to face him_

_"I'm not, I promise. If I didn't think of you as a sister and have known you from the time we were six I definitely would not stop flirting with you" Jay said_

_"Thank you" Evie said wiping her eyes_

_"I'll try to steal you some more makeup tomorrow to see if that appeases her" Jay said_

_"Thank you" Evie said hugging him_

_"I hid food for you in the back of the closet"_

_Before Evie could respond Mal and Carlos came in through the window._

_"Jay your dad is out of control looking for you" Mal said out of breath_

_"What do you mean?" Jay asked panicking_

_"He's tearing through the whole town trying to find you. He's pissed you've been gone so long" Mal said_

_"Here bro I did the best I could. I don't know if it'll be enough" Carlos said unloading his pockets_

_"It never is" Jay said darkly_

_"Jay I told you that you shouldn't have stayed" Evie said rummaging through her backpack to see what she could give him_

_"I'll be fine" Jay said_

_The other three all knew it was a lie._

_"Mal get the lamp out of the closet over there. Take it, and here take this" Evie said handing Jay a heart necklace_

_"Evie I can't"_

_"I don't really wear this one any more, it's fine"_

_"I better go" Jay said putting on a brave face_

_Jay had only been gone seconds when Mal decided to follow after him._

_"I'm coming too" Carlos said "You be ok by yourself?" He asked Evie_

_"You better get me if he needs to be patched up" Evie said_

_"We will" Mal said_

_"Hopefully it won't come to that" Carlos said_

_They all knew it was going to be a long night. Jay was getting tired or fighting his father, tired of the Isle and they only hoped that he had another night left in him._

* * *

_Jay walked into his father's shop and saw that the rug he used to sleep on was now for sale. "wasn't comfy anyway" he said to himself_

_"Dad, I'm back and I got some good stuff" Jay called out_

_"Where do you think you've been? I never said that you could just take off for days. Stealing doesn't happen by itself you know!" Jafar yelled_

_"YOU THINK YOU CAN JUST RUN AWAY FROM ME YOU LITLE INGRATE? AFTER ALL I'VE DONE FOR YOU? AFTER I MADE SURE YOU STOLE ENOUGH FOOD TO EAT AND HAD A RUG TO SLEEP ON. WHO ELSE WAS GOING TO TAKE CARE OF YOU? YOUR MOTHER? SHE LEFT YOU. SHE DIDN'T WANT ANYTHING TO DO WITH A WORTHLESS LITTLE SHIT LIKE YOU" Jafar yelled _

_Jay wanted to cry but he knew he couldn't. He swallowed his emotions and put on a brace face. _

_"I'm sorry dad. I lost track of time, I thought I was following a good lead but it turned out to be a bust" Jay said _

_"I know you were with those other kids, kids who you don't steal from even though you have the perfect opportunity!" "Jay there is no team in I. Maybe it's time you stop playing nice with your little gang of friends start thinking about helping your father. Think about stealing better quality items! You think you can do that you worthless..." Jarfar yelled before Jay just walked away from him. _

_Jay knew he shouldn't have, that it would only make things worse but he couldn't do it anymore. Before he even got to the door his father had grabbed his arms. Jay might have been more fit but Jafar could still overpower him. _

_"Now you'll have plenty of time to think about all the things you are going to steal from those little "friends" of yours" Jafar spat as he tied Jay up to the wall by his wrists. _

* * *

"Wow" Doug said

"You're parents really just yea wow" Jane said not being able to form a sentence

"Is that what you?" Lonnie asked Jay, fresh tears in her eyes

Jay closed his eyes and nodded. When he opened them he realized that Lonnie had placed chocolate chip cookies in front of him.

"I had no idea" Ben said letting a few tears fall. He had no idea his friends had been through this much. He had no idea how his father could have let this happen.

"Guys it gets worse" Carlos said

* * *

It's gonna get a little darker next chapter, I promise there will be a happy ending in the end. Let me know if you like the way I have the flashbacks in or if you want more dialogue from the present mixed in. Don't forget to review so I know you're reading!


	9. Chapter 9

I made the current parts in italics this time because the flashback was so much longer. i figured it would be better to read the shorter part in italics. Thanks for all the support! I think i worked out the update problem, I just have to do it from a different browser. Don't forget to review.

* * *

_"How much worse can it get?" Ben asked_

_Jay just scoffed and looked down_

_"This was about eightish months before we came here, it really wasn't good" Mal said_

Mal, Evie and Carlos didn't know what to do. They hadn't seen Jay in quite some time and they were getting really concerned. Every time they went to his dad's shop he just said Jay was out. They knew it was a lie. They just hoped they weren't too late. Mal had some power to intimidate but Jafar wasn't scared of her. Her mother didn't care that her little friend was missing so it was up to her and Evie and Carlos to find Jay. They weren't the best backup but it was the best she had to work with.

"Look, we really need to find him" Carlos said missing his best friend

"His dad said he had been "working" a lot but I mean even if he was stealing all the time we would still see him. He stopped going to school, no one has seen him in almost three months" Evie said

"We need to get inside" Mal said

"I already tried telling his dad I would look for him so we could go stealing. I don't think he's gonna let us in" Carlos said

"I climbed up to the shop window one night and peered in but I didn't see him. He always slept in there" Mal said

"We need a plan and we need one fast" Evie said

"What if we go in the middle of the night" Mal said

"And have Jafar catch us?" Carlos said alarmed

"You have any better ideas?" Mal spat

"Guys come on, we can't turn on each other" Evie said

"Ever since the rumors that some of the children might get to go across the bridge, our parents have been even worse" Mal said

"Yea all the more reason we have to get Jay out of there" Carlos said

"We knew you're lacking backup in the two of us" Evie said

"We don't have any other options" Mal said

"We could go to Uma" Carlos said

"Wanna try that again?" Mal said

"Uma, Gil, even Harry could give us the backup we need" Carlos said

"It's not a terrible idea. Maybe if I went. I ran into her at Dizzy's last week and we talked while we were there. She only holds a torch for you" Evie said

"Jay did turn her down though" Carlos said

"It's just the three of us. We're on our own to find him" Mal said

"Alright let's figure out what to do" Evie said

"I've been stealing stuff for him and stashing it up here, maybe if it's enough his dad will tell us where he is"

"That might work" Evie said

"One of us needs to get in and see where he actually is" Mal said

"I don't have a good feeling" Evie said

"Neither do I" Mal said

Carlos nodded knowing that they needed to find Jay sooner rather than later.

* * *

"Dad come on, let me go back to stealing stuff" Jay coughed out as he was chained to the wall.

He wasn't entirely sure how long he had been tied up but he knew it must be going on a decent amount of time at this point. His hands were shackled far apart way above his head. He wasn't sure the last time he had eaten and his father fed him enough water to barely let him live. He was convinced that this is what dying felt like and honestly it might not be the worst thing ever at this point.

"Oh now you want to do as I say" Jafar yelled as he kicked Jay in the ribs as he walked past.

Before Jay knew what was happened his father was adding a rope around his stomach. He bit back the bile in his throat and willed himself to not throw up or pass out.

"I've provided for you, I have fed you and given you things. I have given you a rug to sleep on. I have been in this shop for years with you and I tell you to start stealing more and to be home to be punished for not stealing enough and the thanks you give me is by running away for days on end!" Jafar yelled

"I said I was sorry" Jay said looking down

"Are you?" Jafar said

"Yea I am. I'll go back to stealing I promise" Jay said

"You hang around those other brats, you stop thinking of me!"

"Dad it's not" Jay said before Jafar slapped him across the face

"Don't you dare interrupt me. There is no team in I and here you are prancing around with group you aren't even the leader of. It makes you look weak and it makes me look weak"

Jay just sat there, willing himself not to cry and hoping that the other three would find a way to get to him.

"You think I'm just gonna let you run around the Isle and one day just up and disappear like that bitch of a mother that you always cried for when you were little. She left you, she got up and left. She didn't want you, she knew that you wouldn't amount to anything. She knew you were worthless. She was the lucky one. I've been stuck with you for fifteen years. She didn't want you so she left. I at least stayed!" Jafar yelled as he paced and kicked Jay on his way by

"I'm not worthless" Jay said in the smallest voice

"You are! You can't even steal enough to fill these shelves"

"I'm not!" Jay screamed as he tried to get the shackles off

"What do you think you're doing boy?" Jarfar said kicking him again

"I'm done. You wanna kill me, go for it. You don't think people have realized I've been missing. You wanna stock these shelves yourself then go for it. I'm done" Jay yelled

He instantly regretted trying to stand up for himself because his father pulled a knife on him. He had never seen it and really didn't want to know why he had been storing it all these years. As Jay kept trying to get free, Jafar took the blade from Jay's hip up the side of his body. Jay's whole body immediately went cold, he could feel himself starting to bleed and prayed that it would finally be the end. Jafar undid the rope and whipped his stomach with it. He then kicked him in the stomach and that's the last he remembered. He couldn't feel pain anymore and maybe it was for the best.

* * *

_Jay stopped talking. Honestly he didn't remember anything after that. He realized he was shaking and tears were streaming down his face. He couldn't move, but he couldn't stand to look at his friends anymore. He brought his knees up and draped his arms over them and buried his head down. He had never talked about that night with anyone else, the other three all knew what had happened. He instantly regretted telling their new friends about it._

_He was still crying, he couldn't hear anything that his friends were saying. He felt them near him, but he couldn't get away from them. He started flailing, needing to protect himself._

_"JAY, JAY" Carlos said yelling when he finally grabbed one of Jay's arms_

_Jay tried to shake Carlos off but he only held on tighter._

_"It's me, it's Carlos" He said gently_

_The rest of the seven of them all had tears streaming down their faces. Mal and Evie were trying to gently talk to him but he wasn't responding. He was furiously rubbing his side where the scar is and still trying to fight off Carlos._

_"Car...Carlos" Jay said in between sobs_

_"Yea buddy, you're safe ok" Carlos said still not letting go_

_"But he..." Jay said trailing off looking at his hands through his blurry eyes_

_"He's across on the Isle, you're in our dorm room. He can't get you here" Carlos said sounding stronger_

_Jay just nodded, his face crumpled and he started crying again._

_The three knew they couldn't hug him, it would only trigger his abuse if they surprised him._

_"Jay" Evie said voice wavering_

_He barely lifted his head in her direction._

_"We're gonna hug you know. You're safe" Evie said nodding_

_Jay put his head in his hands and cried the hardest he had probably since they had saved him that night. Evie was already on his left and pulled him to her as tightly as she could. Mal moved over to run her fingers through his hair and Carlos was on his right, not letting go on his arm._

_"You're safe ok" Evie said her tears mixing with his._

_Lonnie and Jane were hugging each other crying. Ben was visibly angry that his father had kept all this from him and Doug had moved to hug Lonnie and Jane._

_"Shh, you're safe. You can finally let go of it all" Mal said_

_"We got you bro" Carlos said wiping his own eyes_

_Carlos looked at Lonnie and Jane, he really hoped that Lonnie could handle Jay. She was clearly upset but she hadn't taken her eyes off Jay._

_Jay started gagging between him and Evie and they sat him up._

_"Breath, breath" Carlos eased_

_"You're in your dorm room ok" Evie said gently_

_Carlos looked at his best friend and he looked like he had been through hell and back. He only hoped that his could be the start to Jay's healing._

_Lonnie got up and got him some water and gently placed it in front of him and kissed the top of his head. Carlos smiled at her, knowing that gesture would go a long way in reassuring Jay._

_"I don't..."Jay said trailing off and sipping the water_

_"It's ok, you don't have to talk now" Mal said rubbing his back_

_He was slumped against his three best friends, while it hurt to tell everyone what happened, a part of him felt slightly better that it wasn't a secret he had to hide anymore. He could have Mal finally stop putting a spell on the scar and he didn't have to worry about it washing off in the lake._

_He clumsily tried to stand up._

_"easy, easy" Carlos said popping up with him_

_Jay slightly pulled his shorts down below his hip bone and pulled his shirt up on the side._

_"That's why I always have shirts on" He said shakily_

_Jane gasped. Doug looked horrified, Ben looked like he was gonna lose it any second and Lonnie, now seeing it in the light wanted to do nothing but kiss it and make it all better for him._

_Evie hated seeing his scar, knowing that she was part of the reason for it. Mal hated what Jafar did to her and Carlos, while he had seen Jay without his shirt just being in their room, hated how it was a constant reminder of what they all had been through._

_"We all, we all have scars from the Isle. Some just deeper than others" Jay said blinking quickly. He still had tears streaming down his face, but he couldn't help it. They just wouldn't stop._

_Ben walked up to him and gave him a hug._

_"I'm sorry. I had no idea things were so bad" Ben said_

_"Just promise me you'll never send me back there" Jay said, voice breaking_

_"I promise" Ben said nodding, trying to hide his own emotion_

_"Is that the worst?" Jane asked tentatively as Carlos let go of Jay and moved to hug her._

_"This story is probably the worst" Carlos said_

_Lonnie had walked over to Jay and Ben and when they broke apart Jay finally looked at her._

_"I'm sorry I couldn't tell you the whole thing last night" Jay said_

_"It's ok" Lonnie said "I'm just glad you're ok" She said, new tears forming_

_Jay reached his arms out and pulled her to him a little harder than he thought. But here was Lonnie, standing in front of him after hearing how he almost died and she wasn't backing down. She wanted to know more and was ok with who he was. When he pulled her in for a hug he buried his face between her shoulder and neck and sobbed. He hated that he was sobbing on her, but there were too many emotions flowing through his mind for him to figure it all out. Lonnie was surprised at the forcefulness of his pull but she instantly wrapped her arms around him and held his head to her shoulder as she ran her fingers up and down his back._

_Doug went over to Evie and hugged her._

_"I'm sorry" Evie said_

_"You have nothing to be sorry for. I wish you didn't have to go through that" Doug said_

_Ben went over to Mal and hugged her as tight as he could. "I wish I had known" He said_

_"I..Thank you" Jay said to Lonnie before stopping_

_"Hey I'm still here. You don't have to say anything ok" Lonnie soothed_

_She could feel Jay still shaking so she guided him over to the couch and sat him down._

_"Why don't we take a break" Carlos said sitting down on the other side of him_

_"No" Jay said quietly_

_"No?"_

_"I think it's better to get it all out now" Jay said quietly looking at Carlos_

_"Ok. Are you sure?"_

_Jay just nodded._

_"I can't have you sit next to me for this part" Jay said turning to Lonnie. She was a little surprised, not hurt just concerned. She squeezed his hand and stood up._

_"Do you want me to stay?" Lonnie asked not wanting to upset him_

_"Why would you leave now?" Jay asked getting annoyed_

_"I'm not planning on it. I just wanted to make sure you wanted me here for it" Lonnie said gently_

_Jay didn't say anything he only closed his eyes. Lonnie looked at Carlos who gave her a small nod and she went back to sitting with Doug and and Jane on the floor. Evie sat on the other side of Jay and Mal sat in Ben's lap on the floor with the others_

_"You sure?" Carlos asked him again_

_"I think so" Jay said_

_"You don't have to do it all in one day"_

_"I need to move on, I didn't know that I was still holding it all in" Jay said_

_"ok" Carlos said nodding_

_"I, I don't really remember much after that. He, if Carlos, Evie and Mal hadn't..." Jay said trailing off and looking up. He was pinching the back of his hand with the other, trying to get the tears to stop. Evie took his hand and he looked at her._

_"I'm sorry" Jay said, barely able to get the words out_

_"We found him in pretty bad shape" Evie said_

_"We should have figured out how to get him sooner" Mal said_

_"We knew what was happening, well maybe not the extent but we should've gotten him sooner" Carlos said looking down_

_"You guys... you guys saved my life that night" Jay said, voice cracking_

_"How bad?" Ben asked quietly_

_"I didn't think I was gonna make it, and...and honestly" Jay said putting his head in his hands "I was ok with it" Jay said crying again_

_Carlos hugged him, he couldn't imagine his life without his big brother, his best friend. Jay hugged Carlos back and put his head behind Carlos's back. He knew Carlos knew the extent, he figured Mal and Evie had figured out how dark he had been that night but he never expressed any of that to any of the AKs. He couldn't bear to look at them, especially Lonnie._

_Lonnie's heart broke that someone could treat Jay that way. While he might have went along with schemes in the beginning, she had learned how loyal and caring he was to his makeshift family. How supportive of her he was, how he worked to get her on the swords and shields team, all without breaking the rules. She couldn't imagine her life now without him, without his smile, his jokes or the way he smirked at her when he was trying to flit with her but couldn't quite admit he had feelings for her._

_"We honestly didn't know if he was gonna make it" Evie said_

_"I think the three of us selfishly willed him to be ok because we needed him, even if he just wanted out of it" Mal said reaching up to Jay's hand that was dangling over Carlos's shoulder._

_"How, how'd you get him out?" Lonnie asked_

_"You ok?" Mal quietly asked Jay_

_He nodded and sat up behind Carlos. He had only said it out loud once since being in Auardon one night to Carlos that he was ok had his dad killed him that night._

_Carlos and Evie didn't let go of him and Mal put her hand on top of Carlos's on top of Jay's._

_"We decided that I would just go over and demand to know where he was, flash the green eyes and see where it would get us. I walked into the shop, it was right before closing, a little after he usually demanded Jay back"_

* * *

"Where's Jay" Mal yelled as she stomped into the shop, green eyes firing

"You young lady cannot talk to me that way" Jarfar spat back

"Where is Jay" Mal demanded

"What do you want with that pathetic human life for anyway" Jafar asked

"Because" Mal said, carefully saying they were friends. She knew that would not help the situation

"He's busy"

"we both know that is a lie" Mal said

"He has a lot to make up for after being punished for the last three months"

"Well maybe we can help with that" Mal said "Carlos" Mal yelled

"Give us Jay, and you get all this stuff"

"That boy isn't worth all that" Jafar laughed

"I'm getting a much better deal"

"You give us Jay, and you never lay another hand on him again. We my mother finally rules again you will be sorry" Mal yelled

"Take him, he's probably dead anyway" Jarfar said laughing at everything Carlos gave him

Mal and Carlos looked at each other and ran up the stairs. Evie had climbed in through a window and they went up to meet her.

"Jay" Evie whispered

"Jay" Evie said looking around, trying to be quiet

Evie heard a small whimper and she picked the lock with her heart comb from her hair and opened it to see Jay shackled to the wall bleeding.

"Jay" she said gently, trying not to cry

"Hmm" Jay barely mumbled

"Jay, it's Evie. We're gonna get you out of here" She said quickly blinking her tears away

She heard Mal and Carlos stomp up the stairs and figured their plan worked

"He doesn't look good guys" Evie said as they ran over to her

"Jay, we got you ok" Mal said

"Hey buddy" Carlos said gently

"What are you still doing here, I told you to get rid of his body" Jafar yelled

"Well maybe unattached him from the wall and we will" Carlos said

"Jafar undid the locks and Jay's arms fell limp next to him.

"He's barely alive, don't you dare think you're gonna bring his body back to me. He's not my problem anymore" Jafar said walking away

"Hey Jay do you think you can walk?" Mal asked him

Carlos and Mal held their hands out to try and get him off the floor. He yelped as he tried to sit up.

"Easy, easy" Evie said

"Alright, alright we have to get him out of here" Carlos said

"Jay I think you're gonna have to walk" Mal said

"I'll carry him" Carlos said

Evie and Mal looked at Jay whose eyes went wide. Carlos was younger than them, Jay was easily bigger than him, they had no idea how he was gonna be able to carry him.

"I'll do what I have to do. He can't walk back to the clubhouse, he would do it for us" Carlos said wondering where this strength was coming from

Evie and Mal just nodded.

"Dude it's gonna hurt but we gotta get you up before you dad comes back" Carlos said

Jay just nodded and closed his eyes.

"Wait, wait we can't have him yelling again" Mal said taking off her glove.

"Open" Mal said

Jay opened his mouth and Mal shoved her glove in it.

"Evie go behind, Mal and I will take his sides. Jay, we're gonna get you out of here" Carlos said

Mal and Carlos planted their feet and got got Jay up with Evie's arms under his armpits

"Ok, easy. Just stand for a second ok" Carlos said

Jay leaned against Mal.

"Jay" Mal yelled

"What?" Evie asked wondering why Mal was freaking out

"You're bleeding, how'd we miss this?" Mal said panicking

Carlos and Evie looked where Mal was and saw the giant gash running up his side.

"Jay" Mal said taking on more of his weight

"Knife, hurt, doesn't now" Jay said out of breath

"What do we do?" Evie asked

"He needs more help than we can give him" Carlos said pressing his hand into Jay's side with a towel to try and stop the bleeding

"Alright let's get him out of here before Jafar changes his mind" Mal said

They decided to basket carry him down the narrow staircase and once they were outside and far enough away from Jafar's they would figure it out.

"I need a break" Mal said out of breath when they had walked down the street from Jay's

"We're gonna put you down ok" Carlos said

Jay just gave them a small nod and Evie sat first so they could prop Jay against her.

"You're gonna be ok" Evie said running her fingers through his hair

She stopped when she realized there was dried blood, not knowing if he had any cuts on his head.

"Evie go to Mother Gothels store and see what she has that we could use to patch him up and then go to Curl up and Dye and see if you can get anything will disinfect all of this" Mal said

"And hurry. We'll meet you at the clubhouse" Carlos said

Evie nodded, leaned Jay against the other two and took off.

"Ready?" Carlos asked Jay

"I can...I can walk" Jay mumbled

"No you can't, we got you" Carlos said

He stood up and then helped Mal get Jay up.

"I'm gonna put you on my back" Carlos said

Mal looked at him wide-eyed. While Jay had lost a significant amount of weight being locked up, he still towered over Carlos.

"We have no other options" Carlos said picking Jay up

He stumbled for a second under the weight and Jay yelped. Mal secured the towel to Jay's side and they walked as fast as they could to the clubhouse. Carlos had to stop and rest from time to time but overall they made.

They leaned Jay against the barrel that held the rocks to get up to the clubhouse.

"I need help" Carlos said, internally cursing that they were on the top floor.

Mal shoved the glove back in Jay's throat and he draped his arms over their shoulders. Once they got to the top Mal went in and cleared off her bed. Carlos still had Jay around his shoulders and was taking most of his weight, they got him over to the bed and Carlos laid him down. Jay hadn't made a sound since all of the jostling but they looked and saw fresh tears and a sweaty expression, knowing he was in pain.

"You're safe now ok" Carlos said needing to shed his leather jacket.

He went to stand up and Jay tugged on his arm.

"Ok, ok. I'm right here" Carlos said taking Jay's hand

"We have to get you cleaned up and stitched up ok" Mal said gently

They luckily had running water and lights. Sometimes they worked sometimes they didn't but thankfully tonight they did.

"I don't think he can make it through a shower" Carlos said looking Jay's half passed out form

"He really needs to shower, we need to know the extent of his injuries. He's all bloody, dirty and grimy" Mal said "It'll make him feel better"

"I'm back, I'm back" Evie said rushing into the room. It really made a difference all the food Jay had stashed away for her in the closet, she was able to keep her strength again.

"How's he doing?" Evie asked dumping the contents of her heart purse on the table

"Not good" Carlos said shaking his head

"He really hasn't said anything" Mal said

"Dizzy snuck me some of the stuff her grandmother gives her when she's annoying her too much. It should keep him calm while i sew his side up" Evie said

"Mal thinks he needs to shower first"

"Has most of the bleeding stopped" Evie asked

"Yea for the most part, although I'm not sure he has a lot left in his actual body" Carlos said

"He should get clean. When i went to run my fingers through his hair it had dried blood in it"

"Alright so we find his shorts in here and he wears them and we was him, It'll be fine" Mal said going over to his drawers

The four of them had slowly been leaving more and more of their stuff here since their parents had gotten worse.

"Dude you're gonna get a shower now" Carlos said walking over to him

"Too tired, can't" Jay said shallowly

"It'll make you feel better, w'll clean you up and Evie will stitch your side. You're gonna be ok" Carlos said sitting next to him

"Don't care, can't do it anymore" Jay said squeezing his eyes shut

"Jay come on, don't talk like that" Carlos said worried his own emotions would betray him

"Let me go, please" Jay said fresh tears falling

Mal and Evie heard the last part that Jay said. They knew they weren't supposed to so they didn't say anything. They could hear both of the boys crying but just kept working

"Jay, we need you. Let us clean you up and patch you up and let yourself heal"

"Don't need me, worthless" Jay said out of breath

"You're not worthless" Carlos said in the strongest voice he could manage given the fact his best friend just told him to let him die.

"I'll go and then you won't need worry about my body, everyone leaves me, my turn now" Jay said struggling to sit up

"And how are you gonna make it down the stairs?" Carlos asked

"Dunno" Jay said keeping his eyes shut

"I know it's bad, I know that none of us will ever know what you truly went through the last few months but Jay, come on. We've gotten through everything this far with each other. Just lean on us. You don't have to be the strong one right now" Carlos said blinking back tears

Jay just opened his eyes, giving Carlos the conformation that he wasn't going to leave.

"Can't stand, pain" Jay said

"Alright, so you'll just sit in the bin then.

It wasn't a tub, Carlos didn't know where Jay had gotten it from but their tub/shower looked more like a hose and mental basin that belonged outside. It was theirs and it worked and that's all that mattered.

"Let's get you up ok" Carlos said sitting Jay up

"Why don't we fill the tub, you get in clothes and all and then strip everything off if you can and then we'll cover you and change the water so it's clean" Evie said

"Fine" Jay said leaning on Carlos

After a lot of cursing and yelping they finally had Jay sitting in the bin.

"How's the water?" Mal asked him

"s'nice" Jay said, the warmth making him feel better

"Good" Mal said

"Do you want Carlos to stay in case you need help and Mal and I will get everything else?"

"I'll be fine" Jay said

"You sure?" Carlos asked

"Ok, so once you are stripped, pulled the drain plug and covered one of us will turn the water on and again and let it fill and then we'll help wash you" Evie said

"I can do it myself" Jay said angrily

"You're pretty dirty" Mal said

"There's no reason to hurt yourself more" Evie said

"Whatever" Jay said sinking into the warmth of the now dirty water

The other three walked over to the table to give Jay some privacy

Jay knew that he needed help to get lean. There was no way he could lift his arms to wash his hair and he knew it was gross. He didn't want to burden his friends or alarm them. He eventually got his shirt off with quite a bit of yelling and he was able to unbutton his jeans and get them to his kneed but he couldn't reach past that because of his side.

He screamed and all three came running

"What what" Evie asked

"Side, hurts. Pants only half off" Jay said leaning back

"God don't scare us like that" Mal said, heart racing

"Why don't you drain the tub, and then I'll get them off you"

"You just want a peak" Jay said lamely trying to make a joke

"Exactly" Evie said smirking at him, knowing he was joking to cover his pain

Jay did as he was told and Evie turned the water back on and turned around. The potion from Dizzy had really started to work and he felt his eyes closing. Once the water was surrounding him Evie called the others back in.

"You ok in there?" Evie asked him

"Yea i think so, just stings" Jay said

"Ok, let me start with your hair" Evie said

She gently wet it and worked the shampoo in it. Careful of the cuts and bruises that his hair was hiding.

"Sorry, sorry" Evie said as Jay hissed on a cut she had missed

She gently massaged his head as she went and she could feel him slightly relaxing. She rinsed all the shampoo out and put her condition in next.

"You don't have to do all that" Jay said feeling too vulnerable

"Please let me" Evie said gently

Jay just closed his eyes, he was getting uncomfortable again and just wanted to lay down

Evie continued to get all the knots out of his hair and he did relax under her gentle massage.

"Thanks Evs" Jay said

"Of course" Evie said handing him soap

"You think you can manage?"

"Yea" Jay said knowing even if he couldn't he wasn't gonna allow his friends to bathe him like a baby

"Please tell us if you need help. Maybe one of us should stay with you" Evie said

"Evs please. I need some dignity" Jay said

"Ok" Evie said walking out

She was pacing around and as were Mal and Carlos.

"What are we gonna do for him?" Mal asked

"I don't know" Evie said shaking her head

"It's not easy being abused by a parent" Carlos said

"Maybe you should talk to him, physically you're the only one that knows what he's going through"

"I'm gonna go check on him it's been awhile" Evie said

"Give him a second, he hasn't bathed in three months" Carlos said

"I don't want him to think we left him alone" Evie said

"Alright" Carlos said

Before Evie even walked into the room she could hear him crying.

"Go away" Jay yelled with as much strength as he could muster

"Jay" Evie said gently

"Evie please, I don't want you guys seeing me this way" Jay said through his tears

"You want Mal?" Evie asked

"NO, just leave me alone"

"Fine then you're getting Carlos" Evie said walking back to the others

"C he's crying. He won't let me and Mal in" Evie said squeezing Carlos's arm

"Ok" Carlos said nodding

He knew that they should give him some space, he would cry in the shower because then his tears would mix with water and no one would know. You couldn't survive on the Isle if you went around crying.

"Hey bro" Carlos said walking in

"Just go away" Jay groaned

"Yea the blueberry out there is a little worried so if I go out there without you I will be dog food" Carlos said

"She's overreacting" Jay said

"Jay, she's not" Carlos said

"I'm fine"

"A few hours ago you told us to leave you there to die. We're all worried" Carlos said leaning agains the wall

"I just wish you would all stop fussing over me. You guys used to look at me to protect you. Now you think I need help getting washed" Jay said looking down

"Mal and Evie mean well, they just don't get it. They've never had a parent hit them" Carlos said "You need us right now, that's fine to need us" Carlos said

"Carlos just stop" Jay said annoyed

"Alright well you're gonna look like one of Uma's groupies if you don't get out of there soon. Are you all clean?"

"I think so" Jay said grateful that Carlos dropped it

"You need any help getting out of there?" Carlos asked

"No I'm fine" Jay said annoyed again

Carlos nodded and walked out. Jay sat there and thought about how his friends were only trying to help him and he couldn't even treat them nicely. He was fine, he wanted them all to leave him alone. He couldn't be a burden to them"

He put his arms on the ledge and tried to get up but he couldn't even push himself up without searing pain running through his body.

Carlos heard Jay yell and ran back into the room to see his head in his hands and him panting.

"Jay?" Carlos asked worriedly

"i can't even get myself out of here. What kind of worthless life am I?" Jay yelled at him

"Look at me" Carlos said more forcefully than he meant to

Jay's head snapped up and Carlos saw the fear and hurt in his eyes.

"You are not worthless, not to the three of us" Carlos said

"My arms, I can't" Jay said trailing off ashamed

"You're injured pretty bad, let us help you instead of causing more pain" Carlos said

Carlos grabbed a towel and put it on the edge carful not to drop in in the water.

"Why don't I lift you from your armpits and then you get your legs out and then put the towel around. I'll close my eyes" Carlos said

"OK" Jay said

Carlos hooked his arms around Jay and got him standing. There was a lot of muffled grunts and moans coming from Jay. Carlos squeezed his eyes as tight as he could. He had never seen his best friend like this and he never wanted to ever again.

"I'm up" Jay said through gritted teeth

"You think you can get over the side" Carlos asked

"Yea, I think I gotta lay down dude" Jay said swaying

"Alright, hold still let me move to the side and then you get out ok?" Carlos said

"Yea" Jay said leaning against Carlos

"Ahhhh" Jay said as he tried to lift the cup up hip

"Whoa, whoa" Carlos said taking most of his weight so he didn't fall

"I..I can't do it" Jay said putting his head down as Mal and Evie ran in.

"What, What?" They both yelled

"Hip" Carlos said gesturing his head to the cut. Carlos knew Jay would be less than thrilled if he told the girls how much pain he was in

"What can we do to help?" Evie said putting a hand on Jay's shoulder

The small, gentle touch made him instantly try and shrug off of Evie's touch. Carlos tightened his arms around him so he did't fall.

"Jay...I...Did I hurt you?" Evie said, tears springing to her eyes and jumping back from Jay

"I'm sorry" He said quietly putting his head back down

"I am, I shouldn't have touched you" Evie said still standing away from Jay

"You're safe now" Mal said gently blinking back her own tears

"I'm sorry" Jay said not meeting his friends eyes

"You have nothing to be sorry for Jay. You were hurt, it's ok to not be ok" Evie said

Carlos saw the dark look that went across Jay's eyes. He knew he was in pain mentally and physically and if it was him standing in a towel would not be helping matters.

"Jay the three of us are gonna get you out ok"

"Yea" He said inhaling and wincing

"Mal take his other side and Evs you're gonna have to lift his legs" Carlos directed

"This is gonna hurt bro, I'm sorry" Carlos said

"Just...Just get me out" Jay said turning a deep shade of red

They three managed to get him out with out some minor yelping and grimacing. By the time they got him to the bed he was sweaty and panting. They laid him down and covered him with a blanket.

"I'll help you, you don't need to ask" Carlos said

"I feel sick" Jay said

"You need a bucket?" Carlos asked slightly concerned

"My heads spinning and my stomach is churning but it's just the pain. And shame" Jay said

"Nothing to be ashamed about. Now let's get you dressed" Carlos said

Jay didn't have the energy to protest that he was fine. He just laid there Carlos folded the blanket up so it was only covering his lower front. Carlos slid his red and gold boxers on didn't move the blanket until Jay told him to.

"You want shorts?" Carlos asked

"It's fine, Evie literally makes our boxers" Jay said

One night Cruella had beaten Carlos pretty bad with a whip that he had to sleep on his stomach butt naked. Jay was the only one here that night, after he went to get Carlos since no one had seen him for a few days. Jay had found him locked in a closet, bloody, traumatized and his clothes torn. They hadn't discussed the fact that Jay had to help him shower and put antiseptic on his back and butt or that Carlos couldn't sleep in any clothes. He thought Jay being the one to see him like that would be worse than the girls but the girls would have treated him like a sad puppy and pity him. He didn't give Jay any pity, he knew that would only make him feel worse but his heart was breaking seeing Jay so broken. Jay had taken some of Cruella's beatings when Carlos couldn't take anymore, he had seen Jay pretty beat up but never like this.

"Evie has to stitch you up ok" Carlos said

"Can't you do it?" Jay asked

He knew he had freaked Evie out when she went to touch his shoulder. He saw the way she teared up every time she looked at him. He knew Carlos' stomach sank every time he looked at him but at least he kept his emotions in check unlike the girls.

"I think Evie should do it, it's deep and long. She has a cleaner stitch" Carlos said

"I can't stand the look she keeps giving me" Jay said

"She cares about you" Carlos said when Jay didn't say anything Carlos added a joke. "I'll tell her to fix her face"

Jay gave him the best smirk he could manage, which wasn't much.

"How much is this gonna hurt?" Jay asked

"I'll get you a puke bucket" Carlos said

Jay didn't need to be told this was going to feel worse than it actually happening but he still held out a small sliver of hope that he would wake up from this nightmare.

Carlos went to get the girls and told them to at least try to keep their emotions in check.

"We have everything?" Mal asked

"Yea you have a clean rag to put in his mouth?" Carlos asked

Mal nodded

"Ok. We can do this" Evie said

As soon as Evie walked over to the bed she could see Jay's mind was going a mile a minute trying to escape.

"We're all here for you" Mal said sitting at his head

Evie climbed on the bed, carful not to jostle him and settled at his left side. It was still bleeding and how he hadn't bled out yet was beyond her.

"Do you want to do the little ones first?" Carlos asked

"No, big one first. Maybe I can pass out quickly and she can finish it" Jay said gritting his teeth

"I love you, and I'm sorry" Evie said trying to get rid of all the emotion in her voice

"I love you too" Jay said

He wasn't sure when they all started saying it, he thinks Evie got it in some magazine that Auradon had sent over with the trash. He didn't know what love was but whenever one of them told him they loved him or when he said it to them it always made him feel slightly better.

"Open" Mal said rubbing his cheek gently

"I'm gonna hold your shoulders down so you don't move, ok. Do something if you think you're gonna puke so you don't choke on it" Carlos said

"Got it" Jay said before Mal put the rag in his mouth

"Get him a cold cloth for the back of his neck and to put on his forehead, it should help" Evie said

"I got it" Carlos said

Mal kept gently running her thumb on his cheek as it seemed to relax him a little.

Carlos put the one cold rag on the back of Jay's neck and the other on his forehead.

"Wait" Evie said

"What" Carlos said worried he hurt Jay

"Mal brush his hair out first"

Mal figured it didn't matter but she wasn't going to argue with Evie so Mal brushed it the best she could and she could see Jay's eyes starting to close.

"Jay I'm gonna start ok" Evie said gently

"I'm just gonna put my hand above the top of the cut, you're all bruised and I want to make sure your ribs are aligned" Evie said

"Kay" Jay said

Evie gently put her hand on the dark blueish purple area and did not feel anything out of place.

"Bruised, maybe cracked but I don't think anything is broken on this side" Evie said

Jay knew he had bruises and cuts of varying severity and age and he had never felt more vulnerable than he did now.

"This is gonna sting, but we need to make sure it doesn't get infected" Evie said

Jay wanted to laughing at the we part. As soon as his head stopped spinning and he could walk he was out of there. He wasn't going to burden his friends.

Evie looked and Mal and Carlos. Mal put the cold rag directly over Jay's eyes so he couldn't see what was happening or see Evie if she starts to cry.

"Here we go" Carlos said tightening his grip on Jay's shoulders.

Mal kissed the top of Jay's head and held it in her hands.

"I'm so sorry" Evie said as she put the antiseptic on the knife wound.

"AHHHHHHH" Jay yelled. It was hardly even muffled by the rag in his mouth.

"It's ok, it's ok" Mal tried to sooth

"Just think of that time you stole Hook's hook" Carlos said knowing how proud of himself Jay was

Evie worked as quickly as she could up the wound but still careful to make sure she cleaned the whole area. Jay knew he had to watch the yelling, that if he yelled it was bring attention up to them and that was the last thing they needed.

"All clean" Evie said letting out a breath she didn't know she was holding

"tha...thanks" Jay said shivering

He was sweaty and cold and he wanted all of this to end

"If you need me to stop let me know" Evie said picking up the sutures.

"You can do this" Carlos said

Mal wasn't sure if he was talking to Jay, Evie or himself to keep Jay still

Evie started the sutures. Auradon sent medical supplies every few months and well luckily Jay was pretty good at stealing the stuff. Stitching her friends up always made her super queasy but she had the steadiest and neatest hands so she sucked it up for them. She put the first part through his skin and Carlos saw her fighting back a gag all while putting more pressure to keep Jay still.

"Shh" Mal said running her fingers through his hair

Jay was screaming and fighting agains them. Carlos was now kneeling on the bed full weight into Jay's shoulders to keep him still.

Evie weaved the stitches through the bottom half of the cut before Jay grabbed onto Carlos's shoulders and tried to turn over

"Bucket, bucket" Mal yelled

Carlos grabbed the bucket and Mal and Evie turned him on his right side. Jay got sick into the bucket and tried to find his will to live.

"It's ok, it's ok" Mal soothed running her fingers through his hair

"I'm just gonna rub youre back" Evie said gently running her long nails up and down his back.

Carlos stayed where he was with the bucket since some of Jay's weight was leaning against him

Jay waved his hand and Carlos took that as the cue he was done. They kept him propped up and let him rinse his mouth out.

Jay laid back down and he couldn't control the convulsing sobbing or shaking that his body was currently experiencing.

"I...I can't do this anymore" Jay said crying

"You're doing great" Mal said dabbing the cold cloth on his face

"I can't go through this again" Jay said in between his sobs "Prom...promise me that you...you won't let...let him do this to me...again" Jay said sobbing

The other three's hearts all broke. They felt things they had never felt before. Jay had barely told them what happened, they couldn't imagine how bad it had to be for him to be so hurt.

"We promise" Mal said tightly, trying to hide the emotion in her voice

They all hugged him, careful on his half stitched side and let him cry.

* * *

I hope you all enjoyed this chapter! I know it's dark and Jay is overly vulnerable but I promise it will get sweeter! Don't forget to review please!


	10. Chapter 10

"We'll do whatever we have to in order to protect you from him" Mal said

"Jay I really need to finish stitching you up" Evie said

"Ok" Jay said weakly

"You're doing great big guy" Carlos said

Mal went back to his head and was gently running her fingers through his head and Carlos went back to the side to try and keep him still and Evie hovered over the wound.

"I'm gonna start again" Evie said

Jay closed his eyes and Mal put the rag in his mouth and the cold cloth back on before she went back to massaging his head.

"You're doing great. You'll be back stealing in no time" Evie said trying to get him to think of something other than the pain he was trying not to scream through

"You're almost done, you're almost done" Carlos said

Jay started twitching weird and Carlos grabbed the bucket, Evie stopped and Mal took the ran out of his mouth.

"Easy, easy" Mal said as Jay threw up again.

"It's ok" Carlos said trying not to gag

Jay gagged again but nothing was left. He laid back down and just willed his body to pass out.

"More, more medicine" He barely got out

"I can't, I'm so sorry. Dizzy said no more than three a day and I want to give you one to sleep tonight" Evie said

"Kay" Jay said knowing Evie would if she could

"You're almost done" Evie said wiping the blood that had oozed out when he got sick.

"You need to rinse again before I put the rag back in?" Carlos asked him

"Yea" Jay said weakly

Once they got ready to start again Mal leaned her face over his and kept making funny faces at him. Jay just rolled his eyes but winced because that was not helping his headache.

Evie worked as quickly as she could and tied off the stitch, wiped it down again and put gauze over it.

"Shit" Jay said once they took the rag out of his mouth

"Dude no one can question how tough you are" Carlos said ignoring the tears that were on Jay's face.

"I'm sorry" Evie said laying next to him

"Thank you" Jay said

"We need to do the rest. I will not let you get an infection" Evie said

"Go for it" Jay said weakly

They gave him a second to lay there and they took in his appearance. They could tell he had easily lost fifteen pounds. He was scrawnier than the last time they saw him and they could see all the bruises and cuts Jafar had inflicted on his teenage son. Evie looked in his eyes and they were just cold. They no longer had the spark that made him Jay.

"We don't have ice, but go wet a towel and put it in the fridge" Evie said

Mal went and did as Evie said and she went to wash her hands to do the next set of cuts. She really had hoped he would've passed out from the knife wound but somehow he hadn't.

"That was badass" Carlos said wiping the cold rag around his face

Jay didn't say anything but he was shivering so Carlos put the blanket over him.

"It's normal to have the chills when you're in this much pain. I'm sure Evie will wash your hair again when we're all done" Carlos said

"Dude you need to get me out of here" Jay said through his shivers

"I already told you no" Carlos said

"I can't keep...making you guys do this"

"How many times has Evie had to stitch me up?" Carlos asked

Jay just shrugged. "You wanna leave Jafar go for it, but don't leave us" Carlos said

"I'm not worth the trouble" Jay said trying to turn his face away from Carlos

"Jay if you weren't worth it we wouldn't have gotten you from your dad. You are worth it so cut it out with that crap" Carlos said

"I'm not"

"You have to know whatever Jafar said to you is bullshit and that he just wanted to hurt you. You mean something to us, I wish you would believe me"

"He just kept telling me how worthless I am, how my mom left because I was worthless and how I'm a burden" Jay said, fresh tears in his eyes.

"And me, your best friend is telling you that none of it is true" Carlos said putting a hand on his shoulder

Jay didn't say anything so Carlos kept going.

"Why don't you let yourself heal and then decide what you want to do"

"Fine" Jay said turning his head away from Carlos

"I'll be right back" Carlos said

He went over to Evie and Mal and shook his head clear.

"What?" Mal asked

"He wants to leave, he thinks he's a burden to his. He's moody and emotional and angry and hurt and the littlest thing sets him off. I'm worried he will try to take off before he can walk" Carlos said

"He can't. He's not a burden to us" Evie said

"We need him just as much as he needs us" Mal said

"I told him that" Carlos said

"Let's get him all fixed up, washed again and then have him get some sleep. Maybe he'll feel better in the morning" Mal said

They went back over to Jay and Mal took the other set of stitches from Evie and started on the cut on his shoulder. Evie moved to the one on his stomach and Carlos just tried to talk to him.

"So who are you gonna go steal from next?" Carlos asked and he grimaced as the girls stitched him up

"Carlos just stop" Jay said annoyed

"So what do you want to eat after we finish?" Mal asked him

"God just stop!" Jay yelled

"You got dealt crap hand but that doesn't mean you can take it out of us. We just want to help you" Carlos yelled, giving him some tough love.

Evie and Mal looked at each other and figured Jay was going to explode but surprisingly he just shut up.

"Ok I think all your front cuts are stitched and cleaned" Evie said looking at one on his thigh

"I think this one is fine" Evie said

"Are there any other's covered by your boxers?" Mal asked

"I don't think so" Jay said

"Can you just lift the legs to make sure" Evie said gently

Jay pulled the legs of his shorts up feeling utterly exposed, the girls didn't fuss at him so he figured he must have been ok.

"Just some bruising" Evie said

"Alright, let me roll you over so they can look at your back" Carlos said

"I'm fine" Jay said

"No you're not" Mal deadpanned

"It's almost done"

"It's humiliating" Jay said

No one said anything. Carlos knew it was humiliating and the girls knew nothing they say could help

"I don't know if I can lay on my stomach" Jay said

"Why don't I put a pillow under your side" Mal said gently

"Fine" Jay said. He hadn't seen his back but judging how much it hurt he knew he had some serious bruises back there.

"Easy" Carlos said helping him roll over

Evie inhaled sharply finally getting a good look at this back. Almost the whole thing was varying shades of purple, dark blue and green.

"Bad?" Jay asked

"It looks painful" Carlos said

"I'm fine" Jay said

"uh-huh" Mal said taking more disinfectant from Evie

"Does your shoulder hurt?" Carlos asked him see how bruised the back of it was.

"Yea the left one is the one that prevent me from pushing myself up" Jay said knowing there was no use in lying to his friends

"I think it might be dislocated bro" Carlos said

"How do you even know" Jay said rolling his eyes

"Cause it doesn't look right" Carlos deadpanned

"Alright you know this going to sting" Evie said

"Just hurry up" Jay said

Mal and Evie worked as quick as they could. Evie finally reached a larger cut on his back that went down past his shorts.

"Jay can I?" Evie said lightly grazing her fingers on the bruise next to it.

"No it's fine" Jay said tightly

"Jay" Mal said

"Fine whatever, make me feel worse" Jay spat

"Jay we're just trying to help you" Evie said gently

"Then just leave me alone already" Jay yelled

"Jay" Mal said gently

"What Mal? What? You never had to lay here and have your friends stare at your naked, battered body. Or have them tell you that it's ok when nothing about this is ok or normal. So just please for the love of god Mal shut the hell up" Jay yelled

Mal didn't say anything. She was angry about Jay so she couldn't imagine how Jay was feeling. If he needed to take it out on someone she could handle it.

"Just let Evie see your ass" Carlos said

"Just everyone get away from me" Jay said shaking

"Jay" Carlos eased

"Go away Carlos!" Jay yelled

Carlos put his hands up in surrender and got off the bed, Mal and Evie doing the same. They started to walk out of the room when Jay yelled again.

"Fine, leave me like everyone else does. Just leave me because I'm worthless and useless and just get away from me!" Jay said, voice cracking with emotion.

"Jay we aren't leaving you. We were giving you space. That's what we thought you wanted. Tell me what you want us to do" Carlos said trying to keep his voice even.

Mal and Evie willed themselves not to cry.

"I DON'T KNOW!" Jay yelled

"I don't know what you want us to do either. You wanna be pissed, you can be pissed at us we all can take it. You wanna hate the world and your situation go for it. But don't tell us we're leaving you when you were gonna scram as soon as you could walk on your own. You're hurt, you're angry and you don't know what to do. It's fine we can handle all that but don't tell us that we're leaving you because we're not. We're all we got and we need to stick together" Carlos said forcefully

"Promise me it'll get better" Jay said, tough exterior fading again.

"You know we will do everything we can" Mal said

"Why don't we finish cleaning you up, get some food in your belly and then you can sleep" Evie said gently

"I haven't eaten a lot lately" Jay admitted

"That's why we have been saving food for you" Evie said

They could see how thin he had gotten, his face was sunken, he lost muscle. He didn't look the Jay they had seen a few months prior.

"The cut...the cut that goes down to my butt. I don't know how I even got it. I don't know what caused most of them" Jay said

They didn't know what to say, they knew they couldn't make him feel better so they just nodded.

"Alright dude, let the girls finish and then you're done ok" Carlos said

"Fine" Jay said

"I'm gonna pull them down just enough, ok" Evie said

"It's just humiliating" Jay said quietly

"You remember that time I was trying to intimidate Uma at school? I flirted with Harry just to see what he would do, just do piss Uma off?" Mal asked trying to distract him

"Yea, you face-planted in the hallway. How could we forget" Jay said smirking

"You guys laughed. Uma accused me of trying to step into her territory but Harry knew I was just trying to get him in trouble with Uma. It was pretty embarrassing" Mal said

"Your eyes flared green nonstop" Jay said giving her a small smile. He knew she was trying to make him feel better and he appreciated it.

"The floor was wet, I slipped" Mal said laughing

"No one else slipped" Carlos said laughing

"Thank you" Jay said as Mal finished disinfecting the middle of his back

"Remember the time Gils brothers shoved me into the broken locker?" Carlos asked

"I remember having to stitch your arm up" Evie said not looking up from where she was stitching Jay up

"I got you out of the locker" Jay said "You wouldn't let me put you down"

"Yea it was embarrassing how tiny I was. They told me I belonged in the girls bathroom because my dick was so tiny" Carlos said cringing

"I also remember Evie telling them that it was the best night of her life" Mal said laughing

"You still owe me for covering you" Evie said looking at Carlos

"Even if it was in no way true it definitely helped. You're a babe Evie, guys like you"

"I know my way around a flirt" She said smirking

"You were a lot of work you know" Jay said to Carlos

"How's that?" Carlos asked wondering where this was going

"You were always getting shoved places, or tormented. You were just small and severely malnourished. Cruella didn't exactly make your health a concern" Jay said

"I still think I'm younger than you guys" Carlos said

"Dude you have to be or you are the latest bloomer on this island" Jay said wincing as Evie pulled the stitch

"It was about time you gave squeaky his name back" Mal said laughing

"Ha Ha very funny" Carlos said laughing

"My pain helping you?" Carlos asked Jay

"A little, sorry bro" Jay said wincing again

"All done" Evie said covering it was gauze, pulling his shorts up and patting his butt

"Whoa" Jay said flinching away from her

"Nice and firm" Evie said

"Um thank you. I think" Jay said

"Why don't we try to get some food in your belly" Mal said

"I don't know if I can eat, my stomach is still queasy and I'm still lightheaded" Jay said

"You need to try to eat a small something"

"I'll probably throw it up" Jay said

"You need to try" Evie said

"I might just shower again, I'm all sweaty and gross"

"You can't get the stitches wet" Evie said

"I just still feel dirty" Jay said

"Why don't you let the girls wash you down again and I get some food for you" Carlos said

"I can wash myself"

"No you can't, just stop fighting us" Mal said rolling her eyes

"We're just gonna wipe you down and I'll wash your hair again. You said yourself you don't feel clean yet" Evie said

"And you said you were lightheaded" Mal said

"I'm gonna terrorize this place once I can move again" Jay said

"I know you will" Mal said

"Alright let me go get a clean bucket with water" Evie said

They got everything they needed and Mal and Evie washed him down and Evie washed his hair and gave him another head massage. She brushed it out slowly, careful of the knots that were left and brushed it until Jay had started to fall asleep and it was knot free.

"Let me get Carlos and we'll get you up. You change your boxers and then we'll put you in a clean bed" Evie said

"I don't have a choice do I?" Jay asked

"Nope" Mal said going to get Carlos

"Aww look who is all shiny clean. You was behind your ears too?" Carlos asked smirking

"I hate you" Jay deadpanned

"Nah you don't" Carlos said "Come on, up you go" Carlos said taking the injured side so he could absorb more of Jay's weight than Mal or Evie.

They got him up and standing and gave his head a moment to stop spinning.

"Dude you have to be concussed" Carlos said

"Yea I'm pretty sure you do" Evie said

"I think he hit me in the head the other night" Jay said looking down

"One of us will make sure we stay up while you sleep" Mal said

"Up to you" Jay said, too tired to argue with them

"Jay I'm just gonna pull your boxers down, slip new ones on. The girls will close their eyes and I will close mine. This will just be faster and less painful for you. We're all hungry and tried at this point" Carlos said

"Why do you all have such a fascination with my junk?" Jay asked

"We promise not to look, this will just cause you less pain. I really don't think Carlos is interested in your junk. It'll be a few seconds" Mal said

"I'll slip them down you'll step out of the leg and then into the clean leg, then do the other side and then I'll close my eyes and pull them till you can reach them ok" Carlos said

"Fine" Jay said annoyed

"You want me to tell everyone how big you are?" Mal asked him

It softened Jay and he let out a small laugh.

"I'm good. Don't want people getting the wrong idea about me" Jay said

"Alright here we go. Ladies close your eyes" Carlos said

He sat in front of Jay closed his eyes and pulled the boys shorts down. He opened them only to tap Jay's foot to get it out and into the clean pair. He did the same thing on the other side, closed his eyes again and started to pull them up. Waiting for Jay to tell him to stop. Jay knew he couldn't reach far and had Carlos pull them up to his mid there were he safely situated them on his hips and told everyone he was decent.

"Thank you" Jay said in a small voice

"You want pants or a shirt?" Carlos asked him

"No this is enough" Jay said "I do need to sit down though" Jay said wobbling a little

"Easy, don't fall" Carlos said getting Evie out of the way to absorb Jay.

"We have to change the sheets on Mal's bed, put him in mine" Evie said

They were only able to get two beds so they usually ended up pushing them together and slept all four together, it also helped keep them warm and made them feel safe. They got Jay over to Evie's bed and they could tell he was in pain. He was panting and looked a little green.

"Get him some water" Carlos told Mal

"What else can we get you?" Evie asked him

"I just need to close my eyes"

"Can you eat a little" Evie asked

"I don't think so" Jay said trying to get the room to stop spinning

"It'll help your belly I promise" Evie said

"Alright, just some bread" Jay said taking the water from Mal.

"Slowly" Mal cautioned

He took a few small, shaky sips and handed the cup off. Mal went and got the bread and broke it into small pieces so it was easy for him. After he had the ones Mal had given him he was more than ready for sleep.

"Here take this" Evie said handing him the potion from Dizzy.

Jay did as he was told and chased it with more water.

"How do you want to lay?" Mal asked him

"Can you put a pillow under my side?" Jay asked

"Of course, are you ok on your back?" Mal asked

"I'm fine" Jay said moaning in pain as they situated him

"It might be more convincing if you weren't moaning in pain as you say it" Mal said

"Whatever" Jay said

"Get some sleep ok. We're all right here. There's a bucket and water next to you in case you need it. Please get Carlos for when you have to go to the bathroom so you don't hurt yourself too much" Evie said

"Yes mom" Jay said rolling his eyes

"The more you roll your eyes the worse you head hurts" Mal deadpanned

"Yea got that, thanks" Jay said

"One of us will be awake at all times if you need anything. We will wake you every few hours to check on you for your concussion" Evie said kissing the top of his head

"What she means is to make sure the small amount of brains you do have don't fall out of your ears" Carlos said squeezing his shoulder

He knew that Jay hated people taking care of him so he was trying to show Jay that the girls were over reacting all while he was just as worried.

"I'll take the first few hours" Mal said sliding a chair over to the side of the bed

"Seriously?" Jay asked as Mal got the chair as close as she could

"If you stop breathing the worriers will get mad" Mal said

Mal wasn't the worrier of the group but she also knew Jay was not ok and probably wouldn't be for a while.

"Sure" Jay said closing his eyes again

The medicine was working, Jay was getting sleepier and sleepier but every time his mind started to shut down he would jolt awake. The first few times Mal didn't say anything. They had dimmed the lights and Jay figured that she couldn't see him. After another round of Jay spazzing awake Mal finally said something.

"You're safe" she said gently

"I know that" Jay deadpanned

"Ya sure" Mal said inspecting her nails

"I'm trying to sleep" Jay said putting the cold cloth back on his face.

He wasn't sure about it but Evie insisted and it actually made his head feel better, blocked some light and relaxed him overall.

"You trying to convince yourself or me?" Mal asked

"No one" Jay said mumbling

Mal didn't want to lay next to him and potentially hurt him but she also knew they all always slept better when they were next to each other.

Less than a half hour later Jay startled himself awake again. He didn't come out of it right away and Mal could tell he was panicked and confused.

"You in the loft. It's ok" She soothed and she put her hand gently on his stomach

"I need sleep" Jay said frustrated

"Here take my hand" Mal said gently

"I'd lay next to you but I don't want to hurt any of your injuries" Mal said

Jay didn't think he could take anyone laying next to him. He was concerned about his own injuries but also about flailing awake and hurting one of his friends. He took Mal's hand and hated that it did make him feel better.

"Shhh, I'm right here. I'm not going anywhere" Mal said

She kissed the top of his head and rubbed her other hand on his cheek, never letting go of his hand.

"I won't let anything happen to you or Evie or Carlos tonight. I promise. Just let yourself relax and try to heal. We're all safe and we're all here" Mal said gently

She saw him squeeze his eyes closed and knew if he started crying again she would start to cry and that was the last thing they both needed.

"I know it's scary and I know you're trying to get it all out of your head but when you're scared just squeeze my hand. I can take it" Mal said still rubbing his cheek with the back of her hand.

"Can you please stop rubbing my cheek when my eyes are closed. It's just not a good memory" Jay said

"Oh god I'm so sorry, it relaxed you earlier" Mal said worried

"It's how my dad would wake me up in the morning. It would start off nice and I didn't move and then he would slap me awake" Jay said swallowing hard

"I'm so sorry we didn't get you out sooner" Mal said trying to stop her tears

"I'm just glad you got me when you did" Jay said squeezing her hand

Mal didn't say anything knowing her voice would betray her. She waited a moment before she spoke.

"What about a belly rub?" Mal asked

"I'm not Carlos" Jay said sleepily

"Give it a shot" Mal said as she rubbed his belly. She lightly grazed her nails up and down his bare skin since he didn't want the sheet up to high. She never let go of his hand and eventually he fell asleep.

Evie, Carlos and Mal all took turns that night staying awake and reassuring him every time he woke up. None of them wanted to stay in the bed for fear they would cause him more pain but whoever wasn't awake in the chair was asleep on the floor next to him. At one point he startled awake to see Carlos holding his hand, reading a book. One that Jay had stolen from him in the pile of things Auradon "donated" to them.

"Dude what?" Jay asked

"I was told I had to hold your hand" Carlos said not looking up from his chapter

"I'm good" Jay said

"That's nice" Carlos said not letting go

"Bro I gotta pee" Jay said

"Mal told me you are not allowed out of this bed, that she thinks your more concussed than you originally led on to and now the girls are asleep on the floor below"

"I'm not peeing the bed, that's your thing" Jay said

Carlos closed his book before looking at Jay and laughing.

"I was six!" Carlos said laughing

"Well a full bladder isn't exactly comfortable, won't be in the morning when the girls are awake either"

"I got you" Carlos said standing up quietly

"You tell them I let you out of bed and didn't made you use a bucket I will hurt you myself" Carlos said helping him take the sheet off and standing him up

"I would like to see that happen" Jay said slinging his right arm around Carlos since the left one hurt too much

"I could just drop you right now. Mission accomplished" Carlos said looking up at him

"Yea let's not do that" Jay said

Carlos just laughed and tried to navigate a path between the purple and blue hair that was spread on the ground.

"Why are they not in the bed of couch?" Jay asked confused

"They thought it would be too far away" Carlos said

"That makes no sense" Jay said

"We missed you the last few months dude. We all did, it was weird. None of us liked it. I think you saying to let you die really got to them. It got to me but one of us needs to not be a crying mess. You're down right now, you've always had our backs. Let me have all of yours"

"You aren't the baby anymore" Jay said surprised

"Just don't put me around any dogs or I will jump into your arms" Carlos said shuddering as Jay shuffled to the bathroom

"Noted" Jay said

"I'm sorry for disappearing like that" Jay said "Sorry for making you guys care"

"You had no control over it" Carlos said "We're sorry it took us so long to get you out of there"

"It's ok" Jay said

"I'm glad you're back with us. I missed my big brother" Carlos said blinking away his emotion

Jay would say he slipped, Carlos would say that he went to catch Jay but they let themselves hug, if only for a brief moment.

"Come on, go pee. I am not cleaning that up" Carlos said laughing

Jay did what he needed to do while Carlos looked away and leaned against the wall, the weight of the day taking a toll on him.

"Come on let's get you back in bed before the girls wake up" Carlos said after Jay washed his hands. They might have been villains kids but they still have some dignity.

"Carlos" Jay said looking down at the youngest

"Yea what's wrong?" Carlos said scanning him

"Thank you" Jay said squeezing his arm

"You're welcome"

"I don't think I could have taken their pity all night, so I lashed out and..." Jay said before Carlos cut him off

"I get it ok. I know what this feels like, at least mentally. You just need to give yourself some time" Carlos said

Jay just closed his eyes and gave Carlos a small nod, which he regretted when the room spun.

Carlos got him back into bed, Evie stirred awake and Carlos convinced her to go back to sleep that they were fine. He pulled the sheet back up for Jay put the pillows where he wanted them and opened his book. Carlos had gone back to reading and Jay used his right hand to put the cold cloth back on his face.

"Carlos" He said quietly

Carlos didn't hesitate, he moved his chair closer to the bed and reached the hand not holding the book out to Jay, Jay took it silently and fell back asleep. Carlos just smirked and for the first time he finally felt like he was meant to have these friends, that he was meant to be here and that he wasn't as worthless as his mother told him he was. He would help Jay find that same realization. He looked at his three sleeping friends and just wished more than anything they could get off the Island. he didn't know if it would be any better, he knew there were dogs everywhere else but he knew that none of them wanted to keep living like this.


	11. Chapter 11

"_Jay, Jay wake up you're dreaming" Evie said to the boy starting to thrash around next to her. It was her turn to take up residence in the chair next to the bed and hold his hand. Carlos had said he had one bad dream when he was sleeping and that hopefully that would be it for the night but sadly that was not the case._

_"Jay, it's Evie. You're safe with me, wake up" Evie said a little louder this time_

_Jay continued to move around and Evie could see his face all scrunched up in pain._

_"Jay" said opening one of his eyes_

_"Huh? What the hell?" Jay said bolting up and then wincing at the pain in his left side_

_"You were having a nightmare and wouldn't wake up" Evie said squeezing his hand_

_"So you try to poke my eye out?" Jay said annoyed rubbing his eyes_

_"I'm sorry, I didn't want you to be in pain" Evie said quietly_

_"Thanks for waking me" Jay said blinking a few times to clear his head_

_"Here, small sips" Evie said unclasping her hand to hand him his water_

_Jay did as he was told and handed the cup back to Evie._

_"How ya feeling?" She asked running her hands through his hair_

_"Like shit" Jay said_

_"Well at least you admit it now" Evie said taking his hand again_

_"I'm just so tired of everything Evs" Jay said, lip quivering_

_"I know" Evie said nodding knowing exactly what he meant_

_"I honestly don't know how much more I can take" Jay said_

_"Maybe you'll get picked to go to Auradon"_

_"I wouldn't go without you guys" Jay said_

_"Oh you would go" Evie said firmly_

_"Is that gonna be any better. I'm sure they don't like us"_

_"It has to be better than your father using you as a punching bag" Evie said_

_"At least here I know what's gonna hurt me. Over there who knows what it's like" Jay said trailing off_

_"Well tonight is not the time for your little concussed brain to ponder life across the bridge. Go back to sleep ok. I'm right here" Evie said helping him lay down_

_"When will you guys stop babying me?" Jay asked_

_"When you've been back with us longer than eight hours" Evie said_

_"Somehow I think it will be longer than that" Jay said grumbling_

_"Hey we all know you are big, strong, the best thief there is but right now you're on the injured list or whatever they call it in your sports magazines so let us take care of you" Evie said_

_"I'm supposed to take care of you guys" Jay said_

_"Well luckily we managed to not get ourselves mixed up with Uma. We all laid pretty low without you. Our parents weren't thrilled but we knew we needed you. So get some sleep you you can heal" Evie said in a tone Jay knew there was no use arguing with_

_"Evie" Jay said softly_

_"Yea" Evie said looking at him again_

_"I keep dying in my dreams" He said trying to fight the tightness in his voice "I know what I said earlier, but then now you guys die and then I die and it's all my fathers fault"_

_"No one is going anywhere on my watch tonight" Evie said fighting back her own emotion before she just hugged him._

_"I got you, just rest ok" Evie said kissing his forehead and taking his hand_

_"That makes me feel a little better" Jay said trying to get comfortable_

_"You need anything before you go back to sleep?"_

_"Can I just have another blanket. I'm kinda cold" Jay said_

_"Of course" Evie said pulling it up "It's what happens when you go around shirtless just to show off your abs" She added with a smirk knowing it would make him feel better._

_"Thanks Evs" Jay said closing his eyes_

_"Evil dreams" Evie said sweetly_

* * *

Lonnie couldn't bring herself to look at Jay, not because she couldn't handle it but because she didn't know how to not break down crying when she would look in his eyes. She couldn't imagine all that he had been through and yet he still was able to make her laugh like no one else. The self confidence he had on campus and on the field masked how he really felt. If she looked at him she knew that she would just continue to cry, but not looking at him might give him the idea that he shouldn't have trusted her with this. The Jay she knew took care of and protected his friends. He had his teammates backs and he genuinely wanted to do well in Auradon now, she couldn't imagine him being in so much pain that he couldn't move to the bathroom himself or that he had not eaten in several months. She thought back to the night in the kitchen their first week there when she found them making cookies. She knew the food on isle wasn't great and figured that they would just want cookies, not that they were trying to spell Ben, or that they did not even know what a homemade chocolate chip cookie tasted like. She thought about how she said she thought even Villains loved their kids, and while it might have been true for some, for Jay that was not the case. She vaguely remembered some cloudy look cross his face before he tried to flirt with her, and she hoped that she hadn't made him feel bad about it.

No one said anything as Evie had told them the last bits of the story. They all knew there was more but judging by the four VKs faces, they really didn't want to talk anymore.

Evie and Jay both had a white-knuckled grip on each other's hands and Carlos had his hand protectively on Jay's shoulder. May had moved at some part of the story and was now holding Evie's hand.

"Jay, I don't know what to say. If I had known..." Ben said trailing off. Nothing he could say would make the situation any better

"I'm glad you're here, Jay" Jane said wiping her eyes. She had slowly started gaining confidence in herself and in her role within the group.

Jay didn't say anything. He didn't trust his own voice. The four of them really hand't spoken about it since he recovered and now he that it was out, he knew there was no going back. He could feel the sob rising in his throat that it was truly over, that he was safe, that his father couldn't hurt him here. It was all over and the calming feeling he felt would only lead to more tears if he tried to talk. He put his head in his hands and just tried to breath, never letting go of Evie's hand.

Evie felt her hand being crushed but she couldn't pull it away, it was a grounding presence that Jay was still with them, she had been terrified for months that he would do something reckless or stupid because he couldn't take the aisle any longer. She didn't know if she was crying from relief or sadness.

Mal was crying as well, she didn't know Jay had been harboring this much pain. She hated that she was part of the reason that he kept it all bottled up. On the isle they all had to, it was the only way to survive, but here, Jay was struggling. Her best friend, the guy that had her back no matter what she got herself into, never backed down even when he knew she was being dumb, and she let him suffer this long. No wonder he snapped the other day, Mal just didn't know how he hadn't lost it on her sooner. She wishes she could go back in time and heal him sooner but she knew there was no spell for it.

Doug didn't say anything. He didn't know what to say. He pretty much had a perfect life. He thought the worst person in his life was Chad, and hearing his new friends detail their lives broke his heart. Seeing how scared Evie was on the isle and how her mother treated her, he just wanted to take her in his arms and never let her go.

Carlos knew more about Jay's mental recovery than the rest. Jay had slowly confided in Carlos while they were on the isle and then eventually in Auradon, it's hard to continue to hide nightmares when your beds are only six feet away from each other. He probably recovered the quickest, he had told Dude this story after several weeks of being in Auradon. It was all before Dude could talk but he swore that Dude was proud of the way he stepped up when Jay needed help. Carlos kept a protective hand on Jay's shoulder. He didn't know how Jay would react, if he would freakout and storm out of the room, ignore the three of them or never talk to Lonnie again or take all his anger out on Mal. Carlos finally looked up at Jay, feeling like he had composed himself enough that he could handle it.

He saw Jay was shaking and crying and looked as if he was having a hard time breathing. Carlos quickly got up and knelt in front of Jay.

"Jay, it's me, Carlos" Carlos said gently putting a hand on his knee

Jay let out a half sob but didn't say anything.

"Jay, you need to breath ok. You're safe" Carlos eased

He tried to get a look at his face, but his hands and one of Evie's were in the way. It was like everyone was stuck in a trance after hearing about the Isle.

"Here, small sips" Carlos said handing him his water bottle and kneeling in front of him again

"I.." Jay said trying to cough and breath at the same time

"Jay, it's ok" Carlos said squeezing his knee

"Ah" Jay said not being able to breath as he clutched at his chest

Evie looked up at the sudden movement of her hand and realized Jay was panicking.

"Jay" Evie said gently

More guttural noises came from Jay and slowly everyone came out of their own thoughts.

"Jay. You're safe. Everything is ok" Carlos said hugging him tightly

Jay kept clawing at his chest, as if his lungs would not work.

"Lay him down" Evie said quickly unclasping her hand from Mal's and getting up. Jay had a death grip on her hand and she awkwardly stood as Carlos laid him down

"Shh, you're safe" Evie said as she started rubbing Jay's chest

"What?" Mal said realizing what was happening

"Jay, you're ok. You're having a panic attack" Carlos said gently

"Close your eyes ok" Evie said still rubbing his chest

"Just focus on you're breathing" Carlos said

Mal knew that Jay had had one or two panic attacks on the Isle and then one here, but the first time it happened on the Isle she froze and didn't know what to do. She felt like this one was her fault and knew Evie and Carlos had been with him before when then happened but she knew she had to help.

"Jay, it's Mal. You're safe. You're in your dorm room" Mal said feeling more tears spring to eyes

"Should I get Fairy Godmother or the nurse?" Ben asked jumping up

"NO" Evie, Carlos and Mal yelled

Ben didn't want to leave them, but knowing what he knew about Jay, he couldn't imagine he would want them all staring at him.

"What can I do?" Lonnie said standing up

"Get him some more water" Evie said

Jane and Doug went and stood next to Ben, unsure of what to do.

"Jay, keep breathing. That's it. In and out ok" Carlos said as Dude went over to lay next to Jay

Jay had his eyes closed, tears running down his face. He wasn't clutching his test as tightly and he had let go on Evie's hand. He could now hear Carlos next to him telling him he was ok. He had a whiff of Evie's perfume next to his face and then he felt her hands on his chest. He heard Mal tell him that he was in his dorm room. He felt Dude's soft warm body on his arm. He slowly felt like he was no longer paralyzed and he outstretched his hand onto Dude.

"That's it buddy" Carlos said as Jay took a big deep breath in

"Out slowly" he coached

"You're safe with us" Evie said gently as she rubbed his chest. This his happened a few days after he started to heal, it was like he could not breath no matter how hard he tried. Part of the problem were the bruised ribs which only lead to the panicked feeling. He was light headed and Carlos had laid him down knowing he was becoming dead weight. Evie had started to rub his chest where he had been clutching at his shirt and her soft, gentle pace forced his lungs to work.

Lonnie had come back in with his water and handed it to Carlos but went around the back of the sofa. She didn't want to touch him and freak him out but she quietly whispered that she was right next to him.

"You want some water?" Carlos asked softly

Jay opened his eyes and he saw his friends all huddled around him, Lonnie perched on the back of the sofa and the others a few feet from him. He saw the scared looks on all of their faces and fresh tears came to his eyes.

"It's ok" Lonnie said gently

"Sit up, small sips" Carlos said taking his hand and sitting him up

Evie rubbed his back instead, knowing it reminded him to breath

"Slow, slow. Don't choke" Carlos said as Jay tried to take a big mouthful

Jay shook his head to clear it and put a hand on his chest where it hurt.

"Jay" Carlos said

Jay looked at his best friend kneeling next to him and nodded.

"I'm good" Jay croaked out

"You had a panic attack" Carlos said putting his hand on his shoulder

Jay tried to get up but Carlos pushed him back.

"Let your body calm down first" Carlos said. He was no stranger to anxiety and panic living with Cruella.

Jay tried to get his feet off the couch so Carlos moved and sat next to him once Jay was fulling sitting up. Evie was on the other side and Lonnie and Mal were behind him.

Doug, Jane and Ben didn't know what to do so they stood there together.

"It's ok, it's all over" Evie said taking his hand

Carlos grabbed his wrist and was checking his pulse.

"I'm sorry" Jay said turning red

"You have nothing to be sorry about" Carlos said

"How does your chest feel?" Evie asked

"Still hurts, but better" Jay said trying to get rid of the emotion in his voice

His hands were still shaking so Evie put one of hers in his lap.

"You're safe with us in here" Carlos said

Jay closed his eyes, nodded and took a deep breath.

When he went to talk his mouth was all dry and Carlos handed him his water.

"Slow" He said gently

Evie saw he was still sweaty and tied his hair up in a low bun to get it off his neck. Mal went to their bathroom and ran cold water on a washcloth and put it on the back of his neck.

Carlos checked his pulse and again and while still not normal, it was much better.

"It's better now" Carlos said looking at his watch

"You wanna talk about it?" Evie asked him

Jay just looked at her and gave her a small laugh

"I know, you never want to talk about your feelings" Evie said smiling to him

"It just happened" Jay said finally talking

"That's how they usually go" Carlos said

"Once Evie stopped talking. I felt relieved but also like my chest was being crushed and then I got hot and lightheaded and couldn't breath" Jay said making sure to breath

No one said anything they just gave Jay a moment to collect his thoughts.

"I was scared of you guys knowing all that, and I still remember that night clear as day" Jay said closing his eyes and swallowing hard "But after it was out, I felt like he couldn't hurt me anymore and I don't know. I just panicked" Jay said reaching for the water

"You don't need to keep it all hidden deep down" Mal said putting her hand on his shoulder "I shouldn't have made you" She said

"I think I needed to but then it got to be too much. It was a lot easier to be the prince of thieves, the aggressive Isle athlete than it was to be the broken kid whose father beat him when we got here"

"You really amped up the godliness quality to yourself here" Mal said smirking

"It was easier to put that act on than pretend I was fine" Jay said looking down

"You don't have to do that anymore. You can just be you" Carlos said

"I don't know who that is" Jay said quietly

"Then we help you find out" Lonnie said wiping her eyes

Evie smiled at both of them before she spoke.

"We're always gonna have a little bit of Isle left in us, it's who we are, where we came from. It's what makes us who we are. We have scars from it but we also have each other. We can't forget who we are but we can overcome our pasts" Evie said squeezing Jay's hand

Jay just looked at her and nodded.

"It can be overwhelming, but we're all here for you. None of us exploded or ran away or what ever else you kept telling yourself was going to happen. Lately hanging out with all of us, and playing Tourney and Swords and Shields it's the happiest I've seen you in a long time. And I knew that some of it was an act, but lean on us. You don't have to go through all of your emotions and feelings alone" Evie said

"Thank you" Jay said, voice thick.

"I know what panic attacks feel like, the crippling fear that you can't move and could possibly die. I was riddled with them not to long ago, you saw me when we all first met. But talking helps, and realizing that the things I'm scared of can't hurt me. Every once in a while I still get them but they aren't as bad, and I'm not ashamed of it. Let us help, because from what I know about you, and what Carlos has said. You're pretty great, and you deserve to be happy and have a great life here" Jane said hugging Jay

Jay knew that he had gotten closer with her being around Carlos more, but a part of him still thought that he and Mal scared her. Her stepping forward and hugging him meant a lot to him. He hugged her back and whispered in her ear how much it meant to him.

"Once everything was out there, we couldn't take back what we said and I know you all thought the Isle was a lot better than it actually was and part of me was relieved because I didn't want to keep lying about scars, and why I was jumpy or whatever. I was scared that if you knew you would think I was wear or pathetic or not worth having here. That I was too damaged and when you all were still sitting here, I don't know. It was like a giant weight off my chest. I could finally breath for the first time in years, but at the same time I just panicked" Jay said

"Thank you for telling us" Doug said "I know it wasn't easy for you guys"

"Jay if you need more help than what any of us can give you, don't ever hesitate to reach out. You shouldn't have to fix this yourself. I know you all have been on your own for a while but here, you don't have to do it that way" Ben said

"Thank you" Jay said "I want to see if just talking about everything helps, and if it doesn't I had promised Evie and Carlos I would talk to Fairy Godmother about it" Jay said

"That sounds like a good idea to me" Ben said

"I'm sorry I know you better, I should have known it was all an act" Mal said

"Well we all got good at hiding what we thought we needed to. I just don't have spells to help me out" He said smirking at her

"I was trying to be serious" Mal said, hand on her hips

"I know" Jay said

"I think that's enough story time for one day. I'm not sure any of us can handle much more" Evie said

"I think I'm tapped out" Carlos said

"Me too" Jay said

"Yea. That was a hard few months without Jay and then even after we got him back" Mal said nodding

"We'll let you guys hang out tonight" Jane said

Carlos looked sad and Jane caught it.

"What?" She asked

"I just wanted to spend time with you"

"Why don't we take Dude for a walk" Jane said

"We both would like that" Carlos said smiling at her

"If anyone wants to have dinner with my parents, I was going to go there tonight" Ben said

"I'll come if guys don't mind" Mal said

"I was hoping Lonnie would go for a walk with me" Jay said

"Waffle hut?" Lonnie asked

"I am kinda hungry" Jay said

"Doug and I have some chemistry homework to study for so why don't the four of us sleep in here again" Evie said

"I like that idea" Mal said

"Like Jay or I would have a say" Carlos said laughing

"I mean if you really need me" Jay said smirking

* * *

Jay and Lonnie had been walking around campus quietly for a little before Jay kept grabbing his chest.

"You ok?" Lonnie asked stopping, concerned.

"Yea, my chest just still hurts" Jay said realizing he had been holding it again

"Why don't we sit down" Lonnie said, they were down by the practice field for tourney. The stars were starting to come out and Lonnie knew how much Jay liked them.

"Aren't you hungry?" Jay asked her

"I can wait"

"Ok" Jay said and Lonnie said in the grass

"Lie down" Lonnie instructed him to put his head in her lap

"In all those rom com movies I've been forced to watch here, I'm pretty sure you're supposed to be laying in my lap" Jay said smirking

"Will you just lie down" Lonnie said rolling her eyes at him

They laid there quietly for a little, Lonnie just rubbing Jay's chest and him staring at the stars. His fear that Lonnie would think it was all too much, that he was too broken hadn't come true. While he still couldn't tell her how he felt, he knew that she knew that he liked her more than just a friend.

"I'm glad you were there today. Even if I pushed you away a little" Jay said lazily

"I'm glad you opened up. I'm sorry for everything you went through"

"Please, no pity. I know some kids had it worse than I did" Jay said

"They did?" Lonnie asked surprised

"They got beat more frequently than I did"

"No parent or anyone should ever abuse their child Jay" Lonnie said

"I know. I know. I mean I barely made it out of there alive and I got a second change and there's others that are still suffering"

"It's not your fault. Aren't you guys in talks to bring more kids over?" Lonnie asked

"Yea, but if you do four at a time, I mean people will get left behind" Jay said

"How many kids are there?" Lonnie asked

"A lot. Villains get bored, there's not really much in the way of birth control. Sleeping around is encouraged in some areas. It's not like we have Fairy Godmother telling us that it's a special thing with your own prince or princess where you life happily ever after" Jay said hysterically laughing, barely able to get the words out

"Oh my god, try being thirteen and fourteen having to listen to her say that" Lonnie said laughing at his imitation

"Yea, grateful for that. They didn't exactly teach that in Dragon Hall. It was just what you heard from the older kids" Jay said still laughing

"I think you ask any Auradon Prep kid what the worst day of their life was and hands down it'll be the day Fairy Godmother gave her speech"

"The four of us were horrified. I mean we knew about it and all but like it's Fairy Godmother" Jay said still laughing

"Yea you just kinda avoid her for a few days afterwards" Lonnie said

"She like started from the very beginning and we were like no we got through that part, and don't need the next part" Jay said shaking his head "I think Carlos was a permanent shade of red for a week"

"You guys were all acting weirder than normal after that class" Lonnie said laughing "I was surprised you were"

"Ah, my reputation. It's actually not what you think it is" Jay said getting serious

"I wasn't..." Lonnie said getting nervous before Jay cut in

"I know what it was on the Isle, and I know what it was here at first" Jay said

"You flirted with anything that had boobs?" Lonnie asked laughing

"Well yea" Jay deadpanned

"But you were secretly trying to not sure how hurt you were" Lonnie said getting serious

"I'll talk about my sex life, but don't think I can talk about my feelings about the Isle anymore" Jay said

"Sorry, we can change topics" Lonnie said

"Lon, it's not what you think" Jay said looking up at her

"Jay, it doesn't matter" Lonnie said

"No it does. Look I don't care if you slept with anyone, but my ladies man reputation was one I wasn't proud of and I want you to know the truth" Jay said sitting up to face her

"Ok" Lonnie said gently

"I actually never slept with anyone" Jay said, he could read Lonnie and realized she was surprised

"I'm serious. On the Isle I had the reputation of "getting around""

"So you were't the Isle's fuckboy?" Lonnie asked

"Ha, no I wasn't" Jay said giving her a small laugh "You remember Gil?" Jay asked

"Not where I thought this was going but he had the warpaint right?" Lonnie asked confused

"Yea" Jay said nodding, realizing she got worried that he was going to tell her he liked Gil and not her.

"He's Gaston's son, and he has two older half twin brothers. Who are pieces of shit. Gil actually isn't terrible. I mean I don't like him because he runs with Uma, but he kinda just thirdwheels Uma and Harry. But anyway, his brothers tormented him pretty bad his whole life. Picked on him, beat him up and at one point he said he had a crush on Mal. Which first of all pissed Uma off but his brothers then made it their mission to try and sleep with Evie and Mal, anyway they could" Jay said darkly

"That's terrible"

"Gil actually came to me at school the one day and told me what his brothers were planning on doing. I mean consent wasn't always what people cared about over there. Gil didn't want to see the girls get hurt and he hated his brothers" Jay said

Lonnie nodding and started to run her fingers through his hair as he talked.

"I had a decent amount of street-cred. I got people to stop picking on Carlos and I roughed some kids up. Not something I'm proud of but it happened. I was ready to throw down with the twins if they tried going anywhere near the girls. I only ever thought of them as my sisters. But I knew Evie wouldn't be able to fight one off and I didn't think Mal could either. So I basically went everywhere with them and didn't let me out of my sight. And the one day one of the twins had Mal cornered in the alley by school and so I told him to fuck off, she was mine" Jay said looking at Lonnie to see how she would react

She just nodded.

"If he was gonna try and hurt her in any way, he was gonna have to get through me first. And so I told him I was sleeping with Mal, she was mine. He couldn't have her. I hated the way I had to "claim" Mal, but it was the only way I could think of to protect her. Then the one day they grabbed Evie and I basically said the same thing. The look of fear in her eyes and she tried to fight him off. I never want to see again. So I said she was mine. And obviously they called me out for sleeping with both. Evie knew what I had said when I got Mal back and she went along with it. But I mean I flirted mostly because it gave me some type of affection that I didn't know I wanted at the time and it was a good distraction when I was stealing. But sleeping around wasn't my thing. They were my sisters, my family I did what I had to do to protect them. Then when we came here, I kept flirting because it was nice to be the decent looking athletic guy that girls all wanted to go out with. I know it was shallow but it made me feel better. It's what I was used to" Jay said hoping Lonnie didn't hate him

Lonnie didn't say anything and Jay cringed inside and figured he had told her too much too soon.

"You really are the best friend anyone could have, aren't you?" Lonnie asked giving him a smile

Jay let out a breath he didn't know he had been holding.

"I just knew they were both scared and I didn't want well THAT to happen to them. Carlos didn't have the confidence or know how to sand up to the Gaston idiots. And I mean maybe it would've been believable for him and Evie but not him and Mal. I just faked the confidence" Jay said shrugging

"It sounds like you tired to do the right thing even back there" Lonnie said

"I guess" Jay said

"You care so much about your friends, it's really sweet" Lonnie said putting her hand on top of his

"It was my job" Jay said shrugging

"So what changed all the flirting here. The cheerleaders can't figure out why you stopped flirting with all of them" Lonnie said smirking

"You wanna go to waffle house now? I'm starving" Jay said stammering, turning red

"Sure" Lonnie said nodding, knowing he needed more time.

"For what it's worth Jay, I know right now you can't tell me or anyone how you feel I get it. But I'm glad you feel comfortable enough to talk to me" Lonnie said looking him in the eye

Jay just nodded, eyes suddenly feeling wet again. He stood and held his hand out to help Lonnie up.

"I didn't flirt with you aside from the kitchen that first week because I didn't want to hurt you. I wanted you to like me. When all of you guys were staring at us when we got out of the limo. I immediately saw you"

"Jay" Lonnie said softly

"Lon, I can't right now. And I know it's dumb and..." He said when Lonnie out her hand on his cheeks

"It's ok. There's no rush." Lonnie said looking him dead in the eye.

"Thank you" Jay said quietly putting his forehead against hers and hugging her

When Lonnie pulled back from the hug she saw he had fresh tears in his eyes.

"Hey, what's wrong?" she asked gently

"God I'm ridiculous" Jay said looking up

"What?" Lonnie asked searching his face

"I can't stop crying and I can't believe you haven't run away from me yet"

"Jay it's ok to cry" Lonnie said

"Um not this much. I'm probably dehydrated. And I've shed enough tears of human emotion that I probably wouldn't even need Mal for a love spell"

"What?" Lonnie asked confused

"Long story. Your human emotion tear was the tear we needed for the cookies for Ben for Mal..." Jay said rambling

"Whoa slow down, breath. In and out. Calmly" Lonnie said soothingly, noticing Jay was getting all worked up again

Jay nodded and he followed Lonnie's instructions to breath.

She said him reaching for his chest so she put her hand on the middle of his chest to calm him down.

"Sorry" He said looking down

"You ok?" Lonnie asked him worriedly

"Yea. I just"

"It's ok" Lonnie said

"I was scared you were gonna freak and that it was going to be too much. That my past was going to be too much and you weren't going to want to be friends or anything else anymore. I just...I just didn't think you would stay. I'm damaged Lonnie, I told you that last night..." Jay said

"And I told you I would tell you when I couldn't take it anymore. Yea I'm heart broken for what you went through and how you were treated but that doesn't make me want to be your friend any less. I want to know more about you, how protective and loyal you are. How you care so much about your friends and teammates. And if you need ten years to put yourself back together then that's fine. I'm not going to stop being friends with you" Lonnie said

"You sure?" Jay asked her

"Of course I'm sure. I love Auradon Prep, and I love going to school here and living here but sometimes I felt like I didn't always fit in. I felt like I had to live up to the same grace under pressure my mother did all while kicking ass in a place where being a damsel in distress was a good thing. But it's not me. Yea I play lacrosse and I fence but I always wanted to be on the swords and shields team but I was never allowed. You came and you saw that I wasn't just a pair of boobs and a pile of makeup, you saw me for me. You saw my strengths and instead of being scared of it, you embraced it and found a way to put me on the team. I haven't felt like I fully belonged here until you came. You did that Jay, and it means the world to me" Lonnie said wiping her eyes

Jay swiped a tear off her cheek with the pad of his thumb and kept his hand there.

"Yea well Chad can be a dick" Jay said meeting her eyes "We got a lot better once you joined the team"

"You stood up for me, and for what you thought was right. I know we were friends before that but after that, I know it's crazy but I saw a side of you that all makes sense now" Lonnie said putting her hand on top of his

Jay looked nervous so Lonnie kept talking.

"You needed to know that you could trust me before you put me on the team. I respect that. You don't normally get to pick your teammates, and you needed to make sure I earned my way on. Last year Chad told me I just wanted to see him and his muscles up close" Lonnie said

"Man he really irritates me" Jay said "But I did. I wanted to put you on the team but then Chad was yelling about rules and Auradon kinda gets off on rules so I had to do what I do best. Earn some trust and then do what I want" Jay said

"You didn't have to, but you did" Lonnie said

"I just really like pissing Chad off" Jay said smirking

"Yea sure" Lonnie said smirking

"In all honesty you came through, we needed more help on the Isle with Uma and you kicked ass. You earned your spot on the team long before that but I mean Evie and Mal, they can thrown down. Evie won't have a hair out of place and will do it in heels but she can fight. It shouldn't matter that you were a girl. And that's what I told them. You were tough, we wanted you by our side. Girl or boy doesn't matter to be, if you're good you're good. If you're gonna be apart of the team and put the work in then I'm all for it. I just had to find the loophole" Jay said smiling at her

"What I'm saying is that you didn't have to, but you did. And I'm very grateful" Lonnie said

"I know" Jay said nodding seriously

"I don't think I can discuss my feelings and emotions anymore. I'm tired" Jay said

"You still want to go get food? My teat" Lonnie said

"Yea I'm hungry. I got it, my wallets right here" Jay said

Lonnie just rolled her eyes. He couldn't ask her out but he was chivalrous enough to still pay for her.

"Hey Jay" Lonnie said tugging on his arm when he started to walk in the direction of the Waffle House

"Yea" He said giving her a nod

"You ok?" She asked him

"I will be" Jay said nodding "I'm gonna give myself time. But I do feel better" Jay said

"You deserve to be as happy as you are when you're looking at stars" Lonnie said looking up

"It calms me" Jay said "We didn't really have stars on the Isle"

"Thanks for letting me share them with you"

"I wouldn't want to cry on anyone else" Jay said giving her a small smile "Well I would like to stop crying"

"You will. And when you do need to cry. I'm here" Lonnie said

"I know" Jay said swallowing hard

"Come on let's get dinner"

"Breakfast for dinner" Jay said happily taking her arm

"You will never get over waffles and pancakes will you?" Lonnie asked him smiling

"Nope" He said smiling back and taking Lonnie's hand in his.

* * *

I hope you all liked this chapter! Let me know if you want me just to focus on Jay and Lonnie or include any smaller conversations between individual couples. Don't forget to review!


	12. Chapter 12

"Doug?" Evie asked as they got their books out. They were in the lounge in the boys dorm since Evie had her stuff in Carlos's and Jay's room.

"What, yea?" Doug said awkwardly

"Doug, come on you can't not tell me what you're thinking"

"What do you mean?" Doug asked shuffling papers

"Don't be Dopey" Evie said giving him a smile

"You guys just went through a lot more than we thought. As kids we heard the stories and we heard what your parents did. My parents knew that there were kids on the Isle. We were just always told that you guys had the same lives just somewhere else" Doug said

"Hey you can't take blame for that" Evie said

"I know, I just can't believe you are as amazing as you are with everything you went through" Doug said

"Doug" Evie said blushing

"I'm serious, Evie, you guys shouldn't have gone though what you went through" Doug said

"It's in the past now" Evie said

"You're incredible you know that?" Doug said

"I don't mind being told" Evie said giggling

"Always" Doug said nodding

"Are you sure you're handling everything we told you today?"

"You know you could've told me about your eating issues sooner. I could've helped" Doug said taking her hand

"I know you would have, I was trying to hide it but Jay caught on pretty quickly. It wasn't that bad until Chad used me. I just kept hearing my mothers voice tell me that I was too this or too that and that's why Chad didn't want to date me" Evie said "I had been doing a lot better before we left the Isle but here was stressful in the beginning. When we started getting closer, I became more comfortable in myself. You helped so much" Evie said

"I didn't even know back then" Doug said

"it didn't matter. You showed me that I don't need a prince to know who I am. You saw me for more than just a pretty face. I'm very grateful for that"

"I'm always here for you" Doug said

"I know" Evie said nodding "Thank you" she said hugging him

* * *

"So Dude knows more about the Isle than anyone else here?" Jane asked as Carlos put the leash on him

"Yea. Turns out dogs are vicious rabid pack animals" Carlos said laughing lightly

"Excuse me?" Dude said

"Dude, hush" Carlos said laughing

"You and Jane are really cute together. She might give better belly rubs then you though" Dude said

"Dude!" Carlos said picking the dog up

"Yea, yea. I won't talk anymore"

"I kinda love the fact that he can talk though" Jane said petting him

"Definitely saved our asses on the Isle with Uma" Carlos said

"See aren't you happy I failed obedience school?" Dude asked

"Dude, we've been over this. You don't always have to talk" Carlos said shaking his head

Carlos put him down and lead him out of their dorm. Jane took Carlos's hand in hers and he smiled at her.

"You handled all this better than I expected" Carlos said to her

"I had a feeling things we're good. I had heard Evie in the bathroom Pott's dining hall a few times in the beginning. She just kept telling me that it was the new food"

"We knew in the beginning. It was scary on the Isle how bad it had gotten" Carlos said

"I'm glad you guys are all doing better" Jane said

"I'm still worried about Jay" Carlos said

"I can talk to my mom" Jane said

"No, thank you. But Jay needs to want to do it himself. If we force it he'll stop confiding in us and at least he tells us some things" Carlos said

"Ok" Jane said

"I'm really glad you like Mal, Evie and Jay so much" Carlos said

"Once I gave them a change, I found out they were pretty great" Jane said

"Mal still feels bad about what happened at first"

"You guys didn't know any better. Trust me I get not wanting to let your mom down" Jane said

"It was really sweet to see the way you four interacted with each other in the beginning. I mean we all knew you guys were bad, but when it came to one of you, you all had each other's backs" Jane said

"They were the only ones who ever cared about me" Carlos said "We were a family in our own weird way"

"I didn't know how bad you guys had it" Jane said

"No one did" Carlos said shrugging

"Can I ask you something?" Jane asked

"Sure" Carlos said stopping to look at her

"Why did you confide in Dude?"

Carlos laughed and smiled "As long as I gave him treats, he gave me love" Carlos said

Jane hugged him and he hugged her back.

"I really like those" Carlos said

"I've notice" Jane said smiling

"I think I just only ever wanted people to show me affection. I mean the other three did. But it was different because you can't do that on the Isle. And no matter what I told Dude, he would just lick my hand or lay in my lap. He wasn't vicious and it was like trusting him was letting go of a part of the scared of everything Carlos" Carlos said

"I really like the Carlos you're becoming" Jane said

"I do too" Carlos said taking her hand again

"You know you can always talk to me about the Isle" Jane said

"I know. I just needed some time" Carlos said

* * *

"Mal, sweetie is something wrong with your dinner?" Belle asked

"Hm?" Mal asked looking up from her place "What oh no sorry" Mal said turning red

"Is everything ok?" Adam asked

"Yes" Mal said nodding

Ben turned to look at her and she rolled her eyes

"The four of us opened up to Bed, Lonnie, Jane and Doug today about some things on the Isle. It was just some VK stuff that had been going on, and I wasn't the best friend to them lately"

"You know any of you can always come talk to us or to get help" Belle said alarmed

"Thank you" Mal said smiling "We're working through it. I just didn't know that me wanting to fit in was hurting my friends. But we're doing ok now" Mal said

"Ok" Belle said nodding

After dinner Ben and Mal were in the theater room of the Castle watching a movie.

"You've been really quiet since we spilled the beans" Mal said poking him

"What's there to say? It's my parents fault Jay was almost killed, that Evie was starved and you all were treated so horribly" Ben said

"Ben it's not. Your parents did what they thought was right for Auradon, yea it had complications but it is what it is" Mal said

"I get why you wanted to hurt everyone of Auradon when you guys got here" Ben said

"I mean we were more scared of our parents but yea we were all jealous" Mal said shrugging

"Are you sure we shouldn't tell anyone about Jay?" Ben asked

"Yes. You can't Ben. We promised Jay and I know it seems crazy for a VK but Jay takes promises really seriously" Mal said

"But if he.." Ben said before Mal cut him off

"But if he is still struggling or needs more help or whatever I will personally see that he gets it. But you need to give him some time. He's ok for right now" Mal said

"How do you know?" Ben asked

"Because for as long as I have known Jay he hasn't been able to lie to the three of us when we are all together. He can't bring himself to do it. He opened up, he didn't shy away from anything today. You need to give him some time. If his anxiety doesn't get better, I will make sure he sees someone but right now you need to let him work on himself" Mal said slightly annoyed

"Ok, I'll drop it" ben said

"Good" Mal said nodding turning back to the movie

"So what's Hades like as a father?" Ben asked

"Wouldn't know, haven't seen him in years" Mal said

* * *

"Why did we not do this before?" Jay asked smiling

"I'm not sure I've ever seen you this happy before

"How can you not with pancakes and waffles in front of you?"

Jay couldn't decide what he wanted to Lonnie had said they could get one of each and split

"This was genius" Jay said happily

"I'm glad you're enjoying them" Lonnie said laughing

Jay had taken the last bite of his place and leaned back satisfied.

"Well Jay you and Lonnie out on a not actual date again?" Audrey asked walking over to them in a condescending voice

"Hi Audrey" Lonnie said slightly annoyed

"Um Hi" Jay said wiping his mouth

"So you finally asked her out?" Audrey asked Jay

Lonnie saw a panicked look wash over him and jumped in.

"I thought you didn't do carbs, Audrey" Lonnie said

"Oh I don't but Chad wanted waffles" Audrey said rolling her eyes

"How sweet" Lonnie said in the most sickeningly sweet voice she could

"So is this a real date? I hope you wouldn't dress like that for it" Audrey said giving both of them a once over.

Lonnie looked at Jay who had his eyes clothes. She gently nudged his foot under the table to make sure he was ok.

"I always thought you were going to ask me out Jay. I hear you were quite the skirt chaser" Audrey said fake laughing

"Audrey you don't know what you're talking about" Lonnie said sharply

"Cat got your tongue, Jay?"

"Stop" Jay yelled getting up from the table

"Audrey go back to where ever Chad is, he's probably staring at himself in the reflection of a spoon" Lonnie said

She couldn't get up, Audrey was in her way. There were other people from school there and she hoped Jay just went to the bathroom to calm down.

"Whatever. You know how pathetic it is to keep wanting someone that will never go out with you?" Audrey asked

"Um that's exactly what Chad does with you. You take him as your date when it's convenient for you" Lonnie said

"Whatever. I don't know how you think Jay could like you after being on the team with him. He's seen you all sweaty and disgusting" Audrey said grossed out

"Go find Chad and leave us alone" Lonnie said getting up and pushing her out of the way.

Luckily they had already paid so she threw a tip down on the table and walked away. She grabbed her phone from her pocket, hoping to find a text from Jay.

She knocked on the mens bathroom door and called his name.

"Jay"

She didn't get a reply but she head sniffles

"Jay please don't make me come into the mens bathroom" Lonnie said looking around to make sure no one saw them

He came to the door, breathing hard. She saw the look in his eyes and grabbed his hand pulling him out of the restaurant. They walked a little bit until she was sure they were far enough away from the Waffle House and sat him down on a bench.

"Shh, it's ok" Lonnie said rubbing his back as he tried to breath.

"I'm sorry" Jay said putting his head down

"Audrey's a bitch. She's just mad that no matter how many times she flirted with you, you never really showed any interest in her"

"Are you sure she doesn't belong on the Isle?" Jay asked

Lonnie laughed and hugged him.

"Is this ok?" Lonnie asked

Jay just nodded and hugged her back.

"Lonnie I" Jay said before Lonnie stopped him

"I don't care Jay. You don't owe me an explantation" Lonnie said

Jay swallowed hard and blinked a few times. "She's right though"

"It doesn't matter" Lonnie said

Jay just looked at her.

"I will split pancakes and waffles with you whenever you want ok?" Lonnie said giving him a small smile

"I just want you to keep talking to be ok? And to take care of yourself" Lonnie said

"One day, I promise" Jay said quietly

"Let's forget we ever saw them and enjoy our walk home, ok?" Lonnie asked meeting his eyes

Jay nodded and Lonnie went to stand up when Jay tugged her arm.

"I'm lucky to have you" Jay said

"Me too" Lonnie said smiling taking his hand as he got up

"I'm sorry I left you there. I just needed to get away from her and what she was saying and I panicked again" Jay said

"It's ok. As soon as Audrey said it I saw you panic. It's why I kept talking so you get go" Lonnie said gently

"You're the best" Jay said squeezing her hand

"Just don't ever make me go into a mens bathroom" Lonnie said laughing

"That's fair" Jay said laughing "Girls bathrooms are much nicer" he added

"Huh?" Lonnie asked him confused but laughing

"Hey guys what's up?" Evie asked walking hand in hand with Doug

"Just coming back from dinner. How's the ice cream?" Lonnie asked smiling

"Sooo good" Evie gushed

"Thought you were studying blueberry?" Jay asked teasing

"We finished and decided we needed ice cream. We can walk back if you guys want some" Doug offered

"I'm full, Lon?" Jay asked

"I can't eat anything else. We split pancakes and waffles" Lonnie said

"Yummy" Evie said knowing it was Jay's favorite

"Breakfast for dinner is the best invention ever" Jay said

The other three just laughed

"You ok? You seemed to be laughing when we walked up?" Evie asked him

"There was an Audrey incident, but I'm ok" Jay said truthfully

"I thought I was going to have to check on him in the men's bathroom but he came out. Then he told me the women's bathrooms are much nicer" Lonnie said

"Oh that" Evie said

"I didn't say anything" Jay said

"What is happening?" Doug asked

"They speak in code" Lonnie said

"Jay go for it" Evie said sitting on the bench with her ice cream

"You sure?" Jay asked raising an eye

"Yea I'm ok with it" Evie said

The rest sat with her and Jay nodded.

"When we first got here. Evie would go to the bathroom after every meal. It didn't take me long to catch on. At first I just went and waited for her but then when I realized it was becoming a problem I started following her in. I only got caught once. Told Fairy Godmother that she was sick and I just wanted to make sure my dear friend was ok" Jay said

"I'm guessing she didn't question it?" Lonnie asked laughing

"Not a word" Jay said smirking

"She thought it was nice I was looking out for her"

"So what happened?" Lonnie asked

"I'm a lot better now, it surprisingly didn't take long for me to accept what was happening once I decided I needed help. It was more of a reaction to how I was raised. I still need to be reminded or reassured but I'm a lot better" Evie said

* * *

_"Evie how much longer are you going to keep this up? Jay said flopping onto her bed as he called out to the bathroom_

_Carlos had taken Dude for a walk and Mal was plotting how they were going to get the wand._

_"Just until we get the want and go back to the Isle" Evie said walking out of the bathroom_

_Her face was flushed and her hair was pulled up into a messy bun. Jay handed her the blue water from her nightstand and she sat next to him._

_"That's my point though, we've only been here a week, you should eat while you can" Jay said_

_"You know my mother will lock me away if she ever found out how much I've eaten here" Evie said_

_"You don't actually eat, though" Jay said trying not to be annoyed with her_

_"Does a part of you not want to go back?" Jay asked thinking about how he was coming to like Tourney and Auradon_

_"I mean of course, but we promised Mal, and our parents"_

_"I'm not entirely convinced Mal is doing this because she wants to" Jay said_

_"Jay you know what our parents will be like if we don't" Evie said_

_"I know. I just... it's part of the reason I sorta want to stay. When I told Mal it might not be so bad to live here she went all dragon on me and yea it reminded me of what I used to do on the isle but the thought of going back and having to steal everything doesn't seem so appealing now"_

_"We can't just all split up" Evie said surprised_

_"I know, and I'll do whatever we all decide but I could get used to all this" Jay said_

_"Me too" Evie said_

_"Well if we are going through with it, at least eat. You'll be hungry soon enough" Jay said getting off the bed_

_He wasn't sure if Mal or Carlos knew that Evie's eating struggles had flared up again but he knew Mal was most likely too preoccupied with helping her mother take over the world and he figured Carlos was enjoying not being stressed out all the time._

* * *

_"So it happened pretty quick then once you guys got here?" Lonnie asked_

_"Yea, after the first few days. I mean we all actually felt better because there was enough food to eat, and fresh food at that. Evie went back to purging or restricting only after a few days and it continued even after we turned good._

* * *

_The four of them were at dinner when Mal got a text to go hang out with Ben, Carlos took Dude on long walks after dinner every night and once again it was just him and Evie._

_Jay could see her absentmindedly running a hand over her stomach._

_"Evie" Jay said gently. He had been researching eating habits once they decided to stay and realized Evie likely had an eating disorder. The pictures horrified him, they looked worse than the kids back on the Isle, but he didn't know how to get her to stop. She had been throwing up most of what she ate, especially after the Chad incident and he was getting concerned._

_"Why don't we go for a walk, it's a nice night" Jay said grabbing his and Evie's tray_

_"Um sure" Evie said nervously_

_As soon as Jay turned with their trays she quickly walked over to the girl's bathroom and went in. That was the thing with them being reformed villains, they could still sneak around. As soon as Jay turned around he knew where she had gone. He groaned and made his way over to the bathroom and has his hand on the door when he heard his name. He turned around to see a fairly stunned Fairy Godmother._

_"What do you think you are going?" She asked horrified_

_"It's Evie, she's sick. Mal's with Ben, Carlos had to walk dude. I just want to make sure dear Evie is ok and get her back to her room" Jay said laying it on thick. He felt bad lying to her but he knew Evie needed to trust him in order to work through her eating disorder, or at least that's what showed up on the internet._

_"Oh my, poor thing. Why don't I check on her" Fair Godmother said sympathetically_

_"If it's ok, we've been taking care of each other for years. Our parents didn't exactly bring us soup and blankets. I think she'd be more comfortable with me, you know she's working on being less vain. I don't want that to set her back" Jay said standing firm_

_"Well if you need anything, please come get me" Fairy Godmother said_

_"Thank you" Jay said. He waited for her to walk away and pushed open the door._

_He heard her vomiting and pushed the stall door open. She had tears in her eyes and Jay just grabbed her hair and rubbed her back. He had an ultimatum whether she was going to like it or not._

_"Shh, it's ok. I'm here" He soothed_

_Evie finished and leaned back against Jay. She had been increasing these sessions which was making her fairly weak and he was concerned._

_Evie looked up at his with sad eyes, he got himself and then her to her feet and pulled her in for a hug and let her cry._

_"Come on, let's get you back to your room. Fairy Godmother thinks your sick, she saw me coming in here" Jay said quietly_

_Evie cleaned herself up and turned around to the door when she wobbled. Jay instantly caught her and put his arm around her._

_"I turned too quickly" Evie said, seeing the worry on his face_

_"Let's get you out of here" Jay said tightly_

_He put one had behind her back and the other behind her legs and carried her back to her dorm. She had her face buried in his neck and was crying._

_Once they were safely back in her room, he handed her a sports drink that he now stashed in there for moments like this._

_Jay took a good look at her and she was pale, her face sunken, she looked like she hadn't been sleeping._

_"Evie" Jay said gently_

_"Can I change first, my belly still hurts" Evie said, not meeting his eyes_

_Jay just nodded and got her clean pajamas out of her drawer, Evie stood up to go to the bathroom and if Jay hand't been trying to hand them to her she would have faceplanted on the ground._

_"Let me help" He said gently leading her to the bathroom._

_Once Evie was safely in bed and had some of the sports drink Jay sat on her bed, directly looking at her._

_"This ends now" Jay said_

_Evie just looked at him so he continued._

_"Either you let me get you help, or I tell Fairy Godmother" Jay finally said. He felt his heart in his throat and knew this was not going to be easy_

_"I'm fine" Evie said crossing her arms_

_"You're not fine" Jay said louder than he intended to "You're skin and bones Evie. Since we decided to be good and stay you lost the weight you had gained and then some. You have been throwing up after every meal, you look more malnourished than you did on the Isle. You're lacking energy. I mean do you even still get your period? What you are doing can really harm your overall health Evie, it needs to end" Jay said worriedly_

_"What someone gives you internet access and you suddenly become a doctor?" Evie spat_

_"No, but it doesn't take long to learn that what you're doing and at the rate you are doing it can seriously mess you up. Your teeth, your throat, stomach, baby making stuff, it throws your concentration. You haven't had great nutrition before this, this could be more serious for you. Evie I can basically see your spine and ribs through your shirt. You've always been thin, but this is dangerous"_

_"What do you know? You're starting to lose some of those abs" Evie spat back_

_"Yea I might be but I've also gained strength and speed, quicker recovery after practice because there's actual food to eat here"_

_"Just because you want to eat candy and gain weight doesn't mean I have to" Evie said angrily_

_"Evs I'll do anything to get you help but I don't like lying to Carlos and Mal and Fairy Godmother. It's getting hard keeping track of the lies. Doug is getting suspicious too. I mean you can only not be hungry so much or have your stomach act up or a stomach bug or cramps so many times before one of them tells Fairy Godmother. Seriously Evie you can't have a stomach bug every other day and have cramps on those alternating days. Doug even said you've been sick a lot lately and Carlos asked Mal how cramps work because you've had them so much" Jay said sadly_

_"Leave it alone" Evie said "I'm fine"_

_"Seriously Evie?! You're not fine. You have till the end of the week to either tell me you want help or to tell Fairy Godmother yourself or I'm getting you help myself. I didn't steal food for you for years and take care of you every-time your mom made mean comments that you know weren't true for you to starve yourself here without caring about hurting yourself or others" Jay said yelling_

_Evie didn't say anything, she slapped Jay across the face. He was stunned as soon as her hand hit his face. He didn't even react or reach out to stop her. He sat there for a second before standing up, touching his cheek._

_"Fine, die, leave me too, what do I care" Jay said sadly. He was angry and frustrated and felt tears forming. If he couldn't protect Evie from herself he would go to Fairy Godmother and take the chances of her hating him, at least she would be alive._

_Jay sulked back to his room and slammed the door open and Carlos jumped as he walked in._

_"Whoa, what's wrong?" Carlos asked_

_"Nothing" Jay said angrily_

_"Yea not buying it" Carlos said_

_"Whatever" Jay mumbled_

_"You know what's going on with Evie? Mal said she shouldn't have cramps this much but she hasn't said anything to her" Carlos said_

_"Whatever, she can do whatever she wants" Jay said slamming the bathroom door_

_Carlos sat there confused and texted Evie with no response._

_Later, Jay was laying there in the dark, he couldn't fall asleep. Evie slapped him, she wouldn't listen. No one knew how bad she had gotten except him. He really regretted going to the girls room to ask her to clean one of the turn burns he got from Tourney but she was always gentle and he was used to her patching him up. That's when he saw her throwing up her lunch. She promised him that she was doing better and it was a one time thing. He felt like he let her down, he couldn't protect her from this. He laid in bed thinking that maybe this was bigger than him and figured risking their friendship was worth her still being alive. Carlos was passed out in his bed, Jay got up and laid on the floor. He finally felt like he was asleep when he heard his phone go off. He groaned at the message but got up anyway._

_Evie had snuck over to the boys room in the middle of the night and texted Jay to let her inside._

_"What's wrong?" Jay said rubbing his eyes as he opened the main door to the dorm lobby. He didn't wait for Evie to answer and just turned and walked back to his room, Evie trailing behind. He was still mad at her, but according to his research, she was losing control and taking it out on him._

_Jay had on red pajama bottoms but hadn't bothered to put a shirt on, his hair was in a messy bun and he threw on his sneakers since they were the closest to the door._

_"I'm really hungry" Evie said quietly_

_"No shit" Jay deadpanned as he walked up the stairs_

_"Jay" Evie half whined_

_"Evs I didn't constantly steal food for you on the Isle, or get this" Jay said pointing to his scar. He hand't thought to throw a shirt on and really hoped no one would be around at this hour of the night since it was three in the morning. "For you to starve yourself here with plenty of food to eat. We've been good for a few months now, you aren't going back to your mother. It's time for you to start eating. I told you I don't know how much longer I can cover for you" Jay said scrubbing a hand over his face _

_"I'm sorry I slapped you" Evie said tears forming '_

_"My father did much worse. I'm fine. Why are you even here it's the middle of the freaking night" Jay said as they walked the hallway to his door "you better not wake Carlos, he's finally sleeping"_

_"How do you know?" Evie said _

_"Because I don't sleep. I have my own shit Evie, but at least I'm not starving myself and lying to my friends"_

_"I'm sorry" Evie said, tears forming _

_"Yea you've said that before" Jay said stopping in front of his door "Screw it, you're not going to wake Carlos and scare him. He'll never sleep again" Jay said knowing that his younger roommate's nightmares were finally dissipating._

_Jay lead her down to one of the study rooms on his floor and lead her inside. _

_Jay had no sooner closed the door and sat in the chair before Evie started pacing and talking quickly. _

_"Evie, what. Slow down" Jay said trying to clear his head _

_He heard words but none of them were forming sentences. _

_Jay stood up and she finally stopped and looked at him. _

_"I'm sorry" She said voice trembling "I...I don't know how to stop it" Evie said letting her tears fall _

_All of Jay's resolve melted and he hugged her tightly. He could feel each rib, shoulder and spine through her sweatshirt and her pajama bottoms hung off of her. He was mad and worried but he couldn't not comfort Evie. _

_"Shh, it's ok" Jay said holding her tightly _

_"I'm sorry I smacked you, I'm sorry I lied. I'm sorry you keep covering for me. I don't...I don't know how to get my mother's voice out of my head telling me I'm too ugly or fat" Evie said through her tears _

_They had been through this before, it wasn't so much Evie's doing as it was her mothers. _

_"I got you ok. Just let it all out" Jay said, not letting her go _

_He held her for what felt like and eternity. She finally stopped shaking in his arms and he sat her down. _

_"In the morning we will go to Fairy Godmother. I'm sure she will be discreet but I can't help you do this anymore. You told me you were handling it, and I aided in it because I trusted you. You can hate me forever I don't care but I can and will carry you to her office and tell her everything. At least that way you can get help because it's out of control and you're hurting yourself" Jay said taking a deep breath _

_"I couldn't hate you" Evie said, eyes welling up _

_"You need to get a handle on this Evie, god, Evie do you know what it would do to me? to Carlos or Mal if something happened to you?" Jay asked voice wavering "I have three people that I know have my back, I can't lose one" Jay said meeting her eyes_

_"I don't want to do it, I never did. It just, I know it would make my mom proud" Evie said trying to not cry _

_"You need to do what will make you proud, not her" Jay said putting his hand on top of hers. _

_"I...I can't do this any more" Evie said crying _

_"You don't have too" Jay said hugging her tightly again "You're not alone Evie. We'll get you some help and work through it" Jay said _

_"My mom?" Evie said looking up at him _

_"Your mom will have to accept you're a strong woman who can do what she wants and that she can't hurt you like she used to" Jay said _

_"No more lies, Evie" Jay said sternly_

_"I know" Evie said nodding _

_"Why don't you text Mal, tell her you're safe here and take my bed" Jay said rubbing his eyes _

_"You still don't sleep in it?" Evie asked concerned _

_"We have enough issues to deal with right now but no I don't" _

_"Will you lay with me then?" Evie asked _

_"Evs" Jay said groaning _

_"We need each other" Evie said firmly _

_"Fine" Jay said shivering. He was cold and tired and relieved that he no longer had to cover for her _

_"I'm sorry about calling you fat, you're far from it" Evie said _

_"It's fine, stop checking me out, it's weird. You're like my sister" Jay said giving her a smirk _

_"You do have some nice abs" Evie admitted _

_"Come on, let's go to bed" Jay said putting an arm around her shoulders_

_"Jay" Evie said putting a hand on his chest_

_"Yea" He said yawning _

_"I'm sorry for hitting you, you don't deserve it. I just lashed out and it doesn't make it ok, I know with your dad it must have hurt more" Evie said sadly _

_"I get why you did it. It didn't bring back great memories but I'm ok" Jay said _

_"Thank you, for everything" Evie said hugging him _

_"You're gonna be ok" Jay said hugging her back _

_"I love you" Evie said into his chest _

_"Love you too, blueberry" Jay said putting his cheek on the top of her head. _

* * *

Present day reactions will be in the next one! Let me know if you want to see a flashback of Jay and Evie's conversation with Fairy Godmother too and if you think I Mal and Carlos should be there as well.

My general idea is Jay finding himself and his happiness in the present and growing his relationships with Lonnie and his friends, but also showing how he had to be the one to keep it all together when they first arrived and how he felt like he had to protect his friends even though he also needed time to adjust.

Thanks for all the support. It seems like most people want to see all of the characters so it will focus on Lonnie and Jay because Jay is severely underrated and totally needed more screen time. I sometimes don't know if he's too OOC, but please let me know what you think! If there's any ideas or suggestions let me know and I will try to work them in! Don't forget to review!


	13. Chapter 13

_"Evs get in bed ok, text Mal to bring you clothes in the morning and that we all need to talk" Jay said quietly as they walked into his and Carlos's room_

_"Jay?" Carlos asked rolling over_

_"Yea it's me" Jay said quietly_

_"What's going on?" Carlos asked groggily_

_"Nothing ok? Just go back to sleep" He said soothingly_

_"Evie?" Carlos asked trying to make out who the body was behind Jay_

_"Go to sleep Carlos" Jay said_

_"Where were you?" Carlos asked_

_"I went on a walk" Jay said_

_"It's the middle of the night" Carlos said looking at his phone_

_"Yea so why are you up?" Jay asked_

_"Nightmare" Carlos said quietly_

_"I'm sorry I wasn't here" Jay said guiltily walking over to sit on his bed_

_"So where were you in the middle of the night?" Carlos asked_

_"Evie snuck out and came here, I had to go let her in and then we talked" Jay said closing his eyes. He was exhausted, he usually passed out by this point and the lack of sleep was really starting to affect him_

_"Evs?" Carlos asked_

_"Yea" Evie said in a small voice_

_"What's going on?" Carlos said_

_"What's with all the questions tonight?" Jay asked_

_"Because you two are sneaking around in the middle of the night together and I woke up in the middle of a nightmare and you were gone!" Carlos yelled_

_Jay knew Carlos's nightmares were bad, he felt terrible that Carlos woke up alone but he was only one person._

_"It's not what you think" Jay said_

_"I've been having a hard time and I slapped Jay earlier after he told me that he was going to tell Fairy Godmother and after not being able to sleep I knew I needed to talk to him" Evie said sitting on Carlos's bed as well._

_"Evie what's going on, does this have anything to do with all those cramps you've been getting? Why did you slap Jay?" Carlos asked_

_"So many questions for the middle of the night" Jay said laying down he heard Carlos quietly yell at him that he was crushing his legs_

_"We'll explain in the morning ok? It just has to do with some eating issues that I wasn't able to leave on the Isle" Evie said_

_"Evie" Carlos said reaching out to her_

_"I'm gonna get help" Evie said_

_"Why didn't you tell me?" Carlos asked "How long have you known?" Looking at Jay_

_"Dude, I can't do this anymore. I need to sleep but I can't" Jay said_

_"Jay's right. It's late, we have school tomorrow. We should get some sleep. Jay has known about my eating problems and was giving me the space to take care of it. I haven't and he stepped in, I got pissed and now it's four in the morning" Evie said_

_"Come on get in bed Evie" Jay said getting up_

_"You said you needed sleep" Evie said_

_"I'll sleep on the floor. It's the only place I can sleep"_

_"You said you would lay with me" Evie said_

_"Alright fine" Jay said as Evie got into her bed_

_"Carlos you ok now?" Jay asked him_

_Before Carlos could say anything Evie told him to come into Jay's bed._

_"Yea I'll be on the floor. Not enough room with both of you" Jay said grabbing one of the pillows on his bed_

_"Please, you'll be safe in the bed, I promise" Evie said not fully understanding his hatred of a bed._

_"Fine" Jay said getting in and putting the blankets up_

_"Get some sleep guys" Jay said putting his arm around Evie._

_She grabbed Jay's other hand and held on to it, hoping she could comfort him._

_The next morning Mal came over with clothes and makeup for Evie. Once the boys let her in she demanded to know what was going on._

_"Hey" Evie said quietly as Mal came over to her_

_"What's going on?" Mal asked "Why am I here so early?"_

_"We need to go see Fairy Godmother" Evie said quietly_

_"Why?" Mal asked_

_Evie just looked at Jay, pleading for him to help._

_"Evie has been throwing up her food again. I've been covering for her and not it's more than I can handle" Jay said quietly_

_"Why didn't you tell me?" Mal asked looking sad_

_"I technically didn't tell Jay either, he caught me" Evie said_

_Mal just gave Evie a look._

_"Guys we have to get going if we want to catch her before first bell" Carlos said_

_They all nodded and get ready to head out. Evie was the last one in the room and stopped when she was a few feet from the door. Jay noticed she wasn't in the hallway and went back into his room._

_"I can and will carry you" Jay said_

_"I'm coming" Evie said not moving_

_"Evie, it's for your own good" Jay said pleading with her_

_"I can't" Evie said_

_"You can. We're all right here with you" Jay said holding his hand out_

_Evie nodded and took a shaky step forward._

_They four arrived at Fairy Godmothers office. Her assistant wasn't going to let them in, figuring it was a prank. However Fairy Godmother walked in and saw the four tried VKs standing there._

_"We won't take up much time Fairy Godmother, but we need to talk" Jay said speaking up_

_"Of course, dear ones" She said leading them into her office_

_Jay said Evie in the chair, Mal next to her. Carlos sat on the sofa on the side and Jay stood by the door in case Evie tried to run._

_"Is everything alright? Are you children lacking anything?" Fairy Godmother asked worriedly_

_"It's about Evie" Carlos said looking at Evie_

_"Evie, sweetheart what's wrong?" Fairy Godmother asked gently_

_"I..I'm fine, sorry to waste your time" Evie said getting up and bolting to the door_

_"I will sit on you" Jay said leading her back to the chair_

_"That's not necessary" Fair Godmother said slightly alarmed_

_Jay stood behind the chair and put his hands on Evie's shoulders._

_"You have to promise you won't send us back" Evie said, eyes watering_

_"Evie you're safe here" Fairy Godmother reassured her_

_"Don't be mad at Jay for lying to you yesterday and Carlos and Mal only just found out" Evie said_

_Jay froze for a second, of course she lead with that_

_"Evie" Jay said gently but firm_

_"I've been having a hard time eating" Evie finally said looking at her hands_

_Jay could feel her shoulders start to shake so he took over._

_"Evie has been throwing up her food. I caught her a few weeks ago, and I've been trying to help her but it hasn't been enough" Jay said looking down "I'm sorry I lied and I 'm sorry I went into the girls bathroom"_

_"Don't be mad at Jay" Evie said wiping her eyes_

_"I'm not mad" Fairy Godmother said compassionately "You should have come to me sooner. Evie we can get you help"_

_"How?" Evie asked, voice breaking_

_Jay leaned down to hug her and she didn't let him go._

_"We're going to start by sending you over to the nutrition office. They are great and deal with all of our athletes" Fairy Godmother said_

_"Why didn't I think of that" Jay said quietly_

_"It's ok Jay" Fairy Godmother said "Evie you will need to tell them everything ok? I will sit in as well so you don't need to keep talking about it"_

_Evie nodded._

_"You three better go or you will be late for first bell. Evie will come with me"_

_Jay felt Evie stiffen and spoke up._

_"With all respect Fairy Godmother I need to stay with Evie" Jay said_

_"Jay you need to go to class, you finally are not failing" Mal said_

_"Evie needs me" Jay said tightly_

_"Please" Evie pleaded_

_"Alright, but you will need to make up the work"_

_"I will, I promise" Jay said_

_"Ok, you two go to class and I will take Evie and Jay over"_

_They all got up and nodded, Carlos and Mal hugged Evie and went to class. Fairy Godmother still couldn't believe how much they took care of each other for supposedly being reformed bad kids._

_"You did great" Jay said putting his arm around her_

_They three walked over to the nutrition office and went in and waited. Maggie came out and got them, Jay was happy Evie was meeting with her. Some of the others were a little harsher but Maggie had never made him feel stupid for not under standing fruits and vegetables._

_"Hi, I'm Maggie. I'm one of the nutritionists here. I've met with Jay a few times for Tourney" She said shaking Evie's hand_

_"I'm Evie" She said quietly_

_"Why don't we go into my office" Maggie said leading them to a room that overlooked the Tourney field._

_"So Evie tell me a little about yourself" Maggie said_

_"I just came here from the Isle" Evie said looking down_

_"Something she doesn't know Evs, like why your here" Jay said rolling his eyes_

_"Jay" Maggie said smiling_

_"Sorry, Evie needs help" Jay said getting frustrated_

_"They came to me this morning" Fairy Godmother said_

_Evie looked at Jay, he nodded and put his hand on top of hers. Evie closed her eyes and took a deep breath._

_"I um, on the Isle we didn't have a lot of food. If I did have more my mother did not like it when I ate it. She was very critical of how I looked and how I ate. And those thoughts continued here" Evie said_

_"Evie" Jay said_

_"What Jay?" Evie said pulling her hand away and getting angry_

_"Tell the freaking truth, it's not just thoughts" Jay said getting annoyed that she was down playing it._

_"No" Evie yelled_

_"Ok, Jay why don't you step out and give us a few minutes" Maggie said gently_

_"No" Evie said quietly shaking her head_

_"Evie you need to tell us what is going on, sweetie" Fairy Godmother said_

_"I can't" Evie said crying_

_"Evs can I tell them?" Jay asked gently, frustration gone_

_Evie nodded and put her head in her hands. Jay put his hand on her back and spoke up._

_"On the Isle if she thought her mother would tell her she ate too much she would throw it back up. Here, we all gained weight rather easily because we were no longer lacking fresh fruits and vegetables and when Evie realized it her eating problems returned. I caught her one day throwing up her lunch. She told me it was the first time since we had gotten here but I didn't believe her. I started watching her closely and she started to do it more and more, most of the time she would tell me and kept saying she wouldn't do it anymore. She almost passed out twice yesterday and when I hugged her I could feel her ribs and spine. I told her she needed help" Jay said, voice growing thick. He closed his eyes and breathed, not allowing himself to cry inside the athletic building._

_"Oh Evie" Fairy Godmother said_

_"Evie how do you feel physically after you throw up?" Maggie asked_

_"Um" Evie said looking down at her hands "Fine"_

_"Evie, there's no point in lying. I told you either I was telling someone or you were. You're choice but I will tell them if you don't" Jay cautioned_

_"Ok" Evie said dragging it out_

_"Evie I just want to know so I can better help you" Maggie said gently_

_"How are you going to help me?" Evie asked_

_Jay just smirked, of course she wanted to know what she was getting out of it. Spoken like a true Vk._

_"I can help you better understand that your mother can't hurt you here, that you can have a positive relationship with food and your body and I can teach you how best to fuel you're body. I hear word on campus is that your make some pretty amazing dresses" Maggie said_

_Evie's head perked up at the mention of fashion._

_"I do ok" Evie said smiling_

_"Well I'm getting married next year and haven't found a wedding dress yet. But you're going to need your strength" Maggie said_

_"A few times lately, my hands have hurt really bad from sewing and I get headaches" Evie said_

_"It also means your dehydrated in addition to not eating enough" Maggie said_

_Evie nodded and continued "I'm cold a lot" Evie said_

_"It's common with those struggling with eating" Maggie said_

_"I have to ask you some personal questions. Jay can you give us a second?" Maggie asked_

_"He stays" Evie said shakily_

_"Are you sure?" Maggie asked_

_"I can wait right outside, I don't want to make you feel awkward" Jay said_

_"It's already awkward" Evie said giving him a small laugh_

_"He stays" Evie said to Maggie_

_"Ok" Maggie said nodding_

_"Evie, how many layers of clothes have you been wearing?" Maggie asked_

_Evie exhaled before answering. "I've been adding more, to try and...try and hide that I was getting thinner" Evie said turning red_

_"Why didn't you want anyone to know?"_

_"It was only after Jay found out" Evie said_

_Jay put his hand on top of hers again._

_"What do you think about when you decide that you shouldn't eat or that you need to get rid of what you ate?"_

_Jay cringed knowing this wasn't going to go well._

_"I don't know" Evie said eyes welling up_

_"Evie, I need you to be honest with me. Please" Maggie said_

_"She always told me that I wasn't thin enough or... or pretty enough" Evie said starting to cry_

_"You're doing great" Jay whispered and put his arm around her_

_"She would tell me that I would never find a prince to love me if I was too big, that in order to be loved I needed to be...to be thin and that if I did as she said I would be thin and then...and then she would...she would love me" Evie said crying_

_She had only told Jay this once on the Isle, he could feel himself getting angry and his eyes welling up as Evie said this. Evie was crying and shaking so Jay stood up and pulled her to him for a hug._

_"Shh, it's ok. It's ok. It's out now, she can't control you like that here. You are pretty enough enough, you are good enough no matter what" Jay said hugging her tightly as she cried_

_Fairy Godmother had tears in her eyes, not only how a mother could tell her own daughter these things, but also the way Jay comforted Evie and the way Evie relied on Jay for support. She had to have disciplined them in the beginning when they first got here, but deep down they were any other teenagers dealign with typical teenager things only their parents caused most the their pain._

_"Evie" Maggie said gently getting up from her desk and placing a hand on her shoulder._

_Evie didn't say anything but she looked up at Maggie_

_"How do you see yourself, do you think you're pretty?" Maggie asked_

_Evie nodded her head no and cried into Jay's chest. She was supposed to be a princess, she was supposed to find a prince to marry and she managed to screw that up and now she had to admit that she wasn't good enough to find a prince. She was tired and her head hurt. She felt like she would faint if Jay didn't have such a strong grip on her._

_"I see a very beautiful, smart and talented young lady" Maggie said_

_Evie shook her head no into Jay's shoulder and he squeezed her a little tighter._

_"Evie, can we promise each other something?" Maggie asked_

_"What?" Evie said quietly_

_"Can you promise me that you will be completely honest with me, and let me help you. It's not about long term results, right now we will focus on day to day things like teaching you the proper way to fuel your body, how if you have everything in moderation you don't need to starve yourself. But honesty is my big thing, I don't care if you mess up one day or have a bad day. I won't get angry with you and blame you, I just need you to tell me the truth. Do you think you can handle that?" Maggie asked her gently_

_"I'll try" Evie said wiping her eyes_

_"That's all I'm asking" Maggie said smiling at her "Now can you promise me something else?"_

_Evie nodded and sat back down into her own chair._

_"Promise me you can try and fit me in for a dress consultation one day this week if you're up for it?" Maggie asked_

_"Are...are you sure. I mean I've never done a wedding dress" Evie said, thinking she had been kidding earlier_

_"Positive, I haven't found anything I like. I've seen what you have created for your friends and the students here. I'm very confident that you can do it. If you're not up for it, I totally understand"_

_Evie looked at Jay who gave her a smile "Don't look at me, I can't sew"_

_"I would love too" Evie said smiling_

_"Now I only have a few more questions and then we will set up a schedule to meet to go over proper nutrition and the reasoning behind how all this started" Maggie said_

_Evie nodded and Jay tried to unclasp his hand from Evie's, she had a death grip on it and his hand was starting to cramp. She only held on tighter._

_"Have you weighed yourself recently, has there been a drastic change?" Maggie asked_

_"You want me to stay for this?" Jay asked knowing these were personal things to Evie_

_Evie nodded yes and just gave her back a reassuring nod._

_"I lost about fifteen pounds since we got to Auradon" Evie said embarrassed_

_"Have you had to buy smaller sized clothes?"_

_"I pretty much make my own, but I have had to take them in and make new ones altogether" Evie said, eyes welling up again._

_"Has your hair, nails or skin changed since being here?"_

_"My hair was thicker and healthier, but lately its been thin and brittle, same thing with my nails"_

_Maggie nodded as she made notes and continued her questions "Aside from your vomiting episodes have you noticed other changes in your digestion?"_

_Evie looked at Jay "This one's on you, I don't know how you've been feeling" Jay said back to her_

_"I guess so" Evie said nodding_

_"Any problems with schoolwork?"_

_"She's been spacey lately, just out of it" Jay said before Evie could_

_"Sleeping ok?"_

_"Not really" Evie said looking down_

_"Last one, has your period changed at all since being here?"_

_Evie looked at Jay again and he turned a shade redder "I can't answer that one either Evs" He said squeezing her hand_

_"It wasn't normal on the Isle but then here it sorta was but not now" Evie said looking at Jay's hand on top of hers._

_"Thank you for being honest Evie" Maggie said sweetly_

_Evie sat there for a minute before the magnitude of everything she said hit her._

_"Oh god, what have I done. It's everything you said, what if it's too late and and I can't leave you and Mal and Carlos" Evie said crying_

_"Whoa, Evie. I mean yea it's what the website said but don't cry" Jay said startled, any previous embarrassment wearing off_

_"Evie, sweetie what do you mean?" Fairy Godmother asked concerned_

_"Jay...Jay told me what I was doing could have consequences and everything Maggie asked. It's all bad stuff" Evie said crying_

_"Evie I was mad and worried. I wanted you to see that you were only hurting yourself. I'm sorry if I scared you but you wouldn't listen" Jay said hugging her again_

_"Evie, everything you are describing does have consequences, but I don't think that you are there yet. There's others Jay didn't mention, that's why it's important for you to be honest. At our first visit we will do a full workup, see where your health is and then in three months we'll check again. Don't worry, let me handle this. You don't have to go through this alone, I promise you that if you sincerely want to get better and you're honest with yourself, your friends and me you will get better" Maggie said handing her some tissues._

_"Why don't you two go back to class and Evie I will see you tomorrow when school is over" Maggie said_

_"Fairy Godmother, can we please be excused for the day" Jay asked, drained_

_"Alright, just for today" She agreed_

_"Evie, 3:15 tomorrow ok?" Maggie said_

_"Evs I have practice" Jay said sadly_

_"It's ok, I think I need to do this myself for a little" Evie said_

_"You can bring one of your friends if you wants, I'm ok with it" Maggie said, not wanting to scare her_

_"No, I'll be ok. I'll fill them in after"_

_"Ok, why don't you two go rest and I'll send some food up to your rooms" Fairy Godmother said_

_Evie and Jay looked at each other._

_"Whose room?" She asked smiling_

_"Mine, please" Evie said_

_"Of course" Fair Godmother said, thanking Maggie on her way out._

_"Hey Evs, wait outside for a second. I'll be right out"_

_"Ok" Evie said grabbing her red backpack and making sure her makeup didn't look too bad._

_"Thanks Maggie, I'm ok, I'm not the one with eating issues" Jay said sincerely_

_"You're a good friend Jay. I kinda figured when you asked me what it would do to your period and if makeup can make you look less skinny" Maggie said smiling to him_

_"Right" Jay said embarrassed "I didn't know what else to do"_

_"You did the right thing, maybe get the adults involved a little sooner. I'll see you tomorrow for the team meeting after you guys practice. Coach wants to make sure you're all eating properly for the start of playoffs next week" Maggie said_

_"Thank Maggie" Jay said walking out_

_"Ready?" Jay asked as he put his arm around Evie as they walked back to her room._

_"Thank you" Evie said hugging him_

_"I just want you to get better" Jay said_

* * *

"Oh, Evie, I had no idea" Lonnie said hugging her

"I'm a lot better now. I just needed it to be reinforced that my mother's ideas were crazy and that it wasn't what I wanted" Evie said making sure the few tears that fell were gone

"You can always talk to me. I've been through it too, for different reasons but Maggie is pretty great"

"She really is, she was one of the first adults I trusted here. And I'm almost done her wedding dress" Evie squealed "But what happened with you?"

Lonnie looked at Jay, he looked confused, trying to figure out why she never said anything.

"Jay, I never you told. It's not something I like to look back on" Lonnie said

"You don't have to tell me if you don't want to" Jay said concerned

"Me either, I'm sorry I had no idea" Evie said

"It's ok. I'm better now. It was all because of stupid swords and shields. My brother was a senior last year when we were freshman, I mean Doug and I. You guys hadn't come yet. But anyway" Lonnie said quickly talking

Jay put his hand on her leg and told her to breath. Lonnie smiled at him and rolled her eyes.

"I wanted to make the team, Chad was the most outspoken obviously and his older brother was co-captain with my brother. My brother didn't have a problem with me trying out. He sad he wouldn't take part in the decision but he told Coach that I had what it took. Long story short I didn't get to try out and I was bummed. So one day I was tutoring with Chad and he had been asking me out"

"God I really hate that guy" Jay said

"It's ok" Lonnie said laughing

"He kept saying how much better I looked then, then I had in eighth grade. He told be that the year before I could have actually tried out for the team but now that I had boobs, hips and an ass, I couldn't"

"I'm gonna kick his ass" Jay said getting agitated

"Jay, I think Lonnie can handle Chad herself" Evie said gently

Jay crossed his arms and waited for Lonnie to continue.

"So I said that if I beat him then I could be on the team. I grew up training with my brother, so I knew I could beat him. Chad took the challenge and said I would have been able to beat him the year before but not know with the curves I had" Lonnie said

"I wanna kick Chad's ass" Evie said

Jay grumbled something and Doug spoke up. "Welcome to my world"

"So I began training with my brother, cutting out any food that tasted good. Living on fruit and vegetable smoothies. I dropped some weight quick but then I kept going. I never didn't like the way I look, yea I mean the transition into highschool sports is always hard trying to get used to your new body but I never had a problem with the way I looked, until Chad. I was sparring with my brother the one day and I passed out. He took the mask off and undid my fencing jacket. I only had a sports bra on and that's when he realized how thin I had become. He told my parents and my field hockey coach and Maggie right away. I was mad at him, so mad at him. I blamed him for not being able to try out, it was all his fault. Anything I could think of. I kept training the way I had been, over the top because I didn't care at that point. I wanted to make the team, I figured at least it would put me in great shape for lacrosse in the spring. My brother had finally convinced me to go on a run with him. He made sure I ate beforehand because I got kinda good at hiding it. And we were running and I kept getting a sharp pain in my leg, my body had been achy for weeks, I was weak, everything hurt and when I collapsed running he knew I had been lying. I couldn't put any weight on it and so he took me to Auradon Memorial right away and we found out I had a stress fracture in my shin and foot. I was in the beginning of the female athlete triad" Lonnie said

"Bro we learned about that in health class, that's serious" Jay said concerned

Evie quickly laughed at how Jay called her bro but also was that concerned.

"I know Jay" Lonnie said taking his hand "I'm ok now"

"I remember you getting injured. Everyone was shocked because you took such good care of your body. We had no idea you were suffering"

"Yea it sucked" Lonnie said nodding

"You're ok now though right?" Jay asked

"I'm fine. I know what I need to do to fuel and protect my body. Chad's an idiot I already know that. Getting injured was the wake up call I needed, injuries can happen anytime but knowing I caused it myself. That hurt more than the injury" Lonnie said

"Thank you for telling me" Evie said hugging her

"If I had known you were struggling sooner I would have" Lonnie said hugging her back

"If you need to talk, you can always talk to me" Lonnie said

"I have my moments, but for the most part I'm back to normal. It's actually been about three months" Evie said, proud of herself

"You did the right thing last time it happened too" Jay said

* * *

_Evie was pacing her room like a crazy person. She had been doing well meeting with Maggie. She learned what she needed to eat and when and how she could even enjoy dessert. Jay helped her come up with some workouts that would strengthen her muscles but not cause her to lose the weight she had gained back. It was her mom's birthday that day. Not that villains celebrated birthdays but of course her mother did because she was obsessed with herself. The day always included Evie pampering her mother and working to the bone. She had been busy with school work and dress designing that she had forgotten until she remembered the date after dinner. Mal was away with Ben meeting some dignitaries and she was left alone with the thoughts of her mother telling her she was getting too fat again._

_"Evie, you're fine. Sure you had two brownies at dinner but it's ok. They were good, just work them off tomorrow. Ugh no, that's not how this works. Enjoy the food you ate and just do better the next day, it's a new day just wake up and eat breakfast" Evie said rubbing her stomach as she paced_

_She was standing in a baggy t-shirt and sweatpants, hoping to hid her nonexistent stomach. As soon as she caught a glimpse of herself in the mirror, she heard her mother's voice. She ran to the bathroom and knelt in front of the toilet._

_"No Evie, stop. You can't keep doing this. This isn't what you want. You've been doing so well, don't do it" Evie said to herself standing back up_

_She was at war with herself and didn't know what to do, half of her wanted to do what she used to do and half of her just wanted to walk out of the bathroom and talk to Maggie in the morning. She chose good before, she can choose good again. Her heart was racing and she was sweaty and panicking. She grabbed her phone and called the one person she knew would talk her out of him._

_"Hey Evie" Jay's voice casually came over the phone "no I paused it" Evie heard him yell_

_"Sorry you're busy" Evie said quickly_

_"Evie?" Jay asked wondering what was going on_

_"It's nothing" Evie said_

_"I'm playing video games. We're not busy. What's up?" Jay said wondering why she was acting so weird_

_"I'm fine" Evie said before she hung up and went back into the bathroom._

_A few minutes later she heard a key in her door and Carlos and Jay ran into the bathroom to find her sitting in front of the toilet crying._

_"Evie" Jay said softly_

_Evie looked up at him with a pleading look and he picked her up and carried her to her bed. Carlos sat on one side of her bed, Jay on the other. Both had concerned looks on their faces._

_"Oh Evs" Carlos said taking her hand_

_"I couldn't do it. I tried to make myself throw up but I couldn't but then I panicked and I called you and then hung up and then I actually thought I was going to throw up from lying" Evie said crying_

_"It's ok" Jay said hugging her "You called us, that's all that matters" Jay said trying to give her positive reinforcement like Maggie had told him to do. She told him that Evie would likely have set backs and that they would need to be supportive._

_"It's not ok" Evie said crying into Jay's shoulder_

_Carlos rubber her back and Jay held her while she cried. "I failed"_

_"Look at me" Jay said taking her head in his hands more forcefully than he expected "You did not fail. Evie a few months ago you would never have tried to stop yourself, you would never have called. This is a big step" Jay said_

_"Evie you did the right thing" Carlos said hugging her_

_"I hung up" Evie sniffled_

_"But we knew something was wrong. That's why we came over" Carlos said_

_"You do have to write it all down though, why you wanted to and you have to tell Maggie. We can go with you if you want" Jay said_

_Evie nodded and grabbed the notebook off her nightstand_

_"It's my moms birthday and I forgot what date it was. I had two brownies at dinner because Carlos grabbed more than he could ever eat even after saving some and I saw myself in the mirror and just felt like shit" Evie said sadly_

_"It's ok. You're safe now. You did the right thing" Jay said_

_"I forgot my moms birthday" Evie said sadly_

_"Birthdays aren't really a thing there" Carlos said_

_"Not when you're the Evil Queen and obsessed with yourself" Evie said_

_"Bad memories?" Jay asked_

_"Yea. And I also felt guilty too, that she was alone on her birthday. I mean I was her slave for the day but still." Evie said sadly_

_"It's ok, you don't have to explain it to us, we get it. Our parents weren't great, but they are still are parents" Carlos said_

_Evie nodded._

_"Why don't you have some water. Carlos and I will stay for a little and we can watch a movie or something. You can come stay with us tonight since Mal's away" Jay said_

_"Can I?" Evie asked_

_"Get your stuff blueberry" Jay said getting off the bed_

_Evie groaned as she got off her bed and grabbed her back. She gagged slightly, causing Carlos and Jay to stare at her._

_"When I started stressing I actually felt sick and trying to make myself throw up before that didn't help. My belly still just feels sick" Evie said_

_"Carlos take her back to our room and I'll see if I can find her some medicine" Jay said_

_"I'm sorry" Evie said_

_"Don't be. I'm really proud of you" Jay said hugging her._

* * *

"It took a lot to call them" Evie said "I was embarrassed and they both were so happy I had been doing well. I didn't want to let them down" Evie said

"I find that the people who love you the most won't be disappointed in you if you mess up" Lonnie said "I figured my brother was going to be pissed when he found out I had been lying but he stayed with me in the hospital the whole time. Basically camped out in mine and Jane's room and he felt bad he didn't catch on, he wasn't mad. He just wanted me to get better" Lonnie said

"Evie you can always come to me" Doug said hugging her

"I know. I've been good lately" Evie said kissing him

"Ugh get a room" Jay said rolling his eyes and laughing

"We better get going or we will be late for curfew" Doug said

Jay and Evie just laughed.

"What?" Doug asked

"Half of our stories end with one of us sneaking out of the dorms and we still have a solid hour before curfew" Jay said laughing

"What Jay means is that the curfew rule has been one of the hardest to follow. We're also good at not getting caught" Evie said

"You guys are something else" Lonnie said laughing

"You can take us out of the Isle, but you can't take all of the Isle out of a VK" Jay said putting his arm around Lonnie

"Don't worry we'll start walking first so you two can make out. Doug you hurt my sister, I come after you" Jay said

"I...I won't" Doug said stammering

"Jay" Evie scolded

"Goodnight" Jay called out

"Goodnight guys" Lonnie said

"Doug's a good guy" Lonnie said to Jay as they were out of earshot of the others

"Yea well Evie's my sister. I know how guys think" Jay said

"Do you?" Lonnie asked turning to look at him

"Well at least how they should not think" Jay said getting flustered

Lonnie loved when she could throw Jay off his game and he would be vulnerable with her.

They walked for little bit before Jay stopped.

"What's wrong?" Lonnie asked

"You would tell me right, if you weren't ok?" Jay asked

"I would, I've been really well for over a year. I promise. If I had known if would have upset you that much I wouldn't have told you" Lonnie said

"No, no. I'm glad you did. Evie lied to me for awhile about her being better so now I always question it" Jay said

"I promise I'm good. I wavered a little back when you first put me on the team but I talked to my brother and I'm good" Lonnie said

"What do you mean?" Jay asked

"Just when you said to stop by practice I thought of how last year Chad said the same thing and then told me I wasn't good enough. It bothered for a few days but I called my brother that night and told him how I felt and he talked me through it. Same thing with the first game. It's kinda hard to hide my boobs once I take my sweatshirt off" Lonnie said awkwardly

"Why didn't you tell me?"

"I don't know. It's not exactly what you share when you're getting a shot at being on the guys team. Oh by the way I'm super nervous. And to he honest with you, you were still a little jackassy" Lonnie said

"I...Ok that's fair" Jay conceded

"Also I don't mind your boobs when you take your sweatshirt off" Jay said grinning

"Yea? Keep dreaming" Lonnie whispered into his ear

Jay felt a chill run down his spine and knew he needed to work out his feelings soon because all he wanted to do was kiss her.

"So" He said swallowing and clearing his head "were you actually nervous for your first game?"

"Yea, I almost had a panic attack that morning"

"Why you were better than everyone but me" Jay said

Lonnie shot him a look and he laughed

"Ok, maybe even me" He said smirking

"I didn't want to let you down" Lonnie said nervously

"You wouldn't have" Jay said seriously

"I just felt like I had to prove that I belonged"

"I know you did. You didn't have to prove it to me" Jay said

"I know" Lonnie said taking a step closer

Jay leaned down to Lonnie and she leaned up. Jay rested his forehead on hers so he wouldn't kiss her.

"Lon" Jay said groaning

"It's ok. Just for this second. You don't need to tell me anything" Lonnie said putting her arms around his stomach

Jay never wanted to lead her on, he tried to make it clear that he needed to work though his emotions before he could tell her how he felt but it was getting harder and harder to not kiss her.

Jay crashed his lips against hers and his hand went to cup her cheek and and neck and he used his other arm to pull her closer to him. His whole body felt like it was tingling, he decided right then and there that he could kiss her forever. She had arched her back and his face followed as she leaned back. He gently bit her lip as he pulled back. He kept his arm tightly around her, not trusting either of them to not fall. He then kissed the top of her head and rested his cheek there.

Lonnie didn't want it to ever stop. When she arched back she brought her hand up to his ear and head and pulled his face with hers. She felt Jay tighten his grip on her back and their bodies were as close as they could possibly get. She felt Jay start to lean away and he gently bit her lip as he pulled back. She could still feel it tingling and when she opened her eyes they were still close together. She was grateful that Jay hadn't let go of her because her legs felt like jello and she wasn't entirely sure she could stand by herself.

"We better get back" Jay said breaking the silence

Lonnie was still shocked at the electricity that went through both of them. They had kissed twice, but this time was must more passionate than comforting as it had been before. She was in a daze and nodded as Jay took her hand to walk her back to her room.

They didn't talk the rest of the way back. Jay seemed just as surprised as her when they reached the girls dorm.

"Goodnight" Jay said letting go of her hand

"Goodnight Jay. Sleep well" Lonnie said

"You too" Jay said still standing there as Lonnie walked up the stairs.

"I gotta tell her how I feel" Jay thought to himself as he walked back to his dorm

* * *

Thanks for all the support. Do you guys think I should drag out Jay and Lonnie a little longer or somehow make him tell her how he feels sooner rather than later? If there's anything you would like to see let me know! Don't forget to review!


	14. Chapter 14

It had been a few days since the VKs had told their friends about the Isle. There was still a lot left untold, but they felt a little better and closer to the AKs. Jay had been busy with the end of semester and the end of Tourney season. Lonnie had texted him but he kept telling her he was busy.

Carlos was dreading going back to their dorm room. The coach had yelled at Jay and kicked him out of Tourney practice. Their games were done for the season but they still had a few practices before the summer break so they would be ready for the shorter fall season.

* * *

They had been practicing for an hour and Jay was exhausted. Usually tourney cleared his head and he felt better, but he didn't have it in him today. He felt slow and weak, he was missing shots and everything was pissing him off more. It was more of a relaxed practice and everyone was joking around. He missed another goral and yelled and tossed his stick. "Jay" One of the assistant coaches warned

He got back in line and missed his next one as well. "Dammit" He yelled

"Jay take five, get some water and then come back over. You're overthinking it"

Jay finally managed to score one goal on an unguarded net when the coaches decided to work on a different drill. He knew it was a non-contact practice but he really didn't care. He was angry and he didn't know why. Well he did, but he couldn't think about that in the middle of practice. He charged though the kill zone and heard the coach yelling at him.

"Jay what are you doing?" Their Coach yelled

Jay ignored him and powered through the kill zone. The coach blew the whistle and Aziz grabbed Jay by the face mask.

"You what gives?" Aziz asked his co-captain

"Get off of me" Jay yelled as he pushed past him

"I'm you're co-captain, remember?" Aziz said getting annoyed

"Screw you" Jay said

Aziz let it go and the coach had them line up for drills

"No contact today gentleman. I mean it Jay" The coach said

Jay just rolled his eyes and ignored Carlos. As they lined up Ben walked over to Jay and took his face mask off. Jay didn't follow.

"Jay what's going on? Is everything ok?" Ben asked concerned

"I'm fine, leave me alone" Jay said walking past

The defense lined up, they were supposed to block but not get hit. Jay clearly didn't care and fully tackled the guy blocking him"

"Jay what did I just say? This is how people get hurt" The coach yelled

"Eight, I'm talking to you" The Coach said getting angrier

"Dude what's your issue today?" Carlos asked knowing his roommate had been acting strange the last few days

He pushed Carlos away and got back in line.

"Oh no you don't. You're done practice for the day. Over here now" The coach yelled.

Jay tossed his stick and helmet and walked off the field.

"Jay, what's going on with you" The Coach asked

"I'm fine" Jay said, continuing to walk

"You're more out of control than you were when you first started. You can talk to me you know. Is it school? Finals coming up?" Coach asked softening

"I said I was fine" Jay said yelling as he walked away faster

"You're benched till further notice"

"Whatever" Jay grumbled "I don't need you or this stupid sport. Good luck winning without me" Jay said stomping away

He went into the athletic building and slammed everything around, he grabbed his back and went back to his dorm. He showered and put on sweats and a tanktop and figured he should probably attempt the mountains of homework he had been ignoring. He was overwhelmed with school, wondering why he told his friends he had been having a hard time, the fact that who knew colleges wanted him to also know how to go to class in addition to tourney, but after today's practice he figured that might now be a concern any longer. He had been ignoring Lonnie which made him feel better for only about thirty seconds. He wanted to go back to the way things were on the Isle, where he cared about nothing. Evie, Mal and Carlos would argue that wasn't true, he cared about them but if he was being honest he only cared about them so they wouldn't realize he was useless and leave him. He had also been avoiding Carlos by being in the library catching up on the work he never bothered to do. But now it was filled of stressed out students and he couldn't take anymore stress. He remembered he had plans with Lonnie tonight, he wasn't actually sure they were still having them since he had ignored he for the last four days but he couldn't not show up. Something inside of him told him that he couldn't alienate the first person in Auradon that actually saw good in him.

He was sitting at the desk in his and Carlos's dorm room when Carlos walked in with dude.

"Bro where have you been the last few days?" Carlos asked, shocked to see his roommate, figuring he would have been hiding out somewhere

"I've been busy" He said not looking up from his history textbook

"You're textbook is even facing the right way I'm impressed" Carlos said getting his own books out

"Yea we have finals soon" Jay said

"Not for a few weeks" Carlos asked confused as to where all this stress was coming from

"Well I didn't exactly start doing my work right away" Jay snapped

"Jay I can help you come up with a study plan for your subjects" Carlos said sitting down at his desk

"I just have to learn all this" Jay said wildly gesturing

"You won't if you try and cram it all in stressed out" Carlos said gently

"Whatever" Jay grumbled

"Dude, what's going on?" Carlos asked "Don't tell me nothing because you don't ever stress about school"

"Did you know that you need good grades to get into the top Tourney schools?" Jay asked slamming his book closed

"Yea, kinda how college works" Carlos said

"Well no one told me until the other day" Jay gruffed

"They told us that our first week here" Carlos said confused

"You think I was listening then?"

"Ok, good point. How behind are you?"

"I don't even know" Jay said, this time with less aggression

"Ok, let me help you come up with a study plan. We can figure out what you still need to learn and then go from there. Meet with your teachers, and you will be fine" Carlos said

"Thanks" Jay said nodding

"Don't stress, it's weird" Carlos said making a face

"What that I actually care about my grades now?"

"Yea where's the Jay I know that used his textbooks to prop up the mini basketball net?"

"He didn't know anything about playing tourney in college" Jay said

"Is this what caused your performance at practice earlier?" Carlos asked

"No" Jay said glaring

"Right, so it's just a coincidence that you tell people how you got your scar, ignore Lonnie and me for the last four days, freak out at practice and suddenly care about school"

"It's ok to be stressed" Carlos said

"I'm not stressed. It was an off day. You don't make all your shots either" Jay bit back

Carlos had to keep from laughing, clearly he was stressed.

"Where did all this come from?" Carlos asked

"Lonnie and I were talking and she said her brother plays in college and that he busted his ass to get in. And then I talked to coach and he gave me a rundown" Jay said

"And now you're stressed" Carlos said, things making sense now

"Yea. I've been doing better in school but I didn't care when we first got here. And then I was trying to make sure you were all ok. And school wasn't my priority" Jay said, slightly embarrassed

"Well Evie and I can help with your science and math classes. Mal's pretty decent at writing. Your art skills are fine. Gym you don't have to worry about"

"Yea and we all haven't done great in Wold History"

"Um bro, your not girlfriend whose just a friend even though you've been ignoring her, her mom is literally half of the semester. Talk to Lonnie" Carlos said, surprised Jay hadn't talked to her

"She's probably busy" Jay said

Carlos just gave him a look. "Don't tell me you haven't talked to her since your pancakes and waffles date the other night"

"I've had a lot on my mind" Jay said

"I think I liked you better before you had emotions and feelings" Carlos deadpanned

"Yea, me too" Jay said matter of factly

"You ok? I mean coach laid into you pretty hard today in front of the team" Carlos asked knowing Jay didn't handle getting yelled at well.

"I deserved it" Jay conceded

"Whether you did you didn't, you don't like getting yelled at"

"I don't like brussel sprouts either but I eat them because they are good for me" Jay shot back

Carlos shook his head, his conversations with Jay the last few days were very confusing.

"I just mean, if you want to talk about anything I'm here for you. I just wanted to make sure you had a good headspace after getting yelled at" Carlos said gently

"I fucked up, mouthed off and got yelled at. At least I wasn't hit and tossed around" Jay said annoyed

"Yea you did that to the poor second strong defense guy" Carlos said

"He was in my way"

"It was his job?" Carlos said nodding

"Whatever"

"If you need time to focus on school, I'm sure Coach will give you a few days off of practice to get your head together" Carlos said

"Won't be a problem I'm benched until further notice" Jay said tossing his pen on the desk

"Jay I'm sorry, I didn't know"

"It's a stupid sport anyway" Jay said

Carlos tracked where Jay's eyes went, they went right to his first MVP trophy that was sitting on his night stand. Carlos knew he wasn't ok, he just wished he would talk to him.

"Talk to Coach and then talk to Lonnie, tell her you're struggling. I'm sure she'd be happy to study with you. She's so proud of her parents" Carlos said dropping all tourney talk, he didn't want to make Jay feel any worse.

"I can't talk to Lonnie, don't you get it?" Jay asked annoyed

"Is this a trick question?" Carlos asked confused again

"No. I can't talk to her"

"You guys have a fight?"

"No the opposite we kissed again" Jay said turning red

"You used to make out with girls on the Isle all the time at parties and could never even remember their name, so what gives?"

"I can't tell her how I feel. Because she deserves someone that isn't emotionally fucked up" Jay said

"I thought she told you that she would let you know if she couldn't handle it?" Carlos asked

"She did"

"Well she's still friends with you so I don't think she's going away. She's strong Jay, I don't think she would be lying to you about if she couldn't handle it"

"I'm scared of hurting her and if I tell her how I feel, I'll just end up hurting her" Jay said sadly

"You don't know that" Carlos said

Jay just gave him a look and got up and started pacing around "My father only ever hurt me, I don't know my mother. I take my crap out on you Mal and Evie. I'm not good for her. I'm not good for anyone, I'm just useless. I mean I can't even manage to do well in school" Jay said sadly, not looking at Carlos

"Jay" Carlos said standing up "Look at me, please" Carlos said concerned

Jay turned around, but still wouldn't look Carlos in the eyes.

"Jay, you know your dad just said all that to make you feel bad. It's not true. You remember how upset we were when you tried to leave the loft after you were slightly better. We wouldn't have made it with out you" Carlos said gently

"Yea and I took all my shit out on you guys for weeks" Jay said

"It's ok, you needed to get that anger out somehow" Carlos said "Jay you've never been useless or worthless to us. If you were you wouldn't be my best friend, you wouldn't be the person Evie confides in or the person Mal trusts to have her back let's face it, that girl doesn't trust easily. You wouldn't have friends here. Coach wouldn't have asked you to coach tourney this summer. You wouldn't be captain, you wouldn't have fought for Lonnie to be on swords and shields. Jay you wouldn't have been MVP multiple games in a row" Carlos said putting his hand on Jay's shoulder

"I...I didn't think of it like that" Jay said, trying to rid the emotion from his voice

"You're still going through a lot, you can't shut us all out now that you've opened up a little" Carlos said

"It's just easier to" Jay said looking down

"I told you, you don't have to go through all this alone" Carlos said

"I felt better after I told Lonnie, but the last few days I've just ignored her which only made me feel worse" Jay said

"I'm sure she will understand. She's just worried about you" Carlos said putting Jay back into his chair

"She shouldn't have to worry. Oh fragile Jay, what's he gonna cry over next" Jay said getting annoyed

"You're the only one that thinks that"

"Yea what do you think?" Jay retorted

"I think that my best friend has been burying his own crap instead of dealing with it because it scares him to show any vulnerability because of how he was raised and now he can't control it anymore" Carlos said, worried Jay would freak out

"Whatever"

"Jay you aren't fragile, or a crybaby or whatever else you're thinking. You've been hurt and you pushed it away for so long, it's all coming out and you're losing control of it" Carlos said studying Jay's face

Jay softened a little but still wouldn't look at Carlos.

"Mal cries like five times a day everyday. Evie cries, I cry occasionally. It's nothing to be ashamed about"

"You saw me the other day, if I start crying again. I might never stop"

"Ok and the longer you keep it all buried down, the harder it will be" Carlos said

"I just don't want to feel like this" Jay said "For as bad as the Isle was. I never felt broken or damaged" He added putting his head on his arms on his desk to will himself not to cry.

"Is that why you've been avoiding Lonnie? Because you cry in front of her?" Carlos asked hoping it wouldn't earn him a punch

Jay didn't say anything.

"Jay it's because you trust her, you feel safe with her. Same reason Mal and Evie cry to you. Because it's comforting. I've cried in front of Jane"

"You've cried in front of me too" Jay said

"Yea I know. That's my point. The people that love you are the people that make you feel safe and the people that what to help you. It's what Jane told me the first time I broke down in front of her"

"Who said anything about love? I don't love Lonnie, I don't even know if I like her" Jay said defensively

"Oh come on, you like her more than just a friend. You at least trust her and know she has your back or you wouldn't have fought to get her on the team. Maybe it's more of a friendship love that you have for Mal and Evie, but whatever. My point is, is that you feel safe with her and that's why your emotions come out" Carlos said

"Well it's stupid" Jay huffed

"Jay I think you might need to talk to Fairy Godmother. You're clearly having a hard time sorting all this out"

"No you promised" Jay said getting mad

"Yea, but I also said I would get you help"

"I don't need it"

"Jay, what did you tell Evie months ago when she needed help and was trying to ignore it"

"I eat fine" Jay said

"Not my point" Carlos said

Jay didn't answer and Carlos knew he was on thin ice.

"You got her help because she refused to help herself. You cared about her and knew she wasn't making the best decisions for herself. On one hand you're an emotional mess because you don't know what to do with all these pent up feelings, the next you're apparently passionately making out with Lonnie according to Jane, then your angry and you're getting kicked out of practice and ignoring your friends."

"So you have me all figured out. How do you know I've been ignoring Lonnie?" Jay asked

"I don't, no. That's why you need to talk to someone who can help you. If you don't want to dump your crap on Lonnie then you need to talk to someone. She was worried about you and texted me"

"See she can't even ask me herself. Poor little broken Jay, need to go to his roommate to make sure he's not in a corner crying somewhere" Jay said slamming his textbook closed

"We're all worried about you" Carlos yelled

"Yea well don't" Jay yelled back

Carlos went over to Jay and tightly put his hands on his shoulders. He knew Jay could get out of his grip easy enough if he tried but he didn't and that scared Carlos.

"Jay, why do you keep trying to push us away? What are you scared of?" Carlos asked gently

Jay wanted to tell him, but he couldn't. He couldn't put that burden on his friends. He couldn't guilt them into sticking by his side, he couldn't be the person holding them back"

"I don't care" Jay said

"That makes no sense. You don't care about yourself? About us? What don't you care about?" Carlos asked

"Forget I said anything" Jay said finally shaking out of Carlos's grip.

"Where are you going?" Carlos asked as Jay put his sneakers on

"Nowhere" Jay said opening the door

"Well that's just stupid" Carlos exasperated

The door slammed behind Jay and Carlos went over to the table where he saw what Jay had scribbled out. It was a list of all the work he still needed to read and practice problems that he needed to do before their finals, in addition to a paper he had to write. Carlos saw it was a decent amount of work, doable but Jay was going to have to focus. Carlos made him a study plan like he promised and went and got dinner. He texted Jay, hoping he blew of some steam but no answer. He ate and made Jay a plate in case he was hungry later.

"Hey Carlos have you seen Jay. Taller than me, long hair?" Lonnie asked, trying to keep it light

"He got kicked out of practice and when I went back to our room he was there but then stormed off" Carlos said trying to gauge how much Lonnie knew

"He's been blowing me off since Saturday. I thought we left everything fine but he's ignored me in class and won't answer my texts. I'm getting worried about him"

"He's been different since Saturday. He seemed fine when you guys came back from dinner but since Sunday he's been in a mood" Carlos said

"Has he been like this before?" Lonnie asked

Carlos could tell Lonnie was genuinely concerned about him, not in a fake way like Jay had said she was.

"Sorta, but this is more intense. Mal and Evie haven't seen much of him either. usually he only takes it out on one of us, not all three of us at the same time"

"I shouldn't have pushed last week to tell me" Lonnie said shaking her head

"No it's good you did. I've been trying to get him to talk to someone for a little bit now. He hasn't been himself and I think I'm gonna have to go to Fairy Godmother" Carlos said sadly

"You think we should give him some more time?" Lonnie asked

"I don't know. We have finals coming up, I know he's a little behind. He asked me to help him create a study plan. It's doable but he needs to stop going AWOL to do it" Carlos said

"We had planned to watch a movie tonight but I'm gonna tell him I'm canceling. That way he doesn't feel any pressure to see me" Lonnie said

"I don't know, you should make him hang out with you. He needs us even though he's pushing us away" Carlos said

"I'll tell him it's up to him. I know I should be studying so I'll just leave it open ended and he can decide. I see you tomorrow in class" Lonnie said turning around

"Lonnie" Carlos called out

"Yea" She said turning back around seeing Carlos's concerned look.

"Let's go somewhere else really quick?" Carlos said knowing the dining hall was too crowded to talk about Jay

"Ok " Lonnie said following him

They went outside where it was quieter and sat on one of the benches.

"Lonnie if you can't handle Jay, and his past and everything he's been though. I need you to walk away now" Carlos said seriously

"I..." Lonnie said before Carlos jumped back in

"I know you said you would tell him if you couldn't but he's in a bad place right now. And it's dark. He's been trying to fight it for so long, he's losing control of it and honestly the last time this happened was after we rescued him from his dad and it took all three of us to keep him in the loft. He hurts deep, deeper than you know and if you think you're close to your limit I need you to walk away for a little. You can't walk away from him when he hits bottom. He will bottom out soon, and I won't let anything else hurt him? Carlos said

Lonnie sat there for a minute and thought about what Carlos said, how much he cared about Jay. Jay kept telling her that he wasn't good enough, but no one that isn't good enough has friends like this.

"I'm in it. I promised him. I know he hasn't told me everything, but I can handle it. I might cry but I can handle it, and I can handle him. I know he's changed recently, I mean at first he was all let me flirt with everyone because I'm hot and then he kinda settled in and then around cotillion, he pulled back again. I miss the Jay that I had been getting to know. The one who put me on the team, the one who I get waffles with at nine at night. If he needs someone to be mad at, I can handle it. My mom always taught me to fight for what you love and I don't know if I love him, that's messy and complicated..." Lonnie said before she caught Carlos trying not to smirk

"What? Was I rambling?" Lonnie asked worriedly

"No, you're fine. I'm sorry. Continue" Carlos said knowing Jay pretty much said the same thing

"But even if nothing were to happen between us, I can't see him not in my life. I'm in it, I'm here for him. I hope he knows that" Lonnie said nervously

"Last chance, you can't turn your back on him when it get's harder. I will fight you" Carlos said

Now it was Lonnie's turn to smirk. Carlos wasn't bad at swords and shields but she was still better.

"Yea I know, you could kick my ass blindfolded" Carlos said fake laughing

"I'm with him, good and bad. If you think I should back off I will. You're his best friend you know him better than anyone else. I don't want to do anything to cause him any more pain" Lonnie said

"Thank you" Carlos said

"For?" Lonnie asked confused

"Being someone else my dumbass brother can count on" Carlos said

"He's not a dumbass" Lonnie said

"I'm gonna kick his ass when I find him, if he would just talk to me, it would be so much easier" Carlos said

"Jay doesn't do feelings well" Lonnie said

"Tell me about it" Carlos said rolling his eyes

"When you do see him tonight, please give him a hug for me?" Lonnie said

"I will. Thanks Lonnie" Carlos said squeezing her leg as he got up.

* * *

Carlos had looked in all the normal spots for Jay. Mal was out being a Lady of the Court and Evie had drug Doug to some fashion class at a University that was a few towns away that was designed for high-school students that wanted to go into fashion. Evie had said she would skip it, that Jay was more important, but he knew how excited she had been. Jay hadn't been back to their room judging from the looks of it. It had been two hours since he saw Jay and he decided if he couldn't find him he would have to go to Fairy Godmother before the night was over.

He couldn't figure out where else Jay could be. He checked the library, weight room, track, field, dining hall, lounge. Jay officially just vanished. If he had gone for a run he most likely would have been back by now. Carlos noticed how sluggish he looked at practice.

He went and checked the other gym for all Auradon students, not just athletes but he wasn't there either. He went up to see Jane and knocked her door.

"Hey" Jane said hugging him "What's wrong?" She could tell something was up judging by Carlos's expression.

Carlos felt all his emotions about to burst out of him when Jane hugged him. He had to be strong, he could deal with it later, which is what got Jay into this mess but right now he needed to find his best friend.

"It's Jay" Carlos said, voice cracking with emotion. So much for keeping it together he thought

"What happened to him?" Jane asked getting nervous

"I can't find him, he got kicked out of practice. He was in our room after and then we talked for a little and he stormed out. I figured he would've shown up for dinner or at least went back to our room when I told him I made him a plate but I never heard from him. I've looked everywhere I can think of. I called the museum to see if he was there. Sometimes he would draw in front of the Jafar statue. But I can't find him. Mal and Ben are at some official dinner, Ben left practice early and Evie's at the fashion thing with Doug and he was already ignoring Lonnie" Carlos said out of breath

"Breath, breath. We'll find him ok" Jane said hugging Carlos again

"I'm worried about him" Carlos said, trying to let his emotions betray him.

"Wait didn't you add the track my friends thing after he lost his phone on a run?" Jane asked

"You're amazing" Carlos said kissing her as he went to her laptop

Carlos logged in and pulled it up.

"What does it say?" Jane asked impatiently

"Tourney practice field. I looked all over. I called his phone, it was still light out. I don't know how I could have missed him" Carlos said relieved but also concerned Jay tossed his phone there.

"Well come on let's go" Jane said putting her shoes her. She grabbed her jacket, Carlos was glad he had grabbed his before leaving again. It was cool out without the sun.

As they rushed out of the room they literally ran right into Lonnie.

"Sorry" Carlos called out not even realizing it was her

"Guys, what's the rush?" Lonnie asked

"It's Jay, Carlos can't find him. He pinged his phone"

"I'm coming" Lonnie said seriously

Once they got down to the field they turned on their phone flashlights and split up, calling out his name. Carlos wished he had brought Dude, he would have been able to track Jay. Speaking of which he hadn't seen Dude since before dinner either. Dude sometimes still went on a parade around campus to talk to everyone, everyone had gotten used to him talking and he was the unofficial mascot.

He heard a bark and turned around to the bleachers. He had looked through there earlier but didn't see any one.

"Dude" Carlos called out, hoping not to spook Jay

Carlos only heard another bark. But it was further away. He was going in the wrong direction, now would be a great time for Dude to talk but not his sassy pet stayed quiet.

Jane and Lonnie ran over to where Carlos was. Carlos thought he saw a shadow and told Lonnie and Jane to stay where they were. He didn't want to overwhelm Jay.

His phone went off and saw Evie had texted in their group chat. He figured Jane or Lonnie would tell her where they were. He went around the bleachers and saw Dude.

"Hey buddy" Carlos said smiling, not really sure if it was for Jay or Dude.

"Jay, you in there too?" Carlos asked as he climbed under the railings

He flashed the light and saw Jay's tear stained faced, he was just holding Dude and petting him.

"Hey, buddy it's Carlos" Carlos said not wanting to scare him "I'm glad I found you" Carlos said kneeling in front of him.

It looked like Jay was shaking. He was only in a tanktop and sweatpants. Carlos shrugged out of his zip-up hoodie and put it around Jay's shoulders.

"Nice little hideout" Carlos said kneeling back down

"You know I already searched here a few hours ago. I mean when Mal ran away, she at least left a note. You definitely beat her in the dramatics"

Jay still didn't say anything.

"You wanna tell me why you're playing hide and go seek with out telling me?" Carlos asked

Jay didn't answer and Carlos reached out to put his hand on Jay's leg when he flinched.

"Ok" Carlos said putting his hands up. He heard Jay sniffle and Carlos closed his eyes to compose himself.

"I'm really glad I found you. Are you hurt?" Carlos asked needing to get him out from underneath the bleachers

"Just go away" Jay said. He tried to sound intimidating but it came out more as a whine

"I can't do that" Carlos said

"Please" Jay said in a small voice

"You're my best friend, I love you bro. If you're gonna stay here, I'll stay here with you. I wouldn't be able to sleep without your snoring anyway" Carlos said hoping to lighten the mood

Carlos heard Jay start to cry when he told him that he loved him.

"Jay, please talk to me" Carlos pleaded

"I can't" Jay said hiccuping

"You can. You can tell me anything. It's how this best friend thing works"

Jay still didn't say anything.

"Can we go inside. You must be cold and hungry" Carlos said "I'm pretty sure Dude's hungry too" Carlos said

Jay softened at the mention of the dog, but made no effort to move.

"You wanna go spar? Hit the punching bag. You can hit me if you want" Carlos said

"Carlos just go away" Jay said

"NO" Carlos said firmly "You been pushing us away for weeks. I thought you were getting better after telling them about your scar on Saturday but you're worse. So no I'm not going to leave you here. You either get your ass out from under these bleachers or I will drag you out myself" Carlos said

"I'm better off under here. So are you" Jay said

"You're under metal bleachers what the hell are you gonna do when there's a storm?" Carlos asked, done playing games

"dunno" Jay said

"THEN FREAKING TALK TO ME" Carlos yelled

"I CAN'T" Jay yelled back

"Why not?" Carlos asked not backing down

"Because it will only hurt you, all of you" Jay said loudly

"I don't care, I want to know and I want to know now" Carlos demanded. God he sounded like Mal and that freaked him out

"What do you care anyway" Jay said defeated, squeezing his eyes shut

"What do I care? What do I care Jay? We've been friends for what? Ten years. You're my brother, my family. You were the one person I knew that would protect me from my mother on the Isle, the one person here that made sure people didn't pick on me when we first came. You're the guy I know I can wake up in the middle of the night when I have nightmares, the guy I know I can talk to when I'm freaked out about Jane. You're the guy I call my best friend, the guy who is up for anything as long as we're hanging out. The guy I hope is standing by my side if Jane puts up with me long enough to marry me. But you're right what do I care?" Carlos said lowering his voice

"If you cared about me, you would leave me the fuck alone right now" Jay yelled

"NO. You can hate me, I don't care. But you need help Jay. More help than any of us can give you" Carlos said sadly

"GO AWAY!" Jay yelled

"NO" Carlos said not moving

Dude got free and ran over to where Lonnie and Jane were on the other side of the bleachers. They were sitting on the bottom row, holding on to each other. Tears in their eyes. Jane wanted to call her mom, but she didn't want to make things worse for Jay.

"Why Carlos? I'm worthless, I'm not worth you getting so pissed off for. I can't pass my fucking classes this year, I now suck at tourney. I've treated all of you like shit. I can't even tell my friends how I feel. I can't tell Lonnie how I feel. I'm just worthless so please just leave me the hell alone. You're happy here, you have a good life now. You were bound to leave me sooner or later. I'm the only one that can't seem to adjust. So I'm making it easier on you" Jay said

Carlos saw the tears running down Jay's face and his heart broke. He knew Jay was struggling lately but he had no idea where he got the idea that he was worthless. He hadn't spoken to his father in a few months.

Carlos sat up and hugged Jay as tight as he could and moved them so he was hugging Jay and his his back against the leg of the bleachers. Jay initially fought the hug but Carlos only held on tighter and eventually Jay gave up and just cried half slumped against Carlos.

Carlos had tears in his eyes, but he had to be strong for Jay. He could cry to Jane later.

"It's ok, just let it all out" Carlos soothed as he held onto Jay

Jay was shaking and his teeth were chattering and Carlos knew they had to get him inside somewhere.

"I got you. It's gonna be ok" Carlos said again

He heard footsteps and saw a flashlight come into his eyes. Evie. He had never been more thankful to see her.

She flashed the light on Jay and Carlos and took in Jay's distraught form and how tightly Carlos was holding him. She didn't say anything, she was careful not to sit on Jay's legs but got as close to him as she could and wrapped her body around his other side. She put her hand in Carlos's hair and rubbed his head to let him know that he did good.

Once Jay had quieted down Carlos caught Evie's attention and motioned his head towards the exit of the bleachers. Evie nodded and got onto her knees.

"Jay can you take my hand, let's go get you warmed" Evie said

Jay didn't move, he looked up at her like he had no idea what she was talking about.

"Come on" Evie said soothingly putting her hand in his

He held back onto her hand and Evie crouch walked out of the bleachers, basically dragging Jay with her. Carlos followed and soon the three of them were out from underneath the bleachers.

"Athletic building or your room?" Evie asked Carlos

"Jay where do you want to go?" Carlos asked

"room" He said quietly

"Lean on us ok" Evie said

Jay draped his arms around both their necks. His legs felt like jello and was thankful that Evie and Carlos had wrapped their arms around his torso to steady him.

Jane, Lonnie and Dude walked around and met up with them. He cringed when he saw Lonnie. She looked devastated and he hated he was the one that caused it.

She walked up to him and kissed his cheek, he felt a warmth rush over him, he figured it was a good sign he wasn't totally numb to everything and everyone. It gave him the slightest bit of hope that maybe he would be ok, and Lonnie would stick by him.

"Don't you scare me like that again" Lonnie said though tight teeth, trying not to cry

Jay nodded and she softened "Let us take care of you" She soothed

They started walking back to the dorm room, Jay stopped walking and basically threw Evie off of him as he threw up the little bit of lunch that had been left in his stomach.

"It's ok. You're cold, hungry, tired and dehydrated" Evie said gently rubbing his back once she regained her balance. Carlos held onto his arm so he wouldn't fall

"Thanks for making sure I was out of the way" Evie said giving him a small smile

They managed to get Jay up the stairs and into the dorm room and put him on in the chair. His lips were slightly blue and he was shaking.

"Lukewarm bath" Evie said pointing to the bathroom. There would be plenty of time to talk but they had to make sure that Jay didn't need to go to the hospital

"Come on" Carlos coaxed him out of the chair

Jay didn't even fight the fact that for a second time in his life, his friends were putting him into a bathtub.

Once Carlos had Jay in the bathroom with the door closed she crouched down and put her head in her hands.

"What the hell happened after I left?" Evie asked

"We don't know. Jay's been ignoring me all week and then today Carlos said he got kicked out of practice and then stormed out of their room and he couldn't find him"

"This boy is going to kill me" Evie said taking a deep breath

"Lonnie go make him some tea, not piping hot but lukewarm and Jane take my room key and get the blue heated blanket off my bed please." Evie said

They complied and Evie stormed into the bathroom. She'd had enough of Jay not talking to her, and beating himself up over god knows what. He stepped in when she needed and she was about to do the same. She stormed into the bathroom and Carlos looked at her surprised.

Jay was standing there leaning against the wall in only his boxers waiting for the water. He just wanted to shower so Carlos conceded to a lukewarm shower but now Jay honestly wasn't sure he could stand long enough.

He looked at himself in the mirror. He was was red and puffy, he had bags under his eyes that went halfway down his face. He looked like he hadn't eaten or slept in weeks. No wonder his friends were concerned

"Evie" Jay yelled looking for a towel to cover himself.

"You could be naked for all I care right now. You listen to me mister. You are my best friend, you don't get to keep treating my best friend this way. I thought you were doing ok. You lied to me, when I got Carlos's text saying that he still couldn't find you, I..." Evie said trying to compose herself before she started crying.

"We're family Jay" Evie said much softer "You don't have to go through this alone" Evie said taking a step closer to him

"Evie" Jay said in a tired voice

"Oh I'm not done" Evie said

Jay just rolled his eyes, trying to get Carlos to help him out. But it wasn't likely since he almost send him into cardiac arrest earlier in the night.

"Why won't you tell us what's going on? We love you Jay, we just want you to be ok. You said you were doing better after opening up a little, and if talking about it all triggered stuff why didn't you tell one of us. We already learned going AWOL doesn't solve anything" Evie said, hands on hips

"I..."Jay said before she cut him off again

"You saved me from myself not so long ago, if I have to do the same thing I will. You can hate me, you can make me wear the color orange I don't care. You are getting help tomorrow if it's the last thing I do" Evie said "I miss my best friend" Evie said, voice wavering

She was looking anywhere but at him, trying to keep from crying. She wanted him to know how much they loved and cared about him. How much he meant to them but she couldn't do it while crying.

"Evie" Jay said letting out a breath he didn't know he was holding

"Did I say you could talk?" Evie asked in a voice that was trying to mask the tears

She ran over and wrapped her arms around him, she felt him stiffen under her grasp but she didn't care. She would hug him for as long as she wanted. She put her cheek on his chest. She could feel the defined muscles of his chest and listened to his heartbeat. When she first found him and Carlos she honestly thought Carlos was holding a dead Jay.

Carlos knew his shower wasn't happening any time soon so he shut the water off. He really didn't know if yelling at him was the answer but they hadn't gotten anywhere yet so he figured to let Evie try her tough love.

Jay slowly relaxed and put his arms around her. He felt the tears coming back and put his cheek on the top of her head.

"Please Jay" Evie said into his bare chest

He nodded on top of her head and pulled back. He gently used his thumb and brushed away a few tears that were left on her face. Carlos pushed off the wall and used his thumb and pointer finger to get rid of the tears in his eyes.

"Can I shower first, I'm still freezing" Jay said in a small voice

"Not too hot or too cold" Evie said

"Evie" He called out in a gravely voice

Evie turned back to look at him.

"I love you too" Jay said

Evie rushed right back to hug him.

"Carlos get over here" Evie demanded

They were standing in the middle of Jay and Carlos' en suite, Jay in boxers, Evie in six inch boots and Carlos looking like he had the weight of the world on his shoulders all hugging But it was them, it was their family, well minus Mal. Jay felt a little better and he just hoped that when they made him talk, they wouldn't stop loving him.

* * *

I hope you liked this chapter. It went so far off of where I wanted to take it. I have been stressed with school and apparently I write a lot of angst when I'm stressed. I promise happier times are coming. I am debating whether or not Mal will be back for the next chapter. I find her the hardest to write but let me know. Don't forget to review! They really help to inspire me. We're almost out of the heartbreaking angst so if you have any ideas please let me know!


	15. Chapter 15

Jay was in the shower and Evie and Carlos were sitting against the wall of the bathroom in the room, now that they had him back, they really didn't want to let him out of their sights. Evie had gotten clothes out for Jay and put them on the bathroom counter. Carlos leaned his head against the wall and Evie took his hand.

"You did good today" Evie said to him

Carlos nodded, not opening his eyes.

"Little brother came though" Evie said ruffling his hair

"I wished I found him sooner" Carlos said

"I don't think he wanted to be found then" Evie said

"I'm his best friend and I couldn't find him. He didn't tell me how bad off he was" Carlos said sadly

"I don't think he knew how badly he felt. Did something happen before or at practice?"

"He's been moody all week, I know he hasn't been sleeping good. He's all of a sudden stressed about school. He hasn't been great at tourney but coach didn't yell at him really until he was checking people during a non-contract practice" Carlos said

"Usually he listens on the field" Evie said

"I asked him if something else happened but under the bleachers he just said he was worthless" Carlos said sadly

"I wish we could convince him otherwise"

"Is he gonna be ok?" Carlos asked, voice cracking slightly

"I hope so" Evie said quietly, putting her arm around Carlos

Evie paused before adding "If not, I'll kill him myself"

"I didn't know if I just wanted to hug him or scream at him once I found him. I think my future children will need therapy from the stress and anxiety he caused tonight" Carlos said

"He can't keep doing this to himself. Or us for that matter" Evie said

They heard the bathroom door creak open and Jay slowly walked up.

"Just us, Jane and Lonnie aren't back yet" Evie said standing

Jay shivered and Evie moved to grab a blanket off the bed and wrap it around his shoulders.

"You feel any warmer?" Carlos asked him

"I'm still freezing. Can one of you grab me a sweatshirt?" Jay asked pulling the blanket tighter

"No, I don't want you overheating. You have to slowly warm your body up. The sweatshirt could make you too warm and then make you cold sweat" Evie sad

"But I'm cold" Jay said

"Yea and pajama pants and a long sleeve tee and socks are a better option. I'll dry your hair and we'll tuck you into bed. That should warm you up. Do you guys still have the hair dryer I bought you?" Evie asked

"It should be here somewhere" Jay said

"I think we used it for dude once" Carlos said

"Of course you didn't use it for yourselves" Evie said rolling her eyes

"Sit" Evie said pointing to the table and chairs to Jay as she went into their bathroom.

Sure enough the dryer was in its box under the sink. Evie grabbed his brush and the dryer and went over to where he was sitting. She put a towel between his hair and shirt so it wouldn't make him any colder. She slowly and gently brushed his hair out. He always loved head massages and she could feel him relaxing under her fingertips.

"You better not be falling asleep on me. You still have a lot of explaining to do" Evie said

"Evie" Jay said groaning

"No" Evie said as she stopped massaging his head "You scared us to death, Carlos's children will be born with the stress of tonight. You don't get to shut us out any more" Evie said

"Fine" Jay said quietly

Evie was almost done drying his hair when Jane and Lonnie came back in. Lonnie was the last person Jay wanted to see. He didn't want her to think he was sone little weak cry baby but she also apparently wasn't letting him out of her sight.

"I made you some tea, hold the mug too. It'll help warm you up. I also heated some soup, you need to eat something" Lonnie said gently placing everything in front of him

"Thanks, but I don't want anything to eat. My stomach is still queasy" Jay said putting a hand on his stomach

"Small bites, or at least some broth. You need to put something into your belly or you will only feel sicker. I also brought some crackers"

"You don't need to do all this. I'm fine. I'm not some helpless, stupid worthless little kid that can't take care of himself" Jay said, harsher than he expected.

Lonnie flinched slightly and didn't know what to do.

"I can get this brush stuck in your hair and it will therefore then be shorter than Carlos's if you keep this attitude up" Evie whispered into his ear

"I'm sorry" Jay said sadly

"Jay" Carlos said gently

"What?" Jay asked groaning

"Why do you keep saying you're worthless?" Carlos asked moving to a closer chair to Jay

"I don't know" Jay shrugged

"I think you do know" Carlos said looking him dead in the eye

"I don't want to talk about it" Jay said shrugging Evie's hands off his head

Evie knew they couldn't push too hard or Jay would keep shutting them out so she gave Carlos a look to drop it for now.

"Why don't you get comfy in bed, have some tea and soup and then you can talk to us" Evie said gently

"Fine" Jay said getting up

Evie put everything away and went to look to see if she had kept any clothes for herself here. She should've told Jane to grab her some when she went over.

Once Jay was at the side of his bed, Lonnie carried everything over to him. He got in and sat on the edge.

"I don't think you're a helpless, little kid or anything else that you said. I just know when I don't feel good or I'm having a bad day my mom would make me soup and just stay with me. I don't know how to explain it but it always made me feel better, you know? Knowing someone cared about me enough to make sure I was ok. Soup and tea always comforted me, I thought maybe it could help you too" Lonnie said squeezing his leg as she got up

She was about to turn around when she felt Jay's hand gently tug her back. She turned around and looked at him. He sat up and reached out for her.

"I'm right here" Lonnie said as she moved into his hug and hugged him back

"Thank you" Jay said voice thick

"I just wanted to bring you some peace or comfort if I could" Lonnie said

"You did" Jay said nodding, clearing the emotion from his head

Evie came out of the boys closet and and looked around "I must have taken all my comfy clothes out last week after I washed them. Boys can I have a shirt and pants? I'm too tired to go over to my dorm" Evie said taking her boots off

"You don't have to stay here. If you're tired you should go" Jay said eating his soup

"You think I'm not staying in here tonight?" Evie asked putting her hands on her hips

"I'll get you one of my shirts and a pair of Jay's pants, mine would be too short. You'll just have to pull the tie really tight" Carlos said walking over to his dresser

"Babe you want comfier clothes?" Carlos asked Jane, noticing she was still in her dress.

"Please" Jane said

"Lonnie are you cold?" Evie asked realizing Lonnie was only in a workout shirt and cropped leggings

"A little, it's fine" Lonnie said

"Carlos get her clothes too" Evie said

Carlos nodded and looked over at his roommate eating his soup. He knew Lonnie was too tall for his clothes but didn't know if Jay would freakout if he saw Lonnie in his clothes. He handed Jane a pair of sweatpants and a t-shirt and handed Evie a long sleeve shirt and went over to Jay's dresser.

"What can I give Lonnie to wear?" Carlos asked looking at Jay

"Whatever she wants" Jay said casually

Carlos thought that had gone better than expected. He took out Jay's Auradon Prep hoodies knowing it was his most washed sweatshirt so Lonnie would be comfy and handed her a pair of his black track pants.

"Might be a little big" Carlos said looking her up and down

"Thank you" Lonnie said

Her and Jane disappeared into the bathroom to change and Evie walked over to Jay.

"You need to talk to at least me and Carlos tonight. Do you want Jane and Lonnie here too?" Evie said gently

"It's fine, they already know how pathetic I am" Jay said

"Tomorrow we are working on your confidence. You were the most confident, cocky, show offy ass I knew. What happened to him?" Evie asked

"He got hurt too many times" Jay said, staring straight ahead

"Oh Jay" Evie said hugging him

"I'm gonna go change and take my makeup off. You hold that coffee mug" Evie said tucking the blankets in around him.

Jay grabbed Evie's arm and she turned around to look at him.

"I'm sorry, for making you worry and being a problem" Jay said sadly

"You are not a problem. We always have your back. You've had ours for years, let us take over for a little" Evie said squeezing his hand

Carlos and Evie got ready for bed and Evie climbed in on the other side of Jay's bed and put her head on his shoulder. Jane and Lonnie brought the chairs over and sat on his other side and Carlos and Dude sat at the foot of Jay's bed, leaning against the footboard.

"Sup" Jay said sheepishly when he realized everyone was staring at him

"I could smack you" Evie said lifting her head off his shoulder

"Jane, Lonnie if you guys want to go to bed I understand. It's after midnight" Jay said

"We're good" Lonnie said

"We're here for you" Jane said

Jay shivered and Evie didn't know if it was him being cold or if it was the fact people were telling him they were here for him. She adjusted the blankets and pulled her heated blanket up a little higher on her.

"Jay, come on you gotta say something" Carlos said prodding him

"I don't know where to start" Jay said as Carlos's phone rang

"It's Mal. I'll put her on speaker" Carlos said

"Hey Mal, we're all with Jay" Carlos said

"Jay how are you?" Mal asked

"I'm fine" Jay said

"You're fine. Well that's nice because I'm not. I'm six hours away with no way to get back because theres some storm and the driver won't leave tonight because of flooding. You scared me half to death with your little disappearing act and now you're fine?" Mal yelled through the phone

"Mal, Evie already covered yelling at him ok" Carlos said "Down girl, take it easy" Carlos said

"Jay was about to start telling us what caused him to start a night long hide and seek" Evie said glaring at Jay

"It's not just one thing" Jay said frustrated

"We figured" Carlos deadpanned

"Before cotillion, before Mal went AWOL you guys all seemed to being doing ok. When we first got her, I was so focused on protecting you guys that I just pushed my own shit away and then Mal freaked out, we went back to the Isle and I realized how great we have it now. No stealing for food, no punishments for no reason, actual fun things and I just got angry that I lived sixteen years of my life that way because of my father and to top it all off, the what I know now is actually called abuse, all of that. I didn't know why I wasn't good enough for my mother to stay, why didn't she take me with her so I wasn't subjected to my father, why didn't she care about me enough. And I was angry that my father blamed me for everything when it was his own fault he was stuck on the Isle. And then Mal started to get better, Ben saw who she really was and you guys were all doing great, you were happy and you liked being here. I didn't want to be the one to bring all that cashing down" Jay said staring down into his mug

He felt Evie shift next to him but he couldn't bring himself to look at her. She was on her side with both of her arms wrapped around his bicep, holding onto him for dear life.

"We'd been here for months, we were expected to have adjusted by then. I didn't miss home, I didn't miss my father. I was just angry and I felt like I couldn't express it. And I started really not sleeping again and then I was tired and angry and I wasn't doing well in school and I wanted to but I didn't have the energy to go to the teachers and ask for help. I was embarrassed because you guys were doing so well, you weren't struggling with school and I didn't want anyone to think I was runt, that I didn't belong here"

Carlos squeezed Jay's blanketed foot since he couldn't reach his shoulder. Dude wandered up and laid between Jay and Evie.

"Everyone knows you're not the runt, you're bigger than all of us" Carlos said

"I didn't want to be the slow one then. I don't know" Jay said slightly annoyed

He took a deep breath before he continued.

"I started go to the museum and I would sit in front of my father and write out everything I was angry about but it only made me feel worse because I knew I didn't have the balls to say it to his face. And his voice telling me I was a useless, worthless piece of crap just stated replaying over and over. And if someone tells you something enough times, you'll start to believe it. Then I was mad that he was still dictating how I felt even here. I was angry that I didn't know how I was feeling, I didn't know what to do, somedays I felt like like my whole body was on fire and just want didn't want to be me for a few hours. Then the less I slept the more angry I got and the worse in school I did and the worse I did in tourney. I mean the last month of practice hasn't been great" Jay said

"Jay why didn't you talk to one of us?" Carlos asked

"Because"

"Because why?" Mal asked through the phone

"It doesn't matter" Jay said sadly

"It does though. Do you think we wouldn't love you anymore because you needed more time to adjust to Auradon?" Evie asked shocked

Jay didn't say anything, he felt his eyes start to wanter and he looked up willing himself to keep it together.

"Jay" Carlos said gently moving closer to him.

"No just stop!" Jay yelled putting his head in his hands

"Please Jay" Evie said gently

"What are you scared of. It's ok, we're not going to get mad or leave you or anything" Carlos said worriedly

"I...I can't" Jay said before he started crying

Evie looked at Carlos and he looked just as confused as she did. Jay had brought his knees up under the blankets and had his head resting on his eyes and his arms wrapped around his legs.

"Please" Evie said gently putting her hand on Jay's

"I can't do it. Because I can't lose you guys" Jay said through his tears

"Dammit" He mumbled wiping at his eyes

"Hey can you look at me?" Evie said softly tilting his chin up to her "Why would you lose us?" Evie asked, her heart breaking

"Because you wouldn't need me anymore. You would all be happy and safe and I would still be broken and fucked up and I didn't want to get in the way of you guys finally being happy. If I was still messed up you wouldn't want to be reminded of it and so you wouldn't need me anymore" Jay said crying harder than Carlos had ever seen him cry

Evie didn't say anything, she couldn't. She wrapped her long arms around his shoulders and he cried into her chest. Carlos kept a hand on his knee and knew there's a point to saying anything. Jane and Lonnie said there taking it all in, they held onto each other, they couldn't help with this. This was Isle kid stuff.

Evie and Carlos both had their own tears in their eyes, Carlos heard Mal sniffle and she flipped it to facetime them, needing to see her best friends.

"Jay, we would never leave you" Carlos said strongly

"You don't know that" Jay said into Evie's shoulder

"I do know that. We need each other, we've always needed each other. Not just when things were bad. We would never just abandon you because you were having a hard time" Carlos said stopping before his voice betrayed his emotions

"I'm so sorry if we ever gave you the thought that we didn't need you because we were happy. You've pulled us from rock bottom, why did you think we would just leave you" Mal said

"Because I would be worthless, you wouldn't need me all broken"

"You never thought we were worthless when we were struggling" Evie said

"Because you weren't the one who was supposed to protect everyone. I knew you guys relied on me to protect you and if I couldn't even manage my own feelings, how would I take care of you guys. I figured that one day you would all just realize that I wasn't worth it" Jay said sadly

Evie just kept hugging him tighter. Part of her wanted to slap him upside the head and tell him he was being an idiot but the other part of her knew that he figured if he left them first, they couldn't hurt him. Attack or be attacked, just like fighting Uma.

"Never" Carlos said tightly hugging him from the other side

"We're a family, we're rotten to the core. Nothing will ever change that" Evie said kissing the top of his head

"I promise you that I will never leave you, whether or not you're in a good frame of mind. I will always be your best friend" Carlos said

It only made Jay cry harder.

"You will always have a worth to us" Evie said, voice going higher as she tried not to cry

Jay hugged her and let out the remaining tears he didn't know he was holding back. He finally was letting go of the gut wrenching sobs that he had been holding back for weeks. He was tired of pretending, he was tired of not feeling like himself. He was tired of letting his friends down. He wanted to be his old self again. His old self wouldn't cry like this, but maybe they were right maybe this is what he needed to do to get back to his old self. He cried harder and held on to Evie. He felt Carlos hugging him now too. He caused all of his friends pain and worry that night and he felt guilty about that too. He cried harder and harder until he felt like he couldn't breath. He felt Evie slip her hand in between them, rubbing his chest to get him to calm down. He felt Lonnie's long and gentle fingers on his head and he felt Jane hugging Carlos who was half on top of him. He could't look at his friends so he just buried his head in Evie's shoulder and let it all out.

"Let it all out Jay. It's time for you to feel some peace" Evie sooth as her own tears mixed with his

Jay's crying slowed to a soft hiccuping cry but Evie continued to rub his chest, Lonnie massaged his temples and Jane put her hand on top of his.

"I will tell you every morning when we get up how much you mean to us if that's what you need. I'm sorry you've been in so much pain" Carlos said wiping his eyes

"I want to hug you so hard I squish you" Mal said over the phone, ending it with a sniffle

"Jay you can't protect us, if you don't take care of yourself first" Evie said, not letting him go

"I don't want to know what life would be like without you in it" Carlos said in a thick voice

Jay didn't know if this made him feel better or if he just felt more guilty that now his friends were upset.

"You need to let go of everything you've been holding in" Evie said

"Yea we might get mad at each other or argue or annoy each other but at the end of the day, you guys are my family. What one of us goes though we all go though. I thought you felt the same way" Carlos said

"I..I do" Jay said trying to calm himself down

"Then why would you think that just because you're a little more emotional or moody we would just turn our backs on you?" Mal asked

"We keep Mal around, she's the moodiest out of all of us, I mean she literally turned into a dragon" Carlos said knowing it would lighten the mood

"Right here" Mal said

It made Jay smile and Evie studied him, it was a genuine smile, the smile she didn't realize he had been missing.

"We love you Jay, we just want you to be ok" Mal said

"We will do anything for you" Evie said

"The girls are right. We will always need you around" Carlos said squeezing his shoulder

"I know that this is all knew to you, processing your feelings and emotions. Having to come to terms with how your father treated you. Jay we can't even begin to fully understand what you went through, but what ever you're going through now. We're right here with you" Evie said

"What brought all this on buddy? Just thinking that we would abandon you if showed any ounce of weakness"

"I just figured with how people think of us on the Isle now and having gone back recently, you wouldn't want to deal with it. Wouldn't want to talk about it or talk about what we went though" Jay said

"Anything else?" Evie prodded, knowing he wasn't giving them the full story

"I've just been angry but also sad for how we grew up due to no fault of our own and then I get mad at myself when I would be happy or when I wouldn't sleep in the bed because theres still kids over there that are getting abused and starved and I got out, who am I to complain?" Jay asked sadly

"You're allowed to feel whatever you're feeling, Jay just because there are still kids there and you used to have it worse than you do now doesn't mean you need to feel guilty about being happy here. You're allowed to be happy and you're allowed to have off days" Evie said

"Jay, it's Ben. You get me a list of kids you know are being abused and I'll do whatever I can to get them out of there" Ben said, his face coming on Facetime.

Jay just nodded.

"You don't have to be perfect here, that's what you told me. You told me to take it one day at a time, and if I wasn't happy with how that day went to let it go and start over the next day. Then you said some sports metaphor that I don't remember" Evie said running her hands through his hair

"You don't need to carry the weight of the world with you here. I know you talk tough, but you're a big softy and it's ok to let that side of you show" Carlos said

Jay just looked at him like Carlos told him grass is pink and the sky is green.

"Come on I've seen you with Dude. You love cuddling with him and giving him belly rubs. I've seen you with the little kids that have taken tourney clinics, it's why coach asked you to help him coach the camps this summer. You've done well here, yea you have your scars you can't just leave that behind, mental or physical but you can allow yourself to be happy and move on" Carlos said

"Jay you need to stop punishing yourself for the things you did on the Isle, and for there still being kids on the Isle. It's not on you. You're dad's punished you enough, it's time to learn how to move past everything and make yourself better for it" Evie said trying not to cry

Jay's eyes watered again and Evie held on to him tight.

"You didn't deserve the abuse Jay, no one does. You need to accept that you're worth so much more than that. We can tell you everyday how much you mean to us but until you believe it yourself, it won't matter. You need to work on why you don't think you deserve to have the life you do know and you need to learn how to move past your father telling you that you are worthless and useless. We can't do that for you, but we will be here every step of the way helping you" Carlos said

"Carlos is right, you need to find your worth for yourself. Whether it's in sports, or drawing, school or just being a good friend. You need to find the things and the people that make you feel like Dude when he's getting his belly rubbed"

"I do like a good belly rub" Jay said letting out a small laugh

"Yea you do" Dude said snuggling closer to Jay

Evie just rubbed Jay's stomach and smiled at him.

"You have a lot of worth and a lot of love. You have to let yourself be happy and you have to let go of all the hurt and anger. I know it's easier said than done, believe me. But no one should be abused and then have to live with the guilt that they deserved it. You deserve so so so much more than that" Evie said kissing the top of his head

"Let yourself be happy and find a way to let go of everything that's hurt you. I haven't forgiven my mother yet, I don't know if I can. But I know I'm here and I'm safe and I have people that care about me and that my mother is just sick and twisted. I chose to be with the people I care about and who care about me. I know that I didn't deserve being treated like that, but I was tired of being angry and scared" Carlos said

Jane reached over from the chair and took his hand.

"I'm tired of being angry. I'm tired of pretending that I'm fine and that I'm not bothered by what he did. I'm tired of trying to hide it all" Jay said

"Then don't. We love you for you, Jay. If someone else doesn't then that's their problem" Mal said

"Apparently it's mine" Jay mumbled

"What?" Carlos asked

"Nothing"

"Jay" Evie said tilting his head back to look at her

"You know how with this extra stress and lack of sleep I've kinda been sucking at tourney?" Jay asked

"I mean I wouldn't say you sucked but it definitely hasn't been your best playing lately"

"It was the one thing that cleared my head, that I could count of to make me feel better and but then even that got stressful and I learned about playing in college and my grades are slightly shitty. Coach said I really needed to do well on finals or I might have to do summer school" Jay said looking down

"Ah" Carlos said realizing why Jay started opening a text book.

"Why didn't you come to us for help?" Evie asked

"I was embarrassed. You guys had all caught up and here was useless Jay struggling to get C's"

"You've carried so much by yourself, Im so sorry" Evie said

"And the more stressed I got, the less I was sleeping and the harder school got, the harder tourney got and the more worthless and broken I felt" Jay said admitting it out lout

"I wish you jut would've come to us" Carlos said sadly

"I know I could have but I who was I to poison the apples so to speak" Jay said

"Jay, you wouldn't have been ruining anything" Evie said

"We want to know when you need help" Mal said

"No more hiding it" Carlos said

"What can we do to help you?" Evie asked

"I don't even know. I suck at school, I suck at tourney" Jay said trailing off

"You don't suck at anything. I also made you a study plan before I went to dinner. I thought you just went for a run so I didn't even think I needed to go looking for you" Carlos said

"Thank you. I appreciate it"

"It's doable bro, you just need to let us know when you're too stressed" Carlos said

"So I guess this is the elephant in the room, but how did you end up under the bleachers?" Evie asked

Jay sat up from Evie and leaned back against his headboard and closed his eyes.

"I don't want to talk about it" Jay said

"Jay we just said you can't keep hiding stuff" Mal said

"Come on" Carlos nudged

"I've been struggling and the whole teams noticed. Coach pulled me aside and asked me, so did Aziz. Not in a threatening way, they just wanted to make sure I wasn't injured or anything and then I just felt pressure to get my shit together, to play better"

"That's not a bad thing that they were checking on you" Carlos said

"Please don't make me talk any more"

"You'll feel better" Evie said

"I initially went for a run but then as I ran passed the tourney field today's practice and everything just all flashed back and I didn't have any more energy. I figured I blew the one thing that I really wanted to do by mouthing off and being terrible lately and that's when everything just hit me. My legs felt like they wouldn't work and I couldn't breath" Jay said

"Why didn't you call one of us?" Carlos asked

"I was ashamed" Jay said turning a little red

"You never have to be ashamed with us. We would have come right over and gotten you, no questions asked" Carlos said

"Did anything happen before practice that caused it, you seemed especially pissed off at the start" Carlos said

"Sorta" Jay said

"We can't read minds" Evie said

"Fine" Jay said before taking a deep breath

"I was in the locker room changing before practice. I don't know if they knew I was there or not. But I uh..." Jay said before pausing

"It's ok, whatever it is" Carlos said

"Two of the guys were talking about how I sucked recently, it was just a fluke. That I would either do something to get myself sent back to the Isle or that my grades were so bad that I would get put on probation and not be eligible to play. The other guy said that it wouldn't matter anyway since I tanked and they both agreed that..." Jay said stopping

"Jay" Carlos said

"They said I was useless. That it wouldn't matter either way and the team would be better off without me. I didn't matter, they weren't sure how I got MVP a few games in a row. I thought I was so great but in reality ... in reality I was just worthless trash" Jay said, not being able to stop the sobs

Evie hugged Jay and Lonnie didn't know if she should hug him or not. Carlos just sat there.

"Why didn't you tell me, or one of the coaches or Aziz, he's your co-captain" Carlos asked fuming

"I might be worthless trash but I'm not a rat" Jay said though his tears

"I want names" Carlos said angrily

"Just drop it, they aren't totally wrong"

Carlos stood up on the bed, fuming.

"They are wrong. You know they are wrong. I want names and I want them right now" Carlos said

"Carlos sit down" Evie said knowing this wasn't helping Jay

"They can't just say that. I'm going to coach" Carlos said

"STOP!" Jay yelled "You're not gong to coach. You're not gonna make it any worse than it already is. Because if you try to mouth off to them you will get your ass kicked and I honestly don't have the strength to do it and Lonnie isn't going to fight either of our battles when you get in over your head" Jay said annoyed

"Jay they are your team. You don't all have to all get along, but you should all respect each other. I don't think you should just let it go" Lonnie said finally speaking up

"It doesn't matter" Jay said

"It does. No one should talk to you that way. I know we all mess around in the locker room, but that's personal Jay" Carlos said calming himself down

"Jay who was it?" Lonnie asked gently

Jay waited before turning to Lonnie "Tyler and Stephan" he said quietly

"They've been harassing you all year" Lonnie said

"I know, I don't know why this got to me so much" Jay said

"That's not what I meant" Lonnie said

"My dad has said a lot worse to me and I overhear a few comments and lose my shit and start crying" Jay said frustrated

"They are your teammates they shouldn't treat you like that" Lonnie said

"I thought there was a no bullying policy" Mal yelled though the phone

"Mal" They head Ben whisper

"There is" Jane said sadly, she knew all about how kids didn't follow it

"Jay it's ok to stand up for yourself here. I mean don't go sword fighting and stuff but just because you're here doesn't mean you have to let people treat you that way" Carlos said

"It's just, you hear something so many times, you kinda start believing it" Jay said looking down

"No one should make you feel that way" Carlos said "I know it's hard to change your mindset but you're one of the strongest people I know. You would stand up for us no matter what, you what do whatever for us to make sure we were ok. You deserve the same thing. Take care of yourself and let us take care of you" Carlos said

"I'm sorry" Jay said sadly looking down

"You have nothing to be sorry about" Evie said

"I made you guys worry" Jay said

"Yea because we love you. I swear if you or any of you do that again I will personally see it that you are glued to me so you can't ever leave me sight" Evie said tossing her hair back behind her

"I was past worried bro, but like Evs said you have nothing to be sorry for. We're sorry that you kept everything bottled up inside" Carlos said "I don't think I have the words to explain how relieved I was when I found you. I..." Carlos said stopping

"I'm sorry" Jay said feeling his eyes water

"I don't know what I would have done with out you" Carlos choked out

Jay hugged Carlos tight. Carlos helped him so much tonight Jay didn't know how he would ever repay him.

"Try and get some sleep ok. It's pretty late" Carlos said

"Jay we are going to go to Fairy Godmother tomorrow" Evie said

"I also owe Coach and the team an apology" Jay said "If I'm even still on the team"

"You need to explain everything to coach, he deserves to know. I can't see him kicking you off" Carlos said

"I will. I know it's probably not a great idea but I'm gonna bag classes tomorrow and talk to Fairy Godmother and Coach. And then I'm gonna take the day for myself" Jay said

"We'll go with you" Carlos said

"Side by side" Evie said squeezing his hand

"Jane, Lonnie. I can't imagine what you must think. But thank you, for everything" Jay said

"You need anything, you let us know. We're here for you" Jane said hugging Jay

Jay hugged her back and realized why Carlos liked hugging her so much, her hugs were very comforting.

"Babe you just want to sleep over?" Carlos asked hugging her after she hugged Jay

"It's ok, you guys need some sleep. It's after 3am, we'll send you all of the notes for tomorrow" Jane said

They thanked Jane and Carlos walked her over to the door and casually poked Evie to move so Lonnie and Jay could have a second.

"Ow" Evie yelped but complied

"That sweatshirt looks pretty hot on you" Jay said giving her a smirk

It was the same smirk that he had the last few weeks. It didn't quite reach his eyes, he was trying to force it but it just wasn't there.

"Get some sleep. Please Jay, just talk to someone when you feel this way. You have such a kind heart even if you don't think so. You deserve to be happy and play all the tourney that you want. I just want you to see how great you are" Lonnie said

She was about to turn around when Jay tugged her arm "Lon"

"Yea"

"Thank you. For everything, for not backing down, for sticking by me. For being patient. You were the first first person here who saw that I could be more than just Jafar's crappy son. I know I don't always see it, but you did. And that means more to me than you'll ever know" Jay said hoping he didn't cry again

"I just want you to be truly happy, I'm not going anywhere, I got your back" Lonnie said, she was about to lean over when she stopped.

"Can I?" Lonnie asked

"I would be sad if you didn't" Jay said

Lonnie, with permission leaned down and hugged him tightly.

"Thank you for my soup, I'm sorry I snapped. But it did calm my stomach, you were right" Jay said

"Get some sleep" Lonnie said cupping his cheek

"Lonnie. If it...if I. If any of it is too much, please tell me. I don't want to see you get hurt" Jay said fiddling with the blanket

"I promise, but I also promise I'm here for you" Lonnie said

"Thank you" Jay said

"Get some sleep you need it" Lonnie said fixing the blankets around him

When she was done she leaned down and kissed the top of his head. He had butterflies but first he needed to put himself back together.

"I'm sorry we didn't get to watch the movie you wanted to"

"It's ok, it wasn't a good night for it. We'll watch it another day. Now get some sleep"

"How can it not be a good night for it? It's a football movie"

"You'll get to watch it I promise. Now sleep" Lonnie said

"Text me when you're back in your room?" Jay asked

"I will. Here's your sweatshirt" Lonnie said starting to take it off

"Keep it, it looks better on you anyway" Jay said

"Goodnight Jay"

"Night Lon" Jay said yawning

"Please let me walk you back" Carlos said to Jane

"I'm fine, I'm with Lonnie" Jane said laughing

"I think she's safer with Lonnie than you" Evie said

Carlos just glared at Evie.

Jane and Lonnie left, Carlos and Evie got ready for bed and Jay had noticed Mal was still on facetime and heard and saw his interaction with Lonnie. So much for Carlos getting Evie away from them.

"Bye Mal" Jay said

"Wait Jay" Mal said quickly

"I don't know if I will make it back for your meeting with Fairy Godmother but if I don't please call me for it. Also call me if you need anything"

"I love you Mal" Jay said rolling his eyes

"Love you too" Mal said stoping her rambling

"Get some sleep ok?" Mal said

"Be safe coming back" Jay said

Mal nodded and Jay ended the call

"Well buddy, how ya doing?" Carlos asked Jay

"I'm ok. Honestly. I feel a little better" Jay said

"So you don't want us to sleep in the bed with you then?" Evie asked

Jay didn't say anything.

"Yea that's what I thought" Carlos said

"Evs in the middle. Jay's already all nice and cozily tucked in" Carlos said teasing a little

"Whatever" Jay said looking at his phone and seeing the girls were in

"Girls are in" Jay said

"Good" Carlos said

Dude curled up at the foot of the bed, Evie climbed in the middle and lied on her side and put her arm around Jay and Carlos turned off the light and got in on the other side. Since it was just the three of them, they didn't push the beds together but since Jay was on his back Carlos was regretting that decision since he had no room. He climbed in anyway and cuddled Evie, or more he held on to her so he didn't fall off.

"If you need to sleep on the floor just tell us" Evie said

"Mhm" Jay said dozing off

"We love you" Evie said kissing his cheek

* * *

Thanks for all your continued support! Does anyone have an idea what movie Lonnie was going to show Jay? Let me know and don't forget to review!


	16. Chapter 16

"Jay, shut your alarm off" Evie said groaning and poking her best friend laying next to her

Next thing she knew Carlos's and then her phone alarms were all going off except the boys were not moving.

"Jay" Evie said shaking him

"Carlos"

They both started stirring and mumbling

"Shut your alarms off and hand me my phone" Evie said rubbing her eyes

Carlos mumbled and dropped her phone on her face

"Ow" Evie said rubbing her forehead

"Mhmm" Carlos said hugging his pillow

"Guys we need to get up to see Fairy Godmother before school starts" Evie said looking at her phone to see if Mal texted her

"Mal's on her way. Not sure when they will get back"

"Jay, come on. Wake up" Evie said shaking him lightly

"I'm up stop" Jay said not opening his eyes

"It's too early and bright" Carlos said

"Yea we went to bed late" Evie said

Jay started poking her face.

"What?" Evie said swatting him away

"I'm looking for your snooze button" Jay said opening one eye and giving her a smirk

"Ugh you're the worst" Evie said laughing

"Do we need to get up?" Carlos asked

"Yea. We need to" Evie said sitting up

"You guys go to class, I'll talk to Fairy Godmother myself"

"Yea nice try" Evie said "We're going with you"

"You guys don't really have to" Jay said sitting up

"Ok we're gonna end this conversation now. We're going with you and that's the end" Evie said glaring at him

"Fine" Jay said throwing his hands up

"What Evie means is we don't trust you to go yourself" Carlos said

"You two are annoying" Jay said

"We annoying with love" Evie said sweetly

"Get outta here" Jay said lightly shoving her shoulder

They all got up and got dressed, and started walking to Fairy Godmother's office when Jay's phone rang.

"Hey Mal"

"Jay I'm so sorry I'm not gonna make it back in time, there's flooding and traffic and I want to be there for you and you deserve better from me..." Mal said rambling without taking a breath

"Mal, Mal slow down" Jay said into his phone

"Jay I'm so sorry" Mal said

"Mal it's ok, I have the other two that won't leave me alone" Jay said smirking at the the other two.

"I should be there for you" Mal said sadly

"Mal I get it. You have royal responsibilities now"

"Yea but I shouldn't just leave you" Mal said

"Mal it's ok. I get it. You don't need to beat yourself up over it. I'll still be here when you get back"

"You better know I'm gonna hug the evil out of you" Mal said

"I would expect nothing less" Jay conceded

"I gotta go we're at Fairy Godmother's office" Jay said

"Ok. Have Carlos or Evie video chat me in" Mal said

"Bye Mal" Jay said

"Jay" Mal said quickly

"Yea"

"You can do this. I love you" Mal said seriously

"Love you too Mal" Jay said

He took a deep breath and looked at Evie and Carlos.

"You can do this Jay" Evie said

"I know" Jay said quietly, pulling his beanie down

They walked into Fairy Godmother's office and told her secretary that it was important that they needed to see her right away. As they were waiting to find out if they could see her, Jay's phone beeped with a text from Lonnie telling him how proud of him she was and that she would see him later.

Fairy Godmother popped out of her office, her door was shut was was unusual since she only every closed it when she had a meeting.

"What can I do for you three?" She asked kindly

"Jay needs to talk to you before he loses the nerve" Carlos said quickly

Little did the three of them know that Aziz and Coach were already in a meeting with her to see if she knew if anything was wrong with Jay.

"I'm glad you're here, there's some people that are quite concerned about you in my office"

"Jane?" Jay asked

"Jane? No, Aziz and Coach"

"Yea, that" Jay said turning red

"It's ok Jay. They aren't mad" With that Aziz walked out of her office

"I'm sorry I went behind your back, but I was concerned. So was coach" Aziz said

"I get it" Jay said

"You know you can confide in me right? We're teammates and I thought of us as friends"

"It's complicated. But I appreciate it" Jay said "Can I fill you in latter. I need to talk to Fairy Godmother" Jay said, turning redder than earlier

"Of course bro. Whenever you're ready" Aziz said leaving

"Jay I would like Coach to sit in on this meeting too" Fairy Godmother said

"Alright" Jay said nodding

They walked into her office and Carlos pulled out his laptop to video chat Mal in. Jay sat down on the sofa, flanked by Evie and Carlos.

"Son are you already?" Coach asked

"I will be" Jay said "I owe you an apology. I shouldn't have acted like that yesterday. I know the consequences of not following the no contact practice. It was reckless and my teammates deserve better from me, my coaches deserve better from me. I'll apologize to the rest of the team later" Jay said seriously

"I'm sorry for yelling at you the way I did. I know that you don't always react well to yelling given your past. I should have been more cognizant of that. However, Jay, if you are having problems you need to talk to someone"

Jay just nodded.

"I'll clean my locker out tomorrow and turn my uniform and practice gear in" Jay said sadly

"Why?" Coach asked

"I'm off the team, aren't I? Team's better off without me" Jay said, feeling his voice start to betray him

"Jay what are you talking about?"

"You kicked me out of practice. I'm not good anymore, I had a shitty attitude" Jay said

"Jay you aren't kicked off the team. If I kicked guys off the team for getting into a slump or having an off day or being emotional and having a bad attitude I wouldn't have enough guys left to field a team. I get you're all still learning, highschool is a tough time. Part of my job is not only to help you on the field but also off the field to make you boys into responsible young men"

"I'm not off the team?" Jay asked shocked

"No" Coach said smiling "You needed a day off. Sometimes when you're mentally beat up you need a day off just like when you're body is physically beat up after a lot of games. I didn't think you were benefitting from it and you needed a step back. It wasn't a punishment as much as a time out. Stand up and know you're worth son. You've been a real asset to this team and this school" Coach said

"Ah jeez" Jay said pulling his beanie down over his eyes

"Jay?" Coach asked

Jay just shook his head. Fairy Godmother passed a box of tissues to Carlos and Evie put her hand on Jay's back.

"Um, Jay can I?" Carlos asked

Jay just gave him a slight nod

"Jay's been having a hard time. A harder time than we realized and it's all sorta been slowing building and the last week it was all too much" Carlos started

"With what sweetie?" Fairy Godmother asked

Jay tried to talk but he really didn't want to cry she he stayed under his beanie.

"Adjusting here. Um his father, he uh didn't always treat him the right way. He..." Carlos said before Jay started talking quietly

"He used to abuse me. I didn't know how bad and what abuse really was until I came here. I knew it was a little worse on the Isle but I thought it was mostly normal. He also used to verbally abuse me if I didn't steal enough. Hated that I had Mal, Carlos and Evie. He used to tell me all the time I was useless and worthless and I guess I started believing it. My friends had been doing so great here I didn't want to open up to them and tell him because I didn't want to put them in a bad space. I was also worried that if I told them how I felt that they would think I was more trouble than I was worth. That because I did feel so broken that they would just leave me" Jay said closing his eyes

"Oh Jay, I wish you would have talked to someone" Fairy Godmother said

"Jay, you are not worthless or useless. I hope you know how much value you have to your teammates. How much they rely on you, I saw them all come around to you this season and how you came around to being on a team" Coach said

"Almost everyone" Jay mumbled

"Jay" Carlos said looking at him

"I wasn't in a great space before practice yesterday. I overheard two of the guys in the locker room saying how I sucked now and that they can't get used to me on the team since I will just do something to get myself sent back but it didn't matter because I was useless to the team. It was just sorta the thing that did it for me" Jay said looking down

"Jay, you know the rest of the coaches and I do not stand full bullying and hazing, you should have told us"

"I didn't want to be that guy that snitches"

"It's not snitching" Carlos said

Jay told Coach and Fairy Godmother everything that had been going on, Carlos and Evie interjecting when needed and Mal commenting when she needed to. They were finishing up and Jay didn't know if he felt more vulnerable or relieved that he didn't have to hide how he was doing anymore.

"Anything else?" Fairy Godmother asked them

"No that's it" Jay said

"Jay" Carlos said warning him

"It's not a big deal" Jay said

"Jay it is" Evie said

Jay just shook his head and so Carlos continued.

"Last night Jay stormed out and I figured he just went for a run but then he didn't come back for dinner and when I texted and called him he didn't answer. I was really worried. Evie and Mal weren't here but Lonnie and Jane helped me look for him. I eventually found him under the bleachers on the tourney field and we got him back to the room and that's when he told us what was really going on" Carlos said putting hand on Jay's shoulder

"Jay you know you can always come talk to any of us" Fairy Godmother said

"It's easier said that done, we just started fitting in. People finally stopped making fun of us? You think I'm gonna open up to all of Auradon and put the targets on our backs again?" Jay asked trying not to get angry

"Jay you need other outlets of getting this anger out, you clearly need more than just Tourney" Coach said

"I don't know how" Jay said frustrated

"I think we need to start by setting up an appointment with campus health services and go form there" Fairy Godmother said

Evie and Carlos knew that wasn't the right answer.

"No. I don't need to tell some stranger who has no idea how it all worked over there all of my "problems"" Jay said

"Jay it was a suggestion" Evie said giving Fairy Godmother a look

"Jay what do you want to do now that this is all out in the open?" Fairy Godmother asked

"I don't know" Jay said

"What if you start by writing down how you feel, write whatever you want" Fairy Godmother said taking a note book out of her desk "If you want to share it with your friends or with any faculty that's fine. If writing it all out makes you feel better than you don't have to show anyone. But Jay, if we don't want you to keep suffering"

"Sometimes I feel like if I start crying I'll never stop" Jay said quietly

"Maybe that's your body's way of needing to get process and move past what you've been through. What all of you have been through" Fairy Godmother said

"I JUST DON'T WANT TO FEEL THIS WAY" Jay yelled

"Ok, ok" Evie said trying to calm him down

"I've talked all weekend, I talked all last night and it really didn't make me feel any better" Jay said angrily

"Jay we can't help you if you don't want it"

"I don't know" Jay yelled

"Ok, ok. Tell us what's going through your head now" Mal said over video chat sensing any traction Fairy Godmother had gained was weaning

"I just want to be happy again, as happy as my friends are. I don't want to be the broken angry kid from the Isle anymore. It's too much to carry it all around. I want to do better in school and be a better teammate and I don't know how to do any of it. As Evie has said I don't know my own worth" Jay said looking down at his hands and playing with his gloves

"Then I'm going to tell you what you're going to do" Fairy Godmother said sternly

She knew they were used to running wild and maybe Jay needed an adult to tell him what to do. She didn't want to treat him like a little kid because he wasn't. They have all been fending for themselves for years, but maybe what he needed was someone to put him back together, not fix him, that had to come from within but someone to guide him and reassure him even though it's not what he was used to.

"What?" Jay said not meeting her eye

"You're going to go back to your room and you're going to take today and tomorrow off. Write down everything you're feeling, sleep, eat some healthy meals and take care of yourself. Then Saturday you will start on your homework and we will go from there. I will talk to your teachers and see what you need to do for your classes. I can tell them that you just decided to get serious about your grades or I can tell them that you need some help right now. Which ever you prefer. Sunday same thing, you will focus on school, and maybe do a workout or go to the gym but no staying up late. You need some sleep judging by how you look. Then Monday you will go back to your classes and start your week fresh" Fairy Godmother said sternly

Jay just nodded and felt a weight lift off of him.

"I...I didn't know what to do. Thank you" Jay said quietly

"Of course dear. Next time don't wait so long to come to someone"

"And I want you to listen to Fairy Godmother, she's part of your team too. I will see you at practice on Monday. If you need anything at all Jay, please call me. Try and get a light workout and run in at some point, don't stress if you aren't up to it. If you need the next two weeks off of practice to focus on school I would rather you work your butt off now and do well then be on probation in the fall. We're done games for the year. This is just to keep you guys focused"

"Thanks Coach"

"Thank you, both" Evie said

"Yes, thank you. We didn't know how else to help him" Mal said

"We thought we could handle it all our selves. Relying on other people is all new to us" Carlos said

"It's ok, but now you all know that you can come to us in confidence"

"Get some rest Jay. I'll check up on you over the weekend. Do you want me to have lunch set up?" Fairy Godmother said

"No thank you, I'm not overly hungry"

"We'll make sure he eats" Evie said

"I'm assuming you two are bailing on classes for today?"

"Yes please" Carlos said

"No go, you already missed all your morning classes, I know you don't like missing coding and math Carlos and Evs I know you don't want to miss your fashion class or your chem class. I'll be fine. I'm just gonna sleep" Jay said

"It's up to you three. But I will excuse you for the whole day" Fairy Godmother said

"Thank you. I guess if he doesn't want us hovering we will get him settled and then go to class" Evie said

"I'll be fine"

"Jay it's ok if they stay with you"

"No, really I'm just gonna sleep" Jay said

* * *

Evie and Carlos walked him back to his dorm room, he laid on his bed and Dude jumped up to cuddle him.

Evie and Carlos went and sat on the other side of his bed.

"How are you?" Evie asked

"I wish you would stop pitying me" Jay said turning away from them

"We aren't, we're just concerned"

"Well don't be" Jay said

"This is exactly why we are concerned" Evie said

"Just go to class, I'm fine"

"Jay you've been through a lot, you need to give your body time to process everything"

"I can't process with you hovering"

"You wanna lash out at us for caring fine? But it's not going to stop us" Evie said annoyed

"I just..." Jay said trailing off

They gave him a minute to collect his thoughts.

"Hate feeling this way" Jay said "I want to have energy and feel good again"

"And you will, but pushing us away is't going to help" Evie said

"I'm just not used to it" Jay said "People are acting like I'm sick but I'm not"

"You know how people take a knee when their teammate gets hurt during a game?" Carlos asked

"Yea?" Jay said confused

"We're taking a knee right now. We don't exactly know how to help you, but we're with you. Does that make better sense? You need a timeout from everything to give your body time to catch up" Carlos said, hoping the sports analogy would work

"I guess it makes sense" Jay said getting what he mean

"I just want to get put back into the game" Jay said sadly

"Next half you will" Carlos said encouragingly

"Come on go to class, I'm gonna nap" Jay said

"Are you sure you will be ok?" Evie asked

"I'll be fine, go to class. I'll order food or something if I get hungry" Jay said

"OK" Evie said running her hand through his hair and kissing the top of his head

"Go, you guys don't want to be late" Jay said

"You sure?" Carlos asked

Jay just gave them a look and they both grabbed their backpacks.

* * *

Jay was alone with his thoughts for the first time since his friends brought him back from the bleachers the night before. He gabbed his notebook and started writing. After only a few sentences he closed it and put the TV on and closed his eyes. He lazily had his hand draped over Dude, who was snoring next to him and he fell asleep. He woke up two hours later, it took him a second to get his bearings to figure out where he was.

He was hungry but didn't know what he wanted. He figured he should at least look at the homework plan Carlos created for him even though Fairy Godmother gave him the day off. He was serious about wanting to do better in school and figured that it wouldn't hurt. He grabbed his books and the plan and got back into bed. He felt like he was getting over being sick, his body hit by a truck but he wasn't sick. He didn't know what he was, but he didn't want to feel this way anymore.

He walked down to his floor's lounge to refill his water-bottle, grateful that everyone else was still in class. He went back to his room, and grabbed his history books and got back into bed. He was reviewing the sheet that Carlos had given him. Math scared him, so he would wait for Carlos. History, he could read, therefore he should be able to get through it. He decided to just start over and make an outline of the homework that he really hadn't bothered to read. He worked efficiently and realized that it wasn't so bad, he made notes of things he needed to clarify and would email his teacher at the end of each chapter. He had gotten an email from Fairy Godmother telling him that she had explained things to his teachers and they were all on board to help him. He felt weird admitting it, but at least he didn't feel so alone. He was finishing up the second chapter when there was a knock at his door.

"It's open" He called out, not bothering to look us

"What if I was an ax murder?" Lonnie asked lightly walking in

"Thought you didn't have those in Auradon?"

"Auradon no. Parts of The United States of Auradon, yes" Lonnie said placing a big bad on his table

"Shouldn't you be in class?" Jay asked her

"Shouldn't you be asleep?" Lonnie asked him

She walked over to his bed and moved the textbook out of the way

"How are you?" She asked much more seriously

"I'm ok. I think, well at least right now" Jay said

"That's not bad" Lonnie said

"I'm still confused but I don't feel as lonely" Jay said looking down

"I'm glad you're ok. Last night, I. Carlos, sorry" Lonnie said trying to laugh off her emotion

"I'm sorry I scared you guys. I think I freaked Carlos out. He taught Dude how to call him from my cell phone" Jay said taking Lonnie's hand

"I'm surprised they aren't here" Lonnie said

"I kicked them out, no need for them to miss class too. They were just hovering and it was stressing me out"

"You can't kick your friends out" Lonnie said

"I know that, but I was ok. They don't need to watch me sleep"

"Ok" Lonnie said nodding

"Lonnie look..." Jay said getting nervous

"I'm just here as a friend" Lonnie said

"It's not that. It's that you're cutting classes for me. I told you I wasn't any good for you" Jay said sadly

"You didn't make me cut classes. I'm a big girl who can make her own decisions. I'm only missing three and one is part of lunch and study period. Jay I'm ranked in the top five of our grade. I'm ok to miss classes today"

"No it's not right. You shouldn't cut class for me" Jay said feeling guilty

"Ok, I cut class in the most Auradon way possible. I asked Fairy Godmother and then told my mom. Happy?" Lonnie asked giving him a small smile

"I literally met your parents for like two seconds on Family Day, they can't hate me yet" Jay said cringing

"They don't hate you. I just said a friend needed me today. She was more than fine with it, same with Fairy Godmother" Lonnie said gently

"Really?" Jay asked

"Yes, I know it sounds lame but I missed you in class today" Lonnie said squeezing his hand

"I kinda missed you too" Jay said quietly, finally meeting her eyes

"Miss me enough to scoot over and eat a late lunch?" Lonnie asked

"I can do that" Jay said nodding "What'd ya bring?"

"Wait and see" Lonnie said smirking and she went over to retrieve the bag

"Is it?" Jay asked smiling

"Of course" Lonnie said laughing

They took the pancakes and waffles out of the bags and split them onto their plates. Lonnie pulled out two kids cups of chocolate milk. Jay just gave her a look and laughed but happily took his cup from her.

"I hope everything is still warm" Lonnie said

"It is" Jay said, mouth full of waffles

"Good" Lonnie said smiling as she took a bite

She had gotten back in Jay's bed and flipped a blanket onto her lap. Everyone from Auradon was usually cold in their room, since they were not used to having such a strong heater.

"Thanks Lon" Jay said smirking as he nudged her shoulder with his

"Of course" Lonnie said leaning into him

She had never sat eating food in another guy's bed before, with anyone else it would be weird, she would be nervous and awkward but somehow with Jay it was normal.

After they finished eating Jay took the trash out to the hallway and walked back in.

"That was just what I needed. Thank you" He said giving Lonnie a hug

"I thought you could use some food" Lonnie said hugging him back

"I'm ok though, you really didn't have to skip class for me" Jay said sitting across from her on the bed

"I know. I wanted to see how you were doing. Fairy Godmother said you are on strict orders to relax today and I come in and find you doing homework. You sure you don't have a fever?" Lonnie asked laughing

"I know she said I didn't have to but Carlos made a list and I figured there was no harm in starting. I got through the first two chapters. It wasn't bad. Just kinda kicking myself that I didn't do it sooner" Jay said shrugging

"You didn't know any better. That's ok" Lonnie said seriously

"I just don't want to fail. I think I was so worried about being behind in school that if I made that decision on my own then it was because I cared more about tourney but if I actually tried and failed then...it just meant I'm not smart and someone else deserved to be here. Not me" Jay said sadly

"You can't be so hard on yourself. You guys have all had a huge adjustment this year, everyone handles things differently. You can't fault yourself for that. I know how driven you are on the field. I think if you have that same drive now, ask for help and want to do well there is no reason you won't" Lonnie said sweetly

"Thank you" Jay said quietly

"So I'm all your's for the day. What do you want to do" Lonnie said hoping to cheer him up

"I was just gonna watch a movie. We can watch the one from last night we didn't get to" Jay said

"Not today. I tell you when I think you're ready. What movie do you want to watch?" Lonnie asked

"Ugh anything other than that sappy Notebook movie. Ugh Mal and Evie wouldn't shut up about how great it was" Jay said rolling his eyes

"Ok, no Notebook" Lonnie said laughing

"Carlos and I usually watch It's a Bug's Life or AirBud if we want to cheer up. I was leaning towards AirBud" Jay said

"Fine with me" Lonnie said

Jay got up to move to his side of the bed and grab the remote off of the Table but before he turned around he stopped in front of Lonnie.

"Lonnie. I'm sorry for the way I've been treating you and how I've been acting. You didn't deserve me taking my crap out on you. You deserve to be treated better. I really am sorry" Jay said sadly

"It's ok. I'm glad you finally talked just promise me you'll stop shutting us all out?" Lonnie asked meeting his eyes

Jay just nodded, feeling his emotions rise. He just stood Lonnie up and pulled her in tightly for a hug. She was a little caught off guard but quickly hugged him back.

"I'm always here for you" Lonnie said

Jay just nodded.

When they pulled back form their hug, Jay tried to quickly wipe the tears off his face, Lonnie reached up and put her hand on his cheek and wiped away a tear.

Jay nodded and grabbed the remote and got into bed. He moved the covers back and instructed Lonnie to do the same. It was weird laying next to her under the same blanket but he didn't mind it at all.

"I love this movie" Jay said as it started

"I know you do. You and Carlos wouldn't shut up about it for weeks after the first time you watched it" Lonnie said laughing

"It's sports and a cute dog. What can't you like?" Jay asked

"It's just cute how much you guys liked it" Lonnie said smirking

"Just watch the movie" Jay said laughing and rolling his eyes

He slowing had started sinking further down his bed until he was almost asleep. Lonnie had been gently running her fingers through his hair and he kept trying to fight his eyes closing.

"Shh, go to sleep. I'm right here" Lonnie said calming

She switched to rubbing his belly since Evie said it calmed him down.

"Wanna watch" Jay said lazily

"You know what happens"

"Don't want to sleep" Jay said, eyes closed

"You're body needs it. Just let it" Lonnie said giving him a slight hug

"M'kay" Jay said "Tell me whas gonna 'pen" He said mostly asleep

"I will, I promise. Just relax" Lonnie said smiling sweetly at Jay's half-passed out form

He had turned his head towards her and was still lightly running her fingers over his stomach. She kissed the top of his head and his eyes stopped fluttering open.

She tried to stay awake to watch the movie for him but eventually after he rolled and had his arm over her stomach, she also fell asleep.

Jay woke up a little over an hour later to find Lonnie asleep next to him. He looked up and saw Mal sitting there reading.

"Mal?" He asked confused

"Well you're finally awake. I thought I was gonna have to check to make sure you were breathing" Mal said

Jay just rolled his eyes and untangled himself from Lonnie.

"You look comfy" Mal said smirking at him

"Screw you, Mal" Jay said lightly "How long have you been here?"

"Not long. I mean you left your door unlocked and you're passed out. No wonder Chad uses your printer all the time"

Jay tried to get out of bed but somehow pulled the blanket off of Lonnie, causing her to wake up.

"Shit. Sorry Lon, go back to sleep" Jay said quietly

"Huh?" Lonnie asked rubbing her eyes

"Hey Lonnie" Mal said sweetly

"What?" Lonnie asked confused

"You were supposed to tell me how the movie ends" Jay said smirking

"Funny" Lonnie said sitting up

Jay went to the bathroom and Mal was on the bed in seconds.

"He's fragile right now. I don't know what kind of house you two are playing but don't you dare play with his emotions. You will regret it" Mal said in a warning tone that slightly scared Lonnie.

"I wasn't? I brought him lunch" Lonnie said confused

"I know I should have been here for him and I wasn't. But this is VK stuff, if you can't handle it or him long term. Walk the plank now, Lonnie"

"I have no intentions of going anyway" Lonnie said getting annoyed

"Mal!" Jay yelled sharply walking out of the bathroom

Mal turned red for a second before going back to the table"

"You better go practice for the last video you have to do. If you want, I'm up for filming it Saturday" Jay said walking back over to his bed, checking his phone

"I didn't realize how late it was. Are you sure? Aziz said he could" Lonnie said

"It's up to you, but I don't want to let you down" Jay said sweetly

"You wouldn't. I would love for you to film it with me but if you can't don't stress about it" Lonnie said

"I'll let you know" Jay said

"Well I better go" Lonnie said awkwardly looking at Mal

Jay walked Lonnie to the door and stepped out to the hallway with her.

"I'm sorry about Mal. She's probably just mad she wasn't here. Ignore her. I'm glad you were here today. Thank you, for lunch, and most importantly for still treating me like me. Even though I'm not exactly me right now" Jay said quickly

"Remember when Chad was going on about how no guy would like me if you guys let me on the team and you told me that if they didn't like me during Swords and Shields then they didn't deserve to like me if I didn't play?" Lonnie said

"It was cheesy" Jay said blushing

"No, it was sweet" Lonnie said blushing "But if I can't respect that you are going through a hard time and if I can't handle being your friend now. I shouldn't when you're you again or however you're putting it" Lonnie said

"Thank you. Now go. I don't want Aziz yelling at both of us" Jay said giving her a hug

"Jay I'm just a quick text away if you need anything" Lonnie said pulling back from their hug

"I know. Now go, good luck. Kick Aziz's ass" Jay said smirking

Jay walked back into his room to see Mal smirking as she was leaning against his footboard.

"Well how's the new Mrs. Jay?" Mal asked

"You don't always have to be a bitch Mal" Jay said slightly annoyed

"I'm sorry I wasn't here. I should have been, Ben and I just got back. I'm sorry" Mal said seriously

"It's ok. The others handled it" Jay said tossing a blanket to her

"I didn't mean to be mean to Lonnie. I just don't want to see you get hurt" Mal said

"I know" Jay said, facade melting. He patted the bed next to him and Mal moved next to his shoulder

"Two girls in your bed in one day? Jay you little player" Mal said poking his side

"Three, Evie slept in my bed last night" Jay said casually

"You little man whore" Mal said laughing

Jay cracked up with her before they both got serious again.

"I'm glad they found you. God when I found out..." Mal said

"I'm sorry" Jay said voice thick

"Don't ever scared me like that again" Mal said shaking his shoulders

"I don't plan on it" Jay said

Mal just hugged him and he hugged her back. He felt his eyes growing wet. Mal was always the one he felt the most uncomfortable being vulnerable with but somehow it seemed right today.

* * *

Sorry for the delay. I got some bad news about being cleared for sports and I have been feeling like Jay without even knowing it. I think that's why some of it was so raw, because it was real. Don't forget to leave a review!


	17. Chapter 17

"Can you not be a bitch to Lonnie?" Jay asked her

"I wasn't" Mal said defensively

"I might have believed that if I had't seen it" Jay said giving her a look

"I didn't know what you were going through. But I can protect you going forward"

"I'm a big boy, I can take care of my self" Jay said

"I know that. But you don't have too. I know things got dark, but I don't want to see you hurting anymore"

"I appreciate it but Lonnie has been patient and kind and caring. Carlos pretty much gave her the same talk yesterday but only nicer"

"Of course he did" Mal said rolling her eyes

Jay just gave her a small smile and waited for her to continue.

"Mal, why are you looking at me like that?" Jay asked when Mal didn't say anything else

"It's my face, Jay" Mal said, not taking her eyes off him

"Mal come on. Say what you want. I'm a big boy I can take it" Jay said groaning

Mal didn't say anything, she crawled forward on the bed towards Jay and just hugged him. He was leaning against his headboard, propped up by pillows. Jay was hesitant for a second before he wrapped his arms around his friend and hugged her back.

"I wish I had known how you were feeling" Mal said into his shoulder

He just nodded. Him and Mal had been keep their distance from each either after her and Ben reconciled. Jay was being over protective and Mal needed to work through some of her own stuff. Jay felt like Mal didn't need him anymore since Ben knew who she was and loved her for her. Jay was so happy for her but he felt something he couldn't quite place. It wasn't your typical jealousy. He didn't have those feelings for Mal. Mal was his sister, his family and nothing would ever change that. He was scared to talk to Mal and he didn't know why.

"Mal come on. We don't do this. Me and you" Jay said gesturing between them

"Maybe we should then" Mal said sitting up next to him

"Who are you and what did you do with Maleficent's daughter?" Jay asked giving her a once over

"Evie's been saying it for years, how similar we are"

"Didn't answer my question" Jay said, guarded

"I know a year ago neither one of us would ever think of crying in front of other people or trusting adults to help us or asking for help in general but things are different now. We're different" Mal said waiting for him to meet her eyes

"Mal if this is about you feeling bad for not knowing or not making it back this morning it's fine" Jay said

"No. It's about you" Mal said seriously

"Mal I'm ok" Jay said

"I'm trying not to hug you until I squeeze you to death but you're killing me" Mal said

Jay just gave her a small smirk.

"If I've learned anything since being in Auradon it's that you can't get through life without people that you care about. Doesn't matter if they are family or friends or friends that are your family. You can't do it alone despite what we were taught"

"I know that" Jay said

"Do you?" Mal asked, voice cracking slightly

"Yea" Jay said swallowing hard

"Then why didn't you talk to Evie, or Carlos or me? I know I haven't been the greatest friend lately but why not the other two?" Mal asked

Jay took a deep breath and shut his eyes.

"Like I said, I didn't want to let you guys down. You all seemed happy, I mean Carlos got over his fear of dogs and human emotion, Evie finally saw how incredibly amazing she is and realized she is so much more than just hair and makeup and you. You found your prince. Who was I to bring any of you down?" Jay asked fiddling with his blanket

"You're so good at protecting us, but it shouldn't cost you your own happiness" Mal said gently

"Mal seriously if I came to you and said all I want to do is cry or punch someone. That I don't want to go back to the isle but I also feel like I'm suffocating here. Honestly what would you have done?" Jay asked annoyed

"I don't...I don't know" Mal said quietly looking down

"See" Jay said

"I do know that you would not have had to go through this yourself" Mal said seriously

Jay just looked at her.

"If we've learned anything it's that we need each other. No one here understands us like we do. We're family Jay and while we may fight sometimes I know I can depend of the three of you for anything. I wish you would trust us" Mal said putting her hand on his leg "I thought you knew that deep down"

"You don't get it Mal" Jay said angrily

"Please get angry, get mad, scream, yell. Just freaking talk to me Jay" Mal said yelling back

"I was scared ok. Scared that you guys were all moving on. You all are dating someone and have things to do and have moved past a god portion of your trauma. I was scared that if I actually told you guys what I was thinking or feeling that you'd bolt. I didn't know how I was feeling. How the hell could I explain it? I know I wouldn't have survived the Isle without you guys, but I also knew I couldn't survive whatever I'm feeling now without you and after someone telling you how useless and worthless you are, you begin to think it and God Mal..." Jay said trailing off

"What" Mal yelled back

"I BELIEVED MY FATHER OK?" Jay yelled before putting the hood of his sweatshirt up and trying to cover his face

"Jay..." Mal said quietly

"Just forget it. Ok, I talked to Fairy Godmother people know. I'll be fine"

"Yes you will at some point. But right now you aren't and that's ok. It's ok to be not be ok" Mal said "Why were you scared of telling us. You know how much you mean to us"

"I thought...Nope I can't" Jay said stopping

"I know you talked to Evie and Carlos the other day. Please talk to me now"

"Mal you have become this person people look up to. A lady of the court. You're honestly going to tell me if I came to you one day crying about how I don't know how I feel and how I don't want to feel this way you would honestly have taken the time to comfort me or whatever it is you do to people when they can't figure themselves out. That you wound't have just told me to snap out of it and get it together?" Jay asked feeling hot angry tears forming

"What? Jay? Seriously?" Mal asked shocked

"You guys were all happy, i couldn't. I wouldn't put you guys through anything more" Jay said sadly

Mal just hugged him. She didn't know fully understand what he was going through. Jay was complicated, he always had been but she promised herself that she wouldn't let him down.

"Jay you took on all of our crap, you shouldn't have to deal with yours by yourself" Mal said putting her hand behind his hooded head

"I know. That's why I couldn't tell you guys. You were all happy and doing well. I wouldn't let my problems hurt you. I couldn't do that to you guys" Jay said voice cracking. "I...I was scared that I'd lose you guys. That I you guys would realize how much I was struggling and that you guys wouldn't want to deal with it and would just leave me. And that scared me more of anything. It...It was easier for me to pull back than..." Jay said stopping to wipe his eyes

"Than for us to leave you" Mal said quietly finishing for him

Jay just nodded and turned his head away from Mal.

"No you don't" Mal said turning his head back towards her

Jay let Mal turn his head and Mal saw the tired, broken look on his face. Her heart broke and she didn't know how to put him back together.

"Jay. No matter what happens, where we go, what we do. We will always be family. You will always be able to count on me. I'm guessing Carlos and Evie feel the same way" Mal said voice thick

"You've been hurt more than anyone ever should be, you should never apologize for feeling the way you do" Mal said holding onto him tightly

"I figured it would be better for me to get my shit together myself than have you guys leave me" Jay said sadly

"You always have us" Mal said strongly

"But you guys are happy, I can't put you back in this" Jay said

"You can and you will. Jay you've always been there protecting us and feeding us and making sure Evie and I were not taken advantage of on the Isle. You took beatings for Carlos when he couldn't handle anything else. You were going to give up all of this when I still wanted to steal the wand. You care about us so much, I wish you would let us care about you just as much. I know me and you, we don't do emotions, we were seen as the stronger ones, the leaders and Jay you feeling this way doesn't change anything. Take care of yourself the way you take care of us. Because you deserve it"

"I don't" Jay said quietly

"It's ok" Mal coaxed

"I look at our lives now and I think about all the stealing and fighting I did back on the Isle and I don't deserve to have a second chance, to be happy, to have good things happen. Why me, Mal? Why us? There's so many kids still suffering. How do we get a second chance and then I feel guilty about it and then I also feel guilty because I should be doing all I can to do well here and I didn't care about school..."

"Breath, breath" Mal said gently taking his hand

"I want to be happy, I just don't know how" Jay said closing his eyes

"Then let us help you" Mal said "I don't know why we got picked. I don't know why Ben fell in love with me and not Evie. Jay we all did things on the Isle to survive. We will always be the kids from the Isle and we can't forget that because it's part of who we are, no one can take that from us or change that. But it doesn't mean we should have to pay for what our parents did. You can't feel guilty, all you can do is what is best for you"

"Is this part of how you felt?" Jay asked her

"A little. I felt like I was suffocating from trying to fit in. We likely will never fully fit it and that's totally fine. It would be boring and we wouldn't be who we are if we did. I think you need to start by admitting you deserve good things and you deserve to be happy" Mal said cupping his cheek

"I just keep hearing my father tell me that I am useless and worthless and I don't matter and that no one cares about me and everyone will leave me" Jay said rubbing his eyes

"Jay what do you think of yourself?" Mal asked, scared of his answer

"Mal come on. That's a loaded question"

"Don't care, answer it"

"You're not gonna like my answer" Jay said

"Don't care" Mal said

"I guess, since you guys are all doing better I have felt useless. You all figured Auradon out and I didn't. I haven't been good in school and I'm just the worthless thief from the Isle that no one will love, someone that isn't capable of loving anyone or being loved" Jay said

Mal had tears in her eyes. She had been clued in for what he had said but hearing him say it just the two of them, made her emotional.

"Mal, see. I don't want to be the reason you're crying"

"NO. I'm crying because I wish you could see yourself the way we see you" Mal said looking him in the eye

Jay slightly flinched.

"You are the strongest person I know. You are brave and tough and you would do anything to keep your friends safe, you would do anything for us in general. You have the biggest heart, even if you try and play it off. Jay, tourney and school they don't define you. What defines you is the fact that you would go with Carlos when he walked Dude late at night just to make sure they were safe, or that you were hyperaware of Evie and her eating disorder or that you 100% had my back even though you know it was wrong. You've spent so much time making sure we were ok that you never made sure you were ok. You are not worthless or useless. You have so much worth, I wish you understood that. And God Jay you are capable of loving. You taking care of us when you didn't have to. That's love Jay, a familial love but you are so capable of loving people. And you are so lovable. Your smirk is the most adorable thing in the world, I've seen how you interact with Lonnie and how you've let her get a little closer to you. You are so strong and driven and you care so much. You've been so badly hurt and Jay I know it's hard to accept that we shouldn't be punished for what our parents did. But you need to let yourself start to work through it" Mal said tears streaming down her face

Jay couldn't talk. He knew all that would come out was a sob. He sat and processed what Mal was saying and the next thing he knew she was practically choking him, she was hugging him so tightly.

"Let it out, ok" Mal whispered to him

He hugged her tighter and and felt his tears fall out. His anger at Mal was starting to fade. he wasn't mad at his friends. He was made at what they had been through.

"Hey" Mal said looking at Jay

He raised his head and wiped both of their tears away.

"Stand up and know your worth. You are a good person Jay who deserves good things. Don't run from that" Mal said sternly

Jay nodded.

They sat in silence composing themselves before Mal spoke up.

"I'm sorry about everything lately, that you felt you couldn't come to us. That I was selfish and made things harder" Mal said

"I know" Jay said nodding

"I know we don't do emotions and feelings much together but you can always come talk to me. You're not alone" Mal said

"I know" Jay said nodding

"Jay, please don't ever feel like you need to get away because you can't talk to us. Last night, when Carlos said he still couldn't find you I was scared you did something drastic. I didn't know you felt this bad, that you were hurting this much. You always make sure that we're fine. I never dreamed that you could hurt this much. God just don't ever do anything permanent"

"I wasn't thinking that I just needed time to think and when I was running I saw the field and my legs went heavy and I didn't know what to do" Jay said

"You can always call us. It's what family is for" Mal said

"Part of the reason I always made sure you guys were ok was because I didn't ever want you guys to hurt this much" Jay said

"You are the best friend we could ever have. Please let us help you. I don't want you to hurt this much" Mal said

"I'm gonna try" Jay said nodding to her

"I love you so much. You are capable of so much and I promise I will help you get there" Mal said

Jay couldn't say anything so he just nodded.

"Mal I need to breath" Jay said as Mal continued to squeeze him. She was never this touchy feeling but once she reconciled that she could still be tough and show emotion, it had been coming out more and more.

"Sorry" Mal said releasing him with a small laugh as she wiped her eyes

Jay swiped the pad of his thumb to rid her cheek of the remaining tears and handed her the box of tissues off his nightstand.

"How are you doing?" Mal asked gently

"I'm ok. It's weird, you know?" Jay asked

"You don't know how to feel after putting everything out in the open?" Mal asked

"Pretty much" Jay said nodding

"You can use some more words" Mal said prodding

"You know I think I've talked more the last week than I have since being here" Jay said

"Yea and that's part of the problem" Mal deadpanned

"Funny"

"Jay please talk to any of us, even if you're confused about how you feel. Maybe we can help" Mal said

"I know. It's just been a lot lately" Jay said

"Take your time" Mal said

"I clearly couldn't keep going the way I was going with pretending that I was fine. And I'm glad that some people know now and that I don't necessarily have to hide everything but I also...Ok don't laugh I know it's gonna sound weird but I feel like I'm walking around naked or something" Jay said laughing a little

Mal smiled at him but waited for him to continue.

"Like people can tell that I'm not as strong and tough as I claim" Jay said trailing off

"It's called being vulnerable" Mal said squeezing his hand

"Yea well I don't like it" Jay said

"I know you don't" Mal said laughing

"Is this how you felt?" Jay asked her

"Similar, but I was more worried that I had to be perfect. I didn't know who I was"

"I'm scared of letting you guys down too. I just want to be happy and stuff as you guys all are and I'm scared I never will be" Jay said looking at his hands "That I won't be able to do well on my finals and that Carlos will have wasted his time helping me organize my work and that I'll let Evie down and you and even Lonnie"

"Don't worry about us right now. Just focus on yourself and what you need to do. You will Jay, right now you just need to take care of yourself, let yourself feel whatever it is your feeling and not try to keep pushing everything and everyone away" Mal said

Jay just nodded but let Mal's words sink in.

"I got your back, Jay. I promise" Mal said seriously, looking him in the eye

He knew she did, he knew she meant it. He couldn't be mad at his friends for not knowing because he did a really good job do hiding it.

* * *

Sorry for the delay. I was processing my injury and lack of clearance. I hope you all enjoyed this chapter. Next chapter will be about the greatest bromance between Jay and Carlos! Don't forget to review!


	18. Chapter 18

The four of them had eaten dinner in Jay and Carlos's room. Jay not being up to going to the dining hall for dinner. The girls wanted to stay over again but Jay made them go back to their room to get a good nights sleep. He wanted things to start going back to normal.

Him and Carlos were playing video games. They each had done some homework after dinner and Jay knew he needed to talk to Carlos but he was avoiding it at all costs.

Carlos had kept some distance after class today. He knew Lonnie was with him and then Mal. So he didn't come back to their room until Evie said she was bringing over dinner. Jay was trying so hard to not have a break in conversation incase Carlos brought up yesterday that he's not entirely sure he's ever heard his roommate talk that much.

* * *

_Carlos had learned a lot since being in Auradon and one of those things was that you can't keep things buried inside. It's more important to have the conversations that scare you, it worked out pretty well for him and Jane. After class he went to Janes since Lonnie was with Jay. As soon as he walked into her room and flopped on her bed, he felt the weight of the previous twenty-four hours wash over him._

_"Hey, how are you doing?" Jane asked sweetly sitting down next to his flopped form_

_"I don't know" Carlos said running a hand through his hair_

_"It's ok" Jane eased_

_"It's not Jane. I'm his best friend and I had no freaking idea that he was hurting this much. If he...what if...if I..." Carlos said stopping himself before he cried_

_"Shh, it's ok" Jane soothed_

_"It's not ok. For whatever reason he didn't think he could trust me" Carlos said sadly_

_"Are you sure that he felt that way?"_

_"Why else would he have hidden this for so long?" Carlos asked_

_"Sometimes when you're hurting that badly you don't want anyone to know because there's no way that anyone would get it" Jane said quietly_

_"What do you mean?" Carlos asked turning to face her_

_"After my dad died, I was so sad. I just kept to myself, I mean Lonnie was great and she did her best but he had been sick and magic couldn't fix it and I didn't think anyone would understand. Add on top of that how insecure I was well, I felt like an outcast. Lonnie and Doug were probably my only true friends and maybe Ben, but that was different because I kinda worked for him when he was still the Prince"_

_"I don't know how someone so sweet and caring and kind and great and beautiful could ever be insecure but I get what you're saying. If other people know than it kinda makes it real" Carlos said_

_"Yea" Jane said nodding_

_"I'm an idiot" Carlos said shaking his head_

_"You're not, Carlos. You could have asked him a hundred times a day what was wrong and he likely wouldn't have told you"_

_"I should have known" Carlos said sadly_

_"Babe you can't beat yourself up over it" Jane said trying to comfort him_

_"And today after he sent Evie and I to class I've been avoiding him" Carlos said "Some friend I am"_

_"Hey look at me" Jane said strongly_

_Carlos lifted his head and Jane took in how much of the previous days events had shaken him up._

_"He slept, which he greatly needed. Lonnie was there and then Mal. You didn't leave him, if he really needed you he would have called you. Maybe you both needed space. This kinda flipped your relationship a little. Usually you were the one that needed to be protected something not him" Jane said_

_"If something had happened to him. I couldn't have lived with myself" Carlos said swallowing the lump his throat._

_"Then tell him that. Tell him how much he really does mean to you" Jane said taking Carlos's hand in hers._

_"We share a fucking room and I didn't know how sad and hurt he was. He's literally taking beatings from my mother for me and I couldn't even realize that he was struggling" Carlos said agitated as he started to pace around Jane's room_

_"Carlos?" Jane asked confused_

_"My mother's beatings had gotten worse, it was a little after Jay's father had nearly killed him. He was healing and we finally let him out of the loft but I hadn't been there for a few days so he came to hell hall and found how battered I was. I hadn't finished the list of my mothers demands on time and she was about to go at it again when he stepped in and said if she needed to beat anyone that it should be him. Since he was the reason that I hand't been around as much to be her slave. He shouldn't have taken in mentally or physically but he did because he was my best friend and I was hurting pretty bad. He comes off harsh but deep down he would do anything for the people he cares about. I feel like I let him down Jane" Carlos said, voice wavering_

_Jane caught his arm as he was pacing around and pulled him in for a hug._

_"Let it all out" Jane soothed squeezing him tight_

_Carlos let his tears finally fall._

_"I can't lose him" Carlos said in between his sobs_

_"Tell him all of it. Keeping things in clearly doesn't help. Be honest with him, like you said he's your best friend" Jane said reassuringly_

_"He's the strongest person I know. How did he get here, how did we not see it or not even know" Carlos said_

_"He didn't want you too. You said he was the big brother of the group. Imagine how hard it was for him to admit all of that when he's the one that's supposed to be the protector" Jane said_

_"I didn't think of it like that" Carlos said_

_"He's still the same best friend, he just needs some extra support right now" Jane said_

_"What if he's never the same?" Carlos asked worried_

_"I think as long as he knows you three are with him every step of the way and he's honest I think he will be able to process everything and be stronger for it" Jane said_

_"Thank you. Thank you for letting me freak out" Carlos said_

_"Always" Jane said hugging him_

_"I just can't get the image of him sitting under the bleachers looking that broken and sad. In everything I saw him suffer through on the Isle, I don't think he's ever looked that bad" Carlos said shaking his head_

_"Because he couldn't or wouldn't show any weakness there" Jane said_

_"I didn't know that I could even feel so gutted or scared and want to scream and cry and punch things all at the same time" Carlos said_

_"It's ok. You were worried and scared and I know you guys don't say it much but you love him. He's your family. The four of you make each other better and stronger and you take care of each other. It's how you feel when someone you care about is hurting that much" Jane said_

_"What if I do or say the wrong thing?" Carlos asked_

_"I don't think you will but then you figure out the right thing to say" Jane said_

_"You're the best, Jane" Carlos said kissing her_

_"You guys will be ok. We're here for you too. Just promise me that you won't internalize all of this and let it hurt you too" Jane said_

_"I promise. I just have to make sure Jay's ok" Carlos said hugging Jane and kissing the top of her head _

_"Talk to him ok? Just you two for now" Jane said hugging him back "I'm here if you need me" Jane said sweetly _

_"You really are the best person I know" Carlos said kissing her again _

* * *

They were still playing video games when Carlos lost his final life.

"Dude what the heck, how'd you get yourself killed. You're better than me at this level" Jay said shocked

"Eh, didn't feel like playing it anymore" Carlos said shrugging

"Ok so what do you want to play?" Jay asked, starting to feel his heart race

"Jay I think we need to talk" Carlos said nervously

Jay felt his palms go sweaty and he dropped his controller. He knew how much he had scared Carlos the day before and he was the last person he wanted to talk to about any of this. Carlos, for lack of a better phrase was his little brother. He was supposed to worry about him, not the other way around.

"What's on your mind, everything ok with Jane?" Jay asked lightly

"Jay come on. We both know we need to talk and I know it won't be easy but we need to" Carlos said gaining some courage

"Why isn't talking easy?" Jay asked trying to play it off. Before Carlos could answer Jay continued

"Is this about you and Jane? You want some kind of big brother sex talk? You need condoms? Don't know what to get her for her birthday?" Jay asked

"What?" Carlos asked slightly horrified

He really liked Jane but they hadn't gone there yet. He still blushed when they held hands around all their friends.

"It's ok to have questions, we can talk about that" Jay said hoping to buy himself time

"Jane and I are fine" Carlos said trying not to get frustrated with Jay's diversion techniques

"Ok, don't get all bent out of shape. I just wanted you to know you could talk to me about that stuff"

"Please we both know you talk a big game" Carlos said shaking his head "And seriously we can talk about that stuff?"

"Yea you're like my little brother. Sure it might a tad awkward but it's fine" Jay said shrugging

"I'm like your little brother?" Carlos asked getting annoyed

"Yea, man I thought you knew that" Jay said confused

"I thought I did too" Carlos said

"Carlos what gives? You're being all weird" Jay said

"What gives?" Carlos said raising his voice "What gives is that you have been suffering and in pain and lost and confused and you didn't tell me or anyone else about it and then you pull some disappearance act!" Carlos yelled

"Calm down" Jay said defensively cutting in

"CALM DOWN?" Carlos yelled

"Yea"

"You went AWOL yesterday, told us how sad you are and now you're avoiding talking about it and you want me to fucking calm down?" Carlos asked still heated

Jay looked away ashamed. "What's it matter now, Carlos? You know now" Jay said defeated

"What's it matter?!" Carlos asked yelling again

He walked over to where Jay was standing and stood right in front of him. He might still be smaller but the height and muscle difference was slowly closing between the two.

"You are the closest thing I have to a brother. The one person that has protected me the most. Dammit Jay, I thought..." Carlos said stopping before he said the words

"What, just say what ever you want" Jay said, only now there was no fight left in his voice

"I thought...I thought you were dead, or that you had hurt yourself. I'm your best friend, I'm your roommate and I had no idea how bad you had been feeling" Carlos said sadly, voice cracking with emotion

Jay didn't say anything. He couldn't talk over the lump in his throat.

Carlos took a deep breath and continued "When you didn't answer after I said I got you dinner, I was terrified that our last conversation was going to have been that dumb argument we had. That you had been feeling so shitty and felt like you couldn't turn to anyone and that.." Carlos said stopping, now that tears were running down his face

"I thought I lost my brother" Carlos managed to get out before he let more of his tears fall

Jay finally put his head up, his own eyes wet with tears. He hated that he did this to Carlos, that he was so selfish.

"I'm sorry" Jay said, voice thick

"You don't have anything to be sorry for" Carlos said shaking his head

"I told you I didn't tell you because I wanted you to still believe that I could protect you" Jay said wiping his eyes

"I always know that you'll have my back" Carlos said

"I didn't know what to do" Jay said shaking his head

"It's ok" Carlos said

"You are like my little brother, how could I possibly dump all that on you when you had your own shit" Jay said

"Because I am your brother. That's how" Carlos said

"Jesus, Jay. If i hand't found you, if you had hurt yourself. I wouldn't survive losing you, I would never forgive myself for not being there for you. Mal and Evie wouldn't survive losing you. You mean so much to us, I wish you knew that. You're my best friend and if...dammit" Carlos said losing control of his emotions again

Jay didn't say anything he just hugged Carlos. He felt Carlos's arms go around his torso and they both stood their crying.

"I'm right here" Jay said

"Don't go anywhere on us, ok" Carlos said pulling back and wiping his eyes

The only time Carlos had seen him cry was the night they rescued him from his dad's. And it scared Carlos how vulnerable his best friend now looked.

"I'm sorry" Jay said putting his face in his hands

"Dude you have nothing to be sorry for. You can't help how you feel" Carlos said compassionately, putting his hand on Jay's shoulder

"I've been lying to you guy. I scared you all yesterday. I was an ass when you were trying to tell me how you felt about it all" Jay said, not meeting Carlos's eyes

"I don't care about any of that. All I can about is the fact that you're standing here in front of me. Because it means that you haven't given up yet" Carlos said strongly

"I don't want to keep doing this. I don't think I can. I just want to feel better" Jay said leaning against the table

"I know. And I will do anything to help you" Carlos said seriously

Jay just nodded

"Some times you need your little brother whether or like it or not" Carlos said slightly nudging him

"I love you Carlos. I do. Or at least I think that's what it is. You know one of the dreams that scared me the most was based off of some movie we watched where the family all sits down and has dinner together and just talk about their day and their lives and the brothers just go outside and throw a football and end up wrestling. We didn't have that and I never knew I wanted it. But I want that kind of happiness where nothing else matters except for the people you're with. And that scares the shit out of me" Jay admitted

"You want to feel loved, like you have place in this world. I get it, believe me I do" Carlos said

"How lame am I?" Jay asked

"You're not lame, not all. You just want your own version of a belly rub" Carlos said giving him a smile

"Who would've thought I'd want people" Jay said giving a small laugh

"You've been hurt, you don't trust easily and god knows you've pulled all of us out of some dark times. Let us in Jay. Nothing you tell us will change how we feel about you" Carlos said

"I know it will take time work though everything but also don't stop yourself from feeling happy either" Carlos added

"Thank you" Jay said seriously, slinging his arm around Carlos

"It's what brothers are for" Carlos said

"I never meant to scare you yesterday. I just felt like everything was closing in on me and I just lost it. When I saw the tourney field, by legs just buckled and I couldn't bear to face anyone so I just hid" Jay said

Carlos said something dark cross Jay's face.

"Did you ever think about, you know. Since we've been here?"

"Only a few times recently" Jay said closing his eyes, knowing Carlos wouldn't like the answer

"Did you ever?" Carlos asked shakily

"Attempt?" Jay asked

Carlos nodded

"No" Jay said shaking his head

"Good. Don't" Carlos said

"I knew it wasn't the way to fix things. Can't fix things if you're dead" Jay said trying to lighten the mood

"When you didn't answer yesterday, I really thought you had tried something and then I found you so dazed and still. I thought you had tried" Carlos admitted

"No I didn't. I was just in my own personal hell of need people" Jay said

"Promise me, just like you made Evs promise you. That if you ever feel that way again you will call me or text me or wake me up" Carlos asked seriously

"I promise" Jay said nodding

"I think I had forgotten that we are a family and that you guys aren't just using me for protection now" Jay said sadly

"It's ok. You feel whatever you feel. You've buried some dark shit down deep for years. Of course it's going to affect you" Carlos said

"But that's the thing I don't want it to. I don't want to feel this way. I don't want my father to keep winning" Jay admitted

"He's not" Carlos said kindly "You have people that care about you, people that love you and people that you care about and love. You want to do good and be on a team.

"Part of me just wants to ignore everything and move on" Jay said

"You can't ignore it. The Isle is part of who we are, but you can move on" Carlos said

"I don't know how" Jay said

"For me, I had to stop being angry at the way my mother treated me" Carlos said

"How?"

"It's why I talked to Dude. Why I took him for such long walks by myself. Getting close to the thing my mother hated and telling well in this case a dog what she did, somehow it just made me feel better. I wasn't keeping it all in anymore. You need to find your own way to get those feelings out. And yea sometimes saying it out loud will make things feel worse but and don't laugh" Carlos warned

Jay nodded

"I almost felt free from my mother after I talked to Dude. I know it sounds crazy. I knew she couldn't hurt me here, I knew that I was safe and no longer having to hide it all. It made me feel a lot better" Carlos said

"You didn't even want to come here, I mean none of us did but you were really against it" Jay said

"My mother kept telling me I was just going to be their salve"

"Ah" Jay said understanding

"Letting go of your anger won't be easy. It's messy and emotional and Jane tells me emotions were easier to deal with before hormones got in the way but I think most emotion is gross" Carlos said

Jay just laughed and shook his head. When they got to Auradon, Carlos wasn't quite and adult but he wasn't a kid anymore. He was awkwardly in between. His voice cracked, he couldn't control his limbs but now here was almost Jay's height.

"You really changed coming here, and I don't mean it in a bad way" Jay said

Carlos just shrugged

"I don't just mean the physical stuff, that would've happened regardless. But now you talk to other people, you aren't scared of your shadow. You're incredibly smart. It's a good change. And Carlos that's part of why I had a hard time telling you. I knew that yea you were still processing everything that we went through but at the same time you were so happy. You liked going class and you got all awkward around Jane and you had this maturity about you that most kids our age don't but you always had this hopeful outlook on life. I couldn't be the one to change that, I promised myself I wouldn't. I was scared that if I brought up how I was that Evie would slip back into her old ways and that Mal would run off again. I wasn't going to let my own unhappiness hurt you guys" Jay said

Carlos sat there and processed what Jay had said "Part of why I changed my outlook on life was because I thought all of you had too. Yea we all had our bad days or whatever but i really thought you guys had worked though stuff like I had. I know Mal and Evie did and on the outside you seemed to have too" Carlos said

"I wanted to be that happy, and I mean I was and I kinda am. I really like living here and tourney and I mean I really wanna kiss Lonnie again" Jay said blushing at the last part, that earned him a smirk from Carlos

"But at the same time, I was struggling in school, I was still having nightmares and we all were busy and it's not that we weren't as close..." Jay said trying to find the right words

"For the first time we had more than just the three of us" Carlos said finishing for him

Jay shook his head yes.

"I was scared of that too. I mean we all are dating, you sorta in some strange way" Carlos said beginning to smile

"Yea, yea" Jay said laughing

"But we had hobbies and other interests. Our main goal isn't just survival anymore. We don't spend half our day doing our parents bidding and trying to find something to eat" Carlos said

"You do get what I mean" Jay said doubfounded

"Uh yea, kinda where I grew up too" Carlos said surprised at Jay's reaction

"I thought I was the only one who felt that way" Jay said

"No of course not. We all had to adjust and get used to teachers actually helping us and having a school nurse and having adults that do genuinely have our best interests at heart. I guess we all just processed differently" Carlos said

"I was scared that you guys were just gonna leave me, my mom left and..." Jay said stopping himself

"You were scared of being abandoned again" Carlos said sadly

"That if you were all happy and coupley and I wasn't then you wouldn't have time for me" Jay said

"Never, Jay. We all like you for you. Good and bad" Carlos said "Plus it takes to long long to break in a new best friend" Carlos said smirking

"Thanks Carlos" Jay said sincerely

"Anytime" Carlos said clapping him on the back

"You ever feel guilty about getting a way out?" Jay asked

"Sometimes" Carlos said "But we shouldn't have been punished for our parents. We did what we had to do to survive. I know we're all trying to find ways to help the rest of the kids over there until they come over. But we can't control it. You can't let it affect you, you can only do what you can to help the situation"

"I then felt guilty that I got this second chance and was blowing it" Jay said

"Bro you can't carry all of the world's problems" Carlos said

"I just. It's weird you know, why us? There's so many other kids that had it worse than us. Other kids that are starved and abused and neglected. How'd we get out?"

"Jane and I talked about it one time. She said that there's a reason we were picked and that while we don't know what it is, it was us for a reason and you can't feel bad about it"

"Jane's been good for you" Jay said

"She has" Carlos said blushing

"Guess you don't need to protect you anymore" Jay said

"Not as much, but I still need my best friend" Carlos said

Jay smirked.

"You know it's gonna sound mushy but last night all I could think of was us going to college and you being there when I hopefully marry Jane, and us being a family together. You know one week you have dinner the next us. That kind of thing. Just what we still have in front of us, and I want my best friend for it all" Carlos said

"I do too" Jay said nodding seriously

"You can be whoever or whatever you want here, you know that right?" Carlos asked him

"I know. The flirting was all just ac act in the beginning"

"I kinda figured that out when you got nervous around Lonnie. You basically drooled when she beat you the first time"

"I didn't drool" Jay said rolling his eyes

"Uh huh" Carlos said laughing

"Whatever" Jay said lightly shoving him

"I'm not saying you need to be the cocky ass, skirt chasing, thief that you were on the Isle but it's ok to have some confidence"

"I'm working on it" Jay said

"That's all you can do" Carlos said

"I like this confident side of you" Jay said

"I do too. I mean I guess I was timid for the Isle but for here I was still stronger"

"Alright I'll give you that. You could fight. You just needed that same confidence for your mom" Jay said

"We were all scared of our parents" Carlos said

"I know. I still am" Jay said

"Admitting it is good, Jay. Look how much you've opened up without getting mad and trying to fight me just now. You're doing good. But you will have good and bad days, you just can't let the bad days overtake you" Carlos said

"I won't" Jay said

"We should get some sleep" Carlos said getting off the floor

"Thanks Carlos" Jay said seriously

"I owed you one. We're even" Carlos said lightly, smiling at his best friend

Jay just nodded and gave him a quick hug

"We crushed Dude talk" Dude said

"I thought he was asleep" Carlos said

"I will never get used to him talking" Jay said laughing

"But we did nail dude talk" Carlos said laughing

"Yea we did" Jay said laughing

* * *

Hope you all liked it! Don't forget to review or leave a suggestion! Let me know what else you want to see! Sorry I seem to be having posting issues again. Hopefully I've figured it out, just let me know if you guys are seeing the new chapters.


	19. Chapter 19

"Hey we brought breakfast" Mal said walking into the boys room with Evie

It was finally Friday and they were all exhausted, it had been a long and trying week but Jay made them promise that they would go to class.

"And coffee" Evie said

"Too loud" Jay said

"I'm surprised you're even up" Mal said to him

He was spraled out in his bed, half of his covers at the foot of the bed and some tangled around him. He had a red blanket pulled up to his head and all Mal could see was one eye and some of his hair that come out loose from his ponytail.

"Yea well I am" Jay said

"There was... an incident" Carlos said walking out of the bathroom, brushing his teeth

"You ok?" Evie asked sweetly as she went over to Jay's bed

"Yea" Jay said nodding

Evie kissed the top of his head and brushed his hair out of his face

"Jay what happened?" She asked gently

"Just a nightmare" Jay said

Evie and Mal looked at Carlos.

"It's ok. I heard him and woke up. I think he's just tired" Carlos said

"Had a panic attack too" Jay mumbled into his blanket

"Oh sweetie" Evie said running her hand through his hair

"Stop Evie. I don't need you're pity. I don't want it" Jay said pushing her and the blankets off his bed

Evie was startled and almost slipped off the bed when Jay reached out and grabbed.

"Shit, I'm sorry" Jay said

Once he steadied Evie he got up and went to the bathroom, door slamming behind him.

"C?" Evie asked

"It was pretty bad" Carlos said, not wanting to talk out of place

"Maybe one of us should stay with him" Mal said hesitantly

Jay walked out of the bathroom and saw his friends staring at him.

"Can't a guy pee in the morning?" Jay asked sarcastically going back to his bed and sitting on the end

He had his elbows on his pajama clad legs and ran his hands through his hair. The three of them looked at how tired and weary he looked. He skin was dull, he had lost some muscle, which he still didn't believe in wearing shirts to bed so it was easy to tell. His pajama pants were a little loose on his hips and they could see the deepest part of the scar on his side, below his hip bone.

"What can we do for you?" Mal asked walking over towards him

"I don't know, Mal" Jay said angrily

He had gone to bed feeling a little bit better. Talking to just Carlos had helped a lot and he was ready to try and put all of this behind him. But then he woke up to a nightmare or rather he woke up to Carlos putting water on his face and shaking him.

"You wanna talk about it?" Evie asked

"We already did" Jay said looking to Carlos

"Not really, bro" Carlos said. He had seen Jay have nightmares before, but never that bad before. Carlos didn't get much out of him, but the little bit that he did was that somehow the three of them were in it.

"You guys need to get to class" Jay said

"So we'll go late. It's fine" Evie said

"No. Go." Jay said firmly

"We can just tell them that Carlos over slept and that Evie and I had cramps or something" Mal said waving her hand

"Seriously both of you?" Jay said giving them a look

"Or we could just tell Fairy Godmother the truth" Carlos said

"You don't want to lie to your girlfriends mom?" Jay asked mocking him

"No not really" Carlos said getting slightly annoyed with Jay

"She has been understanding so far" Evie said

"Whatever" Jay said laying back down

"Well if you think we're gonna leave you like this, you're wrong" Mal said crossing her arms

"Jay come on, you promised no more secrets" Carlos said

"Just talk to us" Evie said gently

"You're not gonna like it" Jay said

"That's ok" Evie said nodding to Carlos

He pulled out his laptop and fired off a quick email to Fairy Godmother telling her that they were going to be late for class but they would explain later.

"What happened last night" Mal gently prodded

"No I can't. I won't hurt you guys" Jay said rolling over so he wasn't facing them

"Jay we're safe here. You're safe with us and we're safe with you. Please" Evie said gently

_Carlos woke up to grunting and muffled noises and to Dude jumping on his chest. He bolted up and flipped on the lamp beside his bead and saw that Jay was thrashing around his bed. His covers were all over the place, some of the pillows were on the floor. He face was twisted in pain and he kept mumbling things Carlos couldn't quite make out._

_"Jay" Carlos yelled getting out of bed_

_He shook Jay and Dude was barking. He lightly tapped Jay's face, but noting, Jay just kept swinging._

_"I tried that" Dude said to Carlos_

_"Jay, it's Carlos. Wake up buddy" Carlos said, practically yelling_

_Jay swung and Carlos ducked narrowly avoiding being hit._

_He grabbed his water bottle off his nightstand and poured a little on Jay's face and then tried to shake him again. He was still thrashing so Carlos pulled him in for a hug, hoping to subdue his body._

_Jay came to pushed Carlos off of him._

_"What the hell Carlos" Jay said yelling_

_Carlos got off his bed quickly and leaned against the nightstand so Jay didn't feel like he was hovering over him._

_"I think you were having a nightmare" Carlos said folding his arms_

_"Oh" Jay said looking around his bed._

_His hair was out of the ponytail, his bed was a mess and he was sweaty and panting. It hit him what his nightmare was about and he quickly looked away from Carlos._

_"Jay" Carlos said trying to read his friend_

_"It's fine" Jay said shaking_

_"You're not fine" Carlos said pushing off the nightstand_

_"Just go back to sleep. I'm sorry I woke you" Jay said_

_"I don't care about that. Are you ok?" Carlos asked still worried "Do you want me to call the girls?"_

_"No. Just go back to sleep. I'll be asleep in the bathtub" Jay said trying to untangle himself_

_"You need to stay in your bed, it's the only way you will get past these nightmares" Carlos said sternly_

_"Just go back to sleep, or you'll be tired" Jay said defeated_

_"I'm already exhausted from this week. I'll get a coffee before class"_

_"You don't like coffee"_

_"I'll learn to like it" Carlos said stubbornly_

_"Jay, what was it about? Your dad?" Carlos asked gently_

_"Just stop ok" Jay said running his hands across his face_

_"Dude you're shaking" Carlos said moving closer to him_

_"I'm fine" Jay said_

_"You're not and that's ok. That's what I'm here for" Carlos said sitting on Jay's bed_

_"I can't tell you" Jay said looking down_

_"Why not?" Carlos asked_

_"Because, I can't ok." Jay said starting to panic_

_"Easy, easy" Carlos said not wanting Jay to go into a full blown panic_

_"Lay down ok" Carlos said helping Jay lay down "Deep breaths" Carlos said as he rubbed Jay's chest like he had seen Evie do_

_"Whatever it was, it can't hurt you" Carlos said quietly_

_"I'm sorry" Jay said, emotions rising_

_Before Carlos could reach for Jay's water, he was shaking harder and had a few tears run down his face._

_"Shh, it's ok" Carlos tried to soothe_

_Jay had that icy, glazed over look in his eye that scared Carlos and he was just shaking._

_"Jay it's me, it's Carlos" Carlos said calmly_

_Jay didn't respond so he laid down next to Jay and wrapped his arms around him. He read somewhere that pressure could make someone feel more comforted so he held onto him as tight as he could and Dude cuddled up on his other side._

_"You're ok, you're safe now Jay" Carlos said_

_Jay slowly came out of his trance and realized he was holding onto Carlos for dear life. He looked at Carlos, he seemed concerned but not horrified._

_"If you want to sleep in the bathtub, I'll come sleep on the floor ok" Carlos said_

_"No, it's fine" Jay said, voice horse_

_"OK" Carlos said nodding_

_"I can't talk about it right now" Jay said shakily_

_"That's ok, you wanna write it out? Go to the gym? What can I do to help you?" Carlos asked_

_"Dunno" Jay said sadly_

_"Why don't you try getting some sleep, and then we can talk about it in the morning. If you're ready" Carlos said calmly_

_Jay nodded and Carlos went to get up when he felt Jay's grip tighten on his arm._

_He should have known Jay would never have verbally asked him to stay, but this was him reaching out and Carlos wouldn't let me down_

_"I was just gonna grab my pillow. You think two of us can fit in this bed with Dude?" Carlos asked_

_Jay just closed his eyes, thankful that Carlos knew what he was asking._

_Carlos grabbed his pillow and Dude settled in between them. They both were petting Dude, they wouldn't cuddle like the girls, but both having a hand on Dude was comforting. _

* * *

"Do you want to talk about it now?" Carlos asked gently

"Not really" Jay said

"Are you ever going to want to talk about?" Evie asked

"Not likely" Jay said

"Then just get it over with" Mal said

"You guys won't like it" Jay said

"We don't have to like your nightmares" Carlos said, slightly confused by what he meant

"Whenever you're ready" Evie said sitting next to him. He hadn't rolled back towards them, to Evie just poked his butt cheek

"Don't do that" Jay said slightly laughing as he turned to face her

"Did the job though" Evie said smiling to him

Jay sat up next to Evie and Mal and Carlos dragged the chairs over to Jay's bed. He had his feet on his bedframe and his elbows propped on his thighs.

"I actually slept pretty well until this happened last night" Jay said

"That's good" Evie encouraged

"Then Carlos woke me or I woke him. I'm not really sure" Jay said

"Can you tell us what it was about?" Mal asked gently

Jay nodded and closed his eyes and hand his fingers through his hair.

"You didn't remember last night when you first woke up, did you? When you did, that's when..." Carlos said putting everything together

Jay just nodded. Carlos swallowed hard, knowing whatever Jay was going to tell them wouldn't be easy.

"I uh, we. We were back on the Isle, we got sent back. Not sure why. Um my dad, he was worse. And I don't remember everything but um. You guys came to check on me. He had me changed to a wall again, and uh you guys. You tried, but then he" Jay said stopping

Evie looked at Carlos to see if what Jay had said was making sense to him. Carlos shook his head no. Jay was a man of few words and when he was nervous, babbling wasn't really his thing. The three of them exchanged a worried look and Evie took Jay's hand in hers.

"Jay, nothing. And I mean absolutely nothing you tell us will change the fact that we love you" Evie said strongly

Jay looked up at her and nodded. He knew she meant it and that gave him the confidence to keep talking.

"It didn't make much sense" Jay said, referencing what he had just said

"Nah buddy. It's ok. Start over" Carlos said lightly

"We got sent back, I don't know why. I think it was something I did. And we all hated our lives. Our parents were worse and they limited how much we saw each other. Everyone there kinda hated us. It was my fault. And then I don't remember why but my dad chained me to the wall. I couldn't get free. All I could hear was him telling you guys that I didn't want to see you or be friends with you, that I was just using all of you anytime you came to see me" Jay said taking a deep breath

Evie now had her left arm around Jay's back and had his right hand in hers.

"We know that's not true Jay" Carlos said

"Can I finish, first?" Jay asked worried he wouldn't be able to get it all out

Carlos nodded.

"I could hear you guys trying to figure out where I was, but I couldn't warn you or call out to you or talk. You should've stayed away" Jay said getting agitated

"Easy" Carlos said lightly tapping Jay's knee to bring him back to the present

"You guys eventually got in and found me. All of you were beat up and too thin and had bruises and cuts. No one was there to protect you" Jay said sadly

"You saw me chained up and tried to get me out but, but you couldn't and then..." Jay said stopping

No one said anything. Evie just held onto him tighter and Mal put her hand on his leg and Carlos leaned forward.

"He, he came into the room yelling and scared and he..." Jay said wincing and shaking his head

"He grabbed Carlos first" Jay said

Carlos, to his credit, didn't flinch or react. He just put is hand on top of Mal's on Jay's leg.

"He...He...Carlos. Knife" Jay said feeling tears spill from his eyes "Fuck" he said

"Keep going. I'm right" Carlos said breaking Jay out of his trance

"He sliced Carlos's neck enough that he was conscious and bleeding. Then he did the same thing to Mal and then Evie" Jay said stopping

Carlos blinked back any emotion he had. He saw Mal and Evie's eyes threatening to spill over and he didn't want to scare Jay.

"He then...he let me out of the shackles and he beat me up a little. I couldn't fight him off after he started hitting the three of you on the ground. Then he said that if you died then it was on me...because...because I couldn't save you. That the only people..." Jay said stopping and looking up at the ceiling, trying not to let the stream of tears run down his face

"The only people" Jay tried again, voice high, barely able to get the words out.

Evie let go of his hand and wrapped both arms around him when she realized he had let go of Mal's hand and was angrily and furiously scratching at his side scar.

"The only people that might have thought I wasn't totally worthless" Jay said pausing

"That I let them down, that I didn't protect them and I was worthless to everyone. I finally moved and you guys, all of you, none of you..." Jay said stopping, not being able to talk anymore

"Jay" Carlos said gently, his voice thick

Jay shook his head no so Carlos stopped talking.

"You guys left me too, but it was my fault. I couldn't protect you. And you died, you all fucking died because I couldn't protect you from my father" Jay yelled, crying

Mal and Evie hugged Jay as tight as they could and Carlos sat there processing what his best friend said.

"Jay, Jay come back. Where ever your mind is come back to us right now" Evie said through her tears, she was trying to be strong but she couldn't help crying

Evie took one of Jay's hands and put it over her heart.

"It's Evie, I'm alive and I'm right here" She said holding his hand to her chest. Mal did the Same and then she motioned for Carlos to come closer.

"We're all right here" Carlos said "It was just a nightmare. You said you were scared of losing us and that's what nightmares are, sometimes it's on real events and sometimes it's your own fear. But dude, we all right the hell here and we're ok" Carlos said

"I'm sorry" Jay said, arms falling limp at his sides "I couldn't, if I had done something else" Jay said looking at his hands in his lap

All he could see was blood on them even though there wasn't any.

"Jay, Jay" Carlos said in the deepest voice he could muster

Jay slightly lifted his head.

Carlos took both of his hands and looked directly in his eyes.

"It's me. It's Carlos. We're in Auradon. You're safe. We're safe. You didn't let us down, we're right here with you" Carlos said mustering all the confidence he could

Jay blinked a few times and looked around. It was like he came back to the present. He looked at his hands. They were clean, he looked around. he wasn't on the second floor on his father's shop. He was in his dorm room.

"You're not..."

"No, we're not" Mal said seriously

"It was a dream Jay, you didn't lose us. We didn't leave you, we would never leave you" Evie said putting her head on his shoulder

He wiped his eyes and looked around the room again. It was so lifelike, he didn't know what was real and what wasn't. He pulled his feet up to him and wrapped his arms around his legs.

"It's ok" Evie soothed, playing with his hair

Jay just nodded, not trusting himself to talk.

"Is that, is that the worst nightmare you've had?" Mal asked hesitantly

Jay nodded yes.

"It's ok, it'll get better from here" Mal said

There was a knock at the door and all four of them jumped.

Carlos got up and went to open it. He opened it enough to see who it was but so no one could see Jay.

"What Chad?" Carlos asked rolling his eyes

"There's a lot of screaming coming from here. I'm going to report you. It's in the" Chad said before Carlos cut him off

"In the handbook I know. Sorry. Video games got out of control this morning" Carlos said "Don't want to be late for class" Carlos said quickly closing the door and locking it.

"Jay, what do you need or what do you want us to do?" Carlos asked, not knowing what to do

"Don't know" Jay said still processing

"that's ok" Evie said looking up trying to stop her tears form falling.

Carlos walked into the bathroom and walked back over to the other three and handed Evie and small pack of make up wipes.

"You have blue all over your face" Carlos said trying not to smirk

Jay looked at Evie and burst out laughing. Evie looked slightly alarmed and then looked at Mal who started laughing, who also had purple all over her eyes.

"You should see yourself" Jay said, still hysterically laughing

All four of them laughed and they couldn't stop. Evie and Mal wipes their faces and when Jay looked at Evie and took the wipe for her. Getting the remaining blue that was left on her cheeks.

Evie squeezed his arm and put her head on his shoulder where she realized that he now had blue all over him too.

"It's a good look" Carlos said laughing, something compelled him to take a picture of his three best friends, with blue and purple smeared across them. He caught Jay mid laugh and when he looked at his, it was the smile that he knew. It wasn't forced.

"I love you guys" Mal said opening her arm for Carlos to come join.

Carlos sat on the small amount of mattress that was between Mal and Jay and Mal wrapped her arm around Carlos linking it was Evie's.

"Thank you for telling us, and not hiding it" Evie said hugging him

Once they broke from their hug, Carlos turned to Jay seriously.

"Jay I don't want you to freak out, but I do think you need to talk to someone that can help you better than us" Carlos said seriously "I've been researching it and I think you're experiencing..." Carlos said before Jay cut him off

"PTSD" Jay said quietly

Mal and Evie looked between the two of them.

"I did some research yesterday" Jay said "You were right the other day when you said I need more help than you guys can give me" Jay said

"Jay?" Mal asked shocked

"It would explain being scared of a bed, the nightmares, aggression, sleep problems" Jay said trailing off

"Moodiness" Carlos said smiling at him

"Thank bro" Jay said sarcastically

"It can also be part of your problem with school too" Carlos said seriously again

"Evs, come on don't cry" Jay said looking at her

"I just want you to be ok" Evie said trying to smile

"I will" Jay said, feeling his emotions catch in his throat

"Maybe talking last night caused your worst fear to happen in your dreams, but at least for me. Talking about it helped so maybe you can start to heal" Carlos said

"How do you feel now?" Evie asked him

"I don't know. I feel like I don't know anything" Jay said

"And that's ok" Mal said

"Why don't I email Fairy Godmother and tell her none of us are going to class today" Carlos said

"Go" Jay said

"Do you really want us to?" Mal asked him

"I don't know" Jay said

"Then we're staying" Mal said

Carlos nodded and grabbed his laptop and emailed Fairy Godmother to tell her of their change of plans.

"I'm sorry, you guys should be in class. Not worrying about me" Jay said

"We're right where we need to be" Evie said

"Why don't you go shower? You woke up pretty sweaty" Carlos said to him

"Yea I feel kinda grimy" Jay said getting up and grabbing clothes out of his dresser

"C, you ok?" Evie asked once they heard the water turn on

"Yea, it just. I've never seen him have a nightmare like that" Carlos said shaking his head

"You did good, really good" Evie said hugging him

"I was scared, believe me" Carlos said hugging her back

"You knew what to say to him to get him to go back to sleep even if he didn't tell you about it then" Mal said hugging him

Mal and Evie put fresh sheets on Jay's bed and cleaned up a little. Jay hadn't been the neatest this week and he had clothes strewn about along with various pieces to his tourney gear.

"Dude your pads reek" Carlos said holding them out

"Yea I gotta wash all this stuff this weekend. Cup and spandex too" Jay said taking the shirt from Carlos

"Didn't need to know that" Mal said

Jay just rolled his eyes and put everything in his hamper.

"You guys didn't have to make my bed" Jay said, he felt touched that they did that for him.

"We put fresh sheets on it for you, they always make me feel better" Evie said

"I'm guessing you sprayed it with that weird lavender stuff?" Jay asked giving her a smirk

"No, I don't have it with me" Evie said

"So why don't you eat and then tell us what you want to do" Mal said

"I don't know what to do today" Jay said

"That's ok" Mal said

"I thought about going to the Hall of Villian's and kinda just talking to my dad, well more I guess telling him off"

"Then we all go" Evie said

"I guess" Jay shrugged

"You don't have to do it today" Mal said

"I don't think I can hold onto the anger much longer" Jay said quietly

"Ok" Carlos said

"I was just going to go by myself" Jay said

"Yea well you're not getting away from us that easily" Carlos said

"We can find things to do in the museum, but we aren't leaving you alone"

"You're never alone" Evie said

"We got your back" Carlos said

"You always have us" Mal said walking over to him

Jay gave them a small nod and grabbed a bagel and walked out of his door.

The other three figured he would have eaten first so they scrambled to grab their things and follow him to the museum. Carlos kinda understand what Jay was going to do, you say your peace to the fake parent and they can't hurt you back.

* * *

Hi everyone, I think the updates still aren't working properly. Please let me know if you are able to see the new chapters and what you think. Also do you guys want to see what Jay says to Jay far or at the museum or do you want me to advance it a few weeks and do it more as a flash-black. Any other ideas you have, let me know! Don't forget to review please, they really do help!


	20. Chapter 20

"Jay, wait up" Carlos called out to Jay jogging up to him

"What?" Jay asked nervously

"You don't have to do this today, you don't have to do this alone and you don't have to do this with us. I don't want you to feel like anyone's forcing you into it" Carlos said quietly so the girls didn't hear

"I can't be angry anymore, C" Jay sad weakly

"Ok, I just want to make sure you're doing this for you and no one else" Carlos said

Jay just gave him a small nod as walked forward.

Jay and Carlos didn't exactly wait for the girls so Mal and Evie hung back but they could see that the boys waited for the them at the top of the stairs of the museum. They took each other's hands for strength and continued up the stairs.

Jay started walking to the Hall of Villains and parked himself down against the wall. Carlos took another way and motioned for the girls to find another spot, so he didn't feel overcrowded.

Jay caught of glimpse of Mal and Evie's concerned looks and was thankful that Carlos sent them away. He couldn't protect them form his own feelings or their fears fo their parents right now.

Carlos didn't say anything, he pulled out his laptop and started working on something Jay couldn't quite see. He fished out a notebook Evie had given him a while ago and he started to mindlessly doodle. Evie walked around admiring all of the fashion and taking inspiration for a new line while Mal was still continuing to learn the full history of Auradon.

Carlos kept checking on Jay, glancing sideways to make sure he was ok. He went back to typing one of his final papers when he heard Jay throw something.

His head snapped up and he saw Jay run his hands through his hair. Carlos quietly went over and sat next to his best friend without saying a word.

"I know you want to see what I drew so just go pick it up" Jay said defeated

Carlos walked a few feet away and picked up the notebook and crumpled paper and went back and sat next to Jay. He quietly handed him the notebook and Carlos then started to unfold the paper. He heard Jay inhale sharply so he squeezed his shoulder and continued.

What Carlos saw, most wouldn't understand. It was what was a form of Jafar, only scarier standing over a much smaller Jay, vicious scar lining his torso and three scattered bodies even smaller, next to him. While Jay only really doodled in pencil Carlos could tell that the stuff dripping from Jay's hands, was his friend's blood. Jay had a look of disbelief drawn on his face, Jay hadn't drawn the three of them with their faces to the page but he assumed they were dead.

"Is this what is looked like last night?" Carlos asked, voice thick

"Mhmm" Jay said, not daring to look at Carlos

"I'd be pretty scared too" Carlos said

"But you're dead because I failed you" Jay said not taking his head off the wall

"I'm not dead, and you didn't fail me" Carlos said gently placing the paper next to him

"Feels like it" Jay said

"If anything were to happen to any of us, I know that you would have done everything you could have to protect us. You did do everything to protect us, we're all here and we're ok. You tried so hard to make sure we were ok that you never even considered yourself. Dude, I mean that's not what a worthless, incapable of loving person does. You literally put us before you and while it might have been to hide your own pain you still cared enough about us. You weren't going to let Mal go back to the Isle alone, either time. If you didn't care about Evie you would have let her keep starving herself. You would have let the Gastons do whatever to both of them. You wouldn't have woken up with me everynight I had nightmares when we first got here. Yea you teased me about liking Jane but when it was just the two of us, you gave me solid advice, you took beatings from my mother when you decided I had enough. You risked your own life on the Isle for us time and time again. And we all got out alive" Carlos said pausing

Jay looked up at Carlos finally and Carlos could see he was trying to believe everything he was telling him.

"We all made it out because of you. We are doing ok here, because of you. You've always been our older brother, nothing will change that. There isn't anything you can say to me to change how much I care about you, don't listen to what your dad's been telling you. Listen to what me, Evie and Mal have been telling you. You haven't failed anyone, bro. You just need to take some time for yourself. We can manage while you do that" Carlos said hoping he'd reach Jay.

Jay stayed quiet longer than Carlos would have liked.

"Look if you don't want to be vulnerable in front of the girls that's fine. I know you're trying to protect them and Auradon is big on damsals in distress. So then talk to me, confide in me. I can take your shit, Jay"

"You can't" Jay said

"Why can't I? I'm a big boy now" Carlos said trying not to get frustrated

"You'll hate me" Jay said weakly

"Dude, I'm not going to hate you, why do you keep saying that?" Carlos asked

"You don't get it" Jay said lamely

"Ok, then make me get it"

"How the fuck do you want me to tell you that all my nightmares end with the three of you dying because I couldn't protect you or dying because of something my father made me do?" Jay asked shouting

Carlos stayed silent trying to process what Jay had said. He really did believe what his father had been saying that it's all his fault.

"Why would I give you guys another reason to leave me?" Jay said fighting back his emotions

His hands were balled into fists and he was grabbing his sweatshirt.

"Look at me right now" Carlos said forcefully

Jay slightly recoiled by complied.

"I can't make you listen to us or trust us, I know that. But you can't keep treating yourself like shit just because it's what your dad used to do. I know nightmares are scary and lifelike, but they aren't real. We're not scared of you. Why are you so scared that if you fully open up to us that we will leave you? We know how you grew up, we have some idea of your pain. We would never leave you to deal with all of that. I promise you, I won't leave you to deal with it" Carlos said, voice threatening to expose the tough exterior he was trying to put out

"You will. I would" Jay said sadly

"You haven't left any of us" Carlos said gently

"You don't keep having nightmares of failing your friends to their death" Jay said

"No I don't. I have others but you know that. Jay we're all strong, we've all been through a lot. Mostly together, don't shut us out now. Yea sure maybe Auradon has softened us, but shit we can still throw down when needed. Just ask Uma" Carlos said giving him a small smirk

"I don't know how to explain it"

"In wanting to protect us you're pushing us away creating the thing you fear the most" Carlos said

Jay just looked at him.

"Yea, I'm smarter than I look" Carlos said putting his hand on Jay's shoulder

"But luckily for you, we're all stubborn and we're not letting you go that easily" Carlos said

"Jay you've been there for us through everything, you really think we're gonna ditch you because you're trying to figure out what emotions are?" Mal asked walking over to them

"You've been the biggest pain in the ass when trying to protect us, now it's our turn"

"We can't make you confide in us or trust us but I really hope that despite all the pain you're feeling that you know deep down that we're always here for you" Carlos said

"Emotions can be scary, trust me. I ran away from them. But you guys were the ones who understand that and brought me back. You don't have to rationalize it to us, Jay. We get it. We love you, for you." Mal said

Jay felt a tear escape his eye when Mal said they loved him. He quickly brushed it away but Evie caught his hand, unballed it from the fist and calmly held it in her delicate hand.

"Maybe we didn't want to see that you were hurting at first because you are stronger than us, so then where did that leave us if you were processing everything that happened to us. That if this stuff can still touch you here, then the there was no hope for the three of us" Evie said

"I think it's time we stop trying to force ourselves into something that we're not. We can be part Isle and part Auradon. There's nothing wrong with that" Carlos said

"Jay this is your three best friends telling you that no matter what you tell us or how dark it gets that we're right here with you. We're not going anywhere. We're not backing down from you or your emotions. It's ok to be vulnerable with us, it's ok to let your guard down" Evie said squeezing his hand

"I know you've had these walls built around you for so long that it's scary to take them down. But being vulnerable sometimes isn't the worst thing in the world. And I know you hate crying but maybe you just gotta let it all out, see how it all shakes out and no matter how it does. We will be right here with you" Carlos said

"Fuck" Jay said pulling his sweatshirt hood up, eyes watery

"Just let it all out" Evie said

"I'm...I'm scared to" Jay admitted

"It's ok to be scared" Mal said

"You will stop crying, I promise" Carlos said

"It doesn't make you any weaker" Evie said

"You're not letting us down by having emotions, Jay. We all have them" Mal said

"It hurts too much" Jay said quietly, his hand scratching his side

"Then let us help you" Evie said

"It hurts right now, I get that. But keeping it all in is hurting you more" Mal said

"You've never been allowed to be scared before, of course opening up will be scary" Carlos said

"What if at the end of it all you realize how pathetic I actually am and how much of a mess I am and you don't want to deal with it, you don't want the guy that can't stop crying" Jay said

"We ship you back to Uma" Carlos deadpanned

Jay's eyes flashed with fear and Carlos realized too late it wasn't time for jokes.

"I'm kidding. Shit, Jay, I was kidding" Carlos said frantic "Mal literally turns into a dragon and we keep her around" Carlos said which only earned him a glare from Mal

"What I think they both mean is that you've pulled us out of our biggest fears and biggest traumas, you aren't expected to do the same for yourself" Evie said

"What if after it's all over I'm still not capable of loving or being loved. Everyone will eventually move on with their lives." Jay said

"If we didn't love you, we wouldn't be sitting here with you now. You are always capable of being loved. And Jay if you weren't capable of loving you would have never helped me or Mal or Carlos. You would have done your same flirting ways with Lonnie because you wouldn't have cared about hurting her. You keep saying you don't want us to get hurt with what's going on with you. And someone that doesn't want to be loved wouldn't think that" Evie said

"It's not easy, we know that. But we also know how beautiful life can be when you do feel better. You need to let go of being angry and let go of the fear of your father of failing yourself or us or whoever and just let yourself be you" Mal said

"We're not scared of you, we're scared of not having you" Carlos said

"Whether we're fighting pirates or sitting in class, we need you" Evie said

"Nothing and no one in our lives will ever change that" Mal said

"We'll always be..."Evie said smirking

"Rotten to the core" Mal and Carlos finished

They looked over at Jay when he didn't answer and saw tears rolling down his face and could see his shoulders shaking.

"Jay what is it?" Evie asked

He just shook his head.

"Jay, you need to use some words" Mal said

Jay just shook his head harder and squeezed his eyes tighter.

"We finally convince you that we're not leaving?" Carlos asked gently

Jay gave them a small nod and they all moved to hug him.

"We've got you" Evie said holding his head to her chest.

"Just let it all out" Mal said

"Told you" Carlos said nudging him with his shoulder.

Carlos had his left shoulder against the wall and his right hand on Jay's right shoulder. Evie had sat herself on the floor and pulled Jay closer to her and was at his knees, holding his hand. They moved closer together around Jay and he finally let go of the emotions he had been holding in.

"Love you" Evie whispered into his hair as he cried

Jay didn't know what finally made his release these emotions but Carlos was right, he truly believed that the three of them wouldn't leave him. No matter what he told them. Rotten to the core was the last straw and he started to let go of all of the fear, pain and anger and hurt that he had buried down for so many years. He was pretty sure he had a death grip on Carlos's arm as he was slumped against Evie while holding Mal's hand.

Jay felt like his whole body hurt, he couldn't stop himself from shaking, it was like his entire life was playing through his head. He was getting agitated and started trashing.

"Let it out, let it go, whatever it is. I got you" He heard Carlos tell him. He felt more weight on his right side and figured it was Carlos.

He felt like he was mumbling, he felt like he was in another body. How was it possible to hurt this much.

He cried out at one point and felt the other three hug him tighter.

He remembered the first time his father hit him, the verbal abuse started young, but his father hadn't actually laid a hand on him until he was around seven or eight.

"Daddy no" Jay yelled

The other three knew his father started abusing him fairly young but he never told them when or how.

He wasn't sure how long they were like that or how long he cried for but he didn't think his tears were stopping anytime soon.

"You're safe, sweetie" He heard Evie tell him as she brushed some hair out of his face

"You're doing great" Mal coached

"We got you, buddy" Carlos said

The other three could feel their own emotions rising to the surface and they couldn't contain them. Jay had been in pain for so long and they didn't know how much he had pushed back. He was mumbling and flailing at times, but would quiet if they hugged him tighter.

"No, it hurts" Jay yelled clutching onto his side

Carlos saw how hard he kept grabbing it and his hands were overpowering Mal's. His sweatshirt and t-shirt had ridden up and Carlos saw not only the scar but also the angry marks around it since Jay seemed to think he was fighting Jafar off now.

Carlos pulled him tighter to him and wrapped his arms around his stomach so Jay couldn't keep trying to tear his side off.

"It's over, it's in the past. He can't hurt you" Carlos said, he willed himself to sound strong but with his own tears, he didn't think that happened.

"Can't, protect Evie" Jay yelled. Carlos saw how sad Evie looked that he was in pain because of her and Mal wrapped her arm around her. Evie then laid right next to Jay's left side and tried to form her body to his to absorb some of his pain.

"It's ok, it's ok" Evie said through her tears

They all knew what he was thinking about and they held him as tight as they could while they all processed it.

Jay would shout random words or phrases, it was like his mind wasn't even in the same room as them.

"Make it stop" Jay yelled as he cried harder

"I'm not, I'm not" Jay kept yelling

"You're perfect and wonderful and we love you" Mal said, now sitting at his head.

"You're safe, buddy" Carlos coaxed

Jay was now laying curled up against himself, tears still falling. His head was by Carlos's knee and Evie was at his back and so Mal moved closer to Carlos.

Evie sat there rubbing his back gently and everytime he flinched she took her hands off him. Mal started scratching his head, something that relaxed him all these years when nothing else would and Carlos had his hand, giving him the strength he didn't currently have.

"It...it hurts" jay hiccuped. Carlos was over his face instantly checking him over

"Hey" Mal said gently as he kept blinking

"It hurts, everything hurts" Jay mumbled

"It's ok" Evie said still rubbing his back

"No they left" Jay said closing his eyes

"No we're all right here. See buddy, we're all right here" Carlos said squeezing his shoulder

Jay opened his eyes and tried to sit up. He was shaky and pale, and looked like he might be sick.

"Easy" Carlos said helping him sit up.

Jay was now leaning agains the wall and Carlos was supporting him from the side. Jay slumped and head went onto Carlos's shoulder.

"It's ok" Carlos said wrapping an arm around Jay.

Mal grabbed Jay his water out of his backpack and gently placed it in his hands.

He tried to take a sip but instead spilled most of it onto Carlos.

"Thanks, man" Carlos said smiling at him and drying his own eyes with the sleeve of his sweatshirt.

Evie looked at Jay's watch and she was pretty sure he just cried for almost two hours straight.

"Jay, how hold?" Mal asked, not entirely sure she should.

They all sat frozen.

"You don't have to" Carlos said glaring at Mal

"Around seven" Jay said weakly, tears still falling

"Oh sweetie" Evie said hugging him

"How you feeling?" Carlos asked

"Dunno" Jay shrugged

"That's ok" Evie said

"Remember those balloons I stole from Family Day?" Jay asked

They all nodded

"Remember how I kept popping them to scare Carlos?"

"Yea" Carlos said rolling his eyes

"But he asked me to finally stop so I did and the last few slowly deflated. That's how I feel" Jay said

"It's ok, you can feel whatever you need to now" Mal said

"Evie could fight me right now and win" Jay said

"It's ok. We can fight for you right now" Carlos said

"I just feel feeling like I'm going to cry again" Jay said

"It's ok if you do" Carlos eased

"I'm tired" Jay said, not lifting his head off Carlos's shoulder

"That's ok. It's to be expected" Mal said

"What you did today was really brave" Evie said

"I fucking cried in a museum. How's that brave" Jay snapped

He closed his eyes and mentally yelled at himself.

"It is brave, because it's something you've been avoiding" Carlos said

"I'm sorry Evie. God I sound like my father" Jay said cringing

"You don't" Evie said

"I snapped for no reason" Jay said

"We all do" Evie siad

"It's part of being a family, we put up with and take scare of each other" Mal said

"Know what I love about us? And that we have on all of Auradon?" Evie asked

The other three just looked at her.

"We know how to be there for each other when things are hard. We know that we not only have each other's backs just doing whatever but when shit hits the fan, I know we still have each other's backs. No one can take what we went though from us" Evie said

"We've been through a lot together. Nothing will change that. No one will fully understand what we've been through. You guys are my family, nothing and no one will change that" Carlos said

"I'm sorry I've put you guys through so much lately" Jay said quietly

"Look at me" Carlos said forcefully

Jay did as he was told.

"I just said we're family. You didn't put us through anything. We stick together, we always have each other's backs. No matter what" Carlos said

"Thanks" Jay said awkwardly

He wiped away a few stray tears.

"God I'm a mess" Jay said rolling his eyes

"We've all been a mess. And we all came out of it stronger" Mal said putting her hand on his leg

"You've been hurt badly. No one expects you to get over it in a day" Evie said

"Emotions suck" Jay said which earned him a laugh from his friends

"You guys don't want to leave?" Jay asked nervously

"You're smarter than that" Mal said

"You didn't leave me when I didn't listen" Evie said

"You're my best friend" Carlos said

Jay felt his eyes start to well up again.

"Sorry" He said

"Nothing to be sorry for. You can't keep fighting your emotions" Mal said

"It just hurts, and it sucks and I just want to stop crying" Jay said

"You will buddy. I promise" Carlos said

"Have, have any of you guys forgiven your parents?" Jay asked

"I didn't forgive my mom, but I'm not angry at her anymore" Carlos said

"She kinda got what she deserved. But I still struggle with feeling guilty over it"

"I haven't forgiven her yet for always making me feel less than, but I'm not angry anymore. It is what it is. And someone who loves me told me how great I am and that I should know my own worth" Evie said nudging Jay with her knee

"I meant every word" Jay said

"Now it's time for you to finally accept that you deserved better" Mal said

Jay nodded.

"I wanna see that smile that always makes me feel better" Mal said brushing her hand on his cheek

"I'm not ready yet" Jay said

"That's ok" Mal said

"Why don't we give you some time to just process, we'll be walking around" Evie said

Jay nodded. He kinda figured the girls would keep crying if they looked at him

"Stay?" Jay asked Carlos quietly

"Of course, bro" Carlos said

Jay took the notebook from Carlos and started to doodle.

Some time had passed when Carlos checked on him again.

"What are you drawing now?" Carlos said putting his laptop down

"It's...it's not done. Don't look" Jay said trying to cover it

"Please" Carlos asked

Jay moved his hand and yea it wasn't finished but it brought a smile to Carlos's face.

It was the beginnings of Jay and Carlos throwing a football in the Enchanted Lake, Lonnie and Jane also splashing around in the water. Mal and Ben were setting up a picnic and for all of them and Doug and Evie were getting ready to jump off of the rock into the water.

Dude was laying on the picnic area with the little doggy life jacket sunning himself.

Carlos didn't say anything, he just tightly hugged his best friend.

"What?" Jay asked scared

"Sorry, it's just. It's how I imagine all of us. Finally happy, you know. Having fun, having each other. Having food to eat. I'm just glad you haven't given up on that" Carlos said quickly wiping his eyes

"As long as you guys don't give up on me" Jay said

"Not ever" Carlos said hugging Jay

Jay hugged him back and turned to face him before he talked.

"Thanks for being the best little brother a guy could have" Jay said sincerely

Carlos just nodded, he didn't trust himself to be able to talk. He lightly shoved Jay's shoulder and Jay ruffled his hair.

"I've been thinking of everything I want to say to my dad. I'm gonna sit here and write it out. In front of his statue" Jay said seriously

"I'm right here if you need me" Carlos said sincerely

* * *

Thanks for all the support so far! Next chapter will also be a little deep but then it'll start to get happier! Don't forget to leave reviews, they really motivate me and encourage me to keep writing and they also let me know what you guys like so I know what to focus on!


	21. Chapter 21

Fair warning, this chapter will be fairly dark. Thanks for everyone's support so far and don't forget to review!

* * *

Carlos kept looking up at Jay, Jay told him to leave him alone while he did this. The girls didn't know it but Carlos and Jay had come to the museum fairly early on when they were here and Carlos just yelled at his mom and wrote out everything he had been though. Jay thought it was a little silly, but it clearly helped his best friend a lot so here he was doing the same thing. He knew Carlos kept staring at him, but he needed to get it all out onto paper without being interrupted despite the mumbling to himself and the tears that fell.

He calmed himself and grabbed fresh paper and wrote Jafar at the top. He couldn't believe he was actually going to be putting everything that his father did to him out there but he figured he couldn't keep it all in anymore.

He scribbled and wrote and cried. Carlos kept moving closer to him and by the time he finished he was sitting right next to him. Carlos knew not to interrupt him so every time Jay seemed to get more agitated, Carlos, without saying a word scooted a little closer to Jay.

Jay had never written so furiously before, not even when trying to finish a test he hadn't properly studied for. He broke a pen, ink going on his hand and paper. Carlos didn't say anything, he just put a fresh pen in Jay's hand. He had to get it all out on paper before it ate him alive. He felt like he couldn't write fast enough.

Eventually, Jay dropped the note book, his writing was pages long, it was angry, and sad and it was his entire childhood written out. He felt a little better, maybe he should write letters to his friends too. Just so they know how much they mean to him. He could feel the anger leaving his body as he wrote, he wasn't scared of writing it down. It was easier than talking. And despite everything that was inked onto the paper his friends were still here.

Carlos waited a second to see what Jay would do next. He took a hard, long look at his best friend, the guy that tried so hard to hide all of his emotions and feelings, the guy that didn't want to just be known as a thief of the dumb jock, or the kid that grew up getting abused. There was only a handful of times Carlos had ever seen Jay this distraught, it scared him so he couldn't imagine how Jay was feeling. Jay was slumped against the wall, he looked exhausted and drained. He looked sad and scared and no matter how had he pulled his maroon hood up over his head, it still showed his raw, true emotion. He fought it for so long that after he threw the notebook down, he felt like he just wanted to crawl out of his own skin. It was out, his most traumatizing moments, the times that utterly broke him. It was all out on paper now and he didn't know if he should throw up or laugh at the fact that one person had experienced all that pain and fought it for so long. He thought about what his friends had said, how he would never have allowed any of them to carry all that around, so why did he let himself? He thought he figured it out, and he hoped now, he could finally release it all.

"What do you want to do with it?" Carlos asked breaking him from his thoughts

"I don't know" Jay said

"You wanna read it to me, or have me read it?" Carlos asked

Jay just nodded.

"Yes to which?" Carlos joked

"I think you three need to see what I wrote" Jay admitted

Carlos nodded and texted the girls. They were back in the Hall in seconds sitting next to Jay.

Little did they know that Coach and Fairy Godmother were in the room next door. Security called and said there were four teens camped out in the Hall in Villains and wanted to know if he should send them back to school. Fairy Godmother said no that her and Coach both would come over. They didn't want to interrupt whatever makeshift therapy session was going on so they figured they would stay close by. They caught Evie and Mal's attention as they quickly made their way back to the boys. They both nodded and knew that they were there if they needed them.

"Do you want us to read it or do you want to?" Carlos asked

"I will" Jay said coldly

He grabbed his papers and started pacing.

"Jafar, or I guess Dad. My first memory of you is stealing from one of the neighbors. I think it was food and you gave it to me. I started watching everything you did. I started to notice that it was always you who gave me food or something to wear, I depended on you. Mom, she would tuck me in, she let me sleep in a bed. She would pull the thread-bear blanket up and kiss my tiny little head. I can't remember her face or her voice but I know she had long dark hair because it always fell in my face when she would kiss me. I hate that you are the reason she left. I hate that you made her leave, whether or not she wanted me. I had to have learned what it was like to care about someone from somewhere because I wasn't a complete ass to Carlos, Evie and Mal. And you clearly weren't the one who taught me. You blamed me for her leaving, I was a little kid. What could I have possibly done? But you blamed me and made me think it was my fault. Mom left shortly before I started at Dragon Hall. The other kids were dirty and unloved just like me. Then I found people who might actually need me and I clung to them, although I tried to make it seem like I was doing them a favor" Jay said looking up at Jafar

"One time, I think I was around seven. I followed Carlos home. He was funny and smart and small. He sometimes came to school with burns on his hands from cleaning so much. You hadn't fed me in a few days so I went to his house, hoping he had food. Well I was wrong but that's not the point. I came home and you decided that I should have come home right after school. That that was the day you were going to teach me to steal. I think you were drunk or something because you were out of control. I remember going up to my room and my bed, pillow and that thread-bear blanket were gone" Jay said stoping to compose himself

Carlos stood and walked over to Jay and put his arm around his shoulders.

"Take your time" Carlos whispered

"I asked...I asked where they went and you...you said that I didn't deserve them. That I was worthless and it was my fault mom left and worthless people don't need beds" Jay said crying

Evie and Mal's hearts broke and they both stood to hug him.

Jay shrugged them off and started pacing again. "I was around seven the first time you uttered those words. Sure you hadn't been the nicest before that but it was the first time I knew that words could truly hurt you. And you never stopped saying them. Every fucking day for what almost ten years you said the same thing. You're worthless, you're useless, you don't matter" Jay said crouching down

Mal and Evie wanted to go over to him but Carlos held them off. "He's gotta feel it" Carlos said

"That same night I guess I cried about my blanket as I was sitting on the floor under the broken TVs and you walked over and I saw your hand go up... I remember how scared I was, I didn't have anyone to go to or anywhere to go. I still remember saying Daddy please. And then you smacked me hard across the face. It took me a long time to realize that what you started that night wasn't ok, it wasn't normal. I wasn't your own personal fucking punching bag, but that's what you turned me into. I've been scared of you ever since I saw your hand go up. I cried for days because for some twisted reason I expected better from you, I was a little kid. We aren't born inherently bad and I was just the dumb little kid that held out hope that things would be better. You promised that as soon as you found a lamp, everything would be fine. And it never was. You told me I was worthless and then you hit me to prove it. I was only seven, you were my dad. You were the one who wasn't supposed to do that" Jay said crying

He went to walk away but his legs buckled and Evie and Carlos each had a hand under his armpit before he hit the ground.

No one knew what to say, the three of them just held him as he cried, cried for his own pain and the fact that he couldn't stop his dad that night.

"May I?" Carlos asked, knowing Jay needed a break

Jay just let go of the papers and tried to bury himself in his sweatshirt.

"You never apologized, you never brought it up again until the next time you did it. If I asked for more food, if I said I didn't feel good, if I said I was tired, or didn't want to go steal things, if I didn't steal enough, when I saw my friends too much. You found every excuse in the book to fucking hit me. I didn't deserve it but you told me I did, and I believed it" Carlos said, stopping as his voice cracked. Of course they didn't know any better back then but for Jay to still think it broke Carlos's heart

"You don't anymore do you?" Carlos asked Jay

"I told you that you wouldn't like what I was hiding" Jay said ashamed

"You don't deserve to be hit, ever" Evie said

"Jay please, you deserve so much more"

"I didn't know" Carlos said sadly

"See, I told you guys you wouldn't like it" Jay said yelling

"No we don't like seeing you hurt this much but we can take it" Mal said, grabbing his arm

Mal and Evie nodded and Carlos to keep going.

"Off and on for years you would yell at me and blame me for mom leaving but I had nothing to do with it. It was all you. You constantly had me running all over to get a better haul. And it was never good enough. I was never good enough. We lived in the same shack, but you would never have known I was your son. I agave up a long time ago thinking that you would ever love me" Carlos said

"Stop" Jay said

"Ok" Carlos said nodding

"You ok?" Mal asked him

"No" Jay said shaking his head

"It's ok" Carlos said

"You shouldn't have to read it, it's making you sad" Jay said to Carlos

Jay held out his hand, he knew Carlos was fine reading, but hearing it was harder on him so he continued.

"The first time you left a scar was when I was 10, I brought a lamp, I knew you loved those. You weren't excited for long because when you looked at it, it was rusty and broken. You threw it at me and it sliced my arm. I'm pretty sure it was the first time Evie stitched me up. It's barely noticeable now but I still remember how scared I was. You instilled this fear into me, but I was never allowed to show it. You said it was weak and pathetic and stupid. So I became a cocky asshole who pretended to care about nothing and no one. You hurt me fairly often over the years but I guess it all just runs together when you're told you deserve it. The next time I remember you flying into a rage that I had never seen before was when I was thirteen or fourteen. I couldn't do anything right during those years. It's already a hard time and you used it against me. You made fun of the way I sounded when my voice would crack even though I couldn't control it, you called me every name in the book. When I grew quickly and was gangly and awkward you would love when I would trip and break something because then you didn't need a reason to hit me, I broke something, It gave you your reason. I couldn't control my limbs and you used it against me. It was all normal, but I think you were scared that I was getting bigger and would one day hit back. You don't me not to go fucking around the Isle with some whore who I would no doubt knock up and then you wouldn't have anyone to stock your shelves. You told me not to have a worthless brat of my own, that you wished you had never had me. I started staying away more because slowly, it was starting to wear on me. The more I stayed away..." Jay said trailing off and dropping the papers

"The more I stayed away, the slightly better I felt. Mal, Evie, Carlos. They didn't openly hate me, at that point I was bigger than some of the guys in our class and so I knew that they needed me for protection. I didn't know what love was back then, I don't know if they loved me. But they were nicer to me than you ever were. Somewhere around that time we all realized if we stuck together we might be better off. So while we were "friends" before that, I finally had people that wanted me around. After that, I started to feel something for them that I had never felt before. It was your biggest fear. I finally cared about people. And the less I was there for you to push around. You really showed how much you hated my friends after I tried to protect Mal and Evie from the Gastons. They were literally threatening to rape them, two of my best friends and you were pissed when I came home late from school one day" Evie said stopping

"You dad, he?" Evie asked, eyes filling

"Yea" Jay said quietly

"But you still protected us?" Evie said

"Even though you knew what he could do to you?" Mal asked

They both knew what would have happened if he hadn't but hearing that Jay knew what his father would do to him and he still protected them broke their hearts.

"I wouldn't have let that happen to you" Jay said coldly

Mal and Evie hugged him and cried. Cried because he was hurt so they wouldn't be.

"Why did you do it?" Mal asked

"He had heard the rumors about me standing up to them and Gil warned me about his brothers. My dad was going to beat me anyway but you and Evie didn't deserve to be raped. To you have your first times ruined like that. You two both deserved better, no one should ever take advantage of you like that. Even most villains know that. I didn't want you guys getting hurt like that. I didn't know if you would get sick or pregnant. They were literally gonna have to get through me to get to you" Jay said shrugging

"Jay" Mal said gently

"You saved us from that, at your own expense..." Evie said before Jay cut her off

"It's over now, and getting beat was worth protecting you two" Jay said

Evie and Mal were both crying and hugged him tight. Jay hugged them back. He never had planned on telling them how close they both had come to being attacked, but he couldn't hold it in anymore.

"Why didn't you tell me then? I couldn't helped" Carlos said knowing Jay hand't told him till weeks after, when the rumors first started.

"Come on Carlos, you were so small back then. You Mal and Evie were already taller than you. You didn't have a ton of muscle. You likely are younger than us, would anyone really have believed that you were sleeping with them?" Jay asked. He hated the way he used to treat Carlos, but in this case it was the truth.

"I guess not. I know what would have been said" Carlos said

"Being a cocky asshole came in handy then" Jay said

"I'm surprised Gil warned you"

"His brothers beat him up all the time, he heard what they were going to do and let's be honest Gil is too nieve to be a villain. He told me after school, I told the Gastons to back off and they didn't and that's when I had to say I was sleeping with both of them. It's when all the other rumors started."

"When everyone thought you were a manwhore" Mal said putting it all together

"I didn't really care what the fuck anyone else thought. They didn't hurt you guys. It's all that mattered" Jay said

"That's when your fathers aggression increased" Carlos said, things now making sense

"Said that I shouldn't be out having a good time when I couldn't steal well enough. Then asked me if I stole while I fucked" Jay said coldly

"Why didn't you tell us?" Evie asked

"You both didn't need anything else to worry about. Mal would've mouthed off and gotten herself into trouble and I would've had to bail her out and Evie would have been horrified. No reason to make them feel bad" Jay shrugged

"This isn't shrugable Jay. You protected us from getting raped, and took more beatings from your father for it. And then everyone thought you were sleeping with both of us. None of it is true and it clearly hurt, so don't just fucking shrug it off" Mal said sadly

"I did what I had to do, alright!" Jay yelled

"Easy" Carlos said not wanting to work him up further.

"My dad would have hit me regardless, you really wanna sit here and tell me that you would have rather been raped instead of my dad hitting me?" Jay asked angrily

Mal and Evie stayed quiet.

"That's what I thought. So I did what I had to do" Jay said

"So why didn't you tell us this before?" Carlos asked

"I didn't want you to be scared of me the way I was scared of my dad. I figured if you knew how bad he was, you would be scared that I would do the same thing" Jay said, feeling tears rise again

"All you've ever done is protect us, it's time to let that go" Evie said kissing his head

"We could never be scared of you" Mal said hugging him

Jay tensed and tried to shrug Mal off him, but she held tighter.

"What else you hiding from us buddy?" Carlos asked gently

"That's the worst" Jay said "Aside from the night you already know about"

"Want me to keep going?" Carlos asked him

Just didn't say anything so Carlos kept going.

"No I will" Jay said taking the papers from Carlos

"I did the right thing and you treated me like shit, I was bad you treated me like shit so I started to do what I wanted. Even Cruella's beatings weren't as bad as yours. The look of hated on your face towards me is something I'm scared I'll never get over. I'm scared of turning into the monster that you are. That everyone will fear me and hate me. I have plenty of scars from you, mental and physical. The physical ones might have healed but my side will still hurt. I still hurt because of you. You were my father, things were pretty wack on the Isle, but I didn't deserve to be treated that way, or at least that's what I'm told. I don't believe it yet, but God I hope some I can. I'm most scared of becoming you, after you almost killed me and my friends own will saved me, not my own because I was done that night they got me out. I was done with you and the Isle and the way we lived. I was done living and being punished for things that I had never done. I wasn't automatically born a villain, I was there because you were a greedy piece of shit. No wonder mom left you, she probably thought I would turn out like you. I would have left sooner if I could have. You broke me to a point where I didn't want to live. Who would want to make their son feel that way? Who could ever make anyone feel that way. If it wasn't for Evie, Mal and Carlos. I would have died a lot sooner. They've been saving me from the time we were little kids. Because you've been killing me for years. I know I threatened to kill you one night before we left and it scares the shit out of me that if Carlos hadn't come by, I probably would have done it. I would have killed you and felt no remorse. So what kind of twisted screw up does that make me. It makes me no better than you, and so you turned me into something, the thing I feared the most growing up. You turned me into you. You won. The way I've been feeling you won" Jay said shaking. He sobs were coming hard and fast.

Evie and Mal were a little confused, Carlos looked away. Of course he knew more than they did. They just held onto Jay and let him go through what he needed to. Evie was concerned that was where he was leaving it but she saw another paper. She wiped her eyes and picked it up. It was tear stained and shaky but she read it anyway. This clearly wasn't where Jay wanted to end up even if he couldn't continue.

"You would have won if I didn't have Carlos, the best friend a person can have. And Dude, a dog that showed me more love in the first day that I met him than you did my entire life. And Mal, the strongest friend anyone could have, and Evie, the most compassionate and loving person there is. And someone who you will never dare utter her name. She knows where I'm from and she's accepted it, she isn't scared of me. She wants to get to know me. She's truly good and special and she's gives me the slightest bit of hope that maybe I'm not the worthless piece of shit you've convinced me I am" Evie said stopping, overcome by Jay's words

He had his head down, hood up. Mal had a death grip on him incase he tried to bolt. He was leaning against Carlos and Evie was in front of him, holding his hand.

Carlos picked up the papers from Evie and continued or at least hoped he could.

"You've been telling me these things for so long but Evie, Mal and Carlos are still with me. They tell me that they love me and I love them too, or at least I think that I do. They know who I am and what I've been through and they promised they won't leave me. They have stuck by me all these years despite you and they have held me together and seen my worst. I realized here that you didn't win. You didn't fucking win anything. Mom left, and I left. You're left with some shitty shop and no way off the Isle. You didn't win because even if I need my friends to keep telling me it, they are my friends. They will always be my friends. Because of you and their parents we were raised in some kind of hell that didn't care about kids, kids that don't know the difference between right and wrong yet. But because of you guys we formed a family. While it might be weird and not what Auradon is used to, we are a family. Because we love each other and we have each other's backs. You didn't win because I have that and I have them. While I still hear your voice in my head telling me how shitty I am I hear Carlos's asking for help with tourney and Evie's telling me how much I helped her or Mal's telling me that I am better than I know. I have them in spite of you and I'm here because of them. I was half dead inside when we got here and slowly they've helped me see who I am and who I want to be. I like being on a team, and having teammates. I like helping them, I'm working on asking for help myself, because all this time you taught me how weak it is but it's not. It's not and I know it took me awhile to believe it but my friends didn't leave me when I asked for it. I've told them the parts that scare me the most and they are still here. I promise I will never be like you, I never want to be like you. I don't want to keep stealing and having people scared of me. I want to be the me that has fun with my friends, that's good at tourney, that loves people and scares about them. I want to be the person that is ok with emotions and isn't scared that his friends will leave. I want to be the person that my friends see, I don't want to be this tired, weak, worthless life that doesn't deserve to live that you always told me I am. I've been through shit by myself and I don't want to do it alone anymore, I can't. You've broken me for years, you've hurt me and made me think I deserved it. But I deserved so much better from you. You haven't won, because if you did, I wouldn't have a girl that I have feelings for. I wouldn't have friends or teammates here that like me, I wouldn't have Evie, Mal and Carlos. You didn't win dad. You tired, but clearly my friends and I were stronger together, because they saved me from you. You didn't win, and won't let you keep hurting me anymore" Carlos said reading off the paper.

They all had tears running down their faces. It was the most vulnerable Jay has ever been. They fully understood why he was so guarded and why he tried to protect himself so much. Because he was hurt so deep. The four of them sat there, holding onto each other and crying. Jay put his head on Carlos's shoulder and put his hand on the back on his head, he couldn't finish saying it all himself. But when he couldn't his friends were right there to pick him up and he finally understood the magnitude of what he had been holding on it.

Once they all calmed down, Jay pulled out another piece of paper.

"I uh, I wrote this to myself" Jay said fumbling with it

They sat in a circle holding hands and Jay opened his paper

"You shouldn't have been hurt the way you were or starved or neglected but you were. You shouldn't have been hit and you should have had a bed but you didn't. You shouldn't have been treated the way you were but it happened and you can't let it hold you back. You only win, good only trumps evil if don't let your past hold you back. The immeasurable pain and sadness that you've been carrying around is enough to kill anyone. It almost claimed you a few times. But you have the three best friends that anyone could ask for. They need you and you need them. You can't leave, you can't cause them any more pain. Even if you don't think you deserve this life, live it for them because your loss would hurt them too much. If you lost them it would hurt too much. They are the only ones that will really, fully understand what you went through, and even though you pushed them away, they came back. Let them take care of you and let them love you. It won't be easy, it will take time but let them in and let yourself out" Jay said sniffling and wiping his eyes

"You have a family, don't waste that or take it for granted. Don't take for granted the fact your are here, but don't punish yourself for getting off the Isle. Don't let your past hold you or your friends back. You didn't deserve that first hit all those years ago, but it's time to let that go. It's time to no longer be angry. It's too exhausting and sad. Your friends will always be there for you, don't forget that. Admit you were hurt and that you deserved better. Don't let him keep winning, your friends tell you how great you are, maybe you should believe them. Let your past go and admit that you are allowed to love and be loved and you are allowed to have fun. Admit and then do it. You deserve better than your past continuing to hurt you. Allow yourself the love and relationships that you've been scared of all these years. Allow yourself to be happy and then you win" Jay said crying and putting the paper next to him

"I'm so proud of you" Evie said practically jumping into his lap hugging him

He felt himself be surrounded by Mal, Evie and Carlos and for the first time since coming to Auradon he let himself enjoy it. He cried for the scared little kid that deserved better. He cried for the way he had been treating his friends and he cried for the pain that didn't feel quite as heavy as it had when he woke up.

"You are so loved" Mal said hugging him tightly

"You did good" Carlos said

They finished crying and slowly untangled themselves from each other. Jay shakily picked up all the papers and held onto them.

"You know how you all asked me why I let myself hurt this much when I would never have let you guys do it to yourselves?" Jay asked shakily, looking right at them.

"Yea" Evie said quietly, Mal and Carlos nodded

"I thought...I thought that I deserved to carry around that pain. That it didn't matter if I hurt, because I didn't matter" Jay said closing his eyes

"You do matter, Jay. You matter so much" Mal said cupping his cheek

He gently put his hand on hers that was resting on his face.

"No one deserves that pain, buddy. I thought I did too at first when I wouldn't finish my chores but no one deserves to make you feel that way. You were hurt and it's ok to feel hurt, but don't ever think it's because of something you did" Carlos said

"I know that now, or at least I think I do" Jay said

"Like I said you hear something enough times, you start to believe it. I mean Mal thought she had to prove herself to her mom and be the worst she could be, Evie never thought she could be beautiful and smart and Carlos was only told he was too small or not good enough. You guys all believed it too for awhile"

"But you're the one who helped us, you made sure that we knew those things weren't true. Why didn't you do the same for yourself?" Evie asked

"Dunno" Jay said shrugging

"I think you got so good at lying to yourself that you had yourself and us convinced. I mean you were Jay, you were the athletic, good looking ladies man that had more confidence than anyone I knew. You knew you were good looking and you knew you had a nice body and you used it to your advantage and I know that deep down you hated your reputation on the Isle, but I didn't think it affected you this much" Mal said trying to make sense of everything

"You just always acted like nothing could touch you, that you were invincible" Evie said

"Like I said, I figured if you knew how bad off I actually was you wouldn't want me around. No one would be scared of me, no one would take me seriously and if I took the shit from my dad that easily out in the open, I figured it would only put a target on my back and yours" Jay said

"You were basically the cockiest asshole on the Isle, I mean you were essentially Chad to everyone but us. We've always known who you are, you never had to hide from us. So why did it take you so long to tell us here?" Carlos asked

"I was scared of losing you guys. I figured if I kept ignoring it then it would go away or I could hide it like the Isle, but then actual feelings and emotions got in the way. I couldn't just haul off and punch someone. Why do you think I always hit first? Hit or be hit, and I couldn't take getting hit anymore. Here you can't do that, you have to talk things over" Jay said rolling his eyes

"Everything you've done the last few years has been to protect yourself and keep us?" Carlos asked surprised it had been going on this long

Jay just nodded. "Like I said, I was good at hiding it. I knew the risk of showing weakness. I wasn't going to endanger any of us because daddy hit me sometimes and I couldn't take it like a man" Jay said

"Ok stop right there" Mal said sternly

"I get why you hid the part of yourself that scared you, we've all done it. But now, don't you ever make light of the fact that your dad hit you. You weren't supposed to take it as a man when you were seven or sixteen. He should never have hit you"

Jay nodded.

"You still think you deserved it?" Evie said sadly and quietly knowing what Mal was getting at

"Jay we can tell you everyday that you didn't deserve it, but you won't feel better until you finally accept it" Carlos said

"I don't know how. How do you compare me doing the same thing to other people to what my dad did?"

"Because it's how you were raised, you weren't exactly raised knowing to keep your hands off yourself. You were raised hit first and then ask questions. That's not on you" Carlos said

"We all did what we needed to do to survive. We all have stuff we're not proud of doing. But Jay, you know the difference between right and wrong now. Deep down you probably always did and that's why it hurts so much knowing what you used to do. You can't go back and change it, but you can try and be better a little bit each day. You told me to just take it day by day. Everyday you go without stealing or fighting, it's not you forgetting where you came from. It's you choosing the life you want for yourself" Evie said taking his hand

Jay thought about what she said and nodded.

"Does that make sense? We got a do-over here and yea people will always talk shit just to mess with you, I know how much it hurt over hearing Stephan and Tyler in the locker room but Jay six months ago you would and just beaten them up. Sure you didn't handle all that great this way either, but you're not the bullying thief you used to be. You're not a bully, you're not a thief, you're not dirty, useless trash. You're Jay. You're the best friend we could have; you're fiercely protective, you care so much more than you allow yourself to admit. You were hurt and you need time to figure all that out, but Jay you are so much better than the person you think you are" Evie said

Jay blinked a few times and Evie's gentle fingers wiped away his tears.

"I'm not saying to let people walk all over you and take advantage of you. But you can have a balance between being the adorable person that you are and the good athlete. You can be both without all the bad stuff" Evie said

"I don't know who I am or what I want somedays" Jay said frustrated

"That's ok. Because we know who you are even if you can't see it. I'm pretty sure Lonnie knows who you are. You helped me be me again. We'll help you be you again. If you need to scream and cry to get there it's ok" Mal said holding his shoulders

"You need to accept on your own terms that you aren't someone who deserves to constantly be hurt, and once you move past that you'll realize you do deserve good and happiness. Auradon's given us a new start. Don't hold yourself back because you're scared of dealing with your past" Carlos said

Jay nodded

"It is scary to admit these emotions and feelings and knowing what we used to do on the Isle. It's hard to come to terms that we deserve better, but we didn't know any better. And that's ok. It's a question of what we do now that we do know better" Carlos said

Evie and Mal shared a smile. Somewhere along the way, Carlos had finally started to stand up for himself after all the years of Jay doing it for him. Now Carlos was here for him.

"It's gonna take time, sweetie and we're right here with you" Evie said

"I'm glad have the three of you" Jay said

"Yea you are" Carlos said smirking

"I'm gonna be ok, I don't know when. I hope soon but I'll be ok" Jay said

It was the first time Carlos actually believed those words coming out of his best friend's mouth.

"You better be, I'd like to not go grey before I turn 18" Carlos said laughing

"Oh whatever. You've all taken years off my life when I had to bail all your asses out back on the Isle" Jay said giving him a small laugh

"Come on, let's get you back to your room. You look exhausted and I'm starving" Evie said

Jay nodded and picked up his papers.

"Carlos can you hold these, I can't hold on to them right now, but I think I need to" Jay said

"Of course" Carlos said taking the papers

"Thank you guys" Jay said

"We're always here for, no matter what" Mal said

"We would never leave you" Evie said

"I'm glad I wrote it all out" Jay admitted

"It helps right?" Carlos said

"My first draft just said Jafar at the top and the next line said fuck you" Jay said slightly laughing

The other three exchanged glances and saw Jay was starting to laughing. The four of them all started laughing and if anyone saw them now they would think they had gone mental but it was the release they all needed.

Before they knew it Fairy Godmother and Coach were walking in.

"Uh" Jay said stammering

"We can explain" Carlos said, trying to sound calm

None of them really wanted to rehash the entire day, but the adults didn't look thrilled.


	22. Chapter 22

"Don't be mad at them" Jay said stepping forward trying to block the others

He couldn't imagine that two adults showing up while they were at the museum was a good thing. He knew Mal, Evie and Carlos should have went to class. Now they were all going to get in trouble and it was his fault.

Carlos could see the panic on Jay's face and stepped forward.

"We didn't mean to cut class. I emailed you. We just needed to do things our way today" Carlos said

"Jay just because an adult shows up doesn't mean they are mad" Coach said calmly

"You're not mad we cut school?" Jay asked surprised

"I gave you guidelines on how to help yourself but you needed to figure out what worked for you. Of course we aren't mad" Fairy Godmother said

"It wasn't their fault. I needed them today" Jay said

"Dude, she just said they aren't mad" Carlos said putting his hand on Jay's shoulder

Jay let out a breath he didn't know he was holding

"If you're not here to yell at us then why are you here?" Jay asked, still skeptical

"We got a call from security, he said four kids were hanging out and thought they should have been in school. I knew as soon as he said it that it had to be the four of you. Coach and I came over a little bit ago to see how you were doing. But we saw Evie and Mal running back in here we didn't want to interrupt"

"You two knew?" Jay spun around, a little hurt

"We got a text from Carlos saying to come back, we saw them when we ran by. You were so upset, I didn't even think of it" Evie said

"We just wanted to comfort you" Mal said "I forgot they were here"

"How much did you hear?" Jay asked cringing

"We heard enough"

"Don't send them back, if you're mad. Send me" Jay said defeated

"No one is getting sent anywhere" Coach said stepping forward "Son, none of you are in trouble"

"But you heard" Jay said shocked

"Yes, and we also came to apologize. We, of Auradon also failed you kids" Fairy Godmother said

No one said anything so she continued "We didn't exactly treat you like the hurt kids that you were. We treated you like your parents when you first got here. That's on us. We should have known how hard your lives would have been. You guys didn't know any better. We should have stepped in sooner when you came to us about Evie, or when Carlos was being bullied or when Mal went back to the Isle"

"uh you think" Mal scoffed

"We are so sorry that we let you kids fend for yourselves. We clothed you, fed you, housed you, gave you electronics, toiletries and school supplies but we didn't give you any emotional support. That's on us, you four didn't know any better and shouldn't have had to ask"

"You guys didn't know that we weren't actually bad. We didn't exactly try when we got here" Carlos said

"But we're the adults, we should have"

"Don't let it happen to the future kids you bring you" Jay said tightly

He had never had an adult apologize to him and he didn't know what to do.

"We will get your opinions" Fairy Godmother said

Jay nodded.

"What can we do for you, for all of you" Fairy Godmother said

The four all sorta just shrugged.

"I think we start with just talking, we have great professionals. You can go together, but Jay especially needs to go" Fairy Godmother said

"So you're not sending me back because of what I said?" Jay asked clarifying

"No dear of course not. Especially not with what your have been through"

"But you heard everything?" Jay asked again

"Jay, stand down. You don't need to defend any of your actions to us" Coach said

"Thank you" Jay said squeezing his eyes shut

"Jay, dear. You've been hurt time and time again. But the difference between you and your father is that you still have these friends that have your back. You might have threatened but you didn't act on it"

Jay nodded and looked at Carlos.

"You're allowed some grace while you sort through everything. We don't expect you to heal overnight. I have no doubt that you will be able to fully heal with your friends, but you need to give yourself the time"

"She's right, more of your actions make sense now. I'm sorry I never pushed harder to get you to open up" Coach said

"Trusting adults is new for all of us" Mal said

"I know" Fairy Godmother said smiling "I will send you the names of people at school and off campus that we recommend and you four can decide who you would like to see. But you will need to go"

The four agreed and Fairy Godmother walked them back to the boys dorm and told them she would send dinner up since they hadn't eaten all day.

"How you feeling?" Carlos asked Jay

"I think better?" Jay said

"That's all that matters" Evie said handing him a mug of tea

"We just want you to be happy" Mal said

The four were sitting on Jay's bed waiting for their dinner.

"I mean everything I said about you guys" Jay said

"We know, sweetie" Evie said

"You made huge progress today" Carlos said

"Promise us no matter what is going on you will talk to us?" Mal asked

"I do" Jay said nodding

"I hope we all know now how important we are to each other" Carlos said

They all nodded and there was a knock at their door. Carlos rolled off the bed and opened it enough to see who it was. Lonnie. He didn't know if Jay would want to see her or not.

"Hey Carlos, I was checking on Jay. I hadn't heard from him all day" Lonnie said

"We've been with him" Carlos said looking behind him

He saw Evie shake her head no.

"Lonnie, Jay's pretty shaken up. I don't think he's up for visitors. It was a hard day"

"Oh" Lonnie said sadly "Is everything ok?" she asked concerned

"He's gonna be ok, we got him. I'm sure he'll tell you about it when he's ready but tonight's not the night" Carlos said

"Ok" Lonnie said awkwardly

"I tell him to call you tomorrow" Carlos said

"Thanks" Lonnie said walking down the hallway

She turned around when she heard the door open. Jay quickly jogged up to her. He didn't say anything but he came up and hugged her.

Lonnie was startled but she hugged him back tightly.

"I'm not ok tonight, and I know that it's ok. But I will be ok. I just, I'm not ready to talk about it yet. Please know it's nothing you did" Jay said hugging her

"I just wanted to make sure you're ok. All four of you were missing today, so I figured something was up"

"It was long day. I, I had a lot of emotions" Jay said turning red "And we needed to deal with it. I needed...I needed them to help me deal with it"

"It's ok" Lonnie said sweetly, putting her hand on his cheek

"I don't think I can film your last video tomorrow. I don't think I'm up for it" Jay said sadly

"It's ok, you take care of you. Aziz can do it. Put yourself first for once, Jay. Just know I'm always here" Lonnie said

"Thank you" Jay said hugging her again

"You guys need anything?" Lonnie asked

"Fairy Godmother is sending food up. Thank you though" Jay said hugging her

"Get some sleep ok. Let me know if you need anything"

"Good luck filming" Jay said

"See you Monday?" Lonnie asked

"Yea, I'll be back in class" Jay said

Jay felt a little better after seeing Lonnie. She had a way about her that just calmed him and he really liked it.

When Jay turned around back to his room he saw Carlos leaning against the door frame, arms crossed, smirking.

"Jay and Lonnie sitting in a tree. K I S S..." Carlos was teasing as Jay walked down the hallway.

Jay didn't say anything he just pushed Carlos off the door jam and walked back into their room, slightly smirking as Carlos caught himself on the wall. He stopped teasing Jay and just shut the door behind them.

"Yea I deserved that" Carlos said laughing

"I might be emotionally broken but I can still take you" Jay said

"There's the cocky asshole I share my room with" Carlos said smirking

Jay just smirked and rolled his eyes as he walked back into their room.

"C I'm stealing a red gatorade" Jay said opening their mini-fridge

"How many times do I have to tell you it's not stealing if you tell me" Carlos said

"Boys" Mal chided

"So what are we doing tonight?" Evie asked

"You wanna fill us in on Carlos bailing your ass out?" Mal asked wanting the rest of that story

"Mal" Carlos yelled at her

"Yea, don't really want to talk about that tonight" Jay said

"That's fine" Evie said and giving Mal a look

"I just meant it's better than him holding that in" Mal said

"I'll wait till we're all together with whoever we have to talk to. That's not a night I plan on discussing more than once" Jay said

Frankly, Carlos didn't want to either.

"And that's fine" Evie said

"Ok" Mal said

"Why don't we just call it an early night. This guy turns into a nerd at midnight so he better get some sleep" Carlos said

"Thanks" Jay deadpanned

"We all have a lot of homework this week" Evie said

Fairy Godmother brought them dinner and Mal and Evie went back to their rooms. Carlos and Jay were getting ready for bed when Carlos plopped a packet of papers onto Jay's chest.

"What the?" Jay asked looking up from his tourney magazine.

He scanned in and realized Carlos had fully expanded on the homework plan.

"Did you schedule me time to pee in this thing?" Jay asked

"Yes, You can take Dude out and you can go together" Carlos said smirking

"Uh, no thank you" Dude pipped up from his bed "I have a shy bladder"

"That makes two of us" Jay said, eyes going wide looking at the schedule.

Carlos was laughing, but Jay hadn't joined him so he started to explain. "I have it all worked out for each assignment. Jane is great at organizing things and she really helped me with it. You have some nights free, there's time for the gym in there. I mean you don't have to stick to it exactly but it should guide you pretty well"

"Thanks C" Jay said scanning it over. He was touched that him and Jane went to all that trouble for him.

"Jane said if you need any tutoring just to let her know" Carlos said

"Thank you" Jay said grabbing his phone.

He texted Lonnie goodnight and give her a few reminders for tomorrows video session even though he knew she didn't need them. And then he texted Jane, thanking her for the study plan.

"Just wake me up if you have any nightmares ok?" Carlos said walking over to his bed.

"Wait Carlos" Jay said

"Yea" Carlos said walking back over to Jay's bed.

"I'm sorry I wasn't always the best back on the Isle, or even here" Jay said

"What do you mean?" Carlos asked sitting down

"Yea I might have protected you from bullies but I made fun of you too" Jay said sadly

"We're brothers, it's what we do" Carlos said slightly confused

"You were smart, you were so smart even back then. And I was scared that when people started to realize how smart you were they would be less likely to mess with you and that you wouldn't need me anymore. So I was sometimes mean to you because it was my own way of insuring that you wouldn't get the confidence to ditch me" Jay said

"Bro come on, you were a lot easier on me than everyone at school" Carlos said

"Yea but it came up today about how Mal and Evie would never have slept with you and you were too small to protect them. I was doing it all over again" Jay said

"It's ok, you're probably right. They are out of my league. Out of yours too" Carlos quipped

Jay gave him a small smile.

"I was small. I mean maybe we can look into figuring out how old we really are. I mean your voice cracked what like two years before mine. We're both still growing so likely not yet 18. I'm more the same size as the freshman class. You look more like the juniors or seniors. I don't care though. It doesn't matter to me" Carlos said

Jay shrugged, knowing Carlos was right and that there had to be at least a year between them.

"Jay for some reason you making fun of me never hurt as much as the kids doing it. I know you had to keep your image up and yea it protected me from a lot of the kids at school. But it's fine now"

"I just needed to tell you I'm sorry" Jay said

"Thank you" Carlos said sincerely

"I was jealous of how smart you were, I still am"

"It's ok. Just know you are capable of it too" Carlos said

"You turned out to not be a half-bad friend" Jay said

"Half-bad?" Carlos asked laughing

"You're a pretty solid little brother" Jay said smirking

"You do ok in the big brother department too" Carlos said slapping his leg as he got up

"Just keep talking to me, ok?" Carlos said

"Yea" Jay said nodding

"I meant it Jay, the other night. When you were missing. I was scared" Carlos said, feeling a voice catch in his throat.

"I'm sorry. I didn't mean for you to jump to conclusions" Jay said

"Jay I need to talk about this" Carlos said pacing

"Ok..." Jay said a little concerned

"I thought you bagged and went back to the Isle, that was best case scenario in my head that night. The other thought was that it was all too much, and you clearly were hurting more than we knew and that you either hurt yourself or decided that you had enough. I can't..."Carlos said trailing off

"Carlos" Jay said gently, getting off his bed

Carlos composed himself as Jay walked over to him, concern written all over his face.

"I couldn't even fathom how you were hurting that much and none of us knew how bad it was. I know what you on the Isle before, I want to know deep down that you wouldn't do anything to hurt Jesus Christ Jay, you scared the shit out of me. You were so out of it under the bleachers. I know I told you part of how I felt but dammit Jay, if you had...hurt yourself, I don't know what I would have done" Carlos said swallowing his emotions

"I'm sorry" Jay said quietly, knowing Carlos needed to talk about this even though he didn't want to

"I know things are bad for you right now, and we've been telling you for years it would get better but you're fighting the same demons, but Jay please don't use a permanent solution to a temporary problem" Carlos said, voice shaky

Jay nodded, not able to get any words out.

"I thought about it that night, sitting under those bleachers. Everything my dad had done and said to me over the years, I didn't think it would matter what happened to me. But I didn't know how to do it or where and the thought of it made me want to throw up so I figured it wasn't the right idea. Then Dude found me and that's when I just started crying and I couldn't stop. I couldn't move, or talk or anything. I didn't mean to shut you out that night" Jay said

Carlos nodded.

"The one thing I kept thinking about was if you or Mal or Evie were gone, how much pain I would be in. And somewhere I knew you guys cared about me and I didn't want to cause you that pain. I know what it's life to be left, it sucks and it hurts, but it was probably the driving force in me not trying anything" Jay admitted blinking back his tears

"I can't imagine how much pain not having you in my life would cause" Carlos admitted

"I'm sorry I scared you guys" Jay said looking up at the ceiling

"I've had this crushing pain in my chest since I found you. I really thought...I thought, I know Evie did when she found us. I, we both thought that you were dead. There was no life left in your eyes. You weren't you" Carlos said feeling a tear escape. He dared to look at Jay who had his own tears.

"I didn't mean too" Jay said sadly

"I know, but that's why I'm telling you. So next time you ever think that, you know it's not true. You know that we will always be here for you. That we can deal with anything as long as we have each other" Carlos said

"Thank you for finding me" Jay said, stepping forward to hug Carlos

"I'm sorry, I just needed you to know how much it would hurt and affect us if you hurt yourself. I keep thinking that you're gonna go off and do something stupid and I needed to tell you not to. Even though you don't ever really listen to me" Carlos said rambling

"You done?" Jay asked wiping his eyes and crossing his arms in front of him

"Yea, I just couldn't keep it in" Carlos said

"Think we can put this behind us?" Jay asked

"I don't see why not" Carlos said

"I'm gonna be better, I promise"

"If you attack it the same way you do tourney, I don't see how you won't get through it" Carlos said

Jay just nodded, knowing what Carlos said was true. He was driven, while it had been for stealing and then sports, he could use that same drive for letting himself heal and for school. All to get back to playing tourney. And he liked that plan.

"Even if you don't think we will like what you're gonna say, tell us anyway" Carlos said

"I will" Jay said

"You know I'm always here for you too right?" Jay asked

"I know. Now we need to get some sleep, I'm tired" Carlos said smiling

"Night C"

"I'm not kissing you goodnight. You gotta call Lonnie for that" Carlos said smirking getting into his own bed

Jay just laughed and rolled his eyes as Carlos shut their lamp off

"We're all taking bets on when you two will actually go on a date, so like just give me a heads up so I win" Carlos said laughing

He didn't hear anything from and Jay, and was sorta surprised but before he could say anything else. He was hit with a pillow.

He heard Jay laughing, even though it was dark and couldn't see him.

"How do you not miss in the dark? But yet you somehow miss the toilet with the light on" Carlos said

"Dude, you're sounding like Evie, not a good look on you" Jay said laughing

"Go to sleep, your brain is actually gonna have to learn things tomorrow" Carlos said laughing with him

"Night Carlos"

"Night Jay" Carlos said cuddling Dude

* * *

Sorry it's short, this week is busy with school. Let me know if you want me to have him show Lonnie what he wrote out sooner or wait a little bit! Don't forget to review!


	23. Chapter 23

Jay and Carlos woke up to their alarms and banging on their door.

"What the?" Jay said sitting up, brushing his hair out of his face

"Make it stop" Carlos groaned and Dude barked.

The next thing they knew through their sleepy eyes were two blobs of purple and blue going about their room.

"Morning" Evie said sweetly

"Go away" Jay said tossing a pillow at her

"Get up boys" Mal said opening the blinds

"Don't be a dragon" Carlos said pulling his blanket over his head

"We're gonna help you get Jay all set up" Evie said clearing off the big round table in their room

"Too early, brain won't work" Jay grumbled

"The earlier you start, the better off you are" Mal said

"Give me back the key" Carlos said reaching his hand out of the blanket, but never climbing out from it

Mal and Evie laughed and once they were satisfied with the curtains and windows open they each moved to a bed.

"Jay, sweetie. Get your butt out of this bed" Evie said stroking his head

"Come on C, rise and shine" Mal said

"Why are you two up so dang early?" Carlos said trying to push Mal off his bed

"It's a little after eight. Yea it's early, but we all have a lot of work to do today" Evie said

"Carlos, we brought hot chocolate and chocolate muffins" Mal said teasingly

Carlos lowered the blanket so now it was tucked around his neck.

"Gimme" He said rubbing his eyes

"Gotta get up and dressed first" Mal said smiling

Carlos grumbled about and Mal was convinced he cursed her out but she went and made a plate for him anyway.

Evie tried a gentler approach with Jay, figuring he was still out of sorts.

"Come on, Mal and I will even give you a head massage if you get up now. We brought breakfast. There's fruit, muffins, donuts and I brought you the protein smoothie with what you call the fancy fruit" Evie said rubbing his back, or at least she thought it was his back. He had curled in on himself after he chucked his pillow at Mal, and pulled his blanket over his head.

"Too tired, emotions are tiring" Jay said, muffled.

"You'll feel better after you eat. You didn't eat a whole lot yesterday" Evie said

" s'gonna go for a run" Jay said still not fully awake

"I think you're better off getting started on your work first and then taking a break. I know you. You'll go for a run, come back and shower and do everything you can to not do work" Evie said

"'motions make me tired" Jay said

"Don't make me tickle you" Evie said sternly

"Noooo" Jay whined

"Get your ass out of bed" Evie said

Jay was trying to figure out what he wanted to do when the next thing he knew Evie was tickling him.

Evie just went for the whole bundle of blankets since she wasn't entirely sure where he was. He started moving around and laughing and before she knew it, he had her pinned to the bed.

"Yea you don't win this game" Jay said smirking overtop her

"At least your up" Evie said

Jay sat up on his bed, and rubbed his eyes and ran a hand through his hair. He held out a hand for Evie to sit up and she sat next to him.

"How'd you sleep?" She asked seriously

"I think ok. I just don't ever remember being this tired" Jay said as he shivered.

"You wouldn't be so cold if you slept with a shirt on" Evie said poking his chest

"Don't like to" Jay shoving her hand away

"Come on, we have breakfast" Evie said getting up

"Give me a second" Jay said rubbing the rest of the sleep out of his eyes

"Jay, out of bed now" Evie demanded, arms folded now standing in front of him

"I said give me a second" Jay said frustrated

"Jay"

"Evie for the love of God go over to the table. I'm up" Jay said, starting to turn red

Evie saw the way Jay was starting to blush and and she turned red, getting what he meant and went over to the table to distract Mal. She tossed him the sweatpants that were at the foot of his bed.

"Thank you" He mouthed as she turned back to the table

"Carlos, I have to pee" Jay said knocking on the bathroom door

"Ugh yea so did I" Carlos said walking out

"These two are going to kill us" Jay said rolling his eyes

"One of these days they will learn they can't just barge the fuck in here" Carlos said

Jay went into the bathroom and closed the door. After he was finished he went and sat at the table and happily drank his protein smoothie.

"You dreaming about Lonnie when we came in?" Mal asked smirking

"Fuck off Mal" Jay said, turning red

He gave Evie a death glare but she just shook her head.

"Just like Carlos was dreaming about Jane"

"No I wasn't" Carlos said stammering

"Yea no, they aren't allowed in during the morning anymore" Jay said folding his arms

"We share a room with you guy half the time" Mal said

"Not the point" Carlos said

"Can't two people calmly wake up in the morning. Carlos and I don't communicate in more than grunts and throwing stuff at each other for at least a half hour" Jay said

"What?" Evie asked laughing

"When it's just you guys do you seriously wake up and immediately start talking and braiding each other's hair?" Jay asked

"I mean we start talking when we wake up" Evie said

"Us, it's Jay shut your alarm off and he makes some kind of primal noise and chucks his pillow at me. Or it's him telling me to make my alarm shut up and I bang my nightstand until it does. Then we get up and get dressed and then we decide to go down for breakfast. And we pretty much don't speak most of the time until we're dressed" Carlos said

"So boring" Mal said

"So much more peaceful" Jay said moving onto the hot chocolate

They finished their breakfast and Jay and Carlos both got ready. When Jay walked out of the bathroom all of his work was spread out and organized.

"Carlos said something about you not wanting to go to the library so we set everything up here that you'd need" Evie said

"Thanks" Jay said relaxing a little

"Carlos are you good to stay here and study? If you need to go to the library or anything one of us will come and study in here" Mal said

"We should be good" Carlos said

"I don't need to be babysat" Jay said

"It's us making sure that you're doing what your supposed to and that you aren't freaking out about it" Evie said putting her hands on his shoulders

"Uh I was promised a head massage" Jay said looking up at her

"Do some work, we will bring you guys lunch and give you one then" Evie said

"Huh?" Jay asked, wanting it now

"You looked at the title of your textbook, your brain can't possibly already hurt" Mal said

"Well it does" Jay said sticking his tongue out

"We will be back to make sure you have killed Carlos with your text books" Mal said

"Have fun" Evie said sweetly

"Were they always this demanding?" Jay asked once the girls left

"Uh yea" Carlos said laughing

"Don't let them stress you out. Just follow the plan and you'll be good. Make notes of what questions you have and if you are struggling, tag it and come back to it later" Carlos said calmly

"Thanks" Jay said opening his books

Jay and Carlos had been working quietly for a while when Jay started talking to himself. After the third pencil he broke, Carlos figured it was time to step in.

"Um what did that pencil do you this time?" Carlos asked, trying not to laugh

Jay glared at him.

"Ok, not funny" Carlos said still laughing

"It's this freaking math packet. My teacher said that if I do well enough on it he won't count all the missed homeworks against me" Jay said

"And it's the pencils fault how?" Carlos asked

"It got the answer wrong" Jay deadpanned

"Sure it did" Carlos said smirking

They had to take some tests when they first came and Jay had scored the lowest in Math, Carlos scored the highest and was placed in the advance junior class whereas Jay was put into basic algebra with the freshman. It was his only class without any of his friends, new or old. Some of his freshman teammates were in it but he felt weird asking them for help.

"Dude, math is my thing" Carlos said matter of factly

"Uh yea, thanks for rubbing it in" Jay said

"No I meant why don't you work on something else and I when I finish this paper we will start at the beginning of your textbook and packet and I will teach it to you. We also will go to the library for it and use one of the bigger boards. I think color coding the formulas will help you remember them"

"So they already put the alphabet into math and now you wanna add the fucking color wheel?" Jay asked exasperated

"Oh come on you're not that dumb" Carlos said laughing "I'm not adding colors to math. I mean so you can see the steps written out. Why do you think you picked up tourney so quick. It wasn't from reading the rule book and play book, you watched the team and film. You learn better by seeing" Carlos said

"How do you know how I learn?"

"Because I'm your best friend" Carlos said

"Well it's weird"

"We also learned about how people learn in my psych class" Carlos said

"Why are you in all the smarter classes than me" Jay said getting annoyed again

"Dude chill. You gave no fucks about school when we got here, it's fine" Carlos said

"You did" Jay said

"Yea cause I was good at it on the Isle, I could fight sure, but I was getting overpowered until I started to grow. I had make myself useful for something too" Carlos admitted

"Carlos, I'm sorry. I didn't think" Jay said realizing that for the millionth time he didn't actually have to explain things to Carlos, Carlos grew up the same way he did

"Come on, switch to something else and we'll do math later" Carlos said

"Thanks" Jay said grabbing his English textbook

The guys kept working and shortly after Mal and Evie came back with lunch.

"How, how's it going? Jay chuck his textbooks at Carlos yet?" Mal asked walking in

"So funny" Carlos said sarcastically

"How are you making out?" Evie asked setting sandwiches on the table

"Better after Jay broke a few pencils" Carlos said trying not to laugh

"Aww wittle Jay scared of some pencils?" Mal asked

"I hate all of you" Jay said grabbing the sandwich with his name on it

"You get a lot done?" Evie asked

"Yea Carlos said he'd help me with math latter so I started on some other work" Jay said shrugging

"How's your homework going?" Carlos asked them

"Not bad, I'm going to miss chemistry when it's over, I love it. I hope by senior year I can take the advanced chemistry class" Evie said happily

"A year ago I never thought the words love and chemistry would ever come out of any of our mouths" Jay said laughing

"Me either" Evie said laughing "My mother would not be pleased"

"But her opinion doesn't matter anymore" Mal said

"We all know in like ten years you're gonna have some giant fashion empire thing" Carlos said

"As long as I have you guys right there with me" Evie said smiling

"Ew, mushy much?" Jay asked just rolling his eyes

"We know you and Evie's 4 Hearts are gonna take over" Mal said hugging her

"And we will be with you the whole time you do it" Carlos said

Evie squealed and looked at Jay.

"I mean you are gonna want a famous tourney player to model your stuff" Jay said cockily

Evie just threw a napkin at him and laughed.

It was weird, they could talk about what they hoped to do and their dreams and wishes. Before they talked about just trying to get off the Isle or not get killed or starved to death. The magnitude in the shift of their conversations wasn't lost on any of them. They have futures and hopes and dreams. But Evie was right, none of it mattered if they didn't have each other.

* * *

It was Monday morning and Jay and Carlos were getting ready for class. Jay had done a decent amount of homework over the weekend and he felt slightly better than he had a week ago, about everything. He was scheduled to go talk to someone tomorrow since they had an early dismissal and between that and going back to class he was nervous. Rumors had started and Jay was concerned going back to class. Obviously people had witnessed his little act at practice and being out of class after that, well rumors were swirling.

"Jay, you good?" Carlos asked him as he was packing his backpack. Jay had sat on his bed after getting dressed and hadn't moved since.

"Yea" Jay said, staring off into space

"Yup, seems it" Carlos said walking over to him

"Come on man, what's going on?" Carlos prodded

"Nothing" Jay said

"Jay" Carlos said

"I'm kinda nervous ok" Jay said annoyed

"You're gonna be fine" Carlos said

"You don't know that" Jay said

"Ok and if you need to get out of class fake a stomachache or headache or something and text one of us to come get you" Carlos said

"What if the teachers want to talk about it after class"

"You'll be fine, I thought everything was explained to them?" Carlos asked

"It was, but some didn't like me more than others"

"I think you'll be ok, you have Fairy Godmother on your side, that's the most important thing" Carlos said

"I guess..." Jay said

"Come on, dig deep and find your cocky assholeishness again" Carlos said

Jay just looked at him.

"The sooner you put off going to class again, the harder it'll be" Carlos said seriously

"I know that, I know I need to do all this shit to be normal again but I'm still fucking scared of screwing it all up" Jay said

"You going to class is a good thing, Jay"

"I know. I just never went to class really caring before" Jay said

"You'll be fine" Carlos said

"If you say so"

"Hey you make it through today without any problems, we get ice cream for dinner ok?" Carlos said

"Dammit I had that you know how to bribe me" Jay said finally standing up

The boys were walking out of the dining hall after breakfast when they walked into Chad, literally right into him.

"Watch it!" Jay said balancing Carlos

He put a hand out to help the other guy when he realized it was Chad.

"Chad if you weren't always talking selfies you would be able to see where you're walking" Carlos said

"You two need to watch" Chad said looking around, realizing he was going in the out door.

"Yea" Jay said smugly

"Where have you been for the last week, anyway?" He asked Jay

"I uh was sick, stomach, cold thing" Jay said stuttering a little

"You don't look sick" Chad said

"Well yea, I'm better now" Jay said annoyed, looking at Carlos

"He's good now, Fairy Godmother got him some help" Carlos said, it wasn't exactly a lie

"Well keep your gross germs to yourself" Chad said stepping back, grossed out

"Will do" Jay said brushing past him

"Ignore him" Carlos said putting a hand on Jay's shoulder.

Jay went through his classes, and it wasn't as bad as he was expecting. Everyone kinda wondered where he had been, his teammates asking if he was ok but for the most part it was ok.

"Ice cream time?" Jay asked once Carlos had fed Dude.

"Yea, come on" Carlos said laughing

"Should we grab the girls?" Jay asked

"Yea" Carlos said

The four of them walked to Crown Jewels for their ice cream and placed their order.

Carlos went with the double chocolate peanut butter, Evie went with cotton candy, Mal went with purple unicorn and Jay went with chocolate peanut butter and waffles.

"So good" Jay said taking a bite

"This was a good idea" Mal said eating hers

"All the food groups, right?" Carlos asked

"I think we all needed it tonight" Evie said laughing

"I can't wait to be done school for the summer" Mal said

"Yea, so hard going to all those fancy dinners" Carlos said laughing

"Ben and I still have to turn in our work too" Mal said defensively

"We know" Evie said laughing, ever the peace keeper

"It's pretty great that they are trusting us to be camp counselors" Carlos said

"I guess they figure we know what the kids will do before they do it" Jay said laughing

"Did you all get your placements yet?" Mal asked

Unlike the other three she had royal duties to learn and would not be able to work that summer.

"I'm in the fashion and art camp" Evie said happily

"Sports all the way" Jay said

"Science and math camp but also sports camp. For some reason math camp doesn't run every week" Carlos said

"Wonder why" Jay quipped

"Maybe you should go too" Carlos said

"Well that's just mean" Jay said

"Boys" Evie said

They all started laughing and went back to their ice cream.

"Are you guys nervous for tomorrow?" Jay asked nervously

"A little" Evie said

"Me too" Mal added

"Yea" Carlos said nodding

"Are you?" Evie asked

"Yea" Jay said quietly "What if she judges us or hates us"

"I don't think Fairy Godmother would have recommended her if she didn't think she was good" Carlos said

"We'll be ok" Mal said

"I guess so" Jay said unsure

* * *

"Ben you didn't have to give us the limo to use" Mal said as they stood in front of school

"You sure you don't want me to come?" Ben asked

"Yes, I'm positive" Mal said kissing him

Jay and Carlos made kissy noises and gagging noises and Mal shot them a look with green eyes.

"Come on, we can't be late" Evie said

"Good luck guys" Ben said

"Thanks" Carlos said getting into the limo

"Thanks Ben" Jay said clapping him on the shoulder and getting in

"You make sure the boys favorite candy is in there?" Evie asked

"Of course, along with blue raspberry candy sticks" Ben said smiling

"Thank you" Evie said happily getting into the car

"Thank you for this" Mal said "For being so supportive while we work though this" Mal said

"Of course, I just wish you guys came to me sooner" Ben said

"I know" Mal said hugging him

"Text me when you're back?" Ben asked

"Of course" Mal said

* * *

"Anyone else suddenly feel sick?" Jay asked as they pulled up to the hospital and offices

"Well maybe you shouldn't have shoved your face with candy" Mal said

"What do you know" Jay said folding his arms

"Everything will be fine" Evie said

"I hope so" Jay mumbled

They walked to the office on the paper from Fairy Godmother and checked in at the desk, the receptionist told them to have a seat.

A few moments later a women walked over to them. They all sized up her. She didn't have pink on, a win in Mal's books, Evie noticed she was dressed nicely, Carlos and Jay both thought she was pretty, but didn't seem overly prissy. Jay saw a tattoo on her wrist in roman numerals and thought maybe she wouldn't be as stuffy as they all had thought.

"Hi I'm Jackie, follow me guys" She said sweetly

The four of them looked at each other and followed. Once in her office she told them all to have a seat and brought them each some water and put a bowl on candy on the table.

"Go head, eat as much as you'd like" Jackie said

They all nodded and grabbed a piece of candy. They each saw that the others hands were as shaky as their own.

"Now, Fairy Godmother gave me a brief rundown but why don't you go over your names again" Jackie said, unwrapping her own candy

No one said anything so she nodded and put her notebook down.

"Anything you guys share in here in protected under patient confidentiality. I can't share it with anyone else unless you pose a serious threat to yourself or someone else and even then it's a fine line. I promise you guys can all trust me. I'm sure it's not easy to trust people" Jackie said looking them directly in the eye

Her blunt honesty and lack of bullshitting quite frankly threw them all off. They were expecting the now talk about your feelings and cry speech, not anyone to be honest with them.

"Why don't I tell you a little about myself" Jackie said

They nodded and she continued.

"I love to travel, as you can see by the pictures on the walls. They were taken either by myself, husband or brother. Well adopted brother, but I don't like labels like that" Jackie said waiting for their reactions that she was adopted.

"I was adopted when I was almost thirteen. Do you guys know what child services is?"

"No" Carlos said shaking his head

"It's when parents can no longer care for their children, or they are putting their child at risk. The kids are taken to hopefully give them a better life"

"What happened to your parents" Mal asked bluntly

"I like the directness, Mal right?" Jackie asked

Mal nodded.

"Not everyone that lives in the United States of Auradon, or Auradon proper was born with a silver spoon in their mouth. My parents, while not villains, certainly were not law abiding citizens. I was put into the custody of my grandmother until I was ten. She then became to sick to care for me and so I went into the system, or foster care as it's called. I was placed from house to house. Some better than others. And most of the time when you're older you have a much harder time getting adopted. Everyone wants the little kids. No one wants the older kids, because they come with their own set of problems, mostly they've been hurt. Physically or mentally" Jackie said pausing for the kids to process.

"Were you?" Jay asked shakily

He hadn't planned on sharing anything, let alone talking. But for some reason, this lady was giving him some vibe that she might not totally bullshit them and she might get it. And he wanted to know.

"A little bit of both before I went to live with my grandmother. Thankfully none in foster care"

"I'm sorry" Jay said quietly

"I hear we have that in common" Jackie said tentatively, not wanting to scare him

"Yea" Jay said looking down

"So I was on my eighth foster home in two years and I didn't think I needed anyone for anything. I had been taking care of my grandmother and myself long before that but the state clearly didn't agree. I was sent to my last foster home a few months after I turned twelve. They were a slightly older couple. Their youngest son was a sophomore at Auradon Prep. They were strict but loving, never threatened to send me back, none of it. I was still acting out and they tolerated it to a point, they knew it was a coping mechanism but they also let me know that breaking the rules was unacceptable. I actually really started to like them and their three sons. I was treated wonderfully, they regularly took me to see my grandmother. Then she passed away shortly before I turned thirteen, they paid for the funeral. They gave me the space to grieve but also helped me though it. About a week after her funeral they asked me if I would like to become a permanent member of their family. I think I yelled and screamed that they weren't my family and they dropped it. Then I got made fun of at school, I was at Auradon Prep Middle and my now brother and I would walk home together, they lived in the big house at the top of the hill so we didn't live on campus. He saw me being bullied, and he stood up for me. He called me his sister and his family and I realized that I wasn't a burden to them, that they truly loved me. I cried the whole way home and then took out the court documents and said that I wanted to be adopted. And that's the date on my wrist. I'm still very close with all of them. My husband, baby girl and I live down the street from them and while it's not the normal way to do things here, it made me stronger and better. I became a child psychologist to help other kids, I one that really helped me be less angry and allow myself to be a kid again and that's my hope for the four of you" Jackie said

She studied the four of them and realized they were all listening intently, she knew they weren't going to trust easily, but she wanted them to know that while her life was different, she could still understand and they would never be judged for it.

"So now I want to hear about the four of you. Anything you want. It's all confidential. I have the rest of the day blocked off, if we're still here at dinner I'll order us some pizzas. I know you guys might not trust me right now, but I hope that overtime you will me a chance to get to know you all. We can take things as slow as you all want, together, separately. Whatever you all are comfortable with" Jackie said

"Where do we start?" Evie asked nervously

"Why don't you all tell me your names" Jackie said smiling

They went in a circle, Carlos starting.

"Carlos"

"Jay"

"Evie"

"Mal"

"Well it's very nice to meet all of you" Jackie said

* * *

I hope you all liked this chapter! Don't forget to review, I've been really stressed with school and they are super motivating!


	24. Chapter 24

"So what do we talk about?" Carlos asked

"Anything you all want" Jackie said

She waited for one of them to talk but when no one did she prodded.

"Why don't you tell me something you miss about the Isle and something you like about Auradon" Jackie said

"I think you're the first person to ask us if we miss anything about home" Mal said

"As bad as it was, it's who we are, where we came from" Evie said

"That's totally normal. You guys were moved to a brand new Island, very different from how you grew up. It was your home, of course there will be things you'll miss"

That seemed to ease them all a little and Carlos started.

"I think I just miss the freedom, go to school, don't go to school. I mean I usually read books the days I didn't go but we didn't have rules and stuff. We spent most of our time avoiding our parents. And something I like about Auradon is chocolate and Dude and Jane's hugs" Carlos said blushing

"There's not much I miss, being hungry, hurting people, getting hurt. I do miss not knowing what emotions were and just being expected to protect my friends. I miss that, I was good at protecting them. Sometimes I do miss stealing too every once in a while. And about Auradon, I like have a team to support and that supports me, sure winning MVP is great and all but I like going out for pizza after and just hanging out with my teammates and playing video games. And definitely splitting pancakes and waffles with Lonnie"

"I miss Dizzy, she was like a little sister to me. I'm trying to bring her over. I think I miss making all of our clothes and accessories from whatever I could find, or what Jay stole. But I like that here I'm not just a pretty face. I can be smart and talented and like chemistry and I love running Evie's 4 Hearts. It's my fashion line, Doug he helps me with the business side of it but I just love designing clothes and here there's no limits to fabrics and materials, but sometime's I miss the challenge" Evie said

"I freaked out around Cotillion about being a Lady of the Court and not knowing who I was. I think I miss that the most. On the Isle, I was bad, I was the daughter of the most evil. Even if it wasn't an identity I truly wanted, I at least knew who I was. Kinda like Jay, the emotions and feelings that came along with being here were hard. But Ben makes me so happy and he knows who I am, even when I don't. And he lets me be me. I like just getting to spend time with my friends" Mal said

"It seems like you all have a pretty good grasp on things here now" Jackie said

"Some days more than others" Carlos said

"Can I ask you all something?" Jackie asked

The four nodded.

"Why did you wait to long to ask for help? Did you even really ask for help?" She asked

They all got a little uncomfortable, not wanting to divulge too much too soon.

"Um, Jay got me help a little after we got here. I had an eating disorder and the notion that I needed to be pretty for anyone to like me. I've met with the nutritionist almost weekly at school. I have my moments but for the most part, I've done well" Evie said

"After Cotillion and Uma and everything Ben said I needed to talk to someone, so I talked to Queen Belle, his mom. There were things I kept from her but for the most part it really helped me sort out what I wanted and who I was" Mal said

"The list of adults we trust is very small, the list of people we trusted in Auradon was just as small. At least for me, until recently, I never really felt like I was fully accepted. It's hard to talk about the things that hurt you when you don't know who you can trust. I talked to Dude, my dog. And that was one of my biggest fears, and talking to him and basically having him live in my dorm room helped me realize that what my mother said and did was wrong. Dude isn't a rabid pack animal. No matter what I told him, as long as I fed him. He showed me love" Carlos said

Jay turned to Carlos before talking "The first time I knew you were going to be ok was when we got the "special treat" of video chatting our parents and you not only stuck up for Dude but you stuck up for yourself too, against your mom. That was huge for you" Jay said proudly

"I knew she could't hurt me. Then you put your hand on my shoulder and I knew you had my back" Carlos said

"Always" Jay said nodding

"What about you Jay?" Jackie asked

"That's kinda a loaded question" Jay said getting nervous

"How so?"

"What you want me to lay on this couch and and talk about all my daddy issues so everyone can realize Chad and Stephan and Tyler and my father are right? That I'm a worthless thief that enjoys hurting people?" Jay asked getting agitated

Evie, Mal and Carlos all looked at each other concerned, not sure where this was coming form.

"You can lay or sit, stand on your head. I don't really care. What I do care about is what made you think all of that" Jackie said calmly

"Jay stop fighting it" Mal said

"If I talk about the night Carlos found me I will get sent back, we all know it" Jay said bitterly

"You won't. Ben promised you" Mal pleaded

"Yea but he doesn't know about that night"

"It doesn't matter, it's not who you are. I know that" Carlos said

"But I could be seen as a threat to others, and then she would have to tell" Jay said

"Jay, Mal and I don't even know the details of that night. You need to trust Carlos right now. He's the only one that knows" Evie said gently

"It'll change everything" Jay said sadly

"And what if it doesn't change anything?" Mal asked

"It didn't for me" Carlos said

"Jay" Jackie said gently "Sometimes the conversations that scare you the most are the ones you need to have. It's obviously something very upsetting to you and I know it's hard to trust people. But please know that you can trust me. Why don't you try, you can stop whenever if you are that uncomfortable with it. I won't record it, and I don't have to take any notes of it. It stays in this room. I promise you" Jackie said looking him in the eye.

"But you can't understand it without knowing about the other night" Jay said

"So tell me the parts you are comfortable telling me about both nights then. Like I said, we can order a pizza" Jackie said

"Do you want us to?" Evie asked

Jay nodded. His hands were shaking and he was fiddling with his gloves to try and calm them down.

"I was abused by my dad. For years, physically and mentally. Until here, I thought I deserved it" Jay said sadly

"Over there, here. You never deserved it" Jackie said

"It was a night my dad really went at it" Jay said looking at Evie.

"Jay stayed with me while I purged so I could go back to my mother, and then he walked me home. He hadn't been home in days. We had a loft clubhouse that we usually tried to stay at. And when he went home his father beat him, starved him and chained him to a wall. He essentially was held hostage by his own father. Only getting small bits of stale bread and water. The three of us finally got the courage to get him free. His father..." Evie said stopping to get confirmation from Jay

"His father basically said he was most likely dead anyway that he would trade us for his body for the stuff I had stolen. We got him back to the loft and cleaned him up, stitched him up" Carlos said putting a hand on Jay's shoulder

"He was in bad shape" Mal said sadly

"I didn't care" Jay said quietly "I didn't want to go through that again, I was done. I wanted out. But the three of them made sure I stayed and took care of me" Jay said looking down

"What do you mean by you were done?" Jackie asked cautiously

"I told them they should have just let me die" Jay said squeezing his eyes shut

He knew his friends cringed anytime he said that.

"After he was better we all were in trouble for not being home much. Rumors started about people potentially coming here and our parents wanted to make sure we all knew that they were in charge. We hadn't seen Jay for a few days at all, not even out on the streets stealing or bribing people for food so I snuck over one day and I saw in the window he was bloody and bruised" Carlos said stopping

"The girls are gonna hate me" Jay said sadly

"Uh we're right here, no we won't" Mal said

"He uh, he'd beaten me pretty bad again. But I had gotten bigger since the last time I had a bad beating and for the first time I hit him back" Jay said closing his eyes.

He didn't want to talk about this, but he knew he couldn't keep making Carlos keep this secret. It was the night he knew if he didn't get off the Isle he would turn into his father.

"It's ok" Evie whispered

"Take you time" Jackie said softly

"I hit him back, hard. He had a bloody nose and was on the ground. He'd had a knife or machete, I'm not sure what it was but he was still waving it around. I got it from him and I was standing over him holding it..."Jay said stopping

"Jay" Carlos said gently

Jay nodded and Carlos talked for a little.

"I hadn't seem him, the girls hadn't seen him so I went to his dad's shop and I heard a bunch of yelling and things breaking and when I looked in the window I saw Jay standing over his dad. Jay had a black eye and some scrapes, he was bleeding from a cut on his jaw and under his eye. I also noticed his dad was bleeding and I didn't know what happened but I knew Jay couldn't use the weapon on his father because his father would have killed him.

_"Jay" Carlos said going into the shop_

_Jay was a in a trace he didn't hear Carlos._

_"Jay, Jay" Carlos said louder_

_Jafar was making noises on the ground, Jay's foot was on his chest and he was standing there holding a sword, machete looking weapon over his father._

_"Jay, it's Carlos. Give me the machete" Carlos said gently_

_Jay's head snapped to where Carlos was and turned to look at his best friend. He could see the fear on Carlos's face when Jay spun around._

_"GO AWAY" Jay yelled at Carlos _

_"Not till you come with me" Carlos said calmly. He felt like his heart was going to beat out of his chest, but he knew he had to be calm and levelheaded._

_"Go away Carlos, you saw nothing"_

_"Yea nothing, because nothing happened, so come with me" Carlos said_

_Jay took his foot off of Jafar's chest and snapped the machete into two and tossed it outside in the garbage heap. He came back in and stood over Jafar._

_"Don't ever lay a hand on me again" Jay spat with anger and followed Carlos, never saying a word._

_They were walking quickly to the loft when Carlos finally broke the silence._

_"Jay"_

_"No" Jay said through gritted teeth._

_"Jay wait up" Carlos said practically jogging to catch up with him. He reached out and tried to put his hard on Jay's shoulder and Jay freaked out. _

_Jay knew Carlos was behind him but he just wanted to be alone, he wanted to be anywhere, and be there alone. He felt a hand on him and immediately threw his shoulder back. He heard a loud thump and locked back and realized that it was Carlos he had just leveled to the ground. _

_"Shit, Carlos" _

_"What the?" Carlos asked from the ground _

_"You ok?" Jay asked finally stopping _

_"Yea, spines aren't important anyway" Carlos grumbled as Jay stood him up and took off again _

_Carlos lost him as he was still trying to catch his breath, he found him a little while later closer to the loft with a bunch of objects he clearly had stolen along the way. _

_"I'm not talking about it" Jay said getting up from the wall _

_"What the fuck Jay, you wanna explain what is happening?" Carlos asked pulling his arm again _

_"No" Jay said and stormed off _

_Carlos followed him and they finally reached the apartment, Jay slammed the door as they went in. Grateful that the girls weren't there. _

_"What the hell did I walk in on earlier?" Carlos finally asked _

_"Nothing, just drop it" Jay said _

_"Jay seriously? You want me to go find Evie, or even Mal?" _

_"God no, I didn't think you were that stupid" Jay said angrily_

_Carlos didn't respond. _

_"Fine you want to be a dick go right ahead" Carlos said getting ready to leave _

_Jay threw something across the room and it shattered. _

_"What the?" Carlos yelled _

_Jay didn't say anything so Carlos just grabbed his jacket. He was about to head for the door when he heard a noise come form the other room. _

_Carlos closed his eyes and went over to Evie's bed where Jay was laying face down _

_"Jay" Carlos said gently, not touching him _

_"Go away" Jay said trying to hide his emotions _

_"You really want me to go?" Carlos asked _

_"No" Jay mumbled _

_"Ok" Carlos said nodding _

_"You sure you don't want me to go get the girls?" Carlos asked _

_"No" Jay said _

_"You wanna talk to me about it?" Carlos prodded _

_"Nope" Jay said into the pillow _

_"Jay" Carlos said _

_"NO Carlos" Jay said sitting up quickly "You ever stand over your mother thinking that you're going to kill them?" Jay asked through gritted teeth _

_"No" Carlos said _

_"Then fuck off" Jay said shoving him off the bed _

_"Um owe" Carlos said getting up _

_"You want some one to hit or punch? Go for it, everyone else pushes me around, why should you be any different?" Carlos asked _

_"What the fuck are you talking about Carlos?" Jay asked _

_"You think you're so much like your father, go ahead and swing at me. Wouldn't be any different from anyone else" Carlos said _

_"Carlos stop" Jay said _

_"Then tell me what was happening" _

_"I was tired of him pushing me around" Jay said quietly _

_"I get that" Carlos said _

_"I'm just so tired of all the shit" Jay said  
_

_"What happened today?" Carlos asked _

_"I don't want to talk about it" Jay said _

_"Can I ask you one thing?" Carlos asked _

_"What?" Jay asked annoyed _

_"If I hadn't walked in..." Carlos asked trailing off _

_"I don't...I don't know" Jay said _

_"Jay" Carlos said gently _

_"I think I might have..." Jay said, voice breaking_

_"It's ok" Carlos said gently putting his hand on Jay's shoulder_

_"Does that...?" Jay asked trailing off  
_

_"No, not at all" Carlos said _

_He could see his best friend falling apart and he didn't know what to do. The rarest of rare occasions that Jay talked about any thing it was always with Evie. He didn't know what to do or say and so he did what Evie would do, he hugged Jay. _

"I think that...that I might have killed him if Carlos hadn't come in" Jay said quietly

Evie wrapped her arms around Jay

"I love you" Evie said to him

"How?" Jay asked

"How?" Evie asked looking at him

"I just told you..."

"You might have felt it was the only way out that night, but it didn't happen. I'm sure you've wanted to kill Carlos at some point but haven't. Or even Mal or me. just because you had those thoughts, whether or not you wanted to act on them. Jay it's not who you are" Evie said wiping her own eyes

"Evie's right Jay" Jackie said

"But I..." Jay said before realizing Jackie had more to say

"You might have thought it at that moment but your father was abusing you, he was physically harming you and it's very understandable that you would want that to stop. Do you remember anything before that?" Jackie asked

"Just all the times he hurt me, and I wanted it to stop" Jay said shedding a few tears "I was just tired of being told how worthless I am and tired of being hurt" Jay said, letting the rest of his emotion out.

"Let it all out, Jay" Jackie said calmly and handed a tissue box to him

"I just wanted it all to stop, I couldn't figure out to get myself out of it. I couldn't protect myself anymore and it was either me or him and I..." Jay said before crumbling and letting the rest of his tears flow

"It's ok, you're safe with us" Evie said holding him tightly

"We're right here" Carlos said putting his hand on Jay's shoulder

"We love you so much" Mal said moving to stand behind the sofa to hug him.

"I'm a monster" Jay said

"No you're not" Mal said in the strongest voice she could muster "You are brave and strong and smart and funny. And most importantly you're our family" Mal said kissing the top of his head.

Jay started to calm down and Jackie handed him some water.

"Jay, what's going through your head now?"

"I don't know. It's weird not hiding everything anymore" Jay said fiddling with his water bottle

"Why didn't you tell us sooner?" Mal asked

"I was scared that you would think I would hurt you guys or something" Jay said

"No never" Mal said

"He brought out the worst in me" Jay said

"Because he hurt you" Evie said

"But if Carlos hadn't come in..." Jay said

"I only talked to you, I didn't take the machete from you or pull you off of him. You could've done it with me in there but you chose not to" Carlos said

"I wouldn't have done it with you there"

"Yea but you could have turned the machete on me or pushed me out and locked the door. The point is Jay, is that you didn't, who knows what would have happened otherwise. But you never tried again" Carlos said

"Jay, you had been through so much trauma that you didn't open up to anyone about. You've said that Mal, Evie and Carlos always knew you had their back but you felt that you couldn't ever show weakness to them. If you were a monster, Carlos coming in wouldn't have stopped you from attacking your father" Jackie said

Jay nodded.

"If you really did want to go around killing people you would have done it by now. I've met with a lot of people and you are kind and good and everything else your friends have said today. I think that the night you almost killed your father is one that still scares you, you need to forgive yourself for it. It's ok to have wanted to stop your own pain. You don't put your hand into a hot oven without an oven mitt, if you do grab something right out of the oven you usually toss it or drop it. You want that pain to stop. That's all it was. But once whatever was in the oven has cooled enough to eat you eat it and move on. You're safe here now, your father can't hurt you here. That's why you are so horrified by the idea of it. You don't want to kill him now, you wanted to kill him because of the things he was saying and doing to you. You need to forgive yourself. I'm guessing you're angry you let your father hurt you like that?"

Jay nodded

"It's ok, Jay" Jackie said

"I'm sorry I didn't tell you sooner" Jay said

"We've all tried to deal in our own way. We get it" Mal said

"We now know why your nightmares were so bad" Evie said

"I hope you know we always have your back" Carlos said

"Why don't I give you guys a few minutes while I order some pizza. Something tells me it's needed" Jackie said smiling

"Extra bacon please?" Carlos asked

"Anyone else have favorite toppings?"

"The three of us like ham and pineapple" Mal said

"I'll be right back then" Jackie said stepping out of her office.

"You ok?" Carlos asked him

"I think I am" Jay said truthfully

"Thank you for finally confiding in us" Mal said

"You did really good" Evie said "We all did, today"


	25. Chapter 25

"So pizza is all ordered, it will be here soon" Jackie said walking back into her office

"Thank you" Carlos said, speaking for all of them

"So before we have some pizza, I want to give you each some homework"

"Oh great, more work" Jay said rolling his eyes

"It's not hard, and make sure you do your school work first but I want you all to just write down a few things that you either like about being here, want to do now that you have this knew life, how you feel about it. And I also want you to work on forgiving yourselves. That won't happen overnight but all of you still carry around pain and trauma from the Isle, I think Jay has the most forgiving to do, of himself. But you guys can help each other with it, you can always contact me" Jackie said

"Does that help the nightmares?" Mal asked, knowing Jay wouldn't

"It should, with time. You all experienced this over many years, I'm not saying it will take years to be ok with it, but it will take time. Give yourselves and each other that time"

"Thank you" Evie said

"I'm very pleased with how you all opened up today, I was expecting more hostility and less talking. That's very encouraging" Jackie said

"You guys are free to come as much as you would like, but I would like to see you once a week for right now. You all seem to have done well with having each other here, but it that changes or one of you wants to meet individually, that's more than ok"

The four just nodded, they were physically and emotionally drained and just wanted their pizza.

"Pizza is here" Jackie's assistant said knocking on the door

They sat around and ate, they talked about Jackie's life and also places to go in Auradon and the surrounding towns, but they didn't discuss anything therapy related. They finished their pizza and were getting ready to walk out when Jackie stopped them.

"You all have my card, right? Email me, call me any time, for something good, for something bad, any questions" Jackie said looking at the four of them.

Mal was in the front of the group, Evie and Carlos in the middle with Jay behind them ushering them out. She thought it was very indicative of their personalities, Mal leading but also Mal and Jay protecting Evie and Carlos and Jay making sure everyone else was ok before himself.

"We do thank you" Carlos said

"It was more helpful I think than any of us had thought coming in" Mal said

"You treated us like real people, that have been through a lot, but don't want to be defined by it. I really appreciate that" Evie said

"I didn't expect to come in here and be able to talk about things, thank you for that" Jay said slightly awkwardly

"Of course, now go do well in school this week and I will see you back next week" Jackie said handing them the left over pizza.

* * *

A few days had passed since meeting with Jackie and Jay figured he should probably stop avoiding Lonnie. Right now they were solely communicating through funny videos and memes and Jay knew he needed to talk to her at some point.

Carlos and Jay were getting ready for class one morning when Jay started looking through Carlos's nightstand.

"Um privacy much?" Carlos said walking out of the bathroom

"Like you're hiding anything except chocolate in here" Jay shot back rummaging through

"Why don't you tell me what you're trying to steal instead of making a mess" Carlos said crossing his arms

"The papers I gave to you at the museum" Jay said still shuffling through the drawer

"They aren't in there" Carlos said laughing

"I scanned them into my computer and I put the originals in my locked desk drawer" Carlos said

"Oh sorry" Jay said standing up

"What are you doing with them?" Carlos asked walking over to his desk

"You're gonna sit with Lonnie while she reads them" Jay said

"I'm what?" Carlos asked stopping

"I can't do it, I can't see her when she reads them" Jay said

"Jay" Carlos said gently

"She shouldn't be alone when she reads them" Jay said getting frustrated

"Yea and she should be with you. You're the only one that can explain it all to her and make sense of it" Carlos said

"But I can't be with her when she reads them"

"Maybe you aren't ready for her to read them" Carlos said

"I mean I'll never be ready for it" Jay said "She could hate me after it"

"Ugh, god you're worse than Mal and Ben. Lonnie isn't going to hate you. She knows you have shit in your past. I mean I don't think she expects you to tell her stories of you and your dad baking together and tucking you in at night and kissing your booboos"

"I don't need my booboos kissed" Jay said moodily

"My point is, Lonnie might not understand our past, but she isn't going to judge you for it" Carlos said

"You saw what a mess I was at the museum and at therapy the other day, you know she's gonna cry reading those letters, I hope I won't cry but face it emotions suck and I don't know how to not cry anymore and we both can't be an emotional wreck" Jay said agitated

"Ok first, you need to work on this anger still. Second, you really think it won't upset Lonnie more than you aren't with her when she reads them, you would rather have her have questions than be there to explain things or clear things up?" Carlos asked

"I don't know" Jay yelled

"Ok, easy" Carlos said, not wanting to upset him

"Why don't we compromise. We'll both be there when she reads them"

"Because that's not awkward" Jay said

"But her and I won't be?"

"I don't know. I miss her ok" Jay said shoving his textbook in his backpack

"Then talk to her today after school and tell her to come over. I can put earbuds in and half listen incase you need me to step in ok?" Carlos said conceding

"You ok with that?" Jay asked realizing what Carlos was getting at

"Yea, you're not ready to graduate from your pull-ups yet" Carlos said smirking

"Please do not ever insist that you are my pull-ups ever again. You do know that pull-ups are basically a diaper for when kids accidentally crap themselves"

"Yea that's what I mean. You don't need diapers anymore but you're just not quite ready for your big boy underwear yet" Carlos said laughing

"You are so weird. And we know whose bigger" Jay said smirking and grabbing his hoodie and waiting for Carlos to yell at him

"You're ridiculous. Why am I friends with you again?" Carlos said following him to class.

"Cause Mal said so at some point" Jay said shrugging

Carlos rolled his eyes as they walked out of their dorm.

* * *

Jay and Carlos were walking into the dining hall to grab a quick bagel and juice when Jay literally ran into Lonnie.

"Sorry, here let me get you new food" Jay said not realizing

"It's fine" Lonnie said realizing it was Jay

Jay's head snapped up and his face turned red.

"Lon...Lonnie. Sorry, I wasn't paying attention. What kind of food do you want. I can scan it in my card" Jay said awkwardly rambling

"Hey" Lonnie said softening

"Hi" Jay said awkwardly standing back up and handing Lonnie her textbook that he had knocked out of her hand

"You ok?" Lonnie asked him

"Yea. You?" Jay stammered

"I was actually throwing it out. I'm all finished" Lonnie said

"Jay hurry up, we can't be late for class" Carlos said walking over with their bagels and juice. He had seen Jane in line and hadn't realized Jay ran into Lonnie

"Morning Lonnie" Carlos said putting the bagel into his friend's hand

"Hi Carlos" Lonnie said sweetly

"Dude, come on" Carlos said tugging his harm. Trying to help his friend save some of his dignity.

"We better get going to class" Lonnie said nodding

"You're going to?" Jay asked

He mentally groaned when the words came out of his mouth. Of course Lonnie was going she sits right in front of him and Carlos in World History.

"We have class together" Lonnie said laughing lightly

"Right, yea" Jay said finally taking his bagel from Carlos

"Jay, are you ok?" Lonnie asked leaning into him so everyone wouldn't hear

"Yea, great" Jay said "We better go to class. I might actually go to the bathroom really quick before..." Jay said handing his bagel to Carlos and quickly walking away

Carlos sighed and looked at Lonnie.

"How is he? He's going to great lengths to avoid me" Lonnie said concerned as they walked to class

"He's processing a lot. He's hurt, it's the first time he's really let himself feel the hurt and he's struggling. I'm gonna go check on him, can you bring our food to class. I don't really want to bring it in the bathroom."

"Sure. Just tell him I miss being his friend" Lonnie said

"I will. He has some crazy idea that he can't be honest with you"

"He can. I would never want to hurt him" Lonnie said seriously

"I know" Carlos said peeling away from Lonnie and walked to the bathroom entrance

"Jay?" Carlos asked as he walked in. He didn't see him which meant he was hiding from him since this is the closest bathroom or he bagged and went back to their room.

He saw a pair of sneakers underneath a stall that were Jay's and knocked on the door.

"Jay I'm the only one in here" Carlos said gently

Jay unlocked the door and Carlos saw he was crouched in front of the toilet.

"You sick?" Carlos asked concerned

"Saw Lonnie, thought about telling her I need to talk to her, panicked and then thought I was going to be sick"

"You have a full panic attack?" Carlos asked wetting a paper towel and handing it to him for his neck

"Yea"

"I'm sorry I didn't come in sooner. You want me to walk you back to our room?"

"No, I need to go to class" Jay said

Carlos stood up and put his hand on Jay's shoulder which only caused him to freak out.

"Sorry, sorry"

Carlos just nodded and continued.

"It won't do you any good to be there if you're only going to have another panic attack"

"I'm ok I think" Jay said taking the water bottle out of his backpack and taking small sips

"Ok, whatever you think is better" Carlos said

"I really hate these" Jay said sadly

"I know, dude" Carlos said

"Thanks for being a good friend and not overreacting to these" Jay said

Carlos hated seeing his best friend like this, but at least he told him and didn't lie about it. He needed to be strong for the both of them. They washed their hands and walked into class just as the bell was ringing.

"Gentleman nice of you to join us" Mr. Friar, their speech and presentation teacher said.

"Sorry, sir" Carlos said and Jay just nodded.

"Jay see me after class" Mr. Friar said

Carlos saw the way Jay froze when he said that, that was never good.

Lonnie quietly handed them their food and as Jay went to reach for his bagel, his fingers brushed Lonnie's and he pulled them back like it hurt.

Carlos heard his breathing increase and Lonnie quickly turned around. Jay slunk further down in his seat and pulled his hat down, or was about to.

"Jay, how many times do I need to tell you, no hats in class. We go through this every day" their teacher said frustrated

"I can't" Jay mumbled grabbing his backpack and quickly leaving

"Jay where do you think you're going?" Their teacher yelled

Their classes didn't all start at the same time so he took his phone out of his pocket and texted Jane, Mal and Evie to see if any of them could go check on Jay.

"Mr. DeVille, no phones. You and Jay have been disruptive enough. Go to Fairy Godmother's office right now, I'm writing you up"

"Mr. Friar I think Jay is sick"

"Out now" He said pointing to the door

Carlos grabbed his stuff and rolled his eyes and headed over to the office.

"Hi, I'm here to see Fairy Godmother" Carlos said

"She just stepped out with another student. She should be back soon" the receptionist said "Please have a seat, we know Mr. Friar sent you"

"Yea" Carlos said sitting down

* * *

Jay left class as quickly as he could. He didn't know where to go, he knew Carlos had to stay in class and he didn't want to find Mal or Evie. He didn't want to be alone so he went to Fairy Godmother's office and asked if he could go see Jackie. Fairy Godmother called her and she said she would clear her schedule for him and she drove him over.

Jay was told to walk right in and he walked in and sat on the couch without talking to Jackie.

"Jay, I didn't expect you back so soon" Jackie said smiling at him

All Fairy Godmother had said on the phone was that he didn't look good and and asked to talk to her but had no other details.

Jay's hands were shaky and he was fiddling with the hem of his sweatshirt.

"You have breakfast yet?" She asked trying to get him to open up

Jay just shook his head no.

"You want some cereal?" Jackie asked

Jay just shook his head no.

"How about a granola bar and some fruit?" Jackie asked

Jay didn't say anything so Jackie nodded got up from her desk and walked out of the room. She was back within seconds and set a several granola bars, sone mini muffins, juice and a banana on the table in front of Jay and sat in one of the chairs closer to him.

Jay stared at them and Jackie leaned forward and reached her hand out "which one don't you want?"

Jay flinched as her hand got closer to him and he started shaking. She sat back up and looked at him.

"Jay, I can't help you unless you tell me what's going through your head right now. But I'm gonna guess that it has to do with panic attacks and the threat of being touched" Jackie said

"What the hell do you know!" Jay said yelling and getting up off the couch

"Jay" Jackie said gently

"What?" Jay yelled spinning around

"Why don't we go for a walk around the hospital campus, it's a nice day. Are you feeling too closed in in here?" She asked calmly

"Fine" Jay said walking to the door

"There's a pond down the path, we can keep walking or just sit and watch the ducks. My daughter loves to come visit the ducks" Jackie said

"Life would be easier if I was a duck" Jay mumbled

"Maybe" Jackie said "But ducks can't eat pizza"

"I guess" Jay said softening

"Jay I can only help you if you tell me what's going on" Jackie said as they walked farther down the path

"It's stupid, I shouldn't have come" Jay said

"It's not stupid. Not to you and not to me" Jackie said

"Carlos and I went to get breakfast and I walked straight into Lonnie, like not pass by like actually slammed into her, she dropped her stuff"

"Ok. And" Jackie prodded

"I panicked when I realized it was her. I haven't talked to her since we met last. Carlos won't sit with her to read what I wrote last week, he thinks I need to do it and I can't. And I panicked and went to the bathroom, Carlos came in and found me. I went to class, teacher was practically up my ass about almost being late, having a hat on, wanted to see me after class and I panicked again and ran out of the room" Jay said kicking a stone

"This might seem like an unpopular opinion but I think you need to be the one to be with her when she reads it. If you can't be in the room with her when she does, I don't think it's the right time to tell her. I'm not saying you will ever completely feel comfortable doing it but at the same time, if you're panicking then you're not ready"

"Whatever" Jay said

"You want to sit?" Jackie asked once they reached the benches

"Fine" Jay said sitting

"Jay I want to help you, it seems like you want to help you, so please let me help you" Jackie said "You asked to come here for a reason"

"I just want to freaking stop having panic attacks" Jay said frustrated

"Ok. Now that's a start" Jackie said

"Yea so fix it" Jay said

"Jay, it's not that easy" Jackie said giving him a small laugh

"Then what am I doing here?" Jay asked

"You want to get better, but it will take time. I'm just asking you to give me, but more importantly yourself the time to heal and process" Jackie said gently putting a hand on his shoulder

"Ok" Jay said softly, nodding

* * *

Hey everyone so so sorry this update took awhile. School has been very hectic with the end of the semester. Please don't forget to review, it really encourages me!


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